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Mark Wilding on "Don't Deceive Me (Please Don't Go)"...

Original Airdate: 2-3-11

I've tried acting once in my life.  I managed to snag the lead role in my high school's production of "The Admirable Crichton."  I played an English butler who's treated very poorly by the upper class British family who employs him -- particularly by the family's three daughters.  Eventually the family gets stranded on a desert island.  The three daughters all fall in love with Crichton on the island because he's very take charge and very handy and saves everyone's lives (he's also VERY good-looking).  In the end Crichton has to decide whether or not to signal to a passing ship that the family is stranded.  The daughters beg him not to -- they love their new life AND him -- but Crichton does the right and proper thing and sends up the signal flares even though it means returning to his life as the family's dutiful butler.    

It's a great play and I got the role because I could do a passable English accent and I was tall.  It wasn't because I could actually ACT.  Because I couldn't.  I SUCKED.  I could never get over a case of stage fright.  My performance was wooden.  And I squinted the whole time because my drama teacher didn't want me to wear my glasses.  If I'd been in the audience I would've booed me off the stage.  Or at least asked for my money back.  Which is probably why, today, I really admire actors.  Acting is NOT easy.  It is hard.  We have a dozen wonderful actors on the show -- our regulars.  Week in and week out they bring Grey's to life in fun, surprising ways.  But a lot of times a story line will succeed or fail depending on our guest stars.  I was lucky enough to get FANTASTIC guest stars for this episode and I want to acknowledge each of them.    

The first great acting performance for my episode was turned in by Angela Paton.  She played Martha, the woman who came in to get a quadruple bypass.  She also played the hotel proprietor in "Groundhog Day".  She was wonderful in the episode, a perfect foil in the battle between Cristina and Jackson to do her heart grafts.  She went from funny in the first scene to heartbreaking in the pre-op scene where she wonders if she should go through with the heart surgery.  I love it when she got ANGRY at the thought of being a possible burden to her kids.  That wasn't written.  That was the actor really, truly bringing the words to life in a surprising, believable way.  As for the story itself -- when Cristina convinces Martha to have the operation, I think she's doing it from a place of real compassion.  She's not just doing it so she can perform a surgery she hasn't performed before.  In that sense, I think Cristina has grown since the shooting at the hospital.  She's a little more empathetic.  After all, she knows what it is to be really and truly scared now.     

Three more guest actors who were just plain excellent were L. Scott Caldwell, Harrison Page and Hugh Holub.  They played, respectively, Daniel's wife, Daniel, and Victoria's husband.  The scene where a confused, frightened Daniel is demanding to see Victoria required pitch perfect acting and Harrison delivered and then some.  All of the actors' performances combined to create an underlying sadness to the story that I was seeking from the first moment we started discussions about it in the writers' room.

I'm glad that the show is once again tackling Alzheimer's.  It's a theme that we always come back to.  The reason, of course, is that early onset Alzheimer's led to the premature death of Meredith's mother.  The question is will that genetic craps roll be passed on to Meredith?  Will she end up like Ellis?  It's what drives Meredith to get on the trial and, as Alex tells Derek in his very Alex way -- "Your wife is the only person twisted enough to handle this crap."  

The truth is -- in that annoyingly inconvenient thing called real life -- no cure has been found for Alzheimer's.  And as much as we'd like to find one in our show, that's not going to happen.  We're very strict about that on Grey's.  The show never outraces the real world when it comes to medical breakthroughs.  We report what's out there.  We turn medical cases and medical research into stories.  But if it hasn't happened in real life, if a cure hasn't been found, we don't say that it has.  That would be a huge disservice to our audience.  That said, the cool thing is that now Meredith and Derek are back working together on a trial.  And whether they find a cure or not, they're always great to watch.  

The main story line, of course, introduced a guest star who'll be coming back for future episodes.  Rachael Taylor plays Dr. Lucy Fields, who has to handle the "hormone casserole" that Callie's turned in to.  Lucy also has to navigate the treacherous waters of three doctors who think they know it all.  Rachael did a great job with the role.  She was equal parts tough, ironic and empathetic -- just what we pictured for the character.  As for our three doctors and a baby -- that story is huge.  It's tough enough to raise a kid when there are only one or two parents in the picture.  But three parents?  With everyone having different opinions??  Not fun.  These days we always hear that it takes a village.  But what if the folks in that village have never really liked each other?  Arizona is NOT Mark's biggest fan.  She's not going to suddenly think he's a great addition to the family.  Obviously the situation's going to involve a lot of sacrifices for all three of our doctors.  Sadly for Mark, the first thing he has to sacrifice is his relationship with Lexie.  Which makes it twice now that he's dropped the baby bombshell on her -- first with the grandson he wanted to raise and now with baby number two.  If any relationship were toast, it would definitely be Mark and Lexie's.  As much as we, the writers, would like to rescue it (they're SO good together) it may be beyond our powers.  

My final story line didn't involve guest stars.  The Chief's struggle with Twitter pretty much encapsulates how I approach technology.  I fear it.  And once you fear something, be it your neighbor's dog or your iMac or, yes, getting up on stage for the school play, the object of your fear knows it and it acts accordingly.  Which is to say, it comes after you.  It grabs you and shakes you and tries to maul you to death.  Thank God I have two teenage sons.  I constantly call them in to my office at home if I want to, say, forward an email or copy and paste a document.  They mutter to themselves, clearly disappointed in my techno-idiocy, then they click the mouse a couple of times and the impossible task is done.  For me, the cool thing about the story is that it launches Richard into the future.  But to do so, he has to, via Ellis's journals, go back to the past.  In a sense, the journals are his flares, alerting the medical community that they haven't heard the last of Richard Webber.  And believe me, as that story line heats up during the last half of our season, none of you will be wanting your money back...  



Grey's is getting its groove back! Looking forward to seeing how the season (and the series) wraps up!


Dear Shonda & co.,
I enjoyed this episode. I really did. But, I hate it that you and the writers always seem to be less cared about Mark/Lexie compared to the other main couples in GA.

And, what do u mean by their r/ship is toast and even the writers can't rescue it??? Seriously, Mark/Lexie are the reason I watch this show and to watch them break up again and again is tiring.

Shonda did say in one of her interviews that there's wrench and also happiness in their r/ship. I am hoping that there's happiness coming soon for Slexie after this break-up.


yeaaaaaaah for the epi
yeah to der finally realizing mer has to be on the trial
yeaaaaah for cris OMG i love love love the good old yang groooooves
and chief he is such a frekaing delight to watch whenever he goes all excited over Ellis the lil kid in him surfaces
and felt so frekaing bad for lexi so damn damn bad
over all damn good epi vast improvement from last one
thank u for no teddy henry today phew
but having said all of that i wld still say I WANT MORE MERDERRRRR hahahaha can't have enough of them ever they are the ones that make the show for me

Ana M.


As usual, good episode. I really enjoyed it.

Just to get it out of the way: the baby story...just doesn't cut it. I know what you're trying to come across but it just doesn't as a great story. I applauded Lexie for running away. I really don't like the story. It makes Callie look selfish, Mark a complete tool, and Arizona as a desperate lover. It doesn't do any good to any characters. It doesn't always take a village. These two couples already have baggage to deal with. Why not try that for a change?

As for the rest, the rest was good. I like that MerDer will be working together again. I wish there had been more of a discussion about it but I guess that'll have to do. I love the subtle but meaningful moment at the end.

I always love Mark and Derek scenes but, we need more (or longer) scenes with them. Derek is the only one Mark can expect the ugly truth and a little snark and frankly, Derek might be the one to lay out the cold true facts of what's happening. I think that more of these two can do a lot more good than let's say April, Jackson, or Teddy opening their mouth.

Lots of love for Rachel Taylor. She's really cool.

Oh, and the Chief/Bailey/Twitter situation...my parents and me. Made me laugh. Thanks for that.


I love Callie. Even pregnant, hormone-casserole Callie. And I LOVE that her and Mark are having a “mighty oak”.
I just hope that the fact that Mark is Daddy doesn’t get ignored, because tonight’s ep seemed to focus more on the Arizona side - and I get that because the girls are getting back together. I just don’t want Mark to miss out or be relegated to “Cool Uncle Mark“. That’s just … no.

Also, Cristina Yang is freakin’ fabulous! And I like spunky-Lexie.

(note to Mark Wilding: Mark has a grandSON, not granddaughter :) )


Mark Wilding, you may not be a good actor, but you sure as hell know how to write!!! When i watched this episode, I knew it was one of my all time favorites. I love the baby storyline and how Callie and Arizona got back together in the end of the episode, it was so invigorating and powerful. And you wrote the breakup scene between Mark and Lexie perfectly. It was heartbreaking. This new era of Grey's Anatomy is amazing so far and I hope the rest of the season is just as amazing. Tell the Grey's cast and crew to keep up the great work.


oh and that scene where Cristina was fake crying...
best/funniest scene ever!!!


I love this episode! The dialogue was entertaining as always. I cracked up when Arizona said "sing it" after Dr. Fields instructed Callie to rest and "no intercourse." Cristina is definitely back with her A-game. Oh, and the Chief looking up Bailey's teets. LMAO! Mr. Wilding, great episode and Kevin McKidd did an awesome job directing it.


Can I say that I love your writing? As a hardcore Callie/Arizona fan, I love the way you develop their story. You convey so much in a few lines. It is simply brilliant. And I have to mention Teddy's line about Mark: "Oh good Lord, he got to you too!" That was wickedly funny! You write the characters in a way that jumps out. Meredith's little grunt at Derek was brilliant. Lexie's rebuttal of Mark's announcement was heartbreaking but empowering. Shonda said they will be back together, please, please, do not go back on this. Now, to my less enthusiastic remarks: although I understand the significance of the trials, I find that storyline to be a little flat in that it just lacks the energy we are used to see in SGMW. And, what is going on with Jackson? He is turning into a complete douche. He is not likable at all. He's awkward and whiny. But can I say that Dr. Lucy Fields is a perfect fit for SG. The attendings could use an infusion of young blood. And she's obviously a bit of an ob wiz kid. She stood up to Mark and was very empathetic to Callie and found the baby's heartbeat. That's Seattle Grace. Going the extra mile. I know there are already way too many characters in the show so how about you pull Jackson back and keep Dr. Fields around. She really fits and brings a new kind of energy to the show, especially now that most of the characters are settling down into grown up life.


After the last episode, this one is a breath of fresh air for the most part. I honestly thought the Alzheimer's trial would be boring but I actually found them to be the most compelling stories of the episode. I also loved seeing the fully fleshed out Cristina--the one who would fake cry to get a surgery, but would also help a patient with her fears before surgery. I even enjoyed the twitter story line.

The only story line that fell flat was the baby story line. Funny that you referred to it as the main story line because it felt like a background story that was almost out of place. Callie came off as annoying and selfish, Arizona seemed a little schizophrenic in her ability to process information as fast as a computer, and Mark seemed even more immature than usual. I feel like I'm being set up to watch Three Fools and a Baby, and that's not a good feeling. I'm hoping that the contrivance of this story line has a reasonable less contrived set up for future ones because so far the story feels rushed and predictable rather than organic (Although I'll admit the acting by SaRa and JCap was brilliant). Rachel Taylor was also awesome as the OBGYN.

As for directing, KMK rocked it.


I love that Mark and Callie are having a baby together. I like them together and I think they'll be good parents.


This episode is funny but with depth to it. I agree that Cristina is coming from a world where she knows now how to relate and be sensitive to her patient. She's not the robot Cristina from before. But I like that she still has her mean streak. Jackson & Cristina are very funny in every scene. Also the chief being on board on the whole twitter thing. It's cute to see the chief being excited and all. And my heart goes to Mark... Does this mean there will be no Mark & Lexie anymore? The price you have to pay... Its nice though that Callie & Arizona are together but as the writers would say, this won't be an easy road for them. At least they're doing this as a couple. So ill be happy for now. :D


So disappointed about Mark/Lexie. It wouldn't be so bad except that after they broke up last season, it's kind of kept going for the end of last season and the first half of this one. Even when Lexie was sleeping with Alex there was all this stuff b/w her and Mark, and way, way more so this season. They get all the way back together, she says I love you, they get to be together for like two episodes and then, this. WHY tease us like that, pretty much every episode for a year, if they were never going to make it? I'm sad. I love them together.


Lexie and Mark :'(
Arizona & Callie :)
I love that Cristina is back and I agree that she has grown, and her and Mer's frienship
is made of win.
I love shirtless Mark, but I have to say Eric Dane is a terrible actor, but I forgive him cos he's gorgeous!
Oh and I love the Teddy and Arizona frienship!
KMK did a great job directing :D

oh by the way you people are making me fall in love with that baby, watching Arizona fall in love with the baby made me fall for it so you better not let anything happen to it!


Disapointed to know that mark and lexie are considered toast. Lexie finally realizes she can't keep avoiding how she feels for mark and when they finally get their second chance their not given time to enjoy it. Like taking a kid to a toy store, let him walk around, and then just leave without buying anything. It's heartbreaking. If they would have had more time to form a stronger relationship, lexie would be stronger to not walk away.

I support four doctors and a baby.


Oh and jackson shouldn't say "as if".. it was weird


I don't know if there is another blog or site where I can comment on this, so can I just add to my previous comment that Sara Ramirez just, wow, I mean, she acts the heck out of her scenes. She is brilliant. And JCap is quite impressive as well. Emotional scenes cannot be easy to play and they both rocked their scenes. They are beginning to look really comfortable with each other and it makes them all that much more compelling. And BTW, Callie's line about the baby coming out all 'Sloany' is hilarious! How do you come up with that stuff! And your blog is one of the best. So thank you and thanks to the cast and crew for an excellent job...Oh, and to our beloved evil genius, Shonda..


if u can show izi living after fourth stage metastatic melanoma why cant u show Der finding a cure for Alz?
Damn it dont tell me Mer is going to end up with Alz i don't know a part of me feels that it can call for a very very beautiful story line what with Der trying every day each day of his life to make her remember him and them and thei love and Mer at the end of each day actually remembering and knowing him I have so many visions abt this you know how Der would set up their first meeting again and make he go back into time how even if Mer doesn't remembers he wld fall in love with this new Mer and she wld fall in love with him all over again how he wld just go on holding on to her knowing somewhere amidst all the crap she is still in there somewhere
I know there isn't any cure for Alz but I feel Derek's love would save Mer from oblivion I feel even Ellis would have survived if she had Richard to hold on too but coz Richard wasn't there she didn't had anything to fight for anything to hope for Had Richard been there she would have fought Sometimes where science ends medice ends hope and love are the things that make miracles happen and I believe MerDer's love has that power it has that power to make miracle happen and so even if Mer ends up with Alz their love would rescue her somehow anyhow her knight in shining whatever will rescue her it would be heart breaking YES but at the same time it would also be so beautiful that nothing nothing could sum it up Don''t know whether u guys r going there but if u are u have to make LOVE win I don't want to see a dead forgone Mer and a broken Derek I did not invest so man years of my life and so much of my emotions on this show this couple only to see their this dismal a fate it would break me it would take away hope form my own life So even if you are going down that road make their LOVE win coz when nothing seem possible somehow impossibl against all ods and logic LOVE surfaces and makes it all possible LOVE IS MAGIC ITS MIRACLE and MerDer's love have that magical potion thy have stood the test of time they can stand ANYTHING ANY DAMNED THING


Thanks for letting us know Mark/Lexie are toast. I can now stop wasting time watching this show.


I loved this episode. It had everything I love about Grey's. I laughed, I cried, I empathized and cheered. That Mer and Der are working on the trial is the only way it could work. That Alex had to walk away because he was too sentimental showed his amazing growth.
I LOVE the baby storyline. Both Mark and Callie have been wanting a baby that neither of their partners was willing to give them. How fitting that they created one together. They are the second best couple on the show even if it is a friendship. Their chemistry is amazing. SO happy that Mexie is no more, although, I have a feeling they will be back together again...hoping it's not because the pregnancy goes badly as Callie fears. If Lexie truly loves Mark she would love him in spite of the flaws and be willing to move forward even in the face of something she fears - kids...like Arizona. Loved sympathetic Christina. She has grown a lot this year and gave really sound advice that was more for the patient than to benefit herself. Lastly, Bailey's "teets" and the addition of Twitter to the show will be very interesting. I look forward to seeing the chief get his groove back. THANK YOU for another great Thursday!!!


Are you giving a spoiler than: Are Lexie/Mark permanently finished or toast as you say?


Sorry, I don't watch Grey's for after school special "it takes a village" stories, nor do I care to be forced to ship a threesome against my will.

This let's do a threesome and get Callie pregnant with Marks child story line, now repackage and spun as a 'it takes a village' story, is trite.
Its turned Callie into a self centered bully, and the lesbian lover has gotten absolutely no point of view, let alone back story - ever!

This story is honestly beneath the talents of JCap and Sara, who are obviously busting a gut trying to retrofit their characters (and I do mean retrofit because these characters are so out of character they are unrecognizable to me) to make this bile palatable.

Callie has shown no ability to put boundaries on Mark, even at the expense of her lover, uses him for sex, a shower buddy, and a sounding board, is having his child - but marriage is a line she can't cross with him? Really? Seems she has crossed every other line with him.

Callie had three episodes to process Arizona returning, and was allowed to vent her anger on Az at will, but Az specifically asks to get heard and couldn't get two lines in, before callie was again walking all over her and handing her "in or out" ultimatums. She shows Az no respect, so quite frankly it’s hard to understand why these two want to be together let alone MFEO. As shown in fact, they are NOT MFEO! No couple portrayed so one sided can survive, and no couple contorted as these two have been without even so much as a modicum of counter weight in intimate time is believable, no matter how many times Shonda tweets MFEO to bait an audience desperate to see themselves on the tube.

Previous this show had Mark knock up Addison, and her terminate the pregnancy because it wasn't Ders child. Yet here Mark knocks up Callie and Az is given no consideration. Moral: Two men nope can't have one disrespected, or two dads, but two women, no problem, let's make a threesome and have the lesbian butt heads/make her into a 'mark/man hater' Is it suppose to be great drama to place her at odds with the hospital whore over a seat at her own table? I'm sorry but I see nothing here but a vile and cheap cliché that perpetuates stereotypes both staight, lesbian and bi, being played out at the expense of minority groups. If you want to explore the bi persona this tired cliché isn't the way to go about it. But then what can we expect from writers who think "teet" jokes are made for prime time drama.


I liked the Callie/Arizona/Mark scenes. I'm glad Callie/Arizona are back together. I loved their first and last scene. (Was there a reason Callie & Arizona were like 3 yards apart when they were kissing in that last shot? That looked awkward.)

Chyler Leigh owned that last scene. She did really, really, really awesome with the line about being in that situation twice.

So then, I was all excited because I was like, "Okay, how are they going to work through this." And then I read your blog and well, now I'm really grumpy.

I hope it's some sort of ploy, so that when they do work it out, it's more of a shock.

I've read comments before where people are like, "I'm done with this show!!!" And I'll just say I totally understand that feeling.


I loved this episode.. it may me laughed and cried ..I love the scene between Mere and Cristina when Mere went to the resident's locker room to comfort only to find out Cristina was faking it. That smile Mere had when it dawned on her Cristina was just playing Jackson was priceless. Her person is back..I was finally on board with the baby thing i don't like at first but i can do.....I'm so pleased Arizona and Callie finally had the "we're in this together no matter what" conversation......Oh man...poor Mexie fans i now how it feel be a Calzona fan..and all


AGAIN just one freaking minute of MerDer???? After a three week long lull thats all we get?? And every other couple on the show gets what? Thee to four scenes per epi and MerDer?? WHAT THE HELL this is like really pissing the hell out of me Whats your problem with MerDer and their fans just frekaing what? Believe it or not accept it or not many many many people out there are just tuning in week after week only and only to see this beautiful couple which touched our lives so long away and with each passing day they have just kept on growing on us I really don't know what you guys are up to but if you guys think that giving them less screen time would help you pave the way for a GA without PD and EP then you can forget it You seriously can forget it coz the only reason why many many people are still tuning in is coz PD and EP still pretty much are a part of the show So stop fooling yourselves and stop fooling us
Shonda always keeps saying that live in the now live in the present So why are you guys worrying about what will happen after Season Eight? Why are you guys deliberately cutting down MerDer time from this point itself I mean heck its still season seven They still have thirty to thirty five od epis to go so why just frekaing why waste the beautiful beautiful power house of talent you have got in the name of PD and EP?? And if you are so hell bent in doing that then Damn you I dare you to come out in open and just say it so that once and for all we would accept the reality and just freaking move on
Guys plz plz I beg you give us more MerDer when you still have a chance plz If you are so confident that GA can go on without them then save all the other SLs for after when they leave but at least till the time they are give us the magic that got us all hooked so badly so obssesively that inspite of all the mess the show created we still find it impossible to leave it and move on We cant I CAN'T not at least till MerDer are there
plz for god's sake give us MerDer
and after having said all that I would want to thank you for this epi I couldn't care less bout Callie but Arizona Robins grew on me today I never noticed her before today NEVER but today I respect that woman I totally do And my heart went out for Lexie
But the most beautiful thing which completely blew me over was the Mer Cris scene i don't know if any one even noticed this but when Cris left Mer smiled OMG she smiled and that smile took my breath away it was like Mer was smiling thanking god that her Cristina her soul mate HER PERSON is finally fully BACK She was so happy just seeing her old nasty surgery stealer twisted sister back in her original skin again
And the Mer and Alex scene where she is talking abt Ellis WOW now words for that one just no words
Does Meredith Grey even realize how just how much she loved and still loves her mommy?
And omg finally finally the first ever Derek Mark scene of the season Oh man how could you all manage to run half a season without their bromance? MORE McDreamy mcSteamy PLEASE
and finally the very last scene I guess I don't need to say much about it Mer's beyond happiness blissful totally elated seventh heavenly smile said it all and I loved what she said in the voice over then "that the truth had been right infront of you all along" and i felt here by "truth" she meant Derek and his love and her love and their love. Beautiful it was beautiful but plz plz plz for heaven's sake more MerDer Just give me one real long MerDer scene and I won't complaint for umm lets say a week ? HaHa a girl can hold out only for that long u see "wink"

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