Krista Vernoff on "Holidaze"...

Original Airdate: 11-19-09

“Do not waste yourself in rejection; do not bark against the bad, but chant the beauty of the good.”

~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

I read that today in a friend's Facebook status update.  Yes, I was Facebook lurking as a means of procrastination just like I was tweeting as a means of procrastination.  And yes, Shonda did publicly tweet-reprimand me, which I took with a grain of salt seeing as she had tweeted 20 times in the prior ten minutes. 

What was my point here? 

Oh, the Emerson quote.  

It made me pause. 

It made me breathe. 

For a brief moment, I was overcome with gratitude, not only for Emerson’s wise words, but for people who take the time to tweet and facebook-post inspirational quotes that get me to pause the incessant cycle of thoughts that spiral through my brain every day. 

"Do not bark against the bad, but chant the beauty of the good."

Doesn't it make you breathe a little differently, just for a minute?  That quote is my gift to you today, just as it was a gift to me. And seeing as the theme of tonight's episode was Gifts, it seems appropriate. You know what the biggest gift of tonight's episode was? 

Sara Ramirez singing Silent Night a capella while Chandra Wilson acts her ass off at the dinner table. Moments like that, gifts like that... 

They make me love my job even more.  In my lifetime, I have never seen a more powerful performer than Sara Ramirez when she sings live. I hope someday you get to see her, but until then, this was a little taste.  It was Shonda's stroke of genius -- her little Christmas gift to me, I like to think, although really, she probably intended it as a gift to all of you. Still, I am grateful. The other gift of this scene is that I got to write Bailey's words and put them on television. Those words were important to me. Without getting too personal, I will admit that there are some things going on in my life that mirror some of the things going on in Bailey’s life.  If you’ve read this blog before, you know that we writers frequently cull from our personal lives to come up with the stories we tell on the show each week. (As I write this, Joan Rater is in the writer’s room, dramatically performing some of her favorite moments of life with Tony Phelan – and our writer’s assistant Austin is frantically trying to keep pace and write it all down. And Bill Harper is doing funny accents, which is really neither here nor there.) My point is, I tend to rape and pillage my own life to bring you drama every week. In this episode, for example, when the girl talks about hiking the Inca Trail? That’s because I hiked the Inca Trail, so I know how to describe it.  (I’m averse to research so anytime I can just write what I know, I choose to.) And when Bailey defends her decision to leave a marriage that was no longer feeding her soul? That was no longer an example she wanted to set for her young child? I’m not getting too personal here, but I’m saying, I was happy to be able to put those words on TV. Bailey doesn’t need to be berated by her dad, see? Cause Bailey? Beats the crap out of herself way harder than anyone else ever could.  But it was nice, the way her Dad came around in the end. And I think he was right that Bailey should’ve called and told him about her divorce.  

Okay, what else can I tell you? I’d like to give you behind the scenes tidbits from the shooting of the episode, but I had the damn flu the whole time it was shooting so I was barely there. Oh! I know! Let’s talk about the fact that we did a holiday episode without Izzie! The Twitterers have been berating us for weeks – how COULD you, they ask? Izzie LOVES the holidays! To you, I say, dude… I know. I feel your pain. I wrote the last holiday episode. I remember vividly when Izzie helped Alex study for his exams because, “It’s what JESUS would freakin’ DO!” I remember when she and George and Meredith lay beneath the Christmas tree, soaking in the lights. I missed her like crazy in this episode and you know who else missed her? Even though he didn’t talk about it? Alex. That’s why he wouldn’t sing Christmas carols in the surgery. That’s why he didn’t show up for dinner at Meredith’s. It breaks my heart, the way she left him, and that she didn’t show up for the holidays. I think he thought she might. Because Izzie LOVES the holidays. But she didn’t and yeah, it sucks.  

But we’re not barking about the bad, we’re chanting the beauty so let’s talk about the Chief/Arizona/Owen Christmas jam! I have to admit, I have never loved dailies more, ever. I must have watched them sing that song for 20 minutes straight.  Those dailies were truly a gift during my flu-ridden misery. They lifted my whole heart up and made it feel all floaty and giddy for hours. I hope the scene did the same for you.   And since we’re chanting the good… Can we talk about the hot hot hot HOT Owen Cristina kissing??? Oh my God, I’m like a fan girl, I can’t help it.  And how ‘bout the scene where Owen whispers into Teddy’s mouth, “I’m in love with Cristina.”  I wrote it. I pictured it. But when I saw it? I seriously threw up a little in my mouth. It was SO brutal – and what was so brutal is that Owen didn’t mean to be brutal. He clearly loves them both. Which is…impossible. And devastating. And BRUTAL.   I mean it – how could Teddy not love him? Playing guitar one minute, torturedly whispering into her mouth the next… How that will all play out, I do not know. I mean it, I don’t know. We’re a little behind in the writer’s room. But I’m as excited as you are to see how it all goes down! 

There’s so much more in this episode – Mark Sloan becoming the sexiest Grandpa on TV and Meredith making a deal with the devil and Arizona and Derek and Mark paying their own hard-earned money to save the life of a very sick little boy. It made my heart happy, that story. And so did the story of the woman living without a heart for all that time and surviving. Both of those were our gift to you, to send you into the holiday season with hope and optimism.  My friend Peter called me today and when I said, “How are you?” He said, “I’m trying, actively, to renew my faith and my hope and my joy and my optimism. They’ve all gone missing, which is not okay with me.” I love Peter. I love that when his faith goes missing, he doesn’t sit and feel sorry for himself. He goes turning over rocks and stones, looking for it. He prays and he calls friends and he says out loud what he’s feeling. Which, in itself, demonstrates that his faith is not as far away as he imagines. That’s the feeling I hope this episode left you with. That miracles are possible…That a simple song can lift your spirits…. That speaking your truth, or opening your checkbook, or offering a simple apology or making an attempt to understand another’s point of view can turn your whole day or your whole year around. That life doesn’t always happen the way we hope or plan but that that doesn’t matter. How we  greet what life throws our way is all that matters. “Do not waste yourself in rejection; do not bark against the bad, but chant the beauty of the good.”   Happy Thanksgiving. And Merry Christmas. And May There Be Peace on Earth. 

Comments

[pepper]

I don't want Cristina to be broken.

[Kerri]

I did some reading around message boards tonight and was completely stunned how harshly people are speaking of the episode. I loved it. Some parts were a little rushed but I got why you did it - to give us all the holiday before the break. So much good Krista!

Happy Holidays to you and the writers, cast and crew. Thank you for a wonderful season so far. I am looking forward to the rest of the year.

[Priya]

I didn't like this episode! It was too fast paced and lacked that special 'something' that we saw in "Invest In Love" and "I Saw What I Saw.." I did like the scene between Owen & Teddy, but nothing really else! Sara Ramirez has a beautiful voice though. That can't be said enough. I'm really bummed
:(

[Ashley]

Loved the episode, bit I thought it was way too out there.

I especially loved the Mark and Lexie storyline - if it had been more focused on. I was expecting a huge angst filled scene of Lexie and Mark, but instead, Lexie cuts her finger off (hilarious though).

Anyhow, they interested me the most and k absolutely love those two. I hope to see more of them!

[Simone]

Well written and full of emotion. I was inspired by the storylines and I too found hope and faith as I watched this episode. Thank you.

[Gail]

Really. "People" buffing you on twitter about Izzie? It's the same person, LOL. please don't mind them.

Loved MerDer :) and McSexie and Calzone. Love them.

[Karen]

Great Episode! Thanks for spreading a little holiday cheer. I was even digging cranky Alex. Although, what Izzie is doing to him is pretty brutal.
Right there with you on the amazing hot Cristina/Owen kiss. Seriously Kevin does all sorts of magic with his mouth. Not so fond of the chat he has with Teddy. I'm not buying that he's in love with her - he may care about her, but as he says, his heart belongs to Cristina. I know Kevin said that he hoped viewers would be torn, but we aren't. We don't feel bad for Teddy. She had no place to tell Owen how she felt, when she knew he was involved with Cristina. That Teddy is no good. Cristina needs and deserves a cardio god that isn't screwing her in some way. I hope you guys haven't written yourselves in a corner on this one. One last thing, there is a lot of Owen bashing going on. Please be true to his character - if nothing else for Kevin's sake. He's an amazing actor and stand-up guy and I'd hate the backlash to negatively effect him.

[Paula]

No comments, very disappointed ...

[Riley]

Honestly, I am tired of all the drama Owen and Cristina produce. Of they could just take the back seat a little and let the others get time I will unhate them.

Especially Crisina. She just annoys me.

[serenequeen]

No mention on how the actors thought about the show? It's quite different.

While I love Lexie, and Mark, I did not really feel them in this episode. Everything was so.. Rushed. I wanted to, but I can't.

Meredith and Chief scene at the end made me laugh.

[brian]

I love Lexi Grey. Seriously. "You talk to her, or no more sex."

She is absolutely hilarious and I hope that you give her more dramatic scenes because she's quote good at it. The actress is adorable! Also wishing that you mature Lexie a little. You always seem to make her out of place - she's been on the show since Season 3, I hope you make something more of her, she's absolutely a delight.

[Yang LOVER]

HOW CAN OWEN LOVE THEM BOTH??????

Cristina NEEDS a happy ending. I hate seeing her so sad, or heartbroken. Enough beating up Yang!

I don't want to see her left at an alter again. OR being choked in bed.

I want to see Cristina become a brilliant suregon and have Owen Hunt by her side.

Teddy needs to move on, and grow up. Owen too.

[FRITZIE - Florida]

Sad to hear that this is the last episode f the year.

Enjoyed Sara's singing! Absolutely loved it. And owen playing the guitar, and Bailey and her father brought me to tears.

Cristina/Owen/Teddy - I wanted to barf at their kiss. I think that there is too much exposure
On them. Teddy, also, I do not like.

Mark/Lexie/Kid - people at imdb say that this could have 'clicked' more if it was it's own episode. it just went too progressive that
Viewers probably didn't get a feel of what we were supposed to, or if not, how we wanted to.

[Rizzie]

Great episode Krista! really sets up the holiday spirit!! I really like it, the music was beautiful and Sara's singing was awesome!
And you've done the Inka Trail?? excellent! I'm sooo looking forward to doing it myself! Merry Christmas from Peru!

[Jee]

Hoping that the Mark/Lexie storyline will be continued. Was expecting something along the lines of then spawn kid (yup.) coming in developing the relationship of mark and lexie, but that doesn't seem to be the case.

Meredith and Derek, who I also love, survive bombs and drownings and if Mark and Lexie can't survive a hormonal, pregnant, bitchy 18 year old.. well.

Really, I wanted to see an angry Lexie. I would have chopped my finger off to and then threw my finger at Mark. I was wishing for drama.

[Erin]

Can I just say that "Sara Ramirez singing Silent Night a capella while Chandra Wilson acts her ass off at the dinner table. Moments like that, gifts like that... " um yeah that was the best christmas present EVER!!!! although im still not sure what bailey said in this scene because i was too concentrated on sara. The only christmas present that would be better would be to see more of arizona and callie showing their love on camera. the little pieces we get is almost torcher we all want more :)

Personally I think that you should make sara's track available for purchase at the music lounge. Ill buy it and i know a lot of others would too!

[HeartSleeve in Ocean View]

I loved it. There's precious little that is "typical GA" anymore, but this was character as well as plot driven with juicy bits for everyone, a little edgy even as you were gifting us prior to the lonnnng break before another new epp of GA shows up in 2010. (Maybe I loved it because the MW folks were in such grand short supply tonight!!) ANyway, what's truly amazing is that I did not realize Izzy was a no-show until I read your blog!! That's def good news for me, as she edges farther and farther out of view. She's a good little actress, but she is NOT God's Gift to Grey's Anatomy.

Anyway, BRAVO !!! I'll miss you for the next 5-6 weeks or whenever GA resumes, but I thank all of you for a great warm Holiday send-off. And I hope you ALL have a great holiday break!

[Lisa]

The episode sucked.

Complete dissapointment. I love the holidays, I, like Teddy, am a sucker for them. The last holiday episode was full of emotion. Tonight's episode? Not so much.

Where is Grey's going? The show hasn't show any direction in the season.

[Eadonn]

Sara Ramirez is amazing. Well done.

[Linda]

You were breaking my heart tonight and was almost in tears when Cristina was ready to let Owen go! Cristina has matured so much to put it out there for Owen to leave her! The kiss was amazing, these two belong together! I love the wild, animalistic passion between Cristina and Owen, just hot!

[Cara]

I enjoyed the episode and all, and I always love your blogs, but seriously? Three tension-filled holidays in one hour? I get that the characters are realistic, and most of the time I love that. But I watch tv to be entertained, not depressed because of family fights. That's why I can't watch Brothers & Sisters anymore. Couldn't we just have had the happy-ending surgeries, and some happy holidays instead of such awful awkwardness and tension and bickering???

Also - if Mark and Lexie break up over something this stupid (or anything, really), and/or if he cheats on her with Addison during the crossover, I'm seriously done with GA forever. Don't care how hot the rest of them are, they're the sweetest, most giving couple on tv and if that gets screwed up I'm done.

Lastly, happy holidays to you & the writers, and best of luck with whatever it is from Bailey's life that's popping up in yours.

[Carly]

Chanting the beauty of the good:

The lunch scene with Mer, Alex and Cristina. Fantastic.

James Pickens, Jr. - wow he is doing a wonderful job and I am so glad to see him get a big storyline.

Derek - every scene he is great. So much more than just McDreamy boyfriend and I am glad this season is giving him a chance to show it.

Owen loves Cristina.

Have a wonderful Thanksgiving Krista

[lynette]

it was an amazing episode, but does this mean that there are no new episodes until next year?

[Cris]

I am so upset with this stupid "triangle" business! I will never like the Teddy character ever! I still love Owen and Cristina but if you keep pushing Teddy between them and I will have to walk away from my favorite couple! I understand there needs to be drama to keep things interesting but there is so many other things that could complicate things for CO and keep to their passion and eyes for each other only love!

[Anne]

Well I love holiday episodes and holiday music so 2 good things about this episode already. Two patients who against all odds were saved - another plus. Loved the fact that the trio Derek/Sloan and Arizona put up the money to fund the instruments and due to that they will make a fortune as they can now sell the rights to a company to make them for all hospitals so more kids can be saved. The girl with heart problem was charming - loved the snow story and the romance at the end for her. Twist of fate that Sloan who turned his back on his pregnant girlfriend way back when ends up with a pregnant daughter. I know he can step up to the plate he is a good guy like Derek said he is a different man now. Liked his chats with Derek about this. The parts I wasn't keen on are Bailey fighting at dinner table - it may happen but really they could have done that in the kitchen. Though I am totally behind Bailey but do think she should have told her parents that she was divorcing her spouse. Didn't think it right that the Joe called Meredith - why didn't he call the chief's wife? or just call him a cab? I hope Meredith tells Derek about the Chief. Glad the chief apologized to Derek and glad the chief is using his time productively in helping Meredith and hopefully other residents perfect their skills. The whole episode seemed a bit rushed and I would have liked at least half an hour for each holiday and a happy ending. Thank you for Meredith and Derek moments and giving Mark more on screentime. I liked what your friend Peter said. I agree the best thing about entertainment is the way the actors/entertainers touch the lives of people they will never meet. A song, a tv show can lift the spirits and give you insight to think of things differently or just give you joy. While this show did have some moments like this the ending was not a moment I would have chosen. A hopeful moment would have been a better ending or a quiet moment contemplating snow while cuddling on the couch. Or having it end with Bailey being hugged by her dad.