Original Airdate: 2-24-11
Ms. Debbie Allen directed my episode. Ms. Debbie Allen. I have been fortunate to work with a lot of incredibly talented people in my life, and some quite famous, but lord in heaven... Ms. Debbie Allen! I was interested in show business at a young age. Theatre mostly -- enough that I spell it theatre instead of theater, which only means I was pretentious as a 13 year old. In any event, I saw the movie "Fame" when I was impressionable, and Ms. Debbie Allen's infamous line is forever emblazoned in my mind. So we're trying to have a production meeting and she's asking me a question, and I'm kind of zoned out cause here's what's running in my head: "You want fame? Well fame costs. And right here's where you start paying. In sweat." Over and over and over again. So not only am I star-struck, but I'm acting like a moron, cause I can't answer a simple question, cause I didn't really hear it, all I heard was... you get the idea. That, and I have no idea what to call her. I can't call her Debbie. That's too disrespectful. To call her Ms. Debbie Allen seems a bit much, even though every time I think of her, that's what I think -- never Debbie -- never Ms. Allen. Ms. Debbie Allen. So I end up not calling her anything. "Hey! Hi!" That kind of thing. So it ends up sounding like I've forgotten her name. Add to that the fact that what we're talking about is... Kyle's bump. Poor little Kyle, not only is his mom drifting away, her brain riddled with Alzheimer's, he has a bump on his neck. There was much debate about Kyle's bump. If the bump is too big, the parents look not just distracted, but horribly irresponsible -- not what we're going for. If the bump is too small, how will Meredith see it? She is, after all, a little compromised in the vision department. If it's too big, how will we NOT see it in the first scene, where we don't want to see it? Should he wear a jacket? A scarf? Maybe he goes to private school and wears a dorky uniform, with a coat and tie, and in the first scene, tie's on, and in the second scene, he LOOSENS the tie, revealing the medium sized bump. But what if the dorky uniform is too dorky? The poor kid has to sing "I Walk the Line" to his mother, we should preserve whatever cool he's got left. We had easily five separate conversations about the bump. Meetings. About the bump. And here I am thinking "I'm WASTING Ms. Debbie Allen's time, her talent, I shouldn't be giving her a kid with a bump, I should change the character to a child who dances. A dance prodigy! And he distracts his mother from her creeping dementia by DANCING! A subtle combination of ballet and modern dance and krump!" (Krump -- a word I know because I watch "So You Think You Can Dance" -- a show on which Ms. Debbie Allen is a guest judge!) I've reworked the character in my head -- in the middle of the production meeting. It is WAY too late to change the character to a dance prodigy. The role has been cast, with an adorable young man who can SING. Not dance. He was hired for his ability to sing Johnny Cash to his mother. Not for his krumping. But there I am, imagining the radical number Ms. Debbie Allen will choreograph for my episode, and I've missed yet ANOTHER question she's asking me. I'm giving her the blank silence again. Cause I have no idea what she said. AGAIN. She's trying to hard to move the conversation off the bump. And she can't. Because she can't get me to answer the simplest question. I assume it was simple. I have no idea. I didn't hear it. So now, Ms. Debbie Allen thinks I have Asperger's. And we're still on the bump. I can't tell you anything about the episode. I can't remember anything about the episode. All I know is Ms. Debbie Allen directed it.