Debora Cahn on "Blink"...

Original Airdate: 1-14-10

Here’s where it started.  I had my second baby recently.  My first is two and a half.  And I told Shonda that I remembered quite clearly the moment I became a mother to the new baby.  It took a while.  Longer than with the first.  The first… I was that baby’s mom the instant I knew I was pregnant.  But the second… all he was to me was the force of evil that was going to destroy my daughter’s life.  She was so sweet and happy and we loved her so much, and he was going to come along and ruin her. She’d lose her status as the epicenter of our universe and it would make her jealous and cranky and aggressive and miserable.  My son wasn’t a sweet innocent unborn baby, he was the destroyer.  Right up until the day I talked about his circumcision with a doctor.  

Someday my son is going to find out that I discussed his circumcision on the internet and he’s gonna be really pissed off.

Anyway, we were planning to get him circumcised, and I was asking our pediatrician about it, and he explained that you could use a numbing cream, but it probably wasn’t necessary.  I found this patently absurd.  A knife, and a penis, and no anesthesia??  Barbaric.  And this from a male doctor?  What was he thinking?  What the hell did he think I was going to allow them to do to my baby???

That was the moment.  Right there.  That’s when he became my baby.  

He might experience pain, and hell or high water, I was going to stop it.  He was my baby.

Now, in the end we didn’t use a numbing cream, which apparently doesn’t really work, or novocaine, because apparently injecting the novocaine is more painful than the actual procedure.  I found that hard to believe, but I was assured by three different medical professionals, and sure enough, we did the damn thing and he cried for a grand total of four seconds and that was that.  But I did my research, and I did a lot of it, because he was my baby.  

One minute he wasn’t, and the next minute he was.  In an instant.  

It struck me that a lot of stuff’s like that.  A lot of big stuff.  Big changes.  Life changes.  You think you’ll grow into it, over time, and in some ways you do, but when it comes right down to it, one minute you’re not, the next, you are.  A parent.  An adult.  In love.  Out of it. It kind of turns on a dime.  

Malcom Gladwell thought about this too, recently.  And wrote a book on it.  Called “Blink.”  Coincidence?  

So there’s Mark, who’s so sure about who he is, just like we’re so sure who he is, until suddenly he’s a dad.  Not because Sloan shows up, not because she’s living on his couch, but because she’s in danger, and something kind of unexpected and inexplicable wells up in him and suddenly he’s a father.  Just like that.  He didn’t want it.  He wouldn’t have called it.  But there it is.  Nothing he can do about it.  

And Lexie, who discovers in an instant that she’s kind of still a kid.  She sees Mark, ready to take on parenthood, ready to embrace his wacky add-water family, and knows in her gut that she’s not there yet, and doesn’t want to be there.  

And let me pause for a second to say that the look that passes over Lexie’s face before she says “I think our relationship just ended” kills me.  Chyler rocks.  

And Cristina, who has the horrible realization that having a mentor is more important to her than Owen is – she didn’t know that was the case until she’d already said it.  Until she’d already offered to trade him away.  She had no idea until it was out of her mouth, but once she’d heard herself speak the words, she knew they were true.  She’s become a person who will trade away a man she loves for her work.  Does she choose that?  Is she comfortable with that?  It doesn’t matter.  She is that.  

And let me pause for another second and say Sandra… when she says “Fine!  Done!  Take him!”  Holy crap.  I knew it was coming and it still knocked the wind right out of me.  

And I would be remiss if I didn’t mention Chandra Wilson claiming that Sheldon Morris has a quality she’s drawn to.  Good lord, the woman is funny.  

What can I say?  It’s a damn love fest over here.  

Anyhow, that’s what we were thinking about when we hatched this one.  Those little moments that change everything.  Change who you are.  Not the graduations or births.  The offhand comments, at the drugstore, next to the toothpaste.  Or on the phone, with the pediatrician, two weeks before the kid comes out.  That’s when it happens.  

Please don’t tell my son we talked about this.  

Comments

[Jessicafreels]

I think you're a talented writer. I hated this. It was like finding out all the people I loved in high school talked about me behind my back. Im not saying things need to be easy. I'm saying taking everyone and turning them on their ear in one episode was too much to bare. And Sloane is ANNOYING. Like not worthy of Greys annoying. Like Sadie annoying.

[Schuyler]

I absolutely loved this episode! It's great to know that it's dear to you and close to your heart. That's when a story is best told.

[Mina]

Worst episode ever!!!! Shonda, you should be ashamed of destroying what once was an excellent show with believable characters. You praise Christina for wanting a mentor that does not want the best for her? Christina is smarter than that, well prepared, did you forget that she has a ph.d. And an m.d. from reputable schools? And you made Teddy so vulnerable of wanting Owen when he is taken, just as he was back in Irak? Just explain how the situation now is different from before? And the poor storyline with Addison. PLEASE! She is an embarrasement for any doctor type. You guys lost your touch and the show is over, at least for me.

[Lisa]

Seriously?
That's your blog?
No talking about Meredith, your lead character?

No talking about Derek and him looking for what's wrong with the chief?

Alex? and Lexie?

What is going on on Grey's?

[Jackie]

Amazing episode. Thank you for the shower scene!

[StephanieJane]

Sooo is Sloan staying? Bring Izzy back!

[carmen]

I don't think Cristina is comfortable with the words she spoke. She looked shooked once she said them. I hate what they are doing with them! I hope she regrets it and tells Altman that she was crazy for saying those things. As for Dr. Altman come on she would take Owen after all the times he's said he's with Cristina. She needs to move on and Cristina and Owen have a lot to work on. I hope that their relationship can be saved or I'm done with the show...We come to love these couples and at the end they end up breaking up again and again, fine, yes they have problems but don't break them up.

[Jessica]

I don't get why Cristina would do that after everything that Owen and her went through. It doesn't make any sense! ARE YOU WATCHING THE SAME SHOW?

BTW,
I hate Teddy, I can see her using this against Cristina to win Owen. How lame.

Yea this is a great story line...NOT.

[Anne]

A very good episode. I noticed that you didn't talk about the chief part of the episode which was a thread through the episode. I think Derek was suspicious before but the Mr Morris situation - he really knew something was up then. Hard to hide that kind of error and it would lead one to wonder. Especially if you offered him a surgery and he didn't take it on a high profile patient. But he still had time to watch surgery movies with your wife. I'm glad Meredith told Derek about the chief.

Mark in this episode - well I am very happy to see more of Mark in any episode. This dad storyline and grandpa shows another side of him which I really like. Eric Dane was amazing. Lexie on one hand is likely very proud of his maturity but also not willing to accept the responsibility of coparenting/raising a child that is not hers.

Loved Bailey's rant to the lunch guy and her chats with Derek.

Derek in this episode was amazing. Loved the caring, compassionate side and him as a surgeon. He showed his fun side too and his serious side re: chief.

I felt for Christina in this one she had a difficult patient but succeeded. I think the analogy was correct she is a race horse that needs to be pushed/challenged.

I loved seeing alot of Derek in this episode and Meredith too. I just wish they had a bit more personal time together but the scene at beginning and end were good but next time can we get a bed shot of them waking up together and maybe a kiss before she dashes off to surgery or rescue the chief? or maybe him buying her a coffee and or a 10 second snuggle in his office? Sadly I suspect not as this chief revelation will likely lead to more discussion between them (which should happen) and won't lead to any light moments of banter over breakfast or coffee or on the couch. But I can't help longing for those moments even if we only got brief moments. So if you throw me a brief happy moment it would be nice but I won't expect it. But I can dream... I'm happy they are together and living together and hopefully a future together with all the ups and downs (hopefully some ups).

[PamelaJaye]

and no comment at all about Alex, or Meredith? wow... I'm staring at the screen saying "Don't!" and "Tell!" and... nothing? really?
It's okay. I was pissed off at Alex and, in the end, Lexie (and Mark and Addie, do they never learn? okay, maybe this time. Everyone is having sex willy nilly over on PP. It's so stupid. And then all of a sudden Charlotte and Cooper are yelling at each other about EVERYTHING and suddenly it DOES matter. and it's good. and my plan to just dump all of Private Practice off my DVR just... falls to crap.
Don't ask me which Grey's ep those words came from, but I know they did.

Anyway, it must have been important, cause it made me sit up.

[Andrew]

Thanks for the Callie shower scene. Should've made it longer unedited. still good

[NB]

Good episode, but a bit too much going on.

Glad Mark and Lexie broke up. They were awful together. Wouldn't mind seeing Mark move to Private Practice.

Loved Mer/Der.

Really hate the Teddy storyline. I am not a C/O person, but I'm bored with Grey's triangle. If she wants to be with Owen, just do it. Or, pair her with someone else. This storyline is growing old already.

Chrsitina (and Sandra OH) rock. I love her getting cardio.

[Priya]

I was sorely disappointed with tonight's epi. I was expecting more because I liked the other episodes that you've written for the show. I would've liked to have seen more Callie/Arizona and less of everyone from Mercy West. I really like Teddy Altman, however, and the chemistry between she & Christina. My favorite part of the episode was their last scene together when Christina offers up Owen. That really threw me!

[Sparkle]

I was completely floored. Superb episode.

Congrats on the baby! (I won't tell, I promise.)

[CC]

Where was AZ this episode? I thought it would have been better had she done the surgery with Addison instead of Lexie, seeing as she is the rockin peds surgeon and all. Addison is one of Callie's good friends, I thought we'd see a little interaction with the good friend and the girlfriend, no? I also really like the idea of Teddy and Owen--sorry folks. Glad to hear Teddy will be staying. Speaking of staying though, can that Reed girl not stay? She's super annoying.

[Sue]

I started watching the show in season 5 and really like the dynamic between all the couples, especially cristina and owen. thanks for setting the record straight on Cristina's priorities. Clearly there's not much to look forward to in the whole triangle. Time to move on and let Owen pair up with someone else who he deserves... While Cristina enjoys her growth as a surgeon.

[Cordelia]

I would like to slap Cristina, if she doesn't want Owen send him my way!!!

But SERIOUSY they belong together. SERIOUSLY ;)

I wish Teddy would find her own man. It's just so lame to watch. She's being a clingy loser with all her looks at Owen.

[Joeyz]

"She’s become a person who will trade away a man she loves for her work. Does she choose that? Is she comfortable with that? It doesn’t matter. She is that."

that was exactly the feeling I got when I watched that scene. it's painful, being a fervent Owina fan, but it's who Cristina really is.

[(T_T)]

No I don't believe Cristina! She may SAY or even WANT to trade Owen for some good mentoring but she'd never be able to go through with it. She may TRY but she'll find out soon enough that her love for owen is even stronger than her need for a great mentor. Cris will always be a surgeon and she'll always be kickass. But her bond with Owen is too special for it to be overshadowed by anything else. She may TRY to let Teddy have Owen...but it's not happening. She and Owen are meant to be!! If there's such a thing as soulmates, they're it! She'll never be able to actually let Owen go. She'll try...and fail spectacularly. She needs Owen more than s he realizes. She may THINK she favors her job more....but she doesn't. Owen is the one. It's owen or no one!

Cris+Owen FOREVER!

[vella from Philippines]

wahh!!
so nice, heart breaking episode..

im so hooked!!

[Nivrita ~]

Sandra Oh was PHENOMENAL last night. I haven't seen such fire in Christina in such a long time. And I just love the way you've written about the split-second decision - it embodies perfectly what speaks to me most in Christina's character. "She is that."
One last thing: I guess it's the 18 year old girl in me but "Well it turns out your stupid post-it is ten times the marriage my church wedding ever got me" was just brilliant.

[Nola]

I thought you would talk a little about Alex and his position.

[Kb1025]

I did't like the episode "blink" that much. I thought it was too busy. You had issues with Bailey being hooked up, Mark & Lexie, Mark & Sloan, etc. For a moment I thought the title "blink" referred to how fast things were happening on the show; no buildup just "bam" in your face. Like the shower scene with Callie & Arizona and the outside scene with Cristina and Teddy. I can see Cristina choosing work over Owen, but there was no past history to indicate that Teddy would be devious enough to create a situation where Cristina would be forced to choose between Teddy (work) or Owen. I really wish the writers would worry less about who is hooking up with whom and more on discussing topics that are more heartfelt. The Arizona focused "Invest in Love" is a perfect example. That was the best show of the season. The other storylines just seem to be filling space. If the writers want to see an excellent example of a show that has good drama even without the characters having to sleep around, they should tune in to "The Good Wife.". That show is by far the best show I have ever seen on tv. The writing is solid from week to week and there is continuity from one show to the next.

[Kelly]

I love Bailey and Derek scenes. The crossovers not so much. Mark and Addison seemed so pathetic on Private Practice. On Grey's GA is forcing third parties, out of character and regressive behavior on every other character and pairing and it stinks.

[Cate]

I love Mer & Der. I've loved them for 5 years. Which makes them pretty much the most committed relationship I've been in. But I just want to say that I really love AZ and CA too. They are absolutely adorable. And tonight they were hot. I'm a straight, conservative girl and I've never been drawn in to totally loving a gay couple on tv before, but you've really got me with AZ & CA. I really hated the whole Erica thing and questioned where the Callie character was heading. Imagine my surprise when she wound up being half of my new fav couple on tv! AZ & CA are my new Mer/Der! (I still love mer/der tho, more mer/der, but now I request more Calizona too!). Great job!