Grey's Anatomy: Grey Matter

We Begin Again

So Derek got dead, Mer and Cristina got old together, and Izzie showed Denny her prom dress.

Such is the stuff of dreams.   Which was kind of my theme.  For this episode.  And this season.  Dreams.  And whether or not they come true.

This is season five, people.  We, the writers, we call it our all in, go for broke season.  We’re like the Chief – the bar has been raised and we’re the ones raising it.  For us, the show is new again.  Full of chances and possibilities.  Our characters are new again, starting fresh.  We’re hopeful again.  And we’re enjoying being hopeful.  All the rules are changing.

I know you are wondering, “Okay, what does this mean?”  And I could tell you.  But I’d rather you watch and see for yourselves.  Watch what happens with Meredith and Derek, Cristina and that guy Owen, Callie and Erica, Bailey, the Chief, George, Lexie, Mark, Izzie and Alex.  All the clues for this season are right there in this first episode.  Nothing happens without a reason.  Every line of dialogue has a point.  At least, I hope it does.  I’m pretty tired but I think I’m right.

That’s all I’m going to say.   Because we’re shooting the eighth episode right now.  And I’ve got to get to the set to watch a scene being filmed.   So you’ll have more to watch.  I’ll try to write more later.

Thanks for sticking with us.  We’re going to do our damnedest to make it worth your while.

The bar has been raised, people.  Consider yourselves on notice.

The End of the Beginning... Part II...

The end of Season Five?  Pitched.  I’m not teasing you by saying that.  Not teasing by saying Season Five will be the most exciting, fly by the seat of your pants/skirts, “Oh My God Did That Just Happen???!” Season of Grey’s Anatomy EVER.

But we’re not there yet.  We’re here.  At the end of Season Four.  Which, is technically over but personally, I’m still reeling from it as most of you may be.  So where was I?

Oh yeah.  The kissing.   The healing.  The extraordinary of it all.  And, the blood.  Lots of blood from Ava/Rebecca.  She tried didn’t she?  To be the woman for Alex.  She tried to be the person in his life that he could trust and lean on.  She wanted to, in a sense take care of him because we all know that Alex has never really been taken care of by anyone before.  He’s the kid we all feel sorry for.  The kid who had to fend for himself his entire life and fight for everything he’s ever gotten.  Ava wanted to be that one person for him.  The one person who, at the end of the day, could lay his head on her shoulder and let the weight of the world go.  And she tried you guys.  Tried so hard but just couldn’t fight what was taking over.  So Alex had to say goodbye.  And we all know Alex. Nothing gets to him, but this did.  And it broke my heart to see him crying on his bed.  I felt let in to Alex for the first time.  I feel as if I’m starting to know him.  And I realize that Alex DOES want more.  He just doesn’t know how to attain it.  He had some hope that this time, it would all work out.  This time, he would save her and all would be well in the end.  Because this time, he’s an adult, a man who saves lives, literally so of course he can save this one life that means so much to him. Right?  My heart breaks for him because he couldn’t.  And poor Izzie. Izzie, who puts friendship first and everything else second. The last thing she wanted to do to Alex, was hurt him.  But, it would have hurt him worse in the end had Izzie not stepped in.  Izzie is becoming an adult because the Izzie we knew a year ago would have helped Alex care for Ava until the end of time.  But the Izzie we know now protects her friends at all costs, even when it hurts them.  Even when they hate her for doing it.  And even though Izzie is growing up, at the end of the day, she held Alex in her arms and that is the Izzie we all know.  That is one part of Izzie that I know will never change.  No matter what, she will always hold her friends in her arms at the end of the day. 

And Bailey.  Bailey, who noticed Izzie’s growth because she gave Izzie her keys to the clinic.  Bailey.  Who, if she wanted to win her family back, HAD to give up something.  And Bailey is one person who loves her life.  Every inch of it.  But she had to let go of one thing to maintain it all.  And that’s what Bailey does.  She held all of these balls in the air and they all kind of needed each other to stay afloat.. But then came the risk of losing her marriage.  Her husband.  The love of her life.  And in order to save something so dear to her, she had to let all the balls drop for a second.  And in a mere second of chaos and crazy, she saved her marriage.  She’s not the only one either.  The Chief.  Yes.  He was ready to go home. Well, he’s BEEN ready to go home because really how long can a man who has had a wife for over twenty years – a woman who cooked and handled all the business and kept everything perfect in the household – live in a trailer and eat canned food every night?  He just needed to get out there and realize that there is no him without Adele.  I mean, how many women do you know would have taken him back after Ellis?  Not only did she take him back and carry on with grace but also she continued to love him.  That is what makes Adele part of a special breed of women that no longer exists.  She comes from a time when marriages lasted a lifetime.  I know because she is of my parents’ time and they are still happily, lovingly together.  That’s why I love Richard and Adele so much.  They remind me of what I grew up with.  That love, with all its flaws is what matters more than anything.  That’s why Richard went back and that’s why Adele, knowing that Richard hurt her and knowing that it’s possible he may not change – he may continue to work hours upon hours a week at the hospital – but, it’s more about the love than anything. And Adele may only experience it for a couple of hours a day when Richard drags himself through the door after eighteen hours, but she gets to experience it.  That’s the key.  Because things could have been different.  What if Richard had found out about Ellis’ suicide attempt?  Would that have been what he needed to go back to her?  What if?  What if Richard had known?   Oh, how different it would have all been.  For Richard.  For Adele.  For Ellis.  For Meredith. 

But things play out the way they should.  Life plays out exactly the way it should.  Which brings me to Rose.  She’s the girl that Derek would have fallen for had he never laid eyes on Meredith.  Right?  She’s THAT girl.  That perfectly cute, little heart shaped face, innocent brown eyes, would smother you with kisses and cuddles kind of girl.  Yeah well, the reality of it is, life didn’t play out that way for Rose.  She didn’t meet Derek before Meredith and I have to tell you, her instincts about being intimidated by Meredith were dead on.  I feel for her though because when a man meets the love of his life, there is nothing else out there for him, no matter how great the girl.  I don’t want to be Rose right now.  Because seriously, we’ve all been Rose once or twice and it’s not fun.  And seeing it happen to someone else is like the fingernails scraping against the chalkboard. 

Okay, who has her mojo back???!  Yes!  Yes!  Yes!  I was wondering when Cristina would get out of that funk.  What happened with Burke winning the Harper Avery was what Cristina needed to move on.  Cristina needed that time of sadness and solace to come back better than ever. It’s good to have her back.  And how much did we love Cristina for standing up to Hahn?  Okay, yes Hahn is a brilliant surgeon and is great with her patients but her teaching skills?  Well, let’s just say she can use a little more loving care with her students, particularly Cristina.  Because Cristina was taught by Burke, and Burke is brilliant. Couple that with the fact that Cristina is brilliant in her own right and you have someone is who is going to be a dynamic surgeon one day.  A surgeon who will save countless lives.  A surgeon who will find cures for things.  She’s THAT surgeon.  And you nurture this person.  You don’t hold her back. You don’t humiliate her and give her mundane tasks.  So I was kind of glad that the Chief backed Cristina. Of course I felt sorry for Hahn because Hahn grew up in a surgical world that included even fewer women than there is now (so Hahn is accustomed to a “dog eat dog” kind of surgical world).  But all that matters now is Cristina has her mojo back! And the Chief made more of a difference than he thought he ever could because Cristina is giving back to the community by teaching Lexie.

And the last discussion of the day brings me back to the beginning: Kissing.  Ahhh the kissing.  Lexie getting kissed by George.  George, who is so excited about taking his exam over that he didn’t know how much that one little kiss would affect Lexie.  I love them as friends. They make good friends.  We all have that friend we met in school or the gym or somewhere – we just hit it off right away.  And right away there was no pretense or airs.  Just pure honesty.  That’s Lexie and George.  They’re really good friends and I can see the friendship evolving into something even greater.  At least, that’s what Lexie is hoping.  She is my kind of girl. The girl who likes the guy because he is a GOOD guy and that’s what George is.  He is a good guy and that’s something that Lexie could use now.  She’s going through her own challenges what with Meredith and losing her own mother and trying to keep things afloat. I’m rooting for Lexie.  She’s my kind of girl and I hope that she gets what she deserves: love.  And more kisses.  There should always be that.

Well everyone, I think I’ve said it all. I will see you in Season Five.  Have a great summer and do lots of kissing.  Kissing makes it all better in the end. 

Shonda

The Blog Between The Blogs:

I know, I know.  I said that I would say more.  Blog more. Tell you more stuff about the finale.  But a couple of things are going on.  Things I have to do before I can sit down and write properly.

One:  Private Practice begins shooting this week and I’ve got to make sure Addison is all taken care of.

Two:  The NATIONAL SPELLING BEE is this week!  NATIONAL!  SPELLING!  BEE!  Channel your inner speller or your non-inner speller and check it out on ESPN on Friday.  Why is this keeping me from talking to you about Izzie and Alex?  Because every year, I head over to my favorite website: http://throwingthings.blogspot.com/.  I head over there and I blog about the Bee.

Minute by minute. 

Now, if you don’t know what is super fun and crazy awesome about watching kids spell words, you have never seen the Scripps National Spelling Bee.  It rocks.  It rocks hard.

I’m not kidding.

I’m seriously not kidding.

The Bee rocks and I’m not saying that because it is on ESPN and ABC.  I’ve been a fan of the Bee for many years and this year, I’ll be at http://throwingthings.blogspot.com/ doing my best to write interesting commentary on the Bee along with the super smart and funny other bloggers over there.  Join us.

Come on…you know you want to…

And I’ll be back on Saturday to talk about the kissing.  When the Spelling Bee is over…

The End of the Beginning...

Original Airdate: 5-22-08

So that was Season Four.

Right after we finished filming the finale of Season Three, I sat down with the Grey’s writing staff and I pitched them the last scene of Season Four.  That’s how I do it.  I start at the end.  When Season Two concluded, I pitched the image of Cristina tearing off her wedding dress and crying in Meredith’s arms.  For this season, I knew immediately that I wanted more hope.  I knew I personally NEEDED more hope.  So I pitched Meredith standing on Derek’s land in a field of candles telling Derek where the living room could be, where the kitchen could be, where the kids could play.  Because I wanted them together.  I hated them being apart.  It made me sad.  It made me sad in a way that was bad for me and for everyone around me. 

But I also knew that, in order for Meredith to stand in that field of candles, she had to get there.  Inside.  Now I’m not an oogey inside person.  I don’t do warm and fuzzy and I certainly don’t believe in therapy.  For other people, it’s fine (yay, therapy!).  For me, not so much.  I write – that’s how I deal with my insides.  And Meredith, she performs surgery – that’s how she deals with hers.

But in order to get her to a place where she could stand in that field of candles, Mer needed a little help.   Professional help.  Which shocked my writers.  Cause they know how I feel about therapy.  But I knew something they did not.  Something I’d been keeping to myself for four seasons.  Which was the fact that Meredith sat on the kitchen floor in a pool of her mother’s blood after her mother attempted suicide.  See what I mean about me not being warm and fuzzy?  Nothing warm and fuzzy about pools of blood. Which is why I kept that detail to myself.  When you say things like that in a writers’ room, people tend to look at you funny.  People tend to suggest that YOU need therapy.  So I kept it to myself.  For four long seasons.  I didn’t even tell Debora Cahn, the writer of the episode in which Meredith CONFESSES her mother’s suicide to Dr. Wyatt.  Not until the last possible second.

We’d have these discussions about Deb Cahn’s episode in the writers’ room where everyone would ask “Shonda, what is Meredith going to TELL Dr. Wyatt in this last scene?  WHAT?”  And I’d be all, “I don’t know.  Stop talking about it.”  And they’d sigh and shoot each other these looks.  They love me but still, there were looks.

I’d like to point out that it is RUDE not to tell details like that to your writing staff.  It is cold and withholding, to use therapy-speak.  But I just couldn’t do it.  Because of two things: one, while I had pitched Meredith all whole and healed in a field of candles, I wasn’t sure I could get to a place where I BELIEVED that Meredith would ever go to the field.  And two, I love Ellis Grey.  Love her.  Even though she is dead.  I think she is fantastic.  And I couldn’t figure out, couldn’t fathom, what a mother says to her child when she is bleeding to death on the kitchen floor from self-inflicted wounds.  For a long time, I felt like anything she would have said to a five year old kid in that moment would make her a monster.  Because I have a five year old kid.  And I can’t imagine doing something so horrible and damaging to her.  What do you say to your child at a time like that?  Why is your child even there?  How do you redeem yourself in that horrifying moment?

And then I realized: be extraordinary.  Be an extraordinary woman, Meredith.  If you’ll remember, in Season Three when Ellis was lucid, she tells Meredith, “I raised you to be an extraordinary woman, Meredith and imagine my disappointment at realizing you are no more than ordinary.”  That’s what she says in the episode RIGHT BEFORE Meredith falls in the water and chooses to stop swimming.   To let herself go.   That was Meredith’s own pool of blood.

So suddenly, I had my answer.  Ellis would lie there in her blood and tell Meredith to be an extraordinary woman.  To not depend on anyone.  And she wouldn’t be talking about surgery.  But Meredith, at five years old, could not possibly know that.  And she’d become the surgeon in training who screws boys like a whore on tequila and then tries to drown herself.  Instead of realizing what Ellis actually meant -- don’t have ordinary love.  Have extraordinary love.  And that made it all possible.  It made it possible for Mer to stand in a field of candles because once she realizes that, her whole world opens up.  She can just stand there in her joy.

But like I said, I don’t do warm and fuzzy. So that last scene, it was hard for me.  To let her be oogey on the inside.  So instead, Meredith is screaming and pacing and cursing like a fishwife.  Because that’s how we do things at Grey’s.  She’s going to love Derek and be with Derek but she’s going to go in kicking and screaming.  And then I really didn’t want to just end with the two of them kissing.  Everyone said, “end with the kiss, end with the kiss, end with THE KISS.”  And I was all stubborn about it.  Because this episode, it’s not about the kiss.  It’s about the moment AFTER the kiss.  It’s about the moment when she’s standing in the field of candles alone having just DONE the thing she was most scared of doing.  She is free.  She is free.  And you’ll notice, there’s no voice over there, no Meredith telling us anything.  Because, for once, my girl Meredith is speechless. 

There were other kisses in the episode.  Maybe you noticed?  Callie and Erica.  Callie and Erica!!  My god, did we discuss this a lot around here.  Because Callie kisses a girl.   We had this really cool meeting with GLAAD where we talked about the idea that a woman could decide she had feelings for another woman after being perfectly happy with men and we all got joyous because the chemistry between Callie and Erica and Mark is hot and interesting and fresh and like nothing any of us had seen on TV before.  And we wanted it to be real – not some stunt to get people talking.  We wanted to see what would happen if a woman suddenly had feelings for another woman.  Because that has got to be surprising.  And it is for Callie who so likes men.  Who so likes sleeping with men.  You’ll be very surprised when you find out where this story is heading next season.  Because we don’t do things the easy way.  And none of this will be easy.  Not for Callie.  Not for Erica.  And not for Mark Sloan…

How much do I love Mark Sloan?  He’s a dirty pretty manwhore who ends up being a hero.  And I love him for it.   Not that he’s going to become a good guy.  He’s no white hat.  But for one moment, he did what he thought was the right thing.  Because if there’s one thing he understands, it’s getting turned on by someone.  And who is he to deny that?

Okay, there is more to say.  I have more to say.  About George and Lexie.  About Alex and Ava/Rebecca and Izzie.  About Bailey.  About the Chief.  About Rose.  And about Cristina.  Oh, do I have more to say.

But my fingers are tired.  From writing all the kissing.  So I’m going to end this now and post it.  But I will write more tomorrow.  I’ll finish what I started.  But right now, I’ve got to head into the writers’ room and pitch them the end of Season Five…

Thank you so much for watching the show.   Every single time you watch an episode, we are grateful.  You are all extraordinary.

GOOD MEDICINE...

Oh my God, WE ARE BACK!

We are.  Really.  SERIOUSLY.  Writers are writing away and we’re all very excited about getting back to our Mer and our Der and our Iz and our…well, our EVERYBODY. 

It has not been so fun to be away from our friends at Seattle Grace.  Remember when George walked the strike line?  It was kinda like that.  Only without the cuteness of George to make it fun.

But WE ARE BACK! 

Working to get episodes on the air for you!  Wha-hey!

Here’s the thing:  we have to write the episodes and the actors and crew have to shoot the episodes and the editors have to edit the episodes.  And it doesn’t matter how fast my beloved Bossy McBossy Rob Corn gets us to move, it’s still going to take some time.

Because my fingers only type at a certain speed.  And I have to say all the dialogue out loud to myself.  And ask McBossy weird questions.  Questions like, “McBossy, can you build a corn field over by the fake hospital and make it explode?”   Questions that cause him to furrow his brow and run from my office.  Plus, you remember that I need some time to lie on the floor and worry about the characters.  Which is why I try to drive Rob away with the questions.  So I have the lie-on-the-floor-and-worry time.

My point is, it’s going to take a while to get from my typing fingers to your TV screen.  Our first new episode will air at the end of April. 

What will you do until then to get your Grey’s on?   If only you could see the actors in person.  If only you could go see them on stage, in person, talking and laughing and yes, SINGING for charity…

YOU CAN!!!

For one night only, the casts of Grey’s Anatomy and Private Practice are coming together for a live performance!  An unforgettable evening of laughter and song to benefit crew members who were affected by the strike.

Because while the strike is over, it will be months before many crew members are back to work.  Millions of dollars in income were lost.  Many crew members are suffering.  And we want to do anything we can to help out.

So:

FOR ONE NIGHT ONLY, February 29, 2008 at UCLA’s Royce Hall in Los Angeles, CA we are presenting GOOD MEDICINE.  A little singing, a little funny, a lot of raising money. 

Come on out and join the casts of Grey’s Anatomy and Private Practice.  See TR KNIGHT SING!  Hear Tony Winners Audra MacDonald and Sara Ramirez!  See Katie and Kate!  See Ellen and Sandra!  SEE THEM ALL!  CAUSE THEY WANNA SEE YOU! And help raise some money to help others!

Tickets are $85.  You can buy them on Ticketmaster.com or call the UCLA Central Ticket Office at 310-825-2101.  Tickets are going to go fast and you don’t want to miss this one time event.

I hope to see you there!  I’ll be the one in the too-sparkly dress (I love sparkly to the point of tacky), looking pleased and proud of my kickass casts as they work to entertain you….

Shonda on the Season Premiere Episode "A Change Is Gonna Come"...

Original Airdate: 9-27-07

So…change.

Change is good.  Change is everything.

Change is also what’s in the stomach of that guy who can’t stop eating weird crap.

Welcome to Season Four.  SEASON FOUR.  I can’t believe we made it this far.  We’re proud to have made it this far.  Let me tell you, Season Three was not easy for anybody and we’re glad to have it behind us.  It’s all new dawn, new day over here and people are happy as freaking pie about it.

The interns are residents now, with interns of their own.  Except for George, poor George, who is stuck repeating his intern year.  He’s a repeater.  And it’s not easy being a repeater.  It pretty much sucks being a repeater.  He’s the only who hasn’t gone through any change when we begin the episode.  But by the end, he has.  He tells Izzie that he loves her too.  Which takes guts.  Because he knows what he is getting into.  He’s a married man, he’s a married man with a great wife, and he never intended to be a married man who loved another woman.  Man, is he in for some change.

I’ve been reading the boards.  I know how a lot of y’all feel about the George/Izzie of it all.  But stay tuned because it gets really interesting.  And funny.  And sad.  And I’m pretty sure what comes is unexpected.

Meredith and Derek are “broken up” by the end of this first episode.  But what does that really mean?  Especially when break up means break up sex?  Are they really apart?  Poor Meredith can’t quite deal with all that is expected of her in this relationship but they love each other, they really truly love each other and so…how much can they really be broken up?

I gotta say, I’m really rooting for the two of them to make it.  For Meredith to get her act together and learn to trust someone.  Someone other than Cristina.  Whom she honeymooned with. 

That was my favorite detail.  That Meredith and Cristina went on Cristina’s honeymoon together.  Because that is so exactly what my best friends and I would have done (my best friends are named Cristina and Debbie – they are my Cristina and Izzie) if I had been left at the altar by a spectacular heart surgeon on the day of my wedding.  We would have gone on that honeymoon and tried to have a good time.  We would have been fine.  Which is what Cristina is – fine.  Or she’s trying to be.  Fine.  But she’s not.  She’s not fine and we know she’s not fine because when she’s looking at the internally decapitated man and his family all together at the end, she’s devastated. 

Bailey.  I love her.  And I love that she’s not at ALL about to let the Chief off the hook for not making her Chief Resident.  After all, she’s BAILEY.  She’s worked hard, she’s been the best.  And isn’t it just like the Chief to decide what is best for her?  It’s his flaw, the Chief.  He’s an old school man and like an old school man, he’s taking care of his women.  Whether they like it or not.  Whether they want to be taken care of or not.  This isn’t gonna be an easy pill for Bailey to swallow…

But my most favorite thing about this episode?  Mark and Derek kinda making up.  That moment when Mark professes his “intentions” to Derek about why he came to Seattle is priceless.  And charming.  And a little bit sweet.   They were the very best of friends, these two.  They grew up together.  So it’s so true that they would go back to being friends in the absence of Addison…

Addison, by the way, is living her life over on Wednesday nights.  It’s a good life.  And I’m not saying you should check it out.  But…you should check it out.

Back to Seattle:  Lexie Grey is here now.  And she’s here to stay.  I love that she’s a bit of a dork.  Being a dork myself, I am fond of the girls with verbal diarrhea.  Because it’s not easy to keep all your words in – believe me.  It’s the reason I identify so much with Callie.  Poor Callie.  She’s got a lot of unpleasant stuff heading her way in the coming weeks.  Things she never imagined she would have to go through.  But the one thing she will never do is keep silent.

Okay, this blog was late and now, it’s short.  But that’s because I have to get back to writing scripts for the show…

Thank you for watching.  I mean that.  We mean that.  All of us over here at Grey’s mean it.  We’re staring at a new dawn, new day but that doesn’t mean we aren’t grateful to every single one of you for watching…

Stay Tuned...

Shonda's fingers are tired from writing so many episodes of television, but a blog will be coming henceforth and quite soon...

Shonda Rhimes on Burning Down The House...

Original airdate: 5/17/07

So the third season began with Meredith helping Izzie remove her prom dress and ended with Meredith helping Cristina get out of her wedding gown.  I don’t know if you’ve noticed but…I like a little symmetry.

This season was important to me.  It wasn’t as light as Season Two and for good reason – our characters were in a darker place.  I needed to put Meredith’s mother to rest, Izzie’s grief to rest, and the race for Chief to rest.  George needed to grow up on a monumental level and then come full circle to where he was when we first met him in the pilot.  Meredith had to finally try to face the fact that she’s damaged when it comes to relationships.  I wanted to put Bailey on the path of questioning her standing as The Chosen One.   Both Burke and Derek needed to hit a relationship wall, each in their own ways.  And then there’s Cristina…

Oh, the Cristina of it all.  What this season is about most of all – for all of our women – is  the idea of “having it all” is a myth.  And that was true for Cristina more than anyone.  Slowly, over the course of the season, we’ve watched as hard-nosed Yang sliced off little pieces of herself to accommodate Burke.  From helping Burke hide his tremor to Colin Marlowe telling her she’s not the woman he knew to prepping for the wedding, she slowly morphs from kickass surgeon-girl into a woman we don’t quite recognize in that wedding dress with penciled eyebrows.   I wanted you to have the feeling in the finale that she’s become this painted doll – beautiful, everyone’s fantasy bride, but a painted doll all the same.  No longer our Cristina.  There’s that wonderful moment where she begs Bailey to let her cut because a part of her knows she’s becoming someone she doesn’t recognize.  And then, just as she’s lost almost all of herself standing there in that gown ready to walk down the aisle, Burke is telling her that he can’t marry her.  Because even Burke realizes that this Cristina is not his Cristina.   It’s devastating.  I hope you noticed that in the beginning of the episode Cristina talks about a heart as a purely anatomical thing (“it pumps blood”) and then Burke’s vows are all about the heart as an emotional thing (“I promise to lay my heart in the palm of your hands”) and it’s so sad to realize that they have completely opposing views of the world.   I feel for Burke and you should too because he knows that, in a way, by leading, pushing, cajoling her down this path to being together, he’s done this to her – he’s changed her.  That the only way to save her from disappearing completely is to set her free.  And then in that wonderfully painful moment (how much do we love Sandra Oh and her incredible talent?) in the apartment, Cristina turns to Meredith and says “He’s gone.  I’m free.  Damn it.”  And it’s so nuanced and so layered and so tragic because she’s relieved and terrified and heartbroken and suffocated all at once.  Watching her journey back from this is going to be amazing next season.

George and Izzie and Callie:  you all have your opinions, very strong opinions, on how you feel about this love triangle.  I’m glad – strong opinions mean you care what happens.  In the finale, Izzie’s declaring herself and Callie’s fighting for her rightful territory.  That moment when Callie casually lets Izzie know that she’s not only been named Izzie’s boss but that she and George are trying to have a baby is very interesting.  Callie’s saying “don’t mess with me” in the only way she knows how.  About the baby thing – for the record, I am very strongly against anyone trying to have a baby to save a relationship.  It’s crazy because it never works and I highly recommend you don’t do it.  Plus it goes against every feminist bone in my body.  But it is also human to delude yourself into believing that you’re not having a baby to save your relationship, that instead having a baby is a way of taking your relationship to the next level.  And Callie gives that great speech about her hormones and her body.  I’ve been there and I know that it is real, this sudden baby rush that happens and, if you are firmly into your career, it freaks you out.  Callie’s just being as honest as she knows how to be with George.  Because she can’t bring up Izzie again – not when the last time she brought it up, George called Izzie a supermodel thereby suggesting that Callie was, well…not.

George is interesting is this episode.  Did you notice that after he looks at his test scores, his entire demeanor changes?  How he’s vulnerable in a way that we haven’t seen in a long time?   My favorite moments for him are in that scene with Bailey where he says he can’t repeat his intern year over again.  He just can’t.  And then when that girl in the locker room (Lexie Grey!  Lexie Grey!) asks if he has any advice, he says simply “No.”  I love that.  Because he doesn’t have any answers.  He thought he did and then he fails his intern exam and Izzie has to go and tell him she’s in love with him.  He has no idea what the future holds.  His whole future is one big question.

Alex and Ava.  My heart beats for them.  How amazing was Ava in those scenes?  And Alex…I’ve said before that Alex is Meredith’s mirror and I’m saying it again.  He’s too screwed up to give Ava a reason to stay because he doesn’t think he’s good enough.   And it’s no coincidence that this scene comes right before the MerDer scene where Derek is asking her, all pained and raw, to put him out of his misery and Meredith is WAY too screwed up to give him an answer.  They’re damaged people, Alex and Meredith.

What I love is that for Meredith, Cristina getting married has become this incredibly important thing – this sign – that maybe she and Derek can make it through.  That she can be healthy enough to let herself have this, have him.  She keeps saying to Cristina “you can do this” and she needs it to be true.  She needs it desperately.  Meredith, the girl with no family model for how a relationship works, looks to her best friend. So when Burke shuts the whole thing down, Meredith is almost as devastated as Cristina.  She does that long walk down the aisle, gets up in front of the wedding guests and tells them it’s over.  And she doesn’t just mean the wedding.  She means everything she hoped could be true.  She means the fairy tale.  She means the MerDer of it all.  It’s over.  It’s so over.  Because she no longer believes.

Bailey’s got a lot to contend with next year.  She thought she was going to be Chief Resident – she really believed it.  After all, the Chief spent the season practically anointing her with Chief Resident oil. But he also spent the season warning her.  Because from his own life, he knows what it is to get so caught up in a job that you neglect your family.  And he wouldn’t wish that on anyone.  That is a lesson Bailey’s not ready to learn – the fact that there may be a choice between family and career isn’t something this generation of women has been raised to believe.  It’s not something I’m ready to believe.  But, like I said, what the women start to see this season is that maybe they may not necessarily be able to have it all.  Because maybe having it all has a price.  Is it fair that Bailey has to pay this price?  Absolutely not.  But isn’t it ironic that Bailey’s got the strong family and (in her mind) a shaky career while Callie’s got the solid career and the shaky family life?

The Chief.  Aah, my Chief.  I love his full circle journey this season.  His wife starts out leaving him and now she’s come back.  And Derek hands him back the Chief job.  Which opens all sorts of possibilities.  Because if he’s going to do it all over again, how will he do it differently?  Is it possible for him to have it all?  Will he get Adele back if he chooses to stay Chief?  I love the wonderful moments with his wife, when they’ve lost the baby and he’s there for her.   For me, in the face of the supposed fairy tale playing out with Burke and Cristina, this is what real love is.  After years of mistakes and pain and problems, real love is two people standing together, choosing to be together, despite all that has gone wrong.  It is very grown-up, the Chief and Adele of it all. 

Derek.  Poor Derek.  He’s done his best to pull Meredith forward.  He’s done his best to be in this relationship and help her be in it too.  He has tried to be the best man.  But it wasn’t enough.  He can’t save her.  And so in that last moment, when he’s sitting with the Chief, and he tells the Chief that he can’t take the job, it is about so much more than just the job.  It is about his belief in himself.  I adore the moment in the locker room when he tells Mer that she’s the love of his life.  Mainly because Patrick says things like that better than anyone I’ve ever seen.  But also because he’s desperately trying to get through to her.  And when he says that he can’t leave her, he won’t leave her, because he can’t – it’s sad.  And she looks at him and just sort of…freaks out and and he pleads with that one word “Meredith”…it’s all so…the way he puts his head back as they leave the locker room…He can’t be more of a best man.  Where he’s going next season is going to be interesting to watch.

Last but not least are Addison and Mark.  We don’t see a lot of them in this episode.  And for good reason.  Their stories were done, finished, earlier.  For Addison, there’s a brand new future ahead over at Private Practice (Wednesday nights at 9 pm!).  For Mark, he starts fresh over at Grey’s next year.  Without Addison.  He’ll get to stand on his own and I think you’ll enjoy seeing it.

So that’s it.  That was our season.  I did my level best to burn it all down this season, to burn it to the ground so that we can have a place to build from next season.  Burning it down was hard.  But next season…oh, next season is all about the fun and the pain and the new beginnings.  Because our interns are going to become residents.  Because everyone is single again -- well, there is the little matter of Izzie and George and Callie…but still…

…the future is wide open, people.

Special thanks to Tony Phelan and Joan Rater for writing an excellent finale. And to Shoots With No Script for...well, shooting with a very long script.

Have a good summer.

Shonda Rhimes on "The Other Side of This Life"

Original airdate: 5/3/07

So I owe you an explanation.  For this episode (for these two episodes, I should say).  I owe you that.  You’ve stuck with me through Season Three and now you want answers, damn it!  You want an explanation.

You are preaching to the proverbial choir.  If you were a preacher and I was a choir.   Which…I’m not a choir cause I can’t sing but maybe you are actually a preacher and…rambling.  The point is, when I watch TV and things happen like the Scooby Gang raises Buffy out of her scary grave or Felicity goes back in time or they take their sweet time telling me what those numbers mean over on Lost...I get a little nutty.  I sometimes get irate.  Because these are my shows.  These are my people.  These are my FRIENDS THESE WRITERS ARE MESSING WITH.

I don’t say this lightly.  I am a hardcore TV watching fanatic.   I was deprived of it as a kid.  So now, as an adult, I am deep into it.   I dig my TV.   So when shows take leaps, I go a little out of my mind.

I go a little out of my mind, I shake my fist to the heavens, I tear at my hair and I ask the writing gods “WHY?!!!!” 

“WHHHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY?!!!!!!!”

I go all drama on my own ass and then I lie back down on the sofa and keep watching.   Mainly because I’m lazy and shaking one’s fist to the heavens is exhausting.  But also because I’m interested in seeing what happens next.  And because the writers have asked me to leap and so I’m gonna leap with them.

Also because, now?   Now I get it.  I so totally get it.  It’s freakin’ gotten.

Here’s what happened to me:

I was sitting in the editing room one day watching Mer and Burktina and the gang doing all the stuff they do.  I love the editing room – it’s like this cocoon where I’m alone with the characters (and the editor) and it’s where I get a lot of my ideas.  And for the first time ever since working on this show, I got an idea that was Grey’s Anatomy but…not Grey’s Anatomy.  It was something else.  It was Addison driving down the freeway with her hair blowing all over her face.  So I started writing it down, this not Grey’s Anatomy idea.  I started writing it down in secret because I knew Betsy and Shoots With No Script would very gently explain that I had lost my mind and then send in the guys with the strait jackets.  Because we are very busy here at Greys.  We don’t have time for non-Grey’s ideas.  We are a hard-working people.

Except I had this idea and it had already worked its way under my skin and I had to write it down.   Or else I’d get in one of those moods.  Things happen when I’m in those moods.  Things like Meredith drowning.  And I love Mer and wanted to keep her away from the water.  So I wrote it down.   And I gave it to the studio and the network.

It became something.  A script that was part-Grey’s, part something else.  And then it became news around town and suddenly my tiny little written down something was being paid a lot of attention by the outside world.  Next thing you know, they’re calling it a spinoff.

This episode, it’s NOT a spinoff.  It’s Addison going down to LA to complete the story we’ve been laying out for her for two seasons.  It’s the culmination of Meredith’s family story.  It’s Burktina and the wedding and Izzie, Callie and George and that hideous triangle they are stuck in.  It’s the beginning of the end of Season Three.

And I’m warning you now: the ride to the end of the season?  You may want to buckle up and store your luggage in the overhead compartment because this ride is gonna be bumpy.  I’ll explain more after the finale.  I’ll talk about where we are headed in Season Four.   Because I think Season Four is gonna rock.  The fun is back in Season Four.   But for right now, I guess I’ll just talk about the here and the now.  About what is right in front of us.

So.  Even though we took this detour down to Los Angeles, what I want to talk about is what happened in Seattle.  To Meredith.  To Cristina.  To Izzie.  Because things are not working out the way they planned.  George is leaving for Mercy West and Izzie feels responsible.  Cristina’s facing the fact that she’s going to have to compromise what she wants yet again for Burke.  And Meredith…well, Meredith is losing another mother.  Worse, she’s losing her father.  And even worse than that, she may be losing Derek.

But my favorite moment is Alex.  Who, when Ava asks him what happened to him that has made it so hard for him to connect, simply shrugs and says “Maybe I don’t remember.”  He remembers.  But he can’t face up to it.  Not yet.  Alex is the guy we know the least about and the one struggling the most.  And I kinda love him for it.  Because he wants to be a better guy – he’s just not sure he IS a better guy.

In this episode, our people in Seattle all hit a crossroads while our girl in Los Angeles finds a new road altogether.  I’m hoping you like the new road.  I’m hoping I get a chance to show you how good this road can be. 

But for now, the detour is over.  Now, we’ve got the last two episodes of this season to bring to you.  Where we are going might make you shake your fists to the heavens and scream.  But we are leaping.  So, if your sofa is comfy, maybe you could lie back down and leap with us?

Drowning on Dry Land...

Original airdate: 2/15/07

So, yeah, that was Denny and Dylan.

I’m trying to be all casual about it.

Like I don’t care.

Like, you know, Denny and Dylan, whatever…I’m cool, I’m good.

But I almost hugged Jeffrey Dean Morgan to death when he arrived on set.   He was nice about it considering the restraining order he should have taken out against me during Season Two.  I was glad to see him.  And I was glad to see Kyle Chandler who was gracious enough to fly out here and film on one of his very few days off from the very well-written Friday Night Lights. 

See, I miss Denny and Dylan.  A lot.   So it was nice to see them for a moment, wasn’t it?  Even if Meredith is dead?

You all have some pretty strong feelings about this.  I’ve been reading your comments.  STRONG feelings.  Which I respect.  Grey’s is in its third season and we’re doing something a little…different.  It’s about time we did.  Because, just as I said when you all shouted your horror about the Meredith/George sex, I remind you that we writers like to follow the characters here and we try very hard not to make story just to make story.  We like to have a point.  Meredith being dead is about…well, you will see what it is about next week.  She was in pain, this girl. And…

…okay, I don’t want to talk about that.  Meredith being dead at the end of this episode.  I can’t.  Not yet. 

What I want to talk about is the other interns.  Because they all take some truly interesting journeys.  Izzie and Alex especially.   Izzie’s is one my favorites.  I didn’t come up with the “rock star” line and I wasn’t standing on set when it was shot but that was one of my favorite Katie Heigl moments this season.   She’s good, that girl.  What I like about Izzie is that, right now, she’s fighting for George.  No one else agrees with her and she’s going about it all wrong but still…she truly believes her best friend is in trouble and she’s fighting to make him see it.  It may be none of her business but when do we stay out of the business of those that we love?  But I gotta admit, I adore Callie and in that moment, when Izzie tells George he made a mistake marrying Callie, I hate Izzie.  Just hate her.  But she’s a good person and she never holds her tongue and for that, I respect her.  But will George?

It’s interesting to see Alex dealing with this Jane Doe and her horrible, painful to watch face.  He’s got some growing to do, this guy and hopefully, we’ll see him begin to do that.  Plus, I love the moment when he tells Addison that he’d notice if she went missing. I don’t know that they are in any way right for one another but it was a kind thing to say to a woman he has heat with.  Cause, I don’t know if you noticed?  But Addison’s lonely these days and a little bit adrift.

The most interesting one to watch this episode is Derek.  I don’t know if you remember that in first season, he said to Meredith:  “You were like coming up for fresh air.  I was drowning and you saved me.”  It was good to be able to call that back (everything comes back around eventually on this show, I find) and to see what happens when Meredith is drowning.  He’s not Mer’s knight in shining whatever – he gets kicked out the trauma room where Richard and Bailey are working on her.   He’s forced to sit out in the hall, helpless.  And he’s seeing his worst nightmare come true.  Because he’s realizing:  Meredith has become so important to him and the prospect of losing her is terrifying.  Who is he if he isn’t the guy who rescues Mer?  Who is he when he can’t save a life?

Shoots With No Script was anxious about tonight.  Not in an obvious way.  In a Shoots With No Script kind of way.   All under the surface and mellow.  But I know he was.  ‘Cause I was anxious too.   We make these episodes and then we sit still, freaked out, and wait to see how it feels when it goes on the air.  It’s a little like having to speak in public and we never get used to it.  Because you all have a reaction.  And we care about that.

Also, because Shoots With No Script and I are both a teensy bit neurotic.  But you knew that…

-Shonda