Joan Rater on "(I Always Feel Like) Somebody's Watchin' Me"...

Original Airdate: 10-1-09

Hi and WELCOME TO SEASON SIX!  Kind of amazing if you think about it.  It’s amazing to me, at least. I’ve never had the same job for this long.  In TV, there’s a lot of hopping from show to show, a new job every year, so the fact that Tony and I haven’t hopped for awhile, we’ve gotten to spend 5 years with the same characters (on screen and off), has been such a great experience.  So Yay!  

We had this conference at the end of last year, all the writers, where Shonda asked us to imagine what we wanted Season Six to look like.  We were all given the task of thinking, dreaming, imagining what we wanted for our show, our characters.  We all had to present our ideas, and because it’s Shonda, there were prizes.  For originality, for best ideas, for most interesting presentation, and because there was this sort of formal presentation-like quality to it, it became kind of scary.  But once everyone finished complaining and procrastinating and avoiding and stuff, people came up with some really amazing presentations.  There was a puppet show.  Songs were written.  There were etch-a-sketch art drawings of operations. What I decided to do for my presentation was go be a resident for a day.  So I got a trauma surgeon at County Hospital to agree to let me follow him around for 24 hours.  Oh my God, people!  I got to go into an OR.  Blood was splattered!  It was awesome!  Anyway, I’m sharing this with you to tell you that Season Six is going to be awesome.  People came up with some amazing ideas.  There was passion.  There was humor.   There was nudity!  Not really.  Actually that was a rule.  Shonda said no nudity and no live animals.  But we were all inspired and stuff.  Which was Shonda’s point.  To inspire us.  And so along the lines of inspiration… I’d like to use this blog to share with you some of the things that inspired me during the writing of this episode. If that sounds really boring to you, I apologize, I’ll try to make it interesting and, as a little prize for reading the blog, I will reveal a secret about myself at the very end.  Something I have never told a soul.  But you have to keep reading…

After Richard dropped the bomb that the hospital would be merging with Mercy West, we knew that this episode would have to deal with people’s paranoia.  Because merger means change.  And change means fear.  And the worst kind of fear is the kind that lives in your head.  The dark thoughts.  The paranoia.  The worst case scenarios that you play out that usually don’t come true.  And with Richard holing himself up inside his office, it’s just a breeding ground for rumor, fear and paranoia.  So, when we started talking about this episode, the theme of paranoia emerged pretty quickly.  And right away I thought of doing a medical story about a paranoid schizophrenic.  And my inspiration for the story of Tom and Jodie came from a kid I knew growing up named Jon.  I babysat for him.  His mom, Barbara and my mom are friends.  We went on vacations with their family.  And he grew up and became a paranoid schizophrenic.  My mom recently told me a story that when Jon (who’s now 30) needs a haircut, Barbara is unavailable all day for golf or bridge because she never knows how long it will take for Jon to find a barber shop he’s okay with.  She has to drive from barbershop to barbershop, waiting for him to get a ‘good feeling’ about one.  It might happen right away, it might take all day.  And she’s patient and kind and she just does it because she’s his mother. I was really moved when my mom told me this story because I know these people and I know how painful this has been for her but how she just handles it, with dignity and humor.  I can just picture the scene in the car as she pulls up to yet another one, “Well, Jon?”  I can totally see her trying to talk him into giving one a try.  And I can see him wanting to do it, to please her, but ultimately being too afraid and telling her they have to try another one.  I can just picture the front seat of that car, so full of love and disappointment and fear as they negotiate this very mundane thing that for them has become anything but mundane.  Then the story became what it became, with Tom choking Lexie, and falling down the stairs creating a real dilemma for Jodie.  And the idea of Bailey pricking her finger to show Tom that she’s human, she’s a mother and she’s a doctor and she’s human, that idea came from Krista, but the original inspiration was the complicated love that I’ve witnessed between these family friends.  

So we knew what our main medical story was going to be and we decided that we wanted everyone in the hospital, the doctors, nurses, techs, everyone, to be scared.  Scared to leave the hospital, scared to give up any edge.  Just scared.  No one is safe and that kind of infection running through the hospital is easy to relate to.  In the Writer’s Room there are a few of us who operate in a perpetual state of paranoia, so on the one hand it was easy to write that stuff and fun to tell funny stories about our crazy thoughts.  But here’s the thing about crazy thoughts - sometimes they aren’t crazy.  Case in point – here is an email I wrote to the writers in July telling them about a crazy, paranoid night I spent worrying about my cat -

“ Last night I woke up at 4 am and remembered that at about 2 am I had heard some weird cat meowing, like a cat dying, and I suddenly realized that our cat was dead.  I knew, just KNEW that the sound I heard was Fern being killed by a coyote.  Now, Fern spends every night outside and then at EXACTLY 5 am she appears at the porch door outside our bedroom and meows to be let in.  But last night I knew that Fern would not appear on schedule because I just knew she was dead.  Oh, because not only had I heard the weird cat meowing at 2, but there had also been some weird dog barking at about 10 pm that in my 4 am head meant a coyote had been stalking the neighborhood earlier and had settled on my house to wait patiently outside of until the perfect opportunity to kill my cat arose.  At 4 am this is what I knew had happened FOR SURE.  So what did I do?  I woke Tony and told him the cat was dead.  I went downstairs and began googling how to help your children deal with a dead pet advice.  I googled the sound that a cat being killed by a coyote makes.  I considered not telling Sally and hoping she'd never notice, I prayed, I went outside (at 4 am!) and looked for (blood?) evidence, I thought about what a perfect cat she had been.  I blamed myself for not being more vigilant about keeping the cat in at night. I let myself off the hook because I, told myself, Fern loved being outside at night and who was I to deny her her animal urges, I decided that I would tell my kids some version of "Fern lived a great life, a cat life, and as part of a cat's life there is danger, the circle of life, etc", I decided I'd tell the kids Fern got cancer and we put her to sleep, I decided we'd never get another cat. I decided we'd get 2 kittens right away.  I decided to get another dog.  And then at 5 am, on the dot … Fern came to the door outside our bedroom and meowed to be let in.”

We laughed about my craziness in the writer’s room the next day and then guess what happened a MONTH later?!!!  The cat disappeared.  For good. I don’t mean to make everyone all sad with the story of my dead cat, I’m just saying, sometimes you are just being paranoid and sometimes you aren’t, so what are you supposed to do?  Be like Lexie and live you life in that kind of heightened fearful state?  No, you have to keep going, walk the dog, eat dinner, live … you have to find a way to stop living in fear … Especially if you’re a surgeon … you need to be able to put your fear aside …

Which is why I loved the scene where Owen, Derek and Mark take Cristina, Meredith and Lexie to the baseball field.  This is one of the first times Owen has seen Cristina’s intensity.  And I love that he makes her leave the hospital, focus on something else.  That’s why he’s so good for her.  The scene was actually inspired by Shonda saying, let’s do a scene where they’re all playing baseball. But when I finally saw it, it makes me want to write more scenes like that, with our doctors outside of the hospital, little glimpses of them in real life.  One of my favorite Grey’s moments of all time was this Season One scene where Meredith and Cristina are outside jogging and they stop and they’re laying in the grass and they decide they need to cry.  And they’re like, “Now?  Should we cry right now?”  Or something like that.  Anyway, I love those little glimpses of our people as “real” people.

Back to the inspiration … Izzie’s story was very much inspired by my friend Lynn, who has cancer and runs her own company. A big concern for her while she gets treated is making sure her employees have confidence in her and don’t see her as sick or weak.  She told me that that went into her decision to get a really good wig which looks just like her hair did before chemo.  It’s to put her clients and employees at ease.  We live in Los Angeles and it gets really hot here and Lynn has said there are some days where she just looks at that wig and it’s the last thing she wants to put on, but she does.  And, like Izzie, who used this as an opportunity to ‘try being a redhead”, Lynn also got a spikey short ‘weekend’ wig to try out a more fun hairstyle.  Although, at home on the weekend, she usually goes wigless, her daughter prefers it and says she likes the peachfuzz.  

I love that scene where Alex brings Izzie her 2 pm pill and a banana and water.  She doesn’t want Alex to hover but he can’t help it, he loves her and that’s what you do for someone you love, especially when they’re trying to pretend they’re fine.  And I love it when he tells her at the end that she can’t pretend she isn’t sick, that she needs to take responsibility for her illness and he can’t be her nurse.  One thing we’ve talked about in the Writer’s Room a lot is the fact that we have these two married couples right now – Izzie and Alex,  and Meredith and Derek, who had very different weddings, for very different reasons and we really want to explore what the idea of commitment means for them this season.  

When we were writing the episode we realized that it didn’t seem right that Meredith would be paranoid, which is when we came up with the idea that because of her chaotic childhood, she gets calm in a crisis.  It’s when she’s at her best.  It’s what makes her a great doctor, makes her the glue that holds all her friends together, and it’s what Derek needs right now because whatever it is that’s going on with him and the Chief looks like it’s going to get worse before it gets better …

And finally … the inspiration for the funny Cristina stuff with the kids came from my daughter, Sally. Every night when I get home she hides and I have to find her.  But whenever I get close, she yells out orders from her hiding place, “You haven’t looked in the kitchen”, “try upstairs”, and then when I finally find her, she gets upset.  She HATES being found!  And therefore I HATE HIDE AND SEEK.  

Look at that, big things are happening people, secrets are being revealed this season, even in blogs!  I’m telling you, Season Six is going to be good!  

Comments

[Samantha]

Loved, Loved, Loved everything about this episode. Especially the baseball scene at the end. How fun for the couples to be together.

Love the writers blog and inside scoop. Sorry about your cat!

[Susan]

IMO Grey's has lost its' spark. It used to be piffy and funny and there was very little of that last night. I watch TV to get away from the rigors of daily life not to be brought down by it at night too! This show has been a downer 2 weeks running and I'm about to give up on the entire ABC line-up and just watch football.

[ella]

Really enjoyed this episode. Loved Meredith and Cristina's scenes, and every bit of Alex and Izzie. Love the Fab4 dynamic, and Bailey when she's not on Peds.

I'm thrilled to see the Fab4 focused on becoming doctors again. Also love that there are actual couples now, instead of all the random, and very tiresome bed hopping.

Was happy - happy - to see the interns gone. Please let that be the end of them. Total waste of screentime.

Agree with many previous comments that there was WAY, WAY too much Lexi in this episode.

Loved the energy of this episode, though, and how all of the characters were shown interacting. This has been such a great start to the season!

[Rosa]

Once again, a great episode. Cristina in Peds was funny, the game at the end was great and Alex and Izzie were wonderful. I'm even starting to warm to Mark and Lexie. Great seeing more of Lexie than we have in the past. Its allowing me to get to know her and I think its great (so no snide "its Lexie's Anatomy" comments from me). Derek is also rocking as the should be Chief, Bailey is more like Bailey again, I'm starting to like Arizona and I can't wait for more Cristina and Owen. I can't say I miss Meredith or MerDer at all because its nice to see some of the others for a change.

[Terry]

I can already tell this season is going to be awesome. I want to really thank you for your dedication to what you are writing. You have the uncanny abilitiy to bring about every human emotion possible. I laughed, i gasped, I was angery, and of course i cried. What a ride. Thanks.

[Jen]

I hope that you address the chief's problem at some point, because I truly believe that he's got some issues. But I loved all the couples and how cute they were together - none of the interactions had the contrived undertone. The end made me happy too, which I like. And, although I'm finding myself liking all the characters right now, except the chief, I love love love Arizona.

[ole grey mer]

TOO MUCH LEXIE...DID YOU HEAR ME??? TOO MUCH LEXIE.

[Kelly]

It's not Derek's Anatomy, Bailey's Anatomy, Izzie's Anatomy. It's Grey's Anatomy but the show works best as an ensemble and I want to see more of Arizona,Callie,Lexie,Mark, Bailey and Owen and know they aren't taking over the show just cause they get more storylines. I enjoyed Lexie this episode. More Lexie please! More Alex! More Callie! I look forward to ALOT of Lexie and Meredith next week. And I look forward to more of The Chief and Derek storyline too.

[Melissa]

Great episode! I love, love, love the three couples who were playing baseball at the end especially Mark & Lexie. I also love how sweet and caring Alex was with Izzie. I really enjoyed seeing more of Lexie and getting to know her a little better. I am really looking forward to all the Lexie and Meredith interaction next week!

[J]

Not enough Lexie!

[mols]

hi joan and writers,
if you guys are going to put lexie at the front and center of the show, could you please make her a little bit more likable? i've been watching the show since the beginning, and would definitely prefer to see mer at the front and center but realize that's not even possible right now because of ellen's state. if anyone is going to be at the front and center now it should be one of the other richly developed characters that have been around since the beginning; alex, cristina, or even derek for that matter. lexie's just bumbling, stuttering, whiny, for lack of a better just plain old annoying. too much lexie = very sad molly.

i loved alex and izzie's interactions in this episode. i think that their development as a married couple is coming along great, and i really hope that it continues like this. love seeing alex as caretaker and love that they're openly communicating. the chemistry between katherine and justin is amazing, continue to take advantage of this please!! (and is their marriage consummated? i hope so. and could we please have a love scene? just one? por favor?) your comment about them being very different from merder scares me a tiny bit, especially because marriages don't have the greatest track record on this show. i know that whatever happens happens but i think that alex and iz should still survive even though their marriage was very rushed. and even though they weren't in the same place relationship-wise as merder, they still love each other very much; and based off of what i've seen on screen would have gotten married eventually anyways even if the cancer hadn't happened. it would be really nice and rewarding for the audience to see by season/series end that both of the married couples stayed together, just to show that there isn't just one way to have a marriage. merder and a/i have always been very different relationships, and i'm sure they'll have different style marriages, just please don't break them up because they're different.

[as;ldfkj]

Whatever you do, DO NOT break up Izzie and Alex. They need to stay together, and they need to stay happy. If not, then I will literally die. I don't think you want to be responsible for someones death ;) And please please please do an episode where he takes her to Iowa to meet his mom!

P.S.
This episode was adorable and made me feel all warm and happy inside. Thank you!

[Kerri]

Loved it! Everything was really good but my favorite scene of the night was the Alex/Izzie banana scene. Alex and Izzie are my favorites and I have been enjoying them together so much this season. Thank you for writing them.

A question about Lexie - if she is a second year resident shouldn't she have interns? The others did when they were second years so I'm confused why Lexie does not.

[Victoria M]

I keep expecting George to show up any minute, but alas...

the show needs more moments like the baseball scene.

[Tasha]

Loved all of the Christina/Arizona scenes. Especially when Christina whips out a "bear" voice. Sandra Oh never disappoints.

I'm loving the progression of Alex and Izzie. They've come a long way since season 1.

I really love Arizona and Callie together. They're sweet, playful, and fun to watch. However, like previous posters noted, let them kiss, or hold hands, or physically act like a couple- the other couples on the show do. Their relationship is going to be fun to watch- especially with the great acting of Sara Ramirez and Jessica Capshaw.

I never thought I would say this, but I miss Meredith. I understand the situation, but I can't wait for more of Ellen Pompeo. I'm liking Lexie more, but she's no Mere.

The baseball scene at the end made the entire episode for me. It was just really great.

[Michele W]

Seriously? Last nights episode was per GA & loved every minute of it! Christina in Peds was fab! She is at her best when unfamiliar territory ( think meeting Mama Burke). I've been hooked from Season 1 all due to the snappy writing & blend of the actors who deliver. Thank you for bringing can't wait for it Thursday tv.

[Jen]

Wasn't that the intern from Season 1 with the baby that turned blue who had the almost severed arm with the baby in this episode?

[JD]

I miss George! I felt that Arizona's character seems to be filling his void a bit. I did enjoy how Izzie mentioned missing him and I hope that he continues to be brought up throughout the season.

[Emily]

Um, yeah.. the jogging was definitely Season 2. "Make Me Lose Control" - episode 2x03.

Otherwise, good blog, good episode!

[LoveMeSomeSlexie]

Love the McFamily scenes of Slexie and MerDer together at the end of episode. LOVED the baseball scene with Slexie, Owen/Cristina, & Mer/Der...We really need more scenes like that on Grey's!!

The Mark/Lexie love story remains my renewed life force when it comes to Grey's....LOVE THEM!!! Season 5 was a rebirth for Grey's, thanks to Slexie. I am so jazzed for S6 & Slexie already with the first 3 epis...What an AMAZING start!!! I'm still waiting for Mark & Lexie to say their ILYs to each other...I have a strong sense it will be EPIC!!! I really want to see Mark's backstory & childhood explored this season and I want it to help bring Slexie even closer together.

I'm still not on the Owen/Cristina bandwagon. They have their sweet moments, but I'm not feeling the love there. I also still miss Burke and Burke & Cristina. They were so awesome together!!!

I think MerDer is a trainwreck, and I have never been a fan of either character much less the pairing.

Speaking of trainwrecks, Izzie & Alex bore me to tears as always. I really wish Izzie just would have "gone towards the light". I love Izzie & KH, but Izzie/Alex has never done it for me. She was much better with Denny--dead or alive!

Loving Callie & Arizona!

[SHeila]

Bailey pricking her finger... GENIOUS!!

[mamaloa]

I love Owen and Christina and Alex and Izzy. I don't care for Mark and Lexie. I wish it would be Mark and Callie. This episode was ok. I understand being fearful of something, especially when jobs are on the line. Did you have to cut Olivia though? Why?

[Rachel]

Alex is the MOST AMAZING MAN!! I know he isn't real, but I really want to find a guy like Alex. Where are you guy like Alex?!?! I'm waiting!

[Chelsea]

This was a solid episode. It wasn't all over the map with emotions and I think the Cristina/Izzie storylines were well done. That being said, what's with all the little Grey? Few of us like her. And I know you all see her as that pretty, smiling, popular girl but we kind of are annoyed by her and by how many scenes she has. I don't even like Meredith, but I'd rather watch her than Lexie. Also Bailey was strong in this episode, thank you for that. I have missed her Nazi character and this ep I saw it come back a little bit. Missing Callie, though. I hope you guys will not write out a character that has grown to be so loved.

[Kim]

This episode was great! It was the first time in a long time where I actually went back and rewatched it.