Stacy McKee on "State of Love and Trust"...

Original Airdate: 2-4-10

Dear Derek Shepherd, First of all, let me clear something up. I know you are a fictitious character on a television show. I know this because I've been writing for you for six seasons now. That's a long time. That's a lot of episodes. That's more McDreamy monologues than I can count. That said, I just wanted to use my blog this time to say: It's ABOUT the hell time you became Chief. I've been waiting for this moment as long as you have, you know. Six seasons. Richard promised you the chiefship way back in the pilot. It's how he lured you out to Seattle Grace in the first place. And then you found out that he'd also promised the position to Burke. Remember that? You've been waiting for this moment a long long time. As have I. So it was a pleasure to write you this episode. To give you the voice over. To watch you step up to the plate and... Flounder. Because, let’s face it. You were floundering this episode. And I dug it. We saw a new side of you this episode, and it was refreshing. You were not polished. You were not smooth. We all know just how much this moment must have meant to you and yet, you were set back on your heels. You had to use NOTECARDS, dude. When addressing the entire hospital. Note cards? The Chief should NOT be using note cards! And, that tie? Now, ordinarily, when you get the chance to take off your scrubs and get all gussied up, I enjoy the transformation. You usually look very dashing. But somehow, in this episode, seeing you in that button down shirt and tie, topped with a lab coat... You reminded me of you as a geeky teenager. The one you told us about in the Prom episode, the one who had braces and played in the band. No offense, but you looked like a little boy playing dress up. Which, by the way, was the point. Because although you have taken over as Chief, you're not quite up to the task yet. I know you wanted to hit the ground running, but it's pretty clear -- the Chiefship is not going to be easy to take over. Richard Webber has left you a hospital in crisis, and his are big shoes to fill. So I don't care how much you or I have been waiting for this moment... It's clear that it's going to take you more than just one episode to actually shine. Which I love. I love seeing you struggle with the job. I was excited to see you go head to head with Richard in that conference room - to call him out, to actually try and FORCE his hand into signing the rehab forms... Holy crap. And then when you turned around and realized you had an audience, when you had to suddenly put your Chief hat back on and send people back to work -- in that moment, it was like a light bulb went off. You - and we all - got a glimpse into just how difficult balancing the job as Chief actually is – and will continue to be. You weren’t able to waltz in and take over seamlessly. You have your work cut out for you. Awesomeness.

And while we're on the topic, I would like to state for the record that I side with Meredith here a little bit. I think you did oust Richard from his job in a fairly underhanded way. I mean I get it, I understand that you can't have anyone - let alone your Chief of Surgery - potentially endangering patients because they are a drunk, but... still. You forced Meredith's hand. And she's right, you did it partly because you HAVE been waiting for the chance to be Chief for a long long time. So I applaud the maturity she shows you here in this episode. She doesn't approve of what happened or how it went down, but as your wife, she's setting that aside and simultaneously being supportive of you. She's helping you pick the right tie. She's telling you that you will be a good Chief. That's maturity we haven't always seen between the two of you and it makes me happy you've finally reached that point in your relationship.

Not that Mark Sloan or Owen are showing the same level of maturity in their relationships right now. I get that you guys are all testosteroney and don't really want to talk about your feelings -- but maybe you could talk a little sense into your two buddies? Mark is punishing Lexie for sleeping with Alex, when he TOTALLY did the same thing with Addison. More than once. He has no ground to stand on! The man-boy is acting like an immature hypocrite. Unacceptable!! And yet - strangely human. I'm sure that's what you would say -- that Mark may be a hypocrite, but only because, for the first time since - well, almost ever - he's been hurt. By a LADY. He was ready to take the next step in his relationship with Lexie and she turned him down, so now he's lashing out. Which is valid, I suppose, but…

Still. He's acting like a jerk.

And Owen - Now, I'm not going to say I don't appreciate an episode in which Owen slams Cristiana against walls and kisses her over and over (you may recall, I scripted their very first wall-slamming kiss outside Joe's Bar last season) - but I have to say... What the HELL was Owen thinking? Literally asking Cristina to choose him over surgery? When Teddy was paging Cristina with a big, amazing medical crisis?? Cristina is right when she calls Owen out on trying to control her all day with sex. Only, of course, he wasn't doing it consciously. He was just falling back on the thing he knows he can rely on between the two of them – their undeniable chemistry. That's his solution when what they really need to do is actually talk. 

Thank goodness they finally do talk. And - boy - that scene blows me away. Every time I see it.

Meanwhile, when – if ever – have you met someone who wasn’t intimidated by one of Bailey’s arias? I know you have some interest in this since you were trying to help set Bailey up on a date not too long ago – so, did you notice that Ben, the anesthesiologist Bailey was butting heads with today – did you notice that he was absolutely NOT intimidated by her?

I don’t know. They may have gotten off on the wrong foot here, but I think there’s a little chemistry between those two. Someone not afraid to challenge Bailey. I think I like this Ben guy. And when it comes to challenging authority – I think you might want to keep an eye on Alex. Arizona seems to have taken him under her wing and I have to admit, I like the combination of the two of them. Alex is notorious for challenging patients or their loved ones if necessary, so he may have just discovered the perfect forum in which to do so. Pediatrics is a specialty where, as the doctor, it is part of your job to stand up for you patients, to give them a voice. It might very well be the perfect place for Alex Karev. (Which, by the way, is something we’ve been setting up for a while – even back when Addison was wandering the halls. Remember? Even she noticed that Alex had a way with the kiddos…) My point is – there’s a LOT happening right under your nose at the hospital right now. Yesterday, it didn’t really matter to you. You weren’t the Chief. But today… Today it has to matter to you. It matters if you have a resident bullying a child’s parents. It matters if a patient wakes up on the table. If the hospital is getting sued. If your authority is being undermined by your former boss, the one sitting in a public space, refusing to sign your papers all day. All of it matters to you now. Because you are no longer just Derek Shepherd, neuro-god. That was the easy job. That’s the job that earned you the title McDreamy. But the tables have turned. You are about to start a new journey, and I’m not gonna lie. I know what happens in the next episodes. Your job is only going to get harder. And harder. And harder. Which is why I’m writing you this letter. Mostly I just wanted to wish you good luck. You’re gonna need it. Sincerely, Stacy P.S. – Please. Do take Bailey’s advice and… lose the tie.

Comments

[Hek]

Loved alex and arizona

[Kayti]

No comment on all the season one throwbacks!? They were so epic and awesome! I can't be the only one who noticed them, right?

[Priya]

I really liked how you wrote "Invest In Love." This one, not nearly as much. :/ But...I DID like the Teddy/Christina scenes, Alex's scenes, and the very end with Mark/Callie/Arizona. {hilarious!}

[Kiki]

Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! C/O fans are so incredibly happy. We got hot sex and, FINALLY, the Burke talk. The love and chemistry between these two is amazing...off the charts. I'm not sure how you got that first hot scene by the censors...I swear I saw SO shudder. Even when Owen is acting all caveman, he's freakin' hot. Lucky SO to get to work with the hot smokin' man that is KMK. Someone should bottle his magic. Oh - and thanks for the Joe's kiss - stil my all time favorite. Every woman needs to be kissed like that. :)

So curious what you are going to do with Teddy - she sure isn't likeable yet.

[nyla]

Blue certainly does bring out McDreamy's beautiful eyes ... :)

SO is amazing! I'm glad she gave Owen the "Burke talk" - hopefully he'll start to get her a little more, because up until this point he's been pretty annoying (IMO, of course).

Mark and Lexie, as a couple, = BORING! And I'm having a very hard time buying in to the angst because I never baught them as a couple in the first place.

Now Jackson and Lexie could be pretty hot ... or Jackson and anyone! More Jackson please :) The rest of the MWer's, hopefully they'll get cut.

Alex + peds = gold! It's good to see him shine, and he has a great mentor in Arizona - those two characters/actors work very well together.

The milisecond of Callie and Mark in bed was AMAZING ... until it showed all three of them. lol But seriously, that was a cute scene :)

[Lisa]

Absolutely loved the episode tonight! Again we got our S5 Owen tonight, our very own hot mess that loves Cristina! And Cristina opened her heart and let Owen in at the end! le sigh

Loved the vent sex! WOW! Each to their own but I love how KMK kisses Cristina. (I love to be kissed like that!)
Owen was scared to lose her, which you can't blame him after Cristina said she choose surgery over him! He was wrong in asking Cristina to stay instead of answering her page, but was afraid to lose her to "Teddy".

Cristina's injury was hillarious!

The Burke Talk!!!! Finally, so overdue but so essential for them to move on with their relationship! Cristina being scared to open up but DID says a lot! Love that it ended with Owen holding Cristina's hand, simple love gesture. Now that Cristina has opened up to Owen, this will just make them stronger! He will understand where she is coming from and know her. This scene was so needed and so epic, it made me cry! Kevin McKidd and Sandra Oh knocked it out of the park again!

Loved that Owen was upset with Teddy, he should be! I still can't stand the Teddy character but am so happy she realized Cristina was the best resident! But for her to accuse Cristina of being unprofessional when that is all she has been is hypocritical.

Need to go rewatch!

[mols]

Thanks Stacy for the awesomeness that was Alex this episode. It was so refreshing to see him being taught again. I love his relationship with Arizona, love his interaction with the patient/family. Alex is perfect in pedes.

Also loved the fab 3 (sadface) banter with the hot crossed buns. THAT reminded me of the days of old in the best way possible.

[Lisa]

Stacy,

I've really like your episodes. And I LOVE LOVE LOVE that Derek is finally having more screentime and focus he deserves, but seriously, even when this episode was about Derek, but today what I watched on my screen was an episode of Yang's Anatomy. And I'm really tired of it.

If Shonda is so invested in this couple, and have them monopolize storylines and screentime, could you give them a spinoff? Please! That way you can spare a lot of fans from watching them.

You do realize that we barely saw Calzona and MerDer?

It's a nice balance when we get to see them be doctors and have a life too, and not on a 5 second scene, hope we can see that again one day.

Sincerely,
Bored fan.

[Kirea]

Dear Stacy,

Thanks for an amazing episode! One of the best I can recall.

First of all I must say that I completely sided with Derek, since I think that having someone (chief or not) operating drunk is not acceptable, and its dangerous. So, he did what he had to do. That he was also interested in Richard’s job, is unlucky. I would like to think he would have done the same even if he had not been in line for the job. Meredith was wrong and reckless to cover it up.

Second, thanks for bringing the humor back! Loved the scene with Cristina and her burn! Hilarious. I had not laughed so hard with grey’s in ages.

Third, I do agree with you that Alex belongs in Peds. Have always liked him. He is the tough guy with a great heart, and a thing for kids and strays. Glad he is finally getting his own storyline, away from Izzie (which I am surprisingly not missing). He does deserve something good.

Then it was Owen and Cristina. Actually they are the main reason why I follow Grey’s nowadays. Loved what you did with them today. I totally get that the sex had a desperate feeling to it. When Owen is out of words he just kisses her and tries to communicate with sex. Which is great by the way… not going to complain about the hot scenes ;-) but it was not what they needed.

I missed to read in your comment about their last scene tonight, could you do an update including your take on the scene?. The “Burke talk”. I loved it for a million reasons, but mainly because it was what they needed. Honest talking about their issues, and Cristina opening up and showing him her wounds. To me it seems like the reverse story from S5; back then he was hurt and she saw him, and loved him. Now he gets to see her wounds and to stand by her side. Loved how at the end, even if he finds it difficult to talk, he forced her to speak, and also that he did not drag her into hotness and sex. And how amazing was the acting in that scene! Someone please, get Sandra Oh an Emmy, and a second Golden Globe… she is probably the best actress on TV right now. It is a rare gift to see two brilliant actors on a show together.

Oh, one last thing! Thanks for keeping the triangle and that Teddy to a minimum… now that the objective of bringing up Cristina’s issues is accomplished, could you please send her back to Iraq? Or anywhere away from my screen? That would be the icing of the cake! She gets on my nerves and I need to FFWD all the scenes with her when I re-watch! :-)

Once again, thanks for this amazing episode! I am going to bed with a big smile on my face thanks to you.

Sincerely
K :-)

[kerolizwan]

shepherd?

[Erin]

LOVED LOVED LOVED this episode!

Loved Derek struggling at being chief and ended the day doing well.

Loved Bailey's patient and their struggle.

Loved Cristina's injury! Alex, Lexie and Meredith were just too funny!

Loved all the HOT Cristina/Owen sex! WOW! I know this was a device that they need to communicate better, but WOW these two have chemistry - set my tv on fire! And it is SO obvious they are completely in LOVE with each other but they are two people that have a hard times with words and letting themselves go completely. Hence, my favorite scene of the whole episode...

But what I LOVED the MOST is the Burke Talk!!! Thank you so much for this, it was so needed and just opened up the communication link between Cristina and Owen. The only thing that puzzles me a bit is that when they first met part of their charm was they were so easily able to share their thoughts with each other that they didn't share with anyone else. So I am presuming this was the BIG emotional hurdle Cristina had to get over to really open and reveal herself to Owen. Hope this is the end of their miscommunication and really get a chance to KNOW each other because Cristina and Owen are amazing together and pray they are together forever! There is so much you can do with these two without breaking them up... dealing with PTSD and life challenges.

The thing I still dislike is Teddy. Talk about unprofessional, she needs to look in the mirror! This character needs to move on and away from Cristina and Owen's storyline. Still don't get her or care to at this point.

[Karen]

I am so HAPPY to finally read a blog that doesn't say Owen loves Cristina and Teddy! I was getting so sick of hearing that.

Obviously Cristina and Owen are madly in love, but are having trust issues. The last scene- Burke talk, just opened that flood gate and hopefully they will continue to stengthen their relationship. This coupling is so magical and special, I can't wait to see it develop and grow.

Owen might "love" Teddy as a friend, but SO not the same thing. So sick of everyone saying this triangle is different when Teddy is still pouting over Owen and taking it out on Cristina. Thankfully, Teddy finally realized just how good Cristina is and won't keep her off her service.

Tonight's episode was wonderful! Thank you!

[Famous Artist]

Dear Stacy:

In Derek's last speech he did lose the tie.

I have always taken my Grey's Anatomy very seriously. I don't know why, but you folks gave me characters that I liked. Thanks for that.

For me, this episode, and the blog for that matter, is one of the best episodes ever in Grey's Anatomy history. I do love getting to see inside of Derek. And how Meredith's ambition is beginning to bubble up as well.

But tonight, my favorite moments were with Yang. I loved her showing herself to Owen. And I loved the part with Alex and Arizona. Also, I am rooting for LIttle Grey and Dr. Sloan.

Aside from that. Izzie who? I think that you could just stop putting her in the episodes and nobody would notice. (people are not going to like that. but she complains too much).

So thanks for making GA so great. I feel like it is better than ever.

[Simona]

I love you for saying this

"Which, by the way, is something we’ve been setting up for a while – even back when Addison was wandering the halls. Remember? Even she noticed that Alex had a way with the kiddos…"

Seriously.

THANK YOU!!

[Joeyz]

loved the episode.

loved how owen and cristina's relationship grew one big step. burke talk ... yay!

loved callie and mark's friendship.

p/s excuse the lack of caps ... typing with one hand while holding a babe in the other.

[Z]

Stacy,
Amazing episode! I always love your episodes, they are breathtaking and soo good! I loved each and everyones storyline! Especially Cristina's speech in the end!!
Good luck on giving birth, Blueberry McKee was it?

[Erin]

This was THE best Grey's episode I can remember. And I've been there since the beginning. Absolutely loved the C/O in here - we've waited all season for this, and boy was it worth it,
That last scene where they had the Burke talk was so well done. Sandra is such an amazing actress, and KMK is HOT!
Can't wait till next week!

[Gingernu]

Dear Stacy,
Yes it has been a long time in the making, not to be too critical, but you had 6 years to plot, plan, trim, cut, gel, and colour the PERFECT-HAIR-ONE's asension, so I think a little of the blame for McDreamy's note cards and tie choice, lies with you! I am really enjoying Derek as chief by the way!! And you know, once again, it's a tad your fault we've had to watch and watch, and re-watch, and rewatch the hotness that is KMK- OWEN going all caveman-like!!!Very nice build up to that talk!!!... Essential part too, so I have to disagree with "all they have to do it talk";-D. They should and can do BOTH anyday, and every single espisode, thank you! Please pass that on to the writers. And while you do that, can we please have a non-angsty-non triangle episode where Owen and Cris kick ass together to save a life. Their undeniable chemistry applies to them working together too! HOT in every sense on screen!
Thanks for writing this fab. espisode.
Best wishes,
and fingers crossed for more,
Ginger

[Brian C]

I really wanted to know how does Izzie turns out.. How long are the writers is going to let the fans anticipate? :(

[Sharon]

Loved the episode!!! Derek as cheif was awesome, I have been waiting a long time too. Loved Alex this episode, more please? But have 2 small favors to ask... 1. Can you PLEASE have Bailey stop with the speeches? Everytime she talks,I think she is going to cry. We need more kick-ass S1 Bailey.
2. Please please make Owen stop eating off Christina's face EVERY SINGLE TIME he kiss her! Can they ever share a normal kiss? It is not sexy at all, it is gross!
Thanks.

[Amy]

WOW, just WOW!

[tvadict Mom]

Excellent episode. much better. I can finally see some direction. thank you.

[Judy]

"...the tie, the shirt, ...the pants, ..." LOL. Okay I am completely kidding. Derek MUST wear clothes.

Stacey, I loved Most of the episode but to be honest, the patient that awakened during surgery was completely over the top for me. She SIGNED the TREATMENT forms, and would have met with the docs PRE-OPeratively, so hearing her accuse Bailey of cutting into her barbarically was just alittle TOO much melodrama. It may have been the directing but those scenes were somehow OFF to me.

I do think the episode found its stride but there were some things that felt off kilter.

I did love the CROW of the episode. Yeah to SO for doing such an incredible job! SHE ROCKED. KMcK did as well.

And Mark is REALLY ramping up the JERKnotch.

I did LOVE Mer and Der in this episode and I do appreciate the maturity, as a matter of fact, LOVE IT. But still wouldn't mind McDreamy tossing Meredith up against the brick wall and inflicting his own brand of dreamy love burn, LOL

I feel bad for Webber, but then again I don't. I really hope we see the REHAB.

ALEX --- I love him one minute and hate him the next. Always probably will. But he ROCKED tonight.

Hope you have a great weekend. Glad the show was new this week, miss you all when your not on my TV.

And I do want you all to know that I love the addition of Teddy. She is a great fit....FINALLY.

[Kim]

I LOVED this episode! From start to finish this one had me hooked. Great job Stacy!

Christina- Don't cry on my ass. LOL Loved that!

[Mari, from Brazil]

All about Derek! Please keep them coming! Just a few things first.

The women.

Bailey. She doesn’t apologize easily but she’s great with patients. She should have apologized to Leslie in the first time. She would do it right away. The same way she said to Derek in the end, that Richard would have done.

Teddy making Avery feels like nothing because only Yang is the best resident? Not what I expected her to be.

Arizona. I love her all the time. “I promise him we’d clap”. But she didn’t have to teach Karev in front of the kid. That was inappropriate and noting like her. And with the parents she forgot to mention it was Dr. Karev who saved his son’s life. When she talked to Karev in the end she was great. Tough and right. And encouraging at the same time. Just like her.

And Meredith. Supportive from the beginning to the end. Derek needs her. Loves her. And to Richard: “I think if my mother were here to see this, she would kick your ass for even considering it.” And in the OR, she was caring about the patient: “Okay, I know you're scared right now, but it's gonna to be okay. Everything is going to be okay.”

Men acting like boys.

Karev is a great doctor. But Arizona’s right, he’s not a parent and he acts as a beat kid when against parents. Anyway, don’t miss Izzie at all…

Mark was immature and sexist and all Callie said. Like Derek pointed out too. Yes, it’s the first time he has being hurt by a girl. Callie being his friend is lovely!

Owen lying to protect Cristina from Teddy? Not like him either. And his caveman acting? For me he’s trying to convince himself he loves Cristina. Too much to be true. Teddy scares him. Always have. He admires her and maybe he thought she was out of his league. More now that he’s PSTD.

Richard. “If I do what they want me to do, it's like saying that they were right, right about doing this. Right about me.” Remembers me Burke’s “say Uncle”. I want him treated and I want him back. But as a surgeon. A teacher. Not as chief anymore. It’s Derek’s time now.

And finally, Derek as chief.

He looked like a boy addressing the staff. But he isn’t a boy. He’s a man.

A scared and worried man. Scared about falling, about letting the people down. “They're gonna be mad at me just like you are.” Worried about Richard ending his career. “I plan to honor Richard Webber and his legacy. Not undo it...”

He’s loyal: “Not my story to tell” even though he’s be seeing as the bad guy. He didn’t tell anyone about Richard drinking; Richard told Bailey himself. Not Derek.

He learns and don’t feel ashamed to admit his mistakes and apologize for them. “I don't expect to win your trust overnight. But I want each of you to know... you have mine.” And to Richard: “I'm sorry.”

He’s fair: “I'd like to offer each of you your jobs back. Now there are gonna be cuts down the line, but you both deserve a fighting chance.” “I am neither pro nor anti merger. From this point on, everyone has a clean slate.”

It’s not about ego. Not about himself. It’s about the hospital. The doctors. And the profession he loves. Practicing medicine. “I am not focused on the past. I'm looking to the future... To all the promise this hospital has to offer.”

The difference Derek can make? He can be the caring father people need right now. He cares about people. Management’s duties requires cuts and budges approvals and though choices. He can do that too. But when you care about people and make them feel safe the works flows better. They give their best. Everything works better. A trusted environment works better than a chaotic one. Everywhere. “I'm both humbled and honored… to be your new chief of surgery.”