Grey's Anatomy: Grey Matter

Zoanne Clack on "Where the Wild Things Are"...

Original Airdate: 4-24-08

Okay, before I start the blog, I wanted to mix this up a little in the spirit of the episode.  Let’s have a contest.  10 points for whomever tells me why Bailey’s carrying her baby around all the time.  25 points if you can tell me the name of the crazy tumor that Phillip ends up having (no cheating by going back and looking!!!  We’re on the honor system here!).  40 points for the guesser of the theme of this episode.  And here’s the motherload, the “medical mystery” if you will: there are lyrics to a song referenced within this blog (which also gives another clue to the theme).  80 points for the person who can name the song (and an extra 20 for the artist).  Answers are in spoilers at the end (remember: honor code people!).

Alright, you with me?  Let’s start this party right.  I know I, for one, have been a bottom-feeder for the last few months.  A scavenger sitting in the mud and spitting out rocks on the bottom of the fishtank, flipping through my TIVO and watching umpteenth re-runs, models modeling, mensa members losing to fifth graders, chefs making 20-course meals out of garbanzo beans, and stars doing everything from dancing to rehab to showing us their “other talents.”  Although I do admit that I have been crazy inspired by The Biggest Loser.  Love it.  Can’t get enough of it.  I sing the theme song to myself as I get up in the morning (What have you done today, to make you feel proud…?)  And the piece de la resistance:  Groomer Has It.  Animal Planet.  Feel the burn.

Did I mention I’m SO GLAD WE’RE BACK????!!!  So glad prime-time network TV is back and can fill my TIVO with sweet, yummy non-rerun fictional candy again.  Can I get an Amen?

So what’s been going on in the 6 weeks (tv time) since we’ve been gone?  I’ve heard a lot of speculation out there, but Meredith is absolutely.  Not.  Pregnant.  Not even close.  Hasn’t even had sex.  With anyone.  Meredith.  Our beloved, “have-sex-instead-of-problems”, “meet-your-soul-mate-and-sleep-with-him-after-picking-him-up-in-a-bar” Meredith.  She’s traded sex for… therapy?  Therapy?  Our Meredith?  She senses there’s something wrong, something really wrong.  But she can’t put her finger on it.  Or can’t admit what she’s already put her finger on.  Therapy is interesting because it’s the one place you get to talk about yourself incessantly and someone actually LISTENS.  They’re actually paid to listen to your drivel.  And occasionally give you mind-blowing assessments of your behavior.  But Mer’s not quite taking full advantage of that.  But it looks like there’s some movement at the end… we’ll see what she does with that.  Maybe it’ll help her actually start acting like a human being around Derek.  They haven’t spoken in the entire six-week interim.  Mer’s been totally avoiding him and he’s been avoiding her.  But they can’t keep that up.  They can’t handle that.  Deep, deep down, on their basest levels, taking intellect out of the picture, they belong together.  They need each other.  It’s instinctual, base, feral. 

But what if it’s not?  What if all of their instincts are wrong, like with Izzie?  She put all of her blood, sweat and tears into Cheech, I mean, Otis, and for what?  Poor Izzie.  It’s time for her to figure out who she wants to be and what kind of doctor she wants to be.  On her own.  Not emulating Cristina, not fighting for lost causes, something where she can take charge and find out what she’s good at.  Don’t you think?  Thank God Richard’s around to put everything into perspective for her.  Maybe her instincts weren’t great, but she’s human.  And being human ain’t so bad.

Unless you’re Cristina.  When being human is bad.  When being human means that you have to go against all your natural instincts to win at all costs.  When being human means you have to put your tail between her legs (figuratively speaking, of course) and sacrifice the win to get where you want to go in life.  To realize that sometimes in order to win, you’ve got to lose – you have to give up one thing to gain another.

What you gain can be what you need.  Humans need human connection.  And when they don’t get it, they tend to take it out on other people and not realize what they’re doing themselves.  Who could I possibly be talking about?  Maybe a little guy we like to call George?  George walking around like a wounded lion.  Pouncing on people left and right, trying not to show the scars of being left out of his peer group.  Poor Lexie got the brunt of this… little did he know he had a friend right there, the whole time, wanting to be there for him.  And frickin’ Lexie!  There’s someone who needs to be loved.  So sad.  So vulnerable.  Which kind of actually makes her strong in a very co-dependent kind of “please like me” kind of way.  She’s like a little puppy who works so hard to do right and please their owner (except that puppies don’t usually have the whole alcoholic father part).  Her pleasing puppy is in sharp contrast to Alex’s underdog, who’s always fighting to keep his head above water.  For him, it’s like a jungle sometimes, it makes him wonder how he keeps from going under.  There’s something going on with him.  With his past.  Something that doesn’t fully let him reach his ultimate potential…. Hmmm, maybe we’ll start finding out what that is soon.  Every dog has its day.

Humans also get jealous, and boy is that running rampant around Seattle Grace.  Cristina so wants to be in the Callie-Erica crowd and she’s so not.  Callie and Erica are like birds of a feather now.  They stick together.  And Cristina is not in any way a part of their flock.  And what about Mark?  He’s totally jealous of Derek.  It’s like Derek is the prodigal wolf that strayed from the pack and Mark’s been waiting for him to come back, but Derek’s not coming.  Mark thought they’d go back to the pre-Addison days where they were hunters on the prowl, spiders spinning their webs.  But Derek’s already moved on to new prey.  Already catching someone new in his web. 

And that somebody is Rose. During the time we haven’t seen them they’ve developed a bit of a mating ritual where she pretends she doesn’t care and tries to hold on to her iguana aloofness even in the face of the overwhelming cuteness that is McDreamy.  And for once, he’s not trying to hold back the McDreaminess.  Usually reserved only for Meredith, he’s weaving his web and it’s trapping Rose.  The more she resists, the tighter the web gets around her.  I don’t think she’ll be fighting it much more.  But will Derek watch her struggle in his web, store her up for later, or go for it?  He seems pretty determined… she wants what he wants.  She’s a real woman ready for a real relationship.  And despite Mark’s incessant taunting, Derek’s going to stay true to Derek.

As Bailey stays true to Bailey.  Taking care of the hospital, the residents, her baby, her life, and overall just being supreme ruler of the universe that she is.  But can she handle it all?  Is she superwoman or is she about to implode?  Or perhaps even explode.  I mean, she just went through one of the biggest tragedies of her life, feeling like she may have failed in protecting her own little bear cub.  Then here comes this literal mama bear that kills because her bear cub was just touched.  Overreaction?  Or simply just instinct?  Can Bailey’s instincts be as sharp as she thinks they can be?  I think she really believes she can handle it all.  She is woman, hear her roar.  She’s also a doctor.  And a chief resident. A wife.  A mother.  (CAUTION: SPOILERS (answers) AHEAD!)  She’s split up with her hubby and she’s trying to get as much time with Little Tuck as possible (10 points).  She’s a Mama Bear.  Which is how we got to our theme: Animal Instincts (40 points).  A freakin’ bear attacked Phillip because he had a malignant glioma (25 points – and I’ll give it to you if you guessed just “glioma”) that was causing him to go against his own natural instincts.   Not to mention our residents are running around the hospital like rodents, feeding off of the life (and death) of the hospital. 

And now for the ultimate.  The motherload.  The “medical mystery” of it all.  The 80-point monster:

The lyric was: It’s like a jungle sometimes it makes me wonder how I keep from going under… And the song is called “The Message” (circa 1982). 

20-point bonus if you guessed Grandmaster Flash and the Furious Five.

How’d you do?  Max is 175…

Zoanne Clack on "Oh, the Guilt"

Original Airdate: 10-19-06

Admit it.  Grey’s Anatomy is one of your guilty pleasures, right?  Your curl-up-on-the-couch, unplug-the-phone, “get your own dinner” pleasure.  I could be wrong, but that’s what people tell me.  Don’t feel bad.  Some people’s guilty pleasures get them into much more trouble than watching Grey’s in the comfort of your home ever will.

Take Callie and George for example.  Callie’s got a new little guilty pleasure and his name is McSteamy.  Yowza.  That woman knows how to work it.  But now she’s got to work it out.  Work out the guilt.  She may have been trying to hide it, but she’s feeling hella guilty if you ask me.  I mean, let’s face it.  Her break up last week was not a lesson in communication.  Yeah, she can make the point that George should’ve known so she doesn’t have to feel guilty, but look at it from George’s point of view.  I could totally understand his… confusion!  That may be because, I, too, am no good at relationships.  Being, well, let’s say an “over-thirty-never-married-singleton” did not happen for no reason.  But, on the other hand, don’t you think George should’ve known?  He kept pushing her away, she was never a priority.  As far as she was concerned, it was over.  Not just I’m-mad-at-you-over.  Over over.  Is she wrong for that or completely justified?  Who’s to say…

And what about poor Addison?  She got kicked out of a city over her guilty pleasure.  She stayed with Mark!  She moved in with Mark!  She was IN LOVE with Mark!  Sure, she hoped against all hope that the love she and Derek shared would overrule the wrongs, but she mainly came to Seattle because Mark had cheated on her and she realized who he really was/is (which is, BTW, a MAN WHORE! - since he’s been in Seattle he’s slept with Addison, Callie and flirted with Mer, I think he pretty much fits the bill, towel and all). 

She didn’t want to tell Derek. She had to.  She knew she could lose everything.  But she faced Derek head on.  Nose to nose.  Eye to eye.  You’ve got to commend her for that.  Okay, she was coerced into it… a little.  Mark just wouldn’t let up!!  Not to mention she was face to face with the horrors of what guilt brings with her patients, Mr. and Mrs. McStuckey.  It’s so hard (although extremely brave) to look someone in the eye while confessing some truth you’ve been hiding from.  I mean, you’ve been hiding from it for a reason, right?  Guilt is a crazy powerful emotion.  Addison should be commended.  Except maybe for falling right back into the bed that got her in this mess in the first place.

Which brings me to my next point:  top five reasons you should not feel guilty about taking this hour out of your life to watch our show.

(1) You get to learn life lessons.  Yes, I’m the doctor-writer on the show but I’m not talking medical things, I’m talking life lessons.  Things that pertain to all of us somehow, someway.  Not in every episode for every one of us, but I think if you look back, you’ll find some reflection of yourself in at least one of the characters or situations.

For me, in this episode, the thing that became plainly obvious when we started writing is that we didn’t need some big huge reason for Mrs. McStuckey to need to tell her husband.  Did I mention guilt is a crazy strong emotion?  My learning point for this episode: the truth just has to come out.  It just has to. 

(2)  You get to see that there are people in the universe more flawed than you!  (not that anyone who watches GA is flawed… you’re all fantabulous!)  Everyone’s looking for perfection and I think our show pretty much lets you know:  there is no perfection, just levels of flawed humanity.  And our characters have that down ten-fold.  And as much as you may hate to admit it, I think most people can see just a little piece of themselves in at least one character.  I, for one, like Meredith more the more I get to know her.  Yeah, she’s got issues.  Big ones.  Gargantuan ones.  She makes bad decisions.  Really bad.  Phenomenally bad.  But who am I to say if given her situation I’d cope better?  Which leads to reason number 3…

(3)  You get to learn to move with your whole body.  Okay, I’ll admit it.  That one I learned from some wise person on “Dancing With the Stars.”  But Alex said it, too:  live your life while you can.  Mer would’ve done well to apply that philosophy and just let out the truth!  Instead, she decides to put it all on the line right after Addison dropped her truth on Derek!  He was not in any space to hear that she, too, had betrayed him all day long.  And what did she get in return?  Yep.  A whole lot of nothing.  Because even the McDreaminator is flawed.  He, too, has issues.  Deep issues.  He thought had come to terms with them.  He was trying to stand up for his mistakes.  Trying to pay for his guilt by giving Addison everything so that all would be right with the world again.  But guilt is not really accustomed to being bribed.

(4) You get to learn money management.  What would you do if you got $8.7 million dollars from out of the blue?  Spend it all?  Invest it? Travel?  Or put it up on the fridge?  I bet "put it up on the fridge" was not your answer.  What is she thinking LEAVING AN 8 MILLION DOLLAR CHECK ON THE FRIDGE??!!  But that’s just it, isn’t it?  She’s not thinking.  She’s not, people!  She hasn’t gotten as far as thinking.  It’s blood money!  This money is laced and interwoven with the finest 100% silk guilt!  Perfectly fine Izzie isn’t perfectly fine.  Yes she finally was able to go into the hospital.  Yes she talked to the chief about coming back.  But wouldn’t it be more fun to move to the islands off the coast of Belize and be Leo DiCaprio’s island neighbor?  Hmmm….

(5) You can be inspired.  Bailey inspires me.  Almost weekly.  She’s so amazing both in character and in real person-ville.  Boy did she get put through the ringer in this one.  Every possible way.  She got attacked personally, politically, and professionally.  The three “p’s” we like to say here at Grey’s.  Okay actually that’s not true, I just made that up.  But I digress.  Personal:  being a new mom.  Political: your interns have no respect for your authority (in front of your bosses, no less).  Professional:  your hormones affecting your judgment.  Show of hands for who would’ve just packed it up in the middle of M&M and given it back to Burke?  Or better yet, walked down from the podium, stood up on a chair, and punched Dr. Savoy dead in the face? 

But Bailey was steadfast, she held her ground.  In true Bailey style.  But it got to her.  She actually let it affect her patient care.  Things can get to even the toughest of us.  The question is, do we come out the other side?  Or do we let guilt win?  Do we let our own insecurities (and those insecurities that are thrust upon us by others) bring us down?  Well, if we take a lesson from Bailey we sure as hell don’t.  You get your “3 p’s” back in order.  Kind of like getting your chakras in order, but different on a same kind of level.  And it doesn’t hurt to get a little justification from a friend (which in this case, happened to be Alex, whose just a teddy bear inside).

(6) You can realize that maybe your day-to-day issues aren’t as terrible as they seem.  I mean, nobody’s gonna die if you filed the wrong folder, right (I mean, literally)?  You didn’t think I’d forgotten about the Burktina of it all, did you?   It was Burke’s first surgery… he HAD to go in.  He could either live with the guilt of watching Mr. McStuckey quickly exsanguinate (doctor talk for “bleed to death”) on the table while they waited for another surgeon to come in or he could get in there and do what needed to be done.  There’s that lingering question of “is he ready.”  Cristina assures him she’ll be there.  On his right side.  They saved this life together.  They pulled it off.  They are in love, they’ll make this work, but when do you draw the line with love?  Kind of makes the decision of which wallpaper to pick a little less life-altering, doesn’t it?

(7) You get to learn new vocabulary.  There was the roll-off-the-tongue “seriously.”  Then the infamous “vah-jay jay.”  Now I challenge you to use “swirl” in everyday conversation.  And I’m loving the re-introduction of 70’s phenom “chump.”

Yeah, yeah I know.  Not five reasons.  Whatever.  All I can say is, if Grey’s is your guilty pleasure in life, I think you can feel pretty good about it.  At least you won’t end up stuck on your spouse, being pulverized at an M&M, or getting kicked out of a city.  At least I hope not.

-Zoanne

From Zoanne Clack, writer of "Break on Through"

Original Airdate 1/29/06

I think some of you may not know that it usually takes about eight days to film a one hour show.  And that’s just the filming.  The whole process includes writing, rewriting, notes (from the studio, network, consultants, each other)… and that all takes a couple of months. 

Here’s a glimpse into what it was like on the set during the shooting of my episode:

Day 1:  Strike line.  It wasn’t as I imagined but it worked.  They used a crane to get the overhead shots, which was cool.  I played Sudoku with producer-extraordinaire Rob Corn’s son, Ethan.  That night we had some drama while filming our drama:  a bomb threat!  We actually had to shut down a few scenes early.  We were able to use the hospital where we film on a weekday because it was also Veteran’s Day so the clinics were closed.  So, a bomb threat, at 11 o’clock at night, on Veteran’s Day, at a public facility.  No small thing, right?  It took like a gazillion years for anyone besides the hospital security/police to show up.  Apparently there were all sorts of players involved:  do they call police or sheriff?  County or city?  FBI or bomb squad?  When it was clear that we weren’t going to be able to do anything else for the night, they slowly let people start going home.  A bunch of people had to come back to pick up their stuff the next day (all the cameras and equipment had to be left inside!!).  All’s well that ends well, no bomb was found, but it didn’t help our schedule much. 

Day 2:  Kali Rocha was a great pick for Sydney!  She’s funnier on the set than I think it even comes off in person.  There was a great idea circulating around that she come back as one of Bailey’s best friends.  But Kali is off to shoot her own show I think.  Good luck Kali!  Awesome job!  Don’t worry, Bailey’s just on maternity leave.  She’ll be back.  Oh yes, the bar fight.  There wasn’t enuf dialogue so the actors ad-libbed portions.  Funny stuff.

Day 3:  There was a lot of stuff with Addison and Derek in the airstream that got cut out.  Boy, was it fun, good stuff.  Wish I could tell you what it was but we might use it for another show sometime down the line.  Hmmm…

Day 4:  Kind of a hodgepodge of a day.  Lots of different scenes filming today, none that were especially riveting to film. 

Day 5:  USA Today and KABC local news was on set today.  The local news was there to do a story on Linda Klein, our on-set medical advisor.  Excuse me, our awesome on set advisor.  She was very busy orchestrating the EXIT surgery on Cheyenne’s baby and the surgery on poor Claire “flesh-eating-bacteria”-lady’s leg, so in the meantime, they interviewed some of the cast and yours truly.  My interview was about being the doctor-writer.  The marketing for the interview (to be shown after the show that aired the following Sunday) said that they were highlighting the behind-the-scenes medicine so a lot of my friends and co-workers in the ER were looking for me to be on TV (and thank God I didn’t tell anyone I was going to be on!).  As it turned out, they used a few of the cast members and the fabulous Peter Horton but the piece was about what they had initially come there for: Linda Klein.  I think people might think I’m actually lying about being on the show (sure you’re a “writer”).  Ha!  Anyway, I didn’t get my name in USA Today either.  Blah blah blah.  Such is the fate of the behind-the-scenes people…  Oh, what was filmed today, you ask?  The OR scenes.  Real baby, fake baby switch.  Good acting, long day.

Day 6:  Usually we’re saying “poor George” but this time I have to say “poor Izzie.”  She just can’t catch a break.  First her modeling career was outted by Alex.  Then the “psychic” patient outted her psychic-loving, trailer park-living, cupcake-baking mom.  Now she’s outing herself—she’s got a daughter!!  Somewhere out there is a little Izzie.  Wonder if we’ll be seeing her…  I also must give kudos to Regine Nehy (Cheyenne) who’s making her first network TV performance as Cheyenne.  She did a great job playing off of Katie (Heigl).  Some beautiful scenes of Cheyenne and Izzie together.  Barely a dry eye in the house.  Katie was a little under the weather and trying to get home for the holidays but you’d never know it.

Day 7:  It’s Monday again, had to be there at 6:45 am.  Always a pleasure.  Fortunately my commute is about 7 minutes.  Yahoo!  Grace’s friends were a hoot!  Robin, the actress that plays Patricia, was amazed when she walked in and saw that she’d be working with some of her true childhood idols.  She grew up watching these ladies on TV.  Some of you who are old enough might remember June Lockhart as the mom on both “Lassie” and “Lost in Space.”  She was also in Petticoat Junction.  Betty Garrett was the neighbor in “All in the Family” and the girlfriend of Laverne’s father in “Laverne and Shirley” (Edna Babbit!).  Rae Allen is herself a Tony award winning actress.  We were in the halls of greatness, watching how they worked it.  They were pretty great.  Still on their game, working hard after all these years.  Then there was the moment in the linen closet where Ellen/Meredith left us speechless.  And there was Derek (“P. Demp” as I like to call him).  There’s really nothing to say except that it was definitely a moment.  I’d venture to say it was an incredible moment.  Especially if you’re a MerDer fan.

Day 8:  There was more with the seasoned actresses today, a lot of Grace dying.  Solemn.  Long day.  Donna, the actress that played Grace, was looking for direction on how to die because she had never done it before.  Good point, I thought.  Word on the set was that she’s 90 years old, but imdb.com says she’s 81.  Who’s lying here?  Or was it just a vicious rumor?  Oh these TV people… Grace’s story was based on a case I had.  In the ER, you have to make decisions quick.  Once they’re made, it’s hard to go against the Hippocratic Oath (first, do harm doesn’t sound right). 
Usually, just one crew does everything, but today they called in a second unit to shoot some of Burktina’s scenes on another stage while the first unit filmed more scenes with Grace.  Efficiency.

Day 9:  Ahh!  The last day!  Yay!  Days on set are long – I don’t see how the crew does it day in and day out but I commend them.  They do a fantastic job.  My 8 or 9 days on set is nothing compared to the hours they put in.  Today is the day before Thanksgiving and we all got a lobster and steak meal for company lunch, complete with a lot of fixins.  Yum!!  Today we got to meet the newlyweds doing it in the ER.  All kinds of talk about how they should be positioned.  The actor that played Wade would literally pick up the actress that played Claire and move her around as we talked about different, ahem, “positions.”  And they had just met 10 minutes before.  Oh, the life of an actor.  It was a good feeling on set today, everybody for the most part had good spirits, the holiday started the next day, and this was the end of a long episode. 

Good night, and good luck.

From Zoanne Clack, M.D., writer of "Deny, Deny, Deny"

Originally posted on 10/16/05

As the doctor/writer on the show, I can really relate to trying to have a real life while going through internship and residency. I did my training in emergency medicine, but I was this close (showing fingers really close together) to going into surgery. At the last minute I decided to do emergency medicine instead which gave me the flexibility to pursue other interests (like, um, writing). I moved out to LA with my good "day job" (and I still work in the ER, too, though mostly at night) and was lucky enough to land my first writing job soon after I made the move.

Grey's Anatomy is actually my second show but this is my first produced episode. I think the most amazing moment on set for me was watching Chandra Wilson humanize Bailey. When she had to call the parents to tell them Jeremiah had died, it brought up memories of the many times I've had to do that myself. It was heart wrenching to watch and I felt like it captured the intensity of the emotions that medicine rigorously trains doctors to shut down. Through the characters on Grey's, real emotional issues and medical cases are explored. In fact, in this episode the case of the gunshot wound to the head was based on a guy I took care of during my residency. In the real case the patient shot himself in the head, but that seemed too morbid for our show, plus we'd already had an episode with a self-inflicted gunshot wound (and how many times do you want to see that?!).

Putting out accurate medical information is a task that we take very seriously. We realize we could be an important source of information for medical and public health issues and see it as our responsibility to make our medicine as accurate as possible. That said, there is a fine line between drama and reality. Drama is king, or maybe queen would be more accurate for our show. We research the medicine very intensely and have outside doctors that we consult but our main focus is the relationships of our main characters and the impact that the cases have on them. As a result, sometimes (but not often, I promise) medical details are sacrificed to highlight dramatic moments.

Bit of trivia for you: Kalpana Vera is the lady with Munchausen's. The translation of her name is "imaginary truth." (Kalpana: Hindi, Vera: Latin)