Debora Cahn on "Push"...

Original Airdate: 3-11-10

Dating.  Dating is a lot of things.  Fun.  Exhilarating.  Exciting.  Breathtaking.  

No.  

Occasionally, maybe.  But usually it’s miserable.  It’s a freakshow.  A slog.  Punishment for killing children in a past life, perhaps.  It sucks.  Your heart, your hopes, your dreams, all projected onto some hapless wretch on the other side of the table, who’s using the drink menu to pick his teeth.  I remember thinking maybe I could type up a little cheat sheet, with answers to the questions I’d already answered 800 times… “One brother, one sister.”  “Connecticut.”  “Scorpio.”  But no.  You can’t short circuit the process.  You just gotta go through it.

Dating is best left to the young.  The young and the optimistic, who can ride their optimism through the countless dinners at Italian restaurants required to zero in on a life partner.  Unfortunately, the young ain’t the ones doing it anymore.  Grown men and women, people who waved goodbye to their twenties long ago, are dating.  They’re divorced.  Or they wanted to focus on their careers before they worried about marriage and family.  They’re grown ups, and they’re sitting in Italian restaurants across the land, talking about their childhoods, and their rock climbing, and how they wish they had more time to cook.  

Mark Sloan.  Miranda Bailey.  These are not people who ever thought they’d have to have the conversation over pasta.  Bailey married young.  Dating for her was milkshakes in high school.  Movies.  Bowling.  And Mark… well, we know what it was for Mark.  It was a lot of women, over a lot of years, and it was, shall we say, aerobic.  So all this crap about getting to know each other, and figuring out how to get close to a perfect stranger is baffling.  Bailey’s forgotten all the rules.  Mark never knew them in the first place.  It’s a nightmare.  

Now, if you have to date, you should date Jason George.  He’s the amazing and terribly hot actor who plays Ben, and the fact is, while I have great sympathy for grown women who have to start dating after years of marriage, it’s not easy to muster up all that much sympathy for Bailey when she’s dating freaking Jason George.  But I try.  And Mark, well, him I really do feel sorry for, because this isn’t his thing.  He’s a ragingly confident man.  But he’s never had to play this game.  He’s never trolled for a wife before, he’s trolled for… you know… but not for the mother of his children.  And yet he goes for it.  He tries.  He’s so earnest.  And so nervous.  And nobody believes him.  Teddy can’t imagine that he’s someone you take seriously.  So nothing makes me happier than seeing him, at the end of the episode, just melt her with talk of an aggressively unromantic lunch date.  He grows.  He wins.  And he deserves to.  Bailey?  She wins too.  Jason George is cooking her dinner.  And kissing her.  That’s the definition of a win win situation.  I guess that’s the moral of the story.  Dating sucks, but if you can survive it, sometimes nice things happen after.  

Did you notice in the credits that Chandra Wilson directed this episode?  Miranda Bailey on-screen, and the director off-screen.  She’s a freaking rock star.  Literally, because she sings like god’s trying to prove something.  But also because she acts and directs all at the same time – the woman directed her own on-screen kiss.  She’s incredible.  There’s nothing, NOTHING, she can’t do.  It’s intimidating, is the fact of the matter.

I want to talk about Callie for a minute, and how lovely it is that she’s suddenly the one who has her act together.  She’s the grown up.  She’s not the freak, sleeping in the basement and getting her heart slammed.  She’s the authority.  Mark wants her help.  Bailey wants her advice.  And she’s good at it.  It’s lovely.  For the three seconds before Arizona tells her that they don’t have the same vision of the future.  But until then… it’s so nice.  I’m so happy for her.  She’s suddenly at peace in her own skin.

Now Richard… less so.  It’s going to take some time, for Richard, and for Derek, to find peace in their new roles.  Derek’s such a good guy, such a stand-up guy, but why on earth did he think it was a good idea to oust the Chief, take over his job, and then hire him to work as an underling?  You can take the Chief out of the office, but you can’t take the… you know.  The Chief’s still the Chief.  He’s not gonna unlearn everything he knew.  And Derek… he’s just learning the ropes.  He kind of sucks at it.  Anyone would, in the first year.  Or first five.  It’s gonna be a long road.  

That’s the problem.  Surgeons are achievers.  Over-achievers.  And they’re used to being successful.  But you can’t win at every game, no matter who you are.  Seeing them wander outside their comfort zones… it’s so very painful.  But the beauty is, they try.  They push.  They attack.  Comfortable or not.  Confident or not.  They push.  And slowly… slowly… they grow.  

Comments

[Lisa]

This episode was very good and Richard/Owen competition mad me laugh.

But why oh why are you still having the embers burn in the Cristina/Owen/Teddy triangle. As someone that absolutely fell in love with Owen and Crisitna/Owen last season, you really are destroying the magic of this couple and the Owen character! Only so much people can handle, enough of the "Owen has feelings for Teddy"! Owen loves Cristina, so enough with the Teddy thing! Loved Meredith's speech but hate the ambiquity of Owen's feelings. Cristina/Owen's lovestory/PTSD story had such a huge fan following and you are diminishing that little by little with each episode that shows this stupid "love triangel" still lingering. It just makes me sad, cause you had a "magical" and "extra special" thing and you are deliberately destroying even when fans and critics have screamed out about it over and over again! Next episode with Owen's flashbacks looks very exciting but if it is all about Owen's feelings about Teddy - that diminishing fanbase will continue. Just from the promos, it looks like KMK and SO will be hitting this one out of the park but Teddy put into the mix as anything more than a friend will be awful and ruin all the brilliant stuff. Hope we see Cristina being there for Owen. I think most would try to warm up to the Teddy character if you would just STOP the madness and keep Owen and Teddy as platonic friends only. Teddy and Mark actually seem to work well off each other, so hopefully it will go that route.

Was excited about the Ben and Bailey hook up but their kiss had no chemistry at all! The foreplay talk was very cute, but no raw sizzling chemistry.

I did love that Meredith was there to protect Cristina and let Owen know she has her back.

[Coach0412]

I have to say that I loved everything about this episode EXCEPT Teddy and the speech about loving someone more and Owen's implied jealousy. Please end this triangle. Great writing talent is being wasted on it!! Eventually, fans will stop pleading and simply just stop watching. The triangle is ruining the relationship that revived the show (in my opinion).

[Jen]

Throwing hands up! Do you writers not hear the cries of millions of fans... we do not want to see Owen jealous of Teddy and destroying the magic of the CO relationship! Every week more and more fans leave Cristina/Owen forums cause the are so over this stupid triangle story.

[Mari, from Brazil]

Dear Debora, sorry, it’d not personal. But I hated this episode as I hated the one before and some others in this Season. Please, this was not a bad episode at all.

But I’m a GA fan since the beginning. I have all 5 seasons DVDs, I don’t miss a show. Or I didn’t miss a show until last one. Last one I simply forgot about. Only watched on Saturday. Why? Because the truth is there’s no more Grey in Grey’s Anatomy. I mean, no Meredith Grey. And no Meredith with Derek. They are the main couple of the show. The ones who dragged most of the fans. Because they are married they don’t love each other anymore? Because they a happy together we can’t see hot scenes, kissing scenes, or any scene at all? I’ve been married for 20 years and believe me, love doesn’t end.

I understand the absent of Ellen during her maternity leave and I thanks her for not leaving us without her. But I don’t understand why they can’t start and/or end a day in bed, loving each other, talking to each other. Derek is the chief now. Meredith can’t help? They can’t talk about what he did right or wrong? What’s the problem? They are one of the most loved couple in TV. Why don’t use them? I don’t get.

Meredith and Derek are vanishing in the show like George in season 5. I still miss George. But I’m a Meredith and Derek’s fan, I stay because of them. I’m sorry but I’m so frustrated right now. I don’t expect the new episodes excited I used to be. And that’s sad for me. Really sad. I can watch older episodes over and over again. I really can’t watch the new ones more than once or twice.

If there’s no story for Meredith and Derek please, make them move to another place to start a new life and end the Grey’s show, like Monica and Chandler in Friends. Start a new one. With the remains characters. Like many fans, I promise I’ll watch like I watch Private Practice cause I like Addison.

But I’m not sure I’ll love as I loved Meredith and Derek’s GA. But that’s life.

[Kiki]

A really funny episode with lots of great lines and fun scenes, but why did you have to muck it up by trying to convince us that Owen is jealous? Enough already with this incessant triangle. It's like beating a dead horse. ;)

[Gee]

LOVED IT!!!!Especially Bailey and Mark!!!!

[stephphilly]

I liked this eppy.

Marks speech to Teddy was cool and real mature. I am almost hoping they work out.

I wonder what Callie is going to do since she wants children and how it will affect their relationship.

I think the chief and Derrick will both be able to have a better appreciation of the others job.

There is no way in the world that little grey in her right mind would go to the FLOOR of a HOSPITAL BATHROOM. I am sorry that Mark is moving on, but she needs to know what does she really want too.

I'm glad that Bailey got her groove back!!! She does lecture everyone. when she speaks it is like a lecture and i am happy he kinda set it straight.

[Sophie]

It was sad for me, this episode was sad for me. I couldn't even enjoy the incredible humor that was so carefully injected into tonight's episode, I couldn't.

You know, people tune into shows for different reasons, a number of them, Mark and Lexie are my reason. So am I a little mad that Mark and Lexie are not getting the chance to even fight for each other? Yeah, I'm a little angry. They haven't even had a conversation, let alone one that talks about where they really are in their lives, what they want or don't want. They go from kidding about marriage, to moving in together, to-what? Complete strangers who don't even interact anymore? I can't wrap my head around that.

And now the old age card is now be played again? Age didn't stop them from getting together. Age didn't stop them from falling in love. Okay, maybe Lexie's not ready to have a family now, but Mark hasn't even talked to her about that, he's just assuming things. I get Lexie didn't want to have an 18yr old daughter and a grandchild to look after, but I don't think that means she doesn't want to have a family with Mark someday.

I mean look at Meredith. Meredith doesn't want to have kids yet, does that stop Derek from staying with her? No. So why does it have to hinder Mark and Lexie? And I'm certainly sure it won't hinder Callie and Arizona, though I see what you're trying to attempt.

So yeah, I feel a little betrayed, like we got jipped, like we drew the short end of the stick. I get the angst, I get the drama, but at this point, there's barely any hope to hang onto. With other couples at least they got the chance to fix things before they moved on, but I feel like with Mark and Lexie it's all being swept under the rug ( at least right now). No big deal that these two were in a serious relationship, no big deal at all.

With each new episode it's getting harder for me to watch, it's like watching a trainwreck though, you just can't look away. But I don't want to have to feel like that while watching Grey's, you shouldn't feel like that about any show. Because if you do, maybe it's just not worth it anymore. But I want it to be worth it, I want the angst, the sadness, the heartbreak to be all for something--a lesson that life isn't anything without the person you truly love.

And one last thing, we couldn't even get a sisterly hug in? Shucks.

[Anna]

Cristina was freaking hilarious last night! I love the friendly competition.

I'm confused however about one storyline, I'm supposed to believe Mark and Teddy are the new thing now? I'm laughing on the inside. Mark is a desperate man right now. His only mission in life at this point is to find someone to bear his children. Essentially, he's just going to settle now for second best now? When he could have everything, someday, with Lexie...he's just going to settle? I feel for the man, but come on, Teddy? Lexie's where it's at!

[Ad']

Great episode, but come on...Arizona not wanting kids, really?! I hope it's not gonna be a major issue between her and Callie! I love them together!

[Doris]

What about Mer and Der? I love this season, its been very well done but what about the heart of the show? The mature relationship between the two is great, BUT SHOW US. Can we get a Mer Der episode PLEASE

[B McDaniel]

Love, love, LOVE Chandra Wilson! I think I am her biggest fan. Well done Chandra, and hope to see lots more of you in the future.

[ugh]

Mark and TEDDY? GROSS. There's really no getting around the fact that he belongs with Lexie, and I'm not watching until they get back together.

[Iris]

The writers have many chances to make things clear and simple, they could've let Owen say "I am sure." When Cris asked him, they could've let Owen shut up about his stupid feeling for Teddy in that exam room, they could've let him just hold the "you can't unring the bell" line back and they could've not made Owen being protective or whatever of ... See MoreTeddy, when there was a a guy ask her out. They didn't do any of these. Because they tend to mess the freaking triangle things up, with ruining the character of Owen.

Don't say that Owen is still well loved by fans like he used to be in season 5, because we all know that is not true. So, who to blame? Clearly it is not poor KMK, we should all blame the writers, but will they listern? No. This show is dying, and it is not coming back anytime soon.

I can't bring myself to care about Owen that much anymore, because seriously it takes me forever to see Owen has done something actually good to Cristina. People are saying Owen is being over protective of Cris, and he is jealous type, has he being protective of Cris? Has he been jealous of Cris, since they got together? Remind me any scene can prove this, because I haven't seen any of these has happened on my screen. So now, he is protective of his dear friend and being jealous/or not for his best friend? Sorry, can't accept this crap.

[Lori C]

This episode was great - until they effectively killed Callie and Arizona. I get it, I do, but come ON, can we only have one happy couple at a time? Do we have to sacrifice Callie on the alter of Meredith and Shepherd? boo! hiss!

[PJ]

Well, Deborah if the writers don't know why Derek reported Richard, then we are in trouble. Let's not forget that the Board authorized him to offer Richard the job. Would you want a drunk walking about the Hospital and doing Surgery, me neither. I think Derek is to young to be Chief, we need him back in Scrubs operating, Richard needs to get off his high horse and see that this was the best for him for him and get his job as Chief back. Please repair their relationship they have a lot of years invested together.

[yahoo]

Last night's episode rocked with great lines...especially about Bailey's surgical field!! I couldn't believe I was hearing what American girls/women (and men) needed to hear!! And the dinner scene dialog... great! And the zinger from Webber to Yang, and Torres' advice to Bailey ... one of the best episodes ever. Directing? Thanks for telling the actors to stop talking in chopped paragraphs... they start to all sound the same after a while.

[orangeena2]

So many good things about this episode - indeed, Chandra Wilson seemingly can do it all and the insecurity, the comedy you wrote for her tonight was excellent.

I'm really pulling for Teddy to find her place at SG/MW and with the fans - with a desperatly-trying-to grow-up-Mark seems a good path.

Jim Pickens is really bringin' it in Richard's new role - one of Grey's hallmarks is character growth and his is among the most compelling.

Mer/Christina - still the best relationship you have going. Keep it working!

Calzona - the punch in the gut we all knew was coming, just not what or why. Gotta have drama, understand AZ likes to be in control and nothing humbles you or shows how little control you have like parenting, so we clearly see the wheres and whys of her feelings. Still, after months of fans wishing to see more of Calzona beyond sexy time and AZ rescue time - it seemed almost heartless and even contrived to see a whole season's worth of "we're great and special, happy and fulfilled together" crammed into a couple of scenes, to have a first confirmation of their seemingly mutual plans for a life together, and then within 60 seconds to be hit with major conflict.

Thank you for sharing your writing thoughts- the challenges of weaving storylines for this cast of strong characters and actors can only be seen as daunting. In spite of the screaming about Mer/Der and Izzie and Mercy West newbies,etc., there are many, many, many fans who have loved and appreciated the growth and new directions of Season 6.

[Danielle]

Thanks so much for posting your thoughts. I appreciate all the writers insights. U guys are awesome for taking the cristism good or bad. U guys rock.
With that being said here are my 2 cents.

I do think Mark and Bailey were over doing it a lil. Mark knows he's a catch Lexie taught him that. Ladies want him now for more than 1 thing. Come on Mark, u go from way overly confident to having none at all? Please!!

Bailey Girl that's ur clinic, why cant you get ur own condoms. Girl, goodnite!!! U give speeches, ur the Nazi!! Loved her standing her ground about her surgical field. Right Bailey real woman embrace "nature" . Awesome.

Loving the new Mature Mer. Ppl change and grow up stop hating ppl. She's married Mer the worls is not so glum. I like happy Mer, she funny and protective of her ppl.

Loved Cris pushing Owen to fight for the case and the Cheif calling him Ginger. Owen where's ur backbone? Ur an Army man, the "SO!" man, the passionate man. Cristina is not havin that, u shalt not be a push over even if it is the old Chief.

Cris was on Fire w/ the punchlines and Jackson was so cute w/ his PSA.

Whole epi was excellent, keep it coming, Im a fan for life!!

[Mina]

I trully enjoyed this episode. It was breezy, funny, and had good cases for the doctors to draw from. As a loyal follower, I wish you guys were consistent in your work. One hood episode after 2 so so does not cut it now. This is your oportunity. The recession is forcing people stay at home and watch tv more. But the viewer is also knowledgeable and decisive. If you provide with credible And consistent storylines, we will watch.

[Hilary]

Last night's episode was absolutely fabulous. Thank you for returning to the light-hearted banter and storylines that made Greys a sensation. No need to hit everyone over the head with intensity and sadness for each episode.
I had forgotten how funny and entertaining this show can be -- until last night's episode. Love all the romantic storylines. Great work.

[Courtney]

Loved most of this episode...

- Loved Bailey and Ben, but was surprised that there wasn't much fireworks in their kiss!?!

- Callie and Arizona were hillarious as matchmakers but concerned that they disagree about children

- Cristina/Owen/Meredith/Richard ruckus was hillarious. Loved Meredith put Owen in his place about Cristina even though I think she totally misread Owen's reactions about T, I think he was concern as a friend.

- Suprisingly, I liked Sloan/Teddy. Just please move this forward and get pass this Owen thing because it is dreadful. And leaving ambuquity about how Owen felt about Mark asking Teddy out is ridiculous! He obviously loves Cristina, SO PLEASE STOP THIS TRIANGLE GARBAGE! All it is doing is making people (and most TV reviewers) hate Teddy, discrediting the Owen that we respect and love in S5 and destroying the magic of Cristina/Owen's Love story. As one critic said, if you are goimg to have Teddy hookup with Owen get it over with so we can get over this painful to watch interaction and just totally give up lovin Cristina/Owen. As much as I love Cristina/Owen and want them to fight through life's troubles together, I am getting fed up the Teddy interaction and would rather it just end and keep the WONDERFUL S5 memories. Replaying all those S5 "Magical" scenes between C/O will keep me content and remind of the most epic couple ever written. Except 6x1, 6x2, 6x13, I rarely rewatch epis from S6. That is sad cause you had such a goldmine in "Cristina and Owen". Two very complex characters, plenty of scenarios (including the PTSD) to cause angst but keep the integrity/magic of their relationship. 6x18 looks good and am excited, but seriously if the lines are still hazy about Owen's love and devotion is to, I will be done with this storyline and show for good.

[Brenda]

I think that this episode opened up so much thinking in my brain.

It's generally sitting around the Callie/Arizona relationship because I'm wondering exactly where the kids/no kids want will lead.

It's a very real obstacle in some relationships and I keep wondering if Arizona's wants are centered around the fear of what she's seen happen to parents in the PEDS unit. They fight with each other, they don't listen to one another, they break down a parental team into what did YOU do to the child.

I also feel like there is a great chance to elaborate on the off-handed comment that Arizona made to Alex about loving the hospital when she was little. Why was she there so much as a child? Was there a sick sibling? Did that tear her parents apart? Was she herself sick....

I like when questions are raised about characters in episodes and bringing up the question/discussion that you can love children, but you don't necessarily need one of your own.

[Ashley]

Want to keep believing in COs S5 magic and you but I am so tired of defending Owen's character & his love for Cristina. Obvious the end game is Owen/Teddy otherwise you wouldn't be still dragging it out with the jealousy and the longing looks - UGHHH. Just do it so I can be done like many others : ( I think I am going to cry now

[trey]

Actually, minority here, obviously, but I think that it's awesome that you're having a grown up Mer. And, that she's got her groove. I like seeing her happy. She's not so whiny, and I actually like her this season, LOL

Re: Mark & Teddy...you know, they look hot together!

Like Owen and Christina. They are hot together, and it's natural for him to have feelings for a friend and be a bit jealous. As long as he doesn't act on them, and can face them. I'm excited for next weeks episode.

And, Bailey is awesome. It's good to see her happy (and with a hottie). She's so relate-able!

Good episode. I'm excited for more!!!