William Harper on "St. Valentine's Day Massacre"...

Original Airdate: 2-11-10

Valentine’s Day! A time for romance, roses, candy, candlelit dinners, roof collapses and heart-shaped boxes of chocolates stolen from comatose patients.  

I know.  The romance can get a little dark and twisty around Seattle Grace.  It’s never going to be candlelight and roses.  Derek can’t get three blocks on a date with his wife without being paged back for a mass casualty.   But honestly, that was the fun of writing this episode; finding all the ways of illuminating romance.  

There’s the tale of unrequited love between Emile and Mrs. Banks, for one.  And Meredith and Alex get sucked in like it’s a chick flick.  Will he?  Won’t he?  Will she?  I think the romance is not just in Emile’s unrequited pining, but in the warmth and comfort that Mrs. Banks has found in decades of marriage to her husband.  I think everything she says to Meredith is true.  Finding the right person, being with them, knowing them so well – and being known -- is romantic.  That’s what Meredith has signed up for, on that post-it note.  But it’s still a scary proposition.  And with the new pressures Derek is facing as Chief, Meredith’s suddenly faced with the question of how she’s reinvented herself in this marriage.  Will it limit her going after her passion, the thing that makes her HER?  And she’s faced with deciding how much she’ll commit to the role, how she’ll allow herself to be defined by it.  In the end, she learns that a marriage, like life, is a constant reinvention.  You choose, over and over again to adapt to each other and with each other, always being clear on what you will and won’t give up to accommodate the other.   Change, adaptation, is what keeps a marriage stable in an unstable world.  

What I love about this story is that, even separately, Derek and Meredith are going through the same struggle.   Being Chief apparently means denying himself his passion – surgery -- as he’s kept from the O.R. all night for a series of more mundane administrative tasks.  I think Derek’s scene in the scrub room with April may be my favorite example of reinvention in the episode, because, to me, it’s the point when Derek becomes the Chief he would want to be, bringing all his compassion and experience to lead and teach.  Despite that, this transition to Chief isn’t going to be easy, professionally or personally.  In the end, they’ll face the struggle together.  Move forward, find a new shape.  That in itself is pretty romantic.  

You know what else is romantic?  The First Date. There’s nothing quite like the crazy, flustered anticipation of the First Date, right?  And how awesome is it that it’s Bailey’s?  It’s sort of shocking how coolly and cruelly Bailey shuts Ben down when he asks her out.  And delightful when we realize its because this nice, attractive, eligible man just dismantles poor Miranda Bailey.  And in the true spirit of Valentine’s Day, Arizona decides to play Cupid and get the ball rolling.  And despite Bailey wanting to KILL her, it works, she gets it together to cough out an acceptance to dinner.  It’s about time Bailey gets to cut loose.  As Lexie says, change is a good thing.   And in this episode, everyone is reinventing themselves.  

Two reinventions I particularly like, because they’re so different, are Lexie’s and Mark’s.  Lexie’s is blatant, and sudden and shocking:  NEW HAIR.  I shaved my head once.  I’m not endorsing this.  But I’d always wanted to know what I’d look like with my hair very VERY short, and I wondered aloud about it one night and my wife said “Let’s do it RIGHT NOW!” and in minutes, clippers were buzzing, clumps of hair were flying, and even halfway through cutting it, she and I both could tell...this was a terrible idea.  Turns out, my head has a shape that is flattered by hair.  Without it, I look like an overturned mixing bowl. “It’ll grow back, ” my wife said, supportively.  And it’s true.  It did.  But that’s essentially what Jackson is saying to Lexie:  New hair is a safe change, because it’s just gonna grow back.  Lexie’s not really committed.  She didn’t do something bold and permanent, like a neck tattoo (I’m not endorsing this, either).  She made the safe change. She’s made a change that’s only skin deep, and temporary. And Jackson calls her on it.  (I love that Jackson reveals this by admitting he was treated as the pretty, dumb one.  And had to reinvent himself).  

But for Lexie, the hair color is different.  For one thing, she looks very good as a blonde  (unlike, say, me with a buzz cut).   And for Lexie, it’s an undeniable step forward – a new look can free you up, can release you to act like someone you’re not.  Or, in her case, act like the person you’ve been hiding inside.  Which might be kind of a badass.  I think keeping the new hair is a first step in Lexie’s transformation, and I can’t wait to see where it goes from here. 

The other reinvention – Mark’s – I love because it’s building over time.  It culminates when he steps up to adopt his newborn grandchild.  In an instant. In a blurt.  He’s wanted a child since we met him – Addison’s --  but he’s spent the time since then maturing -- from man-whore to monogamist, to responsible father to Sloan, then committing to adopt and raise a newborn baby -- to the point where we really want one for him:  He’s grown up a lot.   

Teddy (And Owen) are trying to do maybe the most difficult reinvention of all: to go backward.  What I love about her speech to Owen in the scrub room, is that, not only is it an act of forcing him to acknowledge their friendship, but that we learn so much in that speech about the level of camaraderie and intimacy they shared as friends in the Army.  They apparently talked about everything.  That’s a very difficult thing to give up, and she just flat out refuses to do it.  Can they go back to the way things were?  She and Owen both admit it’s hard to do.  Life moves forward, not backward.   

And so do we.  Next week’s episode, in fact, will give you a glimpse of a Seattle Grace you’ve never seen before, and some stories of our doctors that you never knew happened, even if you’ve been watching from the beginning.  It’s an exhilarating, funny and really moving episode.  So see you back here, then. 

Thanks for reading, and thanks for watching!  

Comments

[Priya]

Loved Loved LOVED watching Callie & Mark together! Those two are golden!

[Kiki]

I love your blog - very thoughtful and well written.

Loving Bailey and the GasMan. I like seeing her vulnerable and he's a good match for her.

So glad Teddy is trying to move forward, but did you really have to go the bikini wax route? Are we really supposed to believe that Teddy and Owen chatted about bikini waxes while trying to save injured soldiers in Iraq? Come on, you could have found something more believable to show the depth of their friendship. I've been married 10 yrs and not once have I had an extended waxing discussion with my husband. And just where would Teddy get a wax in the middle of a war zone. I know you guys love Teddy for being a half-full kind of gal, but I'm still not getting what's likeable about her.

[Aya]

Not liking the Mark storyline...he's becoming an unlikeable character. And, what are you guys doing to sweet innocent Lexie? This episode sucks!

[Serena]

This episode was amazing! I seriously loved everything about it! Emile and mrs Banks story nearly had me in tears, and I loved the fact that Meredith related to it, and how this whole episode was about change and reinventing yourself. Great writing! Great acting, and I'm seriously so excited for next weeks. I don't care what anybody else says, this season so far is one of my favorites.

[Andrea]

Oh my god, it was perfect. It was really great. I just stared off for a few minutes thinking about it....haha. I'm glad we got more Sara Ramirez this episode, she's really amazing, a joy to watch, her character is just so...magnetic, you wanna be her best friend. Derek and Meredith's interaction this episode was really beautiful. It may sound cheesy but Meredith coming to these realizations and growing up emotionally and the epiphany of making the choice every day was just so beautiful and satisfying to finally see. I love how Sandra can make you laugh with like less than a minute of screen time. I know sometimes we viewers jump the gun on calling you all out on screen time and everything, given you have such a big and talented cast, we have our favorites, but this episode was such a great hmm whats the word...actor/screen time ratio. Other than more sandra anyway. You all are doing a great job maintaining the balance of characters. It really rocked, left me happy.

[Hek]

Alex and Lexie don't go. No chemistry like Alex and Izzie

[Anne]

Well not the most romantic episode but a good one. Geez not even a kiss for Meredith and Derek. Lots of eye talk in the car at the end but a kiss would have been really nice.

Yes I got the subtle points of romance in this episode but call me crazy - I'd like more kissing and maybe a cuddle in bed. Closet sex for Alex and Lexie does not count.

Hearbreaking to watch Callie talk to Mark and he realize that he won't have his grandchild. He didn't get to raise his daughter and she decided he wouldn't raise his grandson. Felt for Mark in this one.

I agree though the conflict for Derek came through well - chief and his passion of surgery. I think he may be realizing that he doesn't really want to be chief (more PR than surgery) in the long run. This could be a good test for him. Stay with your passion. I was very touched with his talk with the young surgeon after surgery. He is a good teacher and using his example was a good choice.

Glad Meredith realizes that Derek needs her support as chief and showing up now and then won't kill her but her billing must change! Dr Grey not Mrs Shepherd. But I do think he got a kick out of that none the less. He knows her and doesn't want to change her. Nice to see them growing as a couple.

[Lisa]

Thank you Bill for this episode.

I haven't enjoyed Grey's in a while (a very long while, actually). It felt good to back to focusing on Derek, Meredith, Alex, Mark, Callie..

Maybe I loved it because it was a break from the O/C filled episodes lately. And it felt normal again.

Love LOVE love Alex and Meredith scenes. I love their friendship. Even when neither of them is bright and shiny, there is no bad influence, and is oh so fun to watch. Love them when they have funny scenes and dramatic too. My favorite friendship in the show.

Well, there's also Mark and Derek. Love their bromance. And how bittersweet is that scene of them on the gallery? Congratulating each other on parenthood and job success. Looking forward on how they will deal with their dissapointment.

Even when I'm not a big fan of Sloan, it only serves to give Mark a storyline so I'll give Shonda the pass just because she tried. Glad she's gone, and now we'll get to see Mark suffering the consequences of not being a dad twice. Oh! The scene with the Sloan nose? Adorable! Can you tell that I love Mark and felt incredible sad for him tonight? Eric did great job in this episode.

After watching both Mer and Derek acknowledge they choose surgery over love two episodes ago, I was glad that Meredith is coming to terms to the compromise she made to Derek. Even if it's a fake one. (Best line of the night: "You're just saying that cause you think you're married"). Derek is very acommodating to Mer (no pressure, frat house, no ring, no wedding, no marriage, no kids, friends first, and the list goes on and on), so this time is her turn to give. Because being in an adult relationship is that. And is beautiful to watch her show up at the breakfast (even when the promo pictures and the promo gave it away ;)). Go Mer and Der!

I'd like to comment on more things, but I've already say a lot, and not in a lot of order I may say. But I also enjoyed Lexie and Jackson.

Highlights of the episode: Mer and Der. And that scene at the end with Callie and Mark, sad but great to watch.

[PamelaJ]

I can't give a lot of detail, but I really just liked the ep.
Thanks :-)

Oh, and Lexie as a blond - that I don't like.

[Jessica F]

As much as some of this was sort of sad. I loved a lot of it. And Mark Sloan almost weeping when he realizes that Sloan is gone, and his chance to be a dad was gone with her.....well that was brilliant.

well done you.

[Natalie]

OMG Noooooooooo why did you make Alex sleep with Lexie AGAIN!?!?! This is not a one-night stand anymore, and they weren't even drunk so I can't excuse it this time! UGH. Seeing that scene made me wish Izzie was back. At least just resolve that issue properly instead of making Alex cheat on Izzie again (they are STILL married even though he supposedly "broke up" with her because he can't just "break up" with his wife). I really wonder how you all are going to write in Izzie's return again... Looking forward to watching that though, and hoping not to be disappointed!

Other than that, great episode. Meredith/Derek was great. I loved Lexie as a blonde (it was weird at first but I got used to it). And I liked that we got to know more about Jackson (the "pretty" one - HAHA!) and Teddy (the best friend thing kinda reminds me of George and Izzie's friendship actually). Also that Mark is maturing (about time), and that Bailey is getting some love interest (teehee). :)

April coming back was quite interesting too. I'm warming up to Jackson's and April's characters (but not to Reed or Charlie at all). I actually liked April the most out of the 4 Mercy Westers we were introduced to. (Jackson was OK but Reed and Charlie are just plain annoying - just cut them out of the show already! Their storylines aren't that interesting anyway. I didn't miss them at all in this episode, and I was glad they weren't in it either.)

April was the easiest to relate to for me because she seemed more sensitive and more vulnerable (I still haven't forgotten her notebook of self-encouraging words). The scene with Derek in the Scrub Room was just heart-wrenching (I totally understand how the "coming back" feeling can be really overwhelming sometimes). She could have interesting storylines to develop, so I hope you develop storylines for her! :)

Can't wait for the next episode. Time Warp and all the flashbacks should be interesting to see... :)

[Mariana]

Good episode.
I missed Sandra Oh... but i think i can't complain after last week...
anyway, good episode.

[Gillian]

Why are you people trying to force us to like Teddy and feel sorry for her? I intensly dislike her even more. Yuck, get her off my screen.

[Catherine]

I don't think Owen and Teddy are trying to move backward. They have acknowledge what they were in the past: best friends who had secret feelings for each other. They have acknowledged the present. She is in love with him. He is in love with Cristina and unwilling to do what he did in the past carry on such a close friendship with her now the way he did when he was with Beth because now he knows that the friendship they shared then wasn't just a friendship. Once you have acknowledged the truth of the past and the present you are ready to move forward to the future. Will it be easy, no. Could it be awkward, yes. But by making that statement to Owen in front of his current girlfriend she is saying that she has enough respect for herself, him and Cristina that she will let go of that part of her that makes having a friendship with him questionable. She is respecting the line that he is drawing around his relationship with Cristina. If Teddy is the honest, honourable person that the writers have been trying to present her as then her actions will match her words regardless of what her feelings are. And if Owen is the honest, honorable person he has been presented to be he will be able to relate to her as long as she respects the line he has drawn because as he said he missed his best friend, too. I hope the whole love triangle storyline is done. It just didn't make sense. It felt manufactured, contrived. I would however like to see these people be able to relate to each other as friends and collegues. I would like to see the friendship between Owen and Cristina because I don't think we have a close friendship between a man and a woman without there being some sex involved at some point. It would be nice for the show to demonstrate that men and women can be best friends without any sort of cheating. Acknowledging the past and present with honesty allows you to move forward. Please lets all move forward from this storyline. I swear we could have played a drinking game based on the number of times we were told the storyline was " interesting, complicated and not typical" and gotten falling down drunk. This episode was about reinvention. Please reinvent Teddy as the strong woman she must have been. You have already reinvent Cristina and Owen and made them back into the couple they were last year after having them be unrecognizable for most of the season.

[Catherine]

I meant I would like to see the friendship between Owen and Teddy

[Katy]

Not going to be fooled by the 5 second 'let's make Teddy nice' stunt last night. Everyone knows the writers are going to have Owen and Teddy get together in the end and the writers twitters about how great Teddy is and nothing about Yang a character that's been on the show from the start speaks volumes about how much you guys don't like nor care about Cristina Yang or her story.

Hunt is not that great anyway.

Sandra Oh is wasted on this show!

Peace x x

[Kat]

What I liked about this episode:

Bailey getting a date: I about stood up and cheered.

Mark Sloan's scenes, especially the last one. Heartbreaking.

Mer/Der, particularly the car ride back to the hospital. :) Sexy and funny.

What I didn't like:

I'm really over the whole "patient has a situation that mirrors what doctor is going through, patient delivers heartfelt monologue in front of doctor that brings doctor to an ephiphany about said situation". Its a plot device that has been done to death. Please, please stop using it.

Alex and Lexie having sex. Gross. Why? Can't two people be alone for five minutes? Are we honestly supposed to believe that Alex and Lexie cared about Izzie and Mark when they roll right out of one bed and into another? Ick.

[tvadict mom]

I enjoyed this episode. I don't think there was a scene I didn't like. I really like how you're letting Derek and Meredith adapt instead of breaking them up. Actually everyone was trying to adapt. Well done.

[Ana]

Please let this stupid trianglefrom hell be over.

[Kim]

I was surprised to see that a man wrote this episode. To me this was a great and accurate insight to the struggles that go on in a women's heart.
I also love to see this side of Mark. This episode really got me in the heart. Thanks for the perfect Valentine's Day Grey's episode.

[Cara]

GET MARK AND LEXIE BACK TOGETHER. Not worth watching without that. They were your comic relief and I just can't watch without them.

[Mariette]

Great episode, but I'm having trouble accepting that Derek & Meredith are "married." A hurried post-it note promise of commitment doesn't cut it. Please give us fans the thrill of a real wedding, even if it's a quick jaunt to City Hall!

[Carli]

How can you say nothing about the fact that Callie stepped up to WITH MARK! They so belong together, I can't understand how you can waste the chemistry these two have. You can't just say "oh they're best friends" and leave it at that. It's not true, they have more chemistry together than they have with any other people on the show. Don't even get me started on the lack of chemistry between mark and Lexie. The entire time they were together I wanted to vomit and not just because she's closer to the age of his DAUGHTER, but because she's so immature and annoying is not the woman mark needs to grow the hell up. I find it interesting you say that Lexie has helped mark grow when in actuality it has been Callie supporting him in his grown up decisions.That last scene when she was taking apart the crib and he was about to break down had more chemistry than any of mark and lexie's sex scenes.

[Ivy]

Oh PLEASE tell me we are finally going to learn SOMETHING about Alex's background after six seasons. I know more about Jackson's background than I do Alex's.

[eia]

Loved, loved loved, Mark wanting the baby and the tears in his eyes when he figured out he wasn't getting it. By the way if you haven't thought of it, Grandparents have rights, he could go for getting the baby!!! I liked him and Lexie together. Maybe they'll figure it all out!!!