Krista Vernoff on "With You I'm Born Again"...

 

Original Airdate: 9-23-10

My favorite scene in this episode is the Chief dancing it out in his office. 

I just love it. I love Jim Pickens and I love what I know to be true – that life, even in its darkest hours, has moments of great joy, great lightness.  

While my Dad lay in the hospital dying, I cried harder than I ever have before or since. But I laughed harder too. Darkness requires light.  And the human spirit will always find its way to the surface. 

Rebirth. That was the theme of this episode.  How do you recover from the worst day of your life? How do you go on?  

I know a little something about rebirth because a little more than a year ago, I made the excruciating decision to leave my marriage.  In the early years of Grey’s Anatomy, I waxed poetic on this blog about my marriage – I was a newlywed with all the love and hope and joy that that entails. And then things changed. This year was the darkest and hardest of my life. There were days that Shonda Rhimes was my life raft and there were days when even she couldn’t hold me up… (In case you were wondering? The non-judgemental loyalty that Cristina and Meredith give each other? Where they let each other be as dark and twisty as they want to be and they never ever judge? That’s Shonda. She’s the friend you call to help you bury the body.) 

Recently, I came through the darkness. Emerged from the tunnel. Remembered what unadulterated joy feels like.  Came out, into the light…  And last night I was looking at pictures from this past year, and in some of them, I barely recognize myself. In some of them, I look like the saddest person I’ve ever seen, even though I’m smiling.  And that’s what I tried to put into this episode. All of that.  

I can’t relate to people who’ve survived a shooting. I’ve never experienced the kind of trauma our characters went through.   But I can relate to the concept of Rebirth. I can relate to the idea that in life, stuff happens that we never could have imagined and that somehow, unimaginably, we survive.  

Our people survived, but they will never be the same. 

The highs will be higher. The lows will be lower. Life will be sweeter. Love will be, as Callie might put it, even more awesome. 

I love the Chief dancing. I love the look on Owen's face when Cristina says, "I do." I love that out of darkness comes light. And I also know that sometimes when we think it’s as dark as it could possibly get, it gets darker before the light comes in…

I know some of you are going to hate on me for writing about me and not our characters but the thing is, I am our characters and so are you.   And the other thing is, I can’t say much more about our characters without spoiling stuff that’s coming up. Because we are still telling this story. Traumas aren’t over a month later. Derek still doesn’t even know about Meredith’s miscarriage, for God’s sake! There’s more story here. A lot more. So tune in next week. And kiss all the people you love in the meantime.  

 

Comments

[Carol]

Krista
I thought it was a solid effort. I loved Meredith, Derek, Christina and the originals. What I didn't like was April.

I hate to focus on that, but I was so disappointed that she had so much screentime. She is absolutely hands down the worst character. She is so annoying. So grating. She literally ruins every scene for me. I am just begging you writers to get rid of her.

And, for the love of god, stop trying to make us love her. We don't. If you've noticed, every comment on forums and message board talk about serious April hatred. She is completely useless. So, I'm taking up my blog space here to say, please, please, please get rid of April. And, if you won't get rid of her, please stuff her in a closet so we don't have to see her. And, don't waste her scenes with Meredith and Derek. Give her Lexie so I can fast forward through them.

I may not be able to continue this season because of her. She is bringing me down in a major, major way.

[McMedstudent]

So excited for this season! Sometimes, something so profoundly life changing happens, and we live our lives the best we can, but inside, there is a techtonic shift in the fundamentals of who we are. On the surface, no one can tell that deep down, it is a struggle to just wake up and go to work in the morning. This is why I believe that what you say is true. These characters ARE us, and we don't have to go through a shooting per se to realize what it means to survive the darkest. So I thank you because this episode puts a crack through that darkness and somehow makes me feel better. I wish I could be simple like Christina wishes...(Loving Lexie in this ep btw...)

[Bella]

I don't know how the writers could have brought us back to the show we love any other way.

So, while I'm disappointed that the blog didn't offer more of an insight into what I just saw, I can wait and see it all unfold.

I love these characters; I trust that they'll find their way back to normality (if that's even an option for some of these folks).

I'll keep tuning in.

[lisa]

I loved this episode as i love all of your episodes!! krista, as a greys connoisseur and a co shipper this episode made me smile. Could i have used more co-well of course, but i could watch them endlessly. the proposal and the wedding filled my heart and i continue to smile <3 thank you!!

[Megan C.]

i loved it

[Jenny]

Okay episode. Too many characters though. I love Meredith and Derek. They make the show for me, but could we please have less of April. Was it my imagination or was she all over the place. Ugh. Less April please.
Glad you finally toned Teddy down. That was an improvement. Loved the chief's dancing. Loved Derek speeding and the surgery. Can't wait for the miscarriage talk. By the way, didn't you say there was a heartfelt mer/der scene. Where was it? I didn't see anything.

[Colleen]

Great eppy. Loved the Chief dancing also, and really loved the end with Cristina/Owen marrying. Perfect way to start the season. Can't wait to see what is in store for mer/der and Cristina/Owen.

[Sabrina S.]

I have to say that I was so excited for this premiere. Unfortunately, I was disappointed. Cristina and Owen only had two scenes in this, the proposal which was awful timing and a wedding in which Cristina did NOT smile. I don't understand why you would do this to Cristina and Owen fans unless you plan to give them a proper wedding with absolute bliss in the future.

Also, Meredith leaving Derek in jail and making him miss the wedding seems immature. It's a one in a lifetime opportunity, and she had no idea that Owen wouldn't freak out about losing Derek. Though it was funny that all Owen cared about was the ring.

Please don't take the surgeon out of Cristina. She has not been allowed to be truly happy for more than a few episodes. Let her shine!

[nohamaster]

i liked the episode and it was a quick very filled with actions happening but i am worried about the change in Dereks charachter i really hope he won't mess things with meredith because of that change and that April:( love the chiefs dance loved lexie and alex over....but still missing Izzy!

[karsyn]

Season 7 looks amazing!Mer and Cristina MORE PLEASE with a dash of Alex, Callie, Mark and Lexie. Cristina and Owen had a perfect wedding for them-so perfect.

[Angela]

Krista, I can relate. My life shattered when my father died, and I came out of it a difference person.

Great show tonight. Love adorably nervous Owen, and Cristina getting the wedding of her choice with her soulmate.

[Lisa]

Absoutely loved this episode, it was heart wrenching and heart touching.

Chief dancing it out was one of my favorite scenes too!

The whole episode portrayed how the SF changed everyone. Can't wait to see the how much in the next epis.

Shaken Bailey was difficult to watch too.

After watching the proposal a few times I warmed up to it. At first I wanted more, but then realized it was so Cris/Owen. Simple and caring. Cristina needed Owen's promise to be there forever in that moment. As someone that has gone through a trauma that is really needed and will help Cristina when she decides to face the trauma head on. Loved how Cristina thanked Owen because that is what she needed at that time. I always love when Owen and Cristina hug, you can see how much they care about each other in a simple hug - priceless.

Loved the Meredith/Cristina moment! Was also happy to see a little of the old Cristina when she responded to Mer - "I know" LOL
So happy that Meredith gave Cristina her blessing. Cristina was beaming when Mer tells her "owen is perfect".

Loved how Cristina and Owen couldnt keep their eyes off each other and she came down the stairs. So much love. Always loved how these two can communicate with just their eyes, so lovely.

Loved Cristina and Owen holding hands down the aisle.

The wedding was perfect. I know their is some major PTSD for Cristina to deal with but I hope Meredith's and Owen's love will be able to help her through it.

[Karen]

SQUEEEEELLLLLL love Owen and Cristina!

[Lauren J.]

I so related to Bailey in this episode, because I recently went through a trauma. Not nearly as big as this, but just as impacting. My sister tried to commit suicide, and it broke me. I'm being held together with tape and glue, and I don't know if I can handle anyone who is also broken, and I don't think that someone whose whole should have to deal with me. Its hard to watch something that is so much my life right now, but its also so encouraging. So thank you.

[Lisa]

So glad you wrote this episode Krista. And I am so sorry that you lost your Dad. Thank you for the beautiful scenes featuring Cristina, and especially for the Cristina and Owen scenes. That "simple girl" moment was fantastic. As a Cristina-Owen fan, I am thrilled that you are exploring the idea of C/O working through Cristina's (and Owen's) PTSD together. This will be worth watching. Again, my thanks to you and Shonda.

[Jennifer]

OMG what an awesome episode! And the topping on the cake was the C/O wedding. So much hope and love even though you know all the characters have such a tough road ahead of them. My favorite part is the smile on Owen's face after Cristina says I do. Just perfect. And you can see the "rebirth" in Cristina in that moment too. I know her struggle to get her mojo back is going to be difficult but please have Owen and her love for Owen be something that will help her heal.

[Lil]

I was looking forward to this episode and really wanted to like it, but I can't.

I loved the Chief's return, and all the Mer/Cris scenes. But I watch mainly for Alex, and again, he's either getting crapped all over or ignored completely.

I cannot stand Lexi; couldn't stand her before, but detest her more now. And there's no reason, none, to dump on Alex so that Lexi can be propped up. Surely an original character whose shown so much growth over the past few seasons deserves better then to be time warped back to season 2?

Hate, hate, hate this, and if it's a hint of how the season will go for Alex, please just say so, so that I can stop watching now.

This was so disappointing and SO not worth watching. I can't even enjoy Mer/ Cris now, since they have stories while Alex just gets shoved into the background again and again and again. Is he seriously the ONLY character in the current cast of thousands that the Greys' writers hate? Because that's the impression I got tonight: that nothing will ever change for him.

This could have been a solid season opener. I was very interested to see how things would pick up for these characters. But if the "rebirth" doesn't include some forward movement for Alex, that basically kills whatever interest I have in the show. Such a disappointing way to being the season.

[Juliet]

Owen and Cristina got married. I can't believe that really happened. Love them so much!

[Gumbi]

I loved this episode. It was a nice set up where all the characters stand after the traumatic SF.

Still wished there was no Teddy or April to suck up airtime, just a waste.

- I loved watching Chief dance it out - hilarious

- Derek and his adrenaline rush was realistic for someone that lived through such an ordeal

- Meredith leaving Derek at the jail, was quite funny. I am looking forward to next epi and hope she tells him about the miscarriage.

- The proposal was what Cristina needed in that moment to reassure she is not alone. Her other love "surgery" failed her and she needed to know Owen wasn't going anywhere.

- Loved Meredith and Cristina's banter before the wedding - "...your beautiful" - " I know" :)

- Also loved the fact that Meredith told Cristina that Owen was perfect for her. Also loved the fact that Cristina wasn't hesitant about the wedding at all. Again it was what she needed, she needs her other love "Owen" since the desire of her 1st love "surgery" has been traumatized.

- Totally loved that Cristina and Owen couldn't keep their eyes off each other as they came down the stairs.

- Also loved that Meredith was the one that gave Cristina away, was very fitting.

- The wedding was simple and beautiful. Wished we could have heard the vows but Cristina saying I do was very significant

Of course, I wanted more but I felt it was a good starting point to the new season. Can't wait for the next epi, looks sad but very good.

[Michael Lemon]

This episode was simply amazing. The writing the brilliant, you made me cry when Bailey broke up with Ben for now. Everything about it was perfect. Thank you. I will never stop watching this show. Grey's anatomy Season 7 is back full throttle!! :) I am so happy right now! So thank you everyone who works for Grey's!

[famous artist]

Glad you made it to the other side. But now I carry these wounded friends around with me. I didn't have to do that over the summer, some how. But now I do.

I liked the Chief dancing, too. But I really loved Lexie in all her glories tonight. I loved her telling truth to Alex. I wonder what will happen to make him seem nice Again.

[Erica]

Watching Cristina break was heartbreaking and it looks like it is going to get even worse next week :(

Cristina and Owen love each other despite the trauma they experienced in the SF. Even though the timing is bad and a lot more obstacles lie ahead, these two have what it takes to battle thru the difficult times as a couple. I can't wait to see this with the supreme acting of Sandra Oh and Kevin McKidd.

[Brea]

Wow. Absolutely lived the episode! Can't wait to watch this season unfold!
Congratulations on emerging from the tunnel.

[Shannon]

Krista--

I'm a little in love with you for writing this episode. Hope that's okay. :)

You possess the gift of hearing. Your ear for dialog is remarkable. You write truth in the voice of the characters without ever being precious. It's honest and organic and meaningful and the way we really speak out the changes of our lives. You are the rare combination of quotable and authentic.

I appreciate all of the characters and the moments of insight into each but, as a lesbian, I feel the greatest need to express my gratitude for your continued portrayal of Callie and Arizona as two people in love simply trying to navigate relationship building within a hostile world the same as every other single heterosexual couple out there. I cannot fully express the meaning and the impact of your writing of their relationship. I thank you.

The finale was a tough act to follow but, wow, you did an amazing job.

Thank you so very much!

Best,
Shannon

[Anna]

There were many things I liked... The Chief dancing it out, Cristina and Mer talking about perfection was a great moment. Mer leaving Derek arrested? Awesome! Bailey being Bailey and giving people charts was amazing!
But, well, Derek waking up to Kepner? Kepner assisting Derek? Kepner everywhere all the time???
Don't like watching Kepner's Anatomy. Not at all.
Why is Kepner even alive, for God's sake?? Wasted a great chance last season...
Oh, and I'll wait another 2 episodes before I start complaining about the ridiculous screen time MerDer get...