Stacy McKee on "Invest in Love"...

Original Airdate: 11-5-09

OK. So I am currently writing this blog (and when I say writing, I mean longhand. In a notebook. With a pen. That’s right, people. This week I’m blogging old school!) early on a Saturday morning as I stand in line at a horse racing park near the Los Angeles Airport. I, along with easily 500 other people, am waiting in line to get my H1N1 vaccine. 

So far, I’ve been in line for 35 minutes.

This is one of the only places in the city offering the vaccine right now and while, ordinarily, I totally wouldn’t bother getting up early on my Saturday to go stand in a ridiculously long line for a shot… At this particular moment, I really don’t have a choice. 

My OB was pretty darn insistent. As was Shonda, who called me out of the writers’ room on Friday to try and convince me to leave work and go home, suggesting I should seriously consider spending the next several weeks safely sanitized inside a large plastic bubble. (Greys and Private have already had 3 confirmed H1N1 cases emerge in just the last week, so the likelihood of me being exposed is… well... not absurd.) 

So everyone’s freaking out. And insisting I go get vaccinated. And all of this just because --I’m pregnant. You wouldn’t think that being pregnant could cause such a fuss.

Guess what? It can. 

And you probably would think that being pregnant – newly pregnant, mind you, and ridiculously hormonal – might prevent me from getting assigned to write the all PEDS episode this season. Seems a little cruel, doesn’t it? To ask the newly pregnant girl to tackle the one episode in which every major patient is supposed to be a SICK KID?

We’ve been planning an all PEDS episode for some time. Arizona is a regular now and we’ve started seeing more and more of her – but for the most part, we always see her helping Callie through crisis after crisis. We haven’t yet really given Arizona a crisis of her own. So what better chance than in an episode where every patient is – in essence – her patient. Every patient is from the PEDS floor. PEDS, where things work a little bit differently, where the patients believe in magic. Because they are kids. Sick, dying KIDS.

Guess what? As concerned as Shonda was about me living in a plastic bubble, she was just as equally NOT concerned that perhaps making me write the all Pediatrics episode was just a teeny, tiny little bit of torture. “It’ll be great,” she said. “Use your new maternal instincts to make the episode better,” she said. “NO, WALLACE CAN’T LIVE! I DON’T CARE HOW PREGNANT YOU ARE. THE ADORABLE LITTLE SICK KID MUST DIE!” she said.

Okay, maybe she didn’t say that last bit exactly like that. But still. Even I knew I couldn’t really tell Wallace’s story properly if I let him live. And as sad as it might have made you to watch his mom come into the morgue and try to usher his final resting bad dreams away - I’m telling you people - it was even more terrible and heartbreaking and so so so sad for me. ‘Cause all I could think of the entire time – as I wrote it, as I sat on set and watched us film it, as I sobbed all the way through it while watching a cut of the episode in my office – all I could think about was: Oh my god, what if that were MY baby. What if I were that mom? What if I were the one visiting my child in the morgue?

And then I would officially declare to anyone who would listen that I was a terrible person. A terrible, terrible person to write such a horribly sad story about a dying child -- WHILE PREGNANT.

You know how, when Alex is standing there all shirtless and Derek is mocking him, Alex blurts out: “Bailey made me!” – Well, that’s how I feel about this episode. Shonda made me!

I still can’t get through a cut without crying. Stupid me for killing stupid Wallace when I’m this stupidly hormonal.

It’s a good thing you aren’t here in line with me, cause I’m actually starting to cry right now, just thinking about it. And I’m pretty sure my crying is starting to make the volunteer line monitor in the red vest a little anxious. She keeps looking at me and whispering to the red vested guy next to her.

Btw, I’ve hit the hour and 10 minute mark now. And the line hasn’t moved since I started writing this.

So, to balance out all the sadness in the episode, I knew I had to incorporate a story that would make me (and you) feel good, too. Enter Alex. Saving a teeny tiny baby. In the NICU. Shirtless. 

See? A happy miracle baby story! And a half naked handsome man! I’m not such a terrible person! 

Alex’s story came from these cases I’d been reading about tiny, preemie babies where the doctors had done everything medically possible, but the babies just weren’t strong enough to rally. So, a lot of times, the parents would just pick up their little babies, thinking that at least they would get to hold their child for a few minutes while it was still alive. 

And then these miracles would happen, where the babies would feel their parents’ warmth and hear their heart beat, and the babies would, miraculously, start to thrive. One of the articles described how no incubator could mimic the simple act, the simple comfort of the baby being held.

Which was why this story was so perfect for Alex. He feels so completely helpless right now, so utterly useless and alone. And then he encounters this little baby who’s also struggling, also alone. For a moment, Alex finds a purpose. And he’s reminded that he can make a difference in somebody’s life, even when his own seems to be falling apart all around him. On the most basic level, these two little lost souls just need each other.

Ooo! Just moved up in line. Several whole inches. This is progress, people. 

The surprise party, by the way, is based on a true story, too. A true Grey’s story. It happened a few years ago, when we threw Krista Vernoff a surprise baby shower. It was the best kept secret our office has EVER had (because, basically, no one in our office can keep a secret. We’re a bunch of blabber mouths. The fact that the party was genuinely a surprise still surprises ME!) – Anyway. Shonda told Krista to come to a meeting at her house one morning, a morning where Krista was in the middle of a million different rewrites and script pages and stress. Lots of stress. So Krista kept calling people from the office, and none of us would pick up our phones because – of course – we were all crouched in Shonda’s living room, waiting for Krista to arrive. So by the time she got to Shonda’s, Krista had probably had one of the worst mornings ever, just in time to walk in the front door, have us all yell SURPRISE, and to have poor Krista burst into tears. Full on, pregnant and hormonal tears.

Obviously, right now, I can identify.

And that is exactly what happens to Arizona. She steps into the apartment wanting nothing more than some quiet time to just decompress and maybe vent a little and just feel her feelings and instead – she’s met with a room full of party goers. 

Mark Sloan is right when he says that surprise parties are hostile. Because they ARE! (One of my favorite unscripted moments in the episode comes from Cristina when she’s eating breakfast and listening to Mark’s take on surprise parties. If you notice, she TOTALLY sides with Mark as she chomps on her bacon. It’s hilarious!)

And, if you were paying attention, you may have noticed that the surprise party moment is the ONLY moment in the entire episode where Arizona cries. Even though, as we’ve established, Arizona tends to cry in the face of authority figures. Arizona is a people pleaser –Which is why she winds up agreeing to a surgery she doesn’t believe in – she’s trying to please Richard. He’s the chief. She doesn’t want to let him down…

But even after standing up to him, after kicking him out of her OR, she still doesn’t break down and cry. After losing Wallace, Arizona still doesn’t cry. After having to face the Chief and face Jennings in the wake of losing Wallace, Arizona still doesn’t cry. 

Until the party. Where it all just comes flooding out. In the most horribly embarrassing way.

I love, though, that then she gets it out. She cries with Callie, but when she gets back to the hospital, even in the morgue with Wallace’s parents, Arizona doesn’t break down. I feel like it’s a big turning point for her. 

Meanwhile – I’ve now been in line an hour and 45 minutes. This vaccine better be worth it.

I can’t, of course, blog without talking about Meredith and Derek who, admittedly, don’t have a LOT of screen time this episode. But the time they have is, I think, utterly charming and adorable. I love seeing them be happy and married and totally in sync with one another. 

We were, of course, limited a little by the fact that when we filmed this, Ellen had JUST had her baby. In fact, this is the first episode we filmed with her post pregnancy. (It was really fun, actually. She had tons of adorable baby photos to share. That is one cute baby with one FANTASTIC wardrobe. Just saying.)

And finally – one of my favorite moments in the entire episode comes in the very last scene – from Callie. 

For those of you who have been watching Grey’s for a while, you know that Callie tends to blurt things like “I love you” out – often prematurely. She did it with George, and he never could say it back. She’s a gal who jumps in head first, sometimes blindly, and we’ve seen it bite her in the ass.

So what I love love love is the moment when, after the horrible day that Arizona’s had, after the disastrous party, after losing one of her favorite patients – Arizona comes home, takes one look at Callie in her lingerie and that silly party hat – and Arizona says “I love you” first. 

The look on Callie’s face when she hears that? Oh man, I’m starting to tear up again. It’s just so unbelievably vulnerable and sweet and lovely. Okay. Totally crying again.

…Just as Red Vest is motioning for me to move ahead in line. I think maybe I’m about to go get my H1N1 shot. FINALLY. After over 2 hours of waiting. 

At least, I suppose, I’ve put all the waiting to good use. I’ve blogged. I’ve cried. And I’ve given myself a lot of extra work for Wednesday night, when I’ll inevitably be typing all this up. So that’s it for now, kids! Talk to you again in a few episodes!

Comments

[wendy]

I totally loved the ending!!! It seemed fitting for a stressful day.

[Shad]

I think that this such an absolutely brilliant episode. It had such a great mix of doctor stuff vs relationship stuff. Jessica Capshaw...I mean, there are no words. She rocked this episode so hard, which is hugely due on the great material she was given.

I've been watching from the beginning, and since Callie came on, she's been my absolute favorite. Badass meets vulnerable kitten, you gotta respect that. That moment where she said "you do" and and her eyes glossed over because thats *presumably* the first time she's ever ever ever heard that first. Wow. I was balling. I also like that the scene where Arizona falls asleep on Callie (from the promo pics) was cut, the fade out "I love you too" was beautiful.

Amazing moments- the group breakfast scene. I love that they were all together.

The double fight scene as well with Owen/Cristina & Callie/Arizona. It was so cool.

It was absolutely beautiful. Everything. You're one of my all time favorite writers and I my heart jumps a little when I see your name pop up under 'writer'.

[katie g]

I love the Arizona Robbins character. I hope you guys keep her on forever! I think the Chief has expired though. An ousting has become necessary. He's become a total d**k and he's not doing a good job as chief of the hospital.

Love happy meredith and derek. its about time!

Justin Chambers is a damn fine man.

[Denise]

wonderful, wonderful episode. callie/arizona made it for me. i loved callie's expression at the end as well. and i loved the alex/reed chemistry there. izzie is going to have lots of 'splaining to do. :D

[Amanda McDreamy]

Goosebumps spread up and down my spine when, after the scene cuts, you hear Callie say "I love you too".

Fantastic.

[Priya]

Favorite episode thus far in the season. I loved that the entire episode was centered around PEDS and that we got to know Arizona a whole lot better. I understand now--why Callie loves her. At first I wasn't sure how they would exist as a couple, but I now think that they are my favorite couple on the show. I love watching the two of them [very reminiscent of early Mer/Der almost]. I finally see that they complement each other. Again, loved the episode! [even willing to overlook the fact that the Avery is trying to come in between Owen & Christina :0]
More Sara & Jessica !

[SOGreat!]

Last week's episode marked your show's return to the old Grey's that we loved and this one blew that one out of the water. This is the first episode I can recall in years that I can't wait to see again. You had everything! The main cast and their explosive chemistry - Cristina was on fire tonight! The case with Arizona was so sad. You had great humor. You gave us more Jackson. I am dreading Kim R.'s character ruining things for the McBadAsses. Please don't make us suffer for three years like you did with MerDer. No one cheated, no one broke up with anyone tonight, yet there was fireworks and electricity in the air - it's lazy and cliche writing to add a rival, but it's fresh and creative writing to make things exciting with two people in love trying to make things work. I know you guys can be more creative than to do Mer Der 2.0. Thanks for tonight's fantastic and worth watching over and over again epi!

[Sarah in Mpls]

Another great episode- I LOVED it!
I've liked Arizona from the beginning and seeing her in action tonight just confirmed it! I loved how connected she is to her patients. I thought it was interesting how Callie and Owen smiled when she talked about kids and miracles and good ol’ Cristina has to gag – so typical!
We knew at the end that the ritual of bad dreams go away/good dreams here to stay would re-surface-so sad. I’m so glad the parents put the Chief and Jennings in their place-such ass kissers!! Good for them! I’m glad the Chief got to see how appreciative parents are of Arizona.
I also love how Derek keeps showing up for work even though the Chief doesn’t talk to him. And of course liked the end when he asks Meredith the “can we?” question- priceless! Oh and Ellen looked great! Those of us on our couch were thinking this was probably her first post delivery epi.
And poor Alex – we’re so glad he could bond with the baby and feel like he could at least do something worthwhile for a change.
So next week should be another great show with Izzie showing up, Teddy joining the team and MerDer smooching in the scrub room. Can’t wait!!

[Christine]

What about the scene with Christina and Jackson! ahh

[Keisha]

Seriously Stacy?!? Nothing on Cristina and Owen?!? Nada. Not even a little crumb thrown? Whatever.

As a Cristina and Owen fan, I have been very disappointed in the way the writers have portrayed Owen lately. That last scene of them when Cristina is apologizing to Owen for being herself felt like her relationship with Burke again...and I don't want to see that. I don't want Cristina to change who she is for anyone. What happened to the Owen of last season when he knew what she needed? Are you writers doing this character assasination of Owen on purpose so he can move on to Teddy? Sorry, not buying what you're selling.

[SGGAL]

I am not hormonal yet I cried when I read your blog post! I haven't even watched the episode.

[Heavy]

This episode was amazing I loved every second. Oh and by the way Cristina's reaction after Owen and Arizona left was just great.

The ILY at the end was perfectly timed because it gave a sense of relief when you hear Callie say it back as the credits pop up. I just hope being a meanie isn't a habit Arizona gets in to whenever she's having a bad day cause she was a little harsh to Callie.

Glad to see the chief stepping off of his high horse, however slowly.

[ltsmiles]

Mark Sloans comment about "Cleft Palate kids" was inappropriate and insensitive. This is my fav show, and I'm disappointed that your writers could allow such a comment. "everyone's a sucker for them." Could've mentioned the specialty's importance, demand, or just how amazing it is, instead.

[Michelle]

Okay. I am going to try to be very calm while writing this, because watching the show tonight made me that mad.

What are you doing to Owen and Cristina? Why are you insistent upon ruining their characters and making it so it is impossible to root for them? Why should we care about them when they barely seem to care about each other? This is not the couple I fell in love with in season 5. They were the only reason I kept watching the show and at this point I'm ready to call it all quits. The fact that Owen doesn't get her is just horribly out of character and inconsistent.

We have no more tolerance for all of the mess you put these characters through. Adding Jackson and Teddy in as romantic interests just make me want to watch even less. Either fix Owen/Cristina and get rid of Jackson and Teddy, or I can safely say you have completely decimated one of the most hardcore fanbases you have and that have helped keep this show afloat.

[meh]

ok, i LOVE arizona

and looking forward to seeing izzie next episode. well, looking forward to seeing mer, cristina, izzie & alex together again sometime SOON, right? please?

[Yuval]

That was such a cute episode! You're doing a great job!! Will we see more Ellen next week?

[Greyswatcher]

Great episode. Absolutely heart wrenching and beautiful. This is one of the best episodes of this season so far. Seriously, I loved it.

It was clear that Arizona was undergoing a huge amount of stress throughout the episode. I actually felt like she was crumbling inside.
I liked how she only allowed herself to break during the surprise birthday party (a private moment) while maintaing her composure at the hospital. Okay, she freaked out a little during surgery, but who wouldn't under those circumstances? She was essentially "forced' into performing the surgery - 25 mil was at stake, the kids' parents wanted her to do it, the chief wanted her to do it, and she knows that the parents might just end up asking another surgeon to operate if she doesn't. She wasn't left with much options.

We all know she has authority issues, and yet in this episode we came to learn that, at the end of the day, the care and concern that she has for her patients supersedes her fear of authority figures.

And last but not least, the ending scene was simply amazing. The way Arizona looked at Callie and told her she loves her...that was such a beautiful moment. It's one of the most romantic and endearing moments i've seen on tv.

Wonderful, wonderful job. Thank you for such an amazing episode.

[turner]

This episode was ABSOLUTEly amazing. There was so much in it I don't even know where to begin. By far my favorite episode of the season, if not the series. When I heard Stacy McKee was writing an Arizona episode I was beyond excited. You write the most amazing episodes. They've been my favorite in the past and this one surely did not disappoint.

The last scence with Callie and Arizona is my favorite, too! And that was my reaction as well when I watched it. I was like "Arizona said it first! Arizona said it first!" And Callie's "You do?" *sigh* Best moment ever. I love the looks between the two of them. Beautiful. And at first I didn't like the fade to black and THEN hear Callie say "I love you too" but then after re-watching it, I loved the way it ended. I think my initial reaction was that Callie wasn't going to say it back when it faded to black, so I was nervous, but after re-watching it, I think the fade made it even better. Loved, loved, loved it!

I can't even describe the joy this episode has brought me. Thank you so much! And congrats on the baby!

[Star]

I Love This Blog! You Write As If You're Speaking With Someone Directly. Very Entertaining. It's Clever And Charming. Keep Up The Good Work :) And Try To Cut Back On Killing Main Characters. Well.....Translation: Please Don't Kill Izzie Lol

Congrats On The Pregnancy! :)

[Sue]

I am really liking Cris and Jackson pairing. They are very hot together and the chemistry is definately there. I am very interested in seeing where this love triangle goes.

[sam]

nice blog...hope everything went already with the shot.

[missin_izzie]

i wanna be pregnant too... *laughs*
that episode was fantastic and cute for several reasons: love seeing our docs outside the hospital, cristina goin' rogue and desperate, owen's kinda peculiar way of caring for yang, the hemangioblastoma still up on merder's wall, the chief starting to change for the betterment of everyone, alex shirtless and daddy-like, and of course, AMAZING ARIZONA!!

but apparently, there were some things that made me bang my head against the table: reed and jackson's blossoming new relationships with our origs, izzie's medical bills left for alex to maturely ponder about, and jennings.

but overall, it was GREAT GREAT GREAT episode! thanks stacy, shonda and the gang.=) xoxo

good thing you got the shot btw, stay safe pregnant lady. =D

[nicki]

Great blog. I now know more about you than Owen does about Cristina.

How could you make someone like Cristina SUBMIT to a man?

How could you make Owen so nasty and full of himself?

People feel he is using her, but maybe that was what you were going for.

We get it Shonda YOU DON'T LIKE CRISTINA!

[Jiyeon]

Thanks! I love this episode. It was so moving!

[Adoc]

Amazing episode and amazing Arizona storyline last night! I really liked the last scene as well, it was so great...this couple is perfect ;o)