Joan Rater on "(I Always Feel Like) Somebody's Watchin' Me"...

Original Airdate: 10-1-09

Hi and WELCOME TO SEASON SIX!  Kind of amazing if you think about it.  It’s amazing to me, at least. I’ve never had the same job for this long.  In TV, there’s a lot of hopping from show to show, a new job every year, so the fact that Tony and I haven’t hopped for awhile, we’ve gotten to spend 5 years with the same characters (on screen and off), has been such a great experience.  So Yay!  

We had this conference at the end of last year, all the writers, where Shonda asked us to imagine what we wanted Season Six to look like.  We were all given the task of thinking, dreaming, imagining what we wanted for our show, our characters.  We all had to present our ideas, and because it’s Shonda, there were prizes.  For originality, for best ideas, for most interesting presentation, and because there was this sort of formal presentation-like quality to it, it became kind of scary.  But once everyone finished complaining and procrastinating and avoiding and stuff, people came up with some really amazing presentations.  There was a puppet show.  Songs were written.  There were etch-a-sketch art drawings of operations. What I decided to do for my presentation was go be a resident for a day.  So I got a trauma surgeon at County Hospital to agree to let me follow him around for 24 hours.  Oh my God, people!  I got to go into an OR.  Blood was splattered!  It was awesome!  Anyway, I’m sharing this with you to tell you that Season Six is going to be awesome.  People came up with some amazing ideas.  There was passion.  There was humor.   There was nudity!  Not really.  Actually that was a rule.  Shonda said no nudity and no live animals.  But we were all inspired and stuff.  Which was Shonda’s point.  To inspire us.  And so along the lines of inspiration… I’d like to use this blog to share with you some of the things that inspired me during the writing of this episode. If that sounds really boring to you, I apologize, I’ll try to make it interesting and, as a little prize for reading the blog, I will reveal a secret about myself at the very end.  Something I have never told a soul.  But you have to keep reading…

After Richard dropped the bomb that the hospital would be merging with Mercy West, we knew that this episode would have to deal with people’s paranoia.  Because merger means change.  And change means fear.  And the worst kind of fear is the kind that lives in your head.  The dark thoughts.  The paranoia.  The worst case scenarios that you play out that usually don’t come true.  And with Richard holing himself up inside his office, it’s just a breeding ground for rumor, fear and paranoia.  So, when we started talking about this episode, the theme of paranoia emerged pretty quickly.  And right away I thought of doing a medical story about a paranoid schizophrenic.  And my inspiration for the story of Tom and Jodie came from a kid I knew growing up named Jon.  I babysat for him.  His mom, Barbara and my mom are friends.  We went on vacations with their family.  And he grew up and became a paranoid schizophrenic.  My mom recently told me a story that when Jon (who’s now 30) needs a haircut, Barbara is unavailable all day for golf or bridge because she never knows how long it will take for Jon to find a barber shop he’s okay with.  She has to drive from barbershop to barbershop, waiting for him to get a ‘good feeling’ about one.  It might happen right away, it might take all day.  And she’s patient and kind and she just does it because she’s his mother. I was really moved when my mom told me this story because I know these people and I know how painful this has been for her but how she just handles it, with dignity and humor.  I can just picture the scene in the car as she pulls up to yet another one, “Well, Jon?”  I can totally see her trying to talk him into giving one a try.  And I can see him wanting to do it, to please her, but ultimately being too afraid and telling her they have to try another one.  I can just picture the front seat of that car, so full of love and disappointment and fear as they negotiate this very mundane thing that for them has become anything but mundane.  Then the story became what it became, with Tom choking Lexie, and falling down the stairs creating a real dilemma for Jodie.  And the idea of Bailey pricking her finger to show Tom that she’s human, she’s a mother and she’s a doctor and she’s human, that idea came from Krista, but the original inspiration was the complicated love that I’ve witnessed between these family friends.  

So we knew what our main medical story was going to be and we decided that we wanted everyone in the hospital, the doctors, nurses, techs, everyone, to be scared.  Scared to leave the hospital, scared to give up any edge.  Just scared.  No one is safe and that kind of infection running through the hospital is easy to relate to.  In the Writer’s Room there are a few of us who operate in a perpetual state of paranoia, so on the one hand it was easy to write that stuff and fun to tell funny stories about our crazy thoughts.  But here’s the thing about crazy thoughts - sometimes they aren’t crazy.  Case in point – here is an email I wrote to the writers in July telling them about a crazy, paranoid night I spent worrying about my cat -

“ Last night I woke up at 4 am and remembered that at about 2 am I had heard some weird cat meowing, like a cat dying, and I suddenly realized that our cat was dead.  I knew, just KNEW that the sound I heard was Fern being killed by a coyote.  Now, Fern spends every night outside and then at EXACTLY 5 am she appears at the porch door outside our bedroom and meows to be let in.  But last night I knew that Fern would not appear on schedule because I just knew she was dead.  Oh, because not only had I heard the weird cat meowing at 2, but there had also been some weird dog barking at about 10 pm that in my 4 am head meant a coyote had been stalking the neighborhood earlier and had settled on my house to wait patiently outside of until the perfect opportunity to kill my cat arose.  At 4 am this is what I knew had happened FOR SURE.  So what did I do?  I woke Tony and told him the cat was dead.  I went downstairs and began googling how to help your children deal with a dead pet advice.  I googled the sound that a cat being killed by a coyote makes.  I considered not telling Sally and hoping she'd never notice, I prayed, I went outside (at 4 am!) and looked for (blood?) evidence, I thought about what a perfect cat she had been.  I blamed myself for not being more vigilant about keeping the cat in at night. I let myself off the hook because I, told myself, Fern loved being outside at night and who was I to deny her her animal urges, I decided that I would tell my kids some version of "Fern lived a great life, a cat life, and as part of a cat's life there is danger, the circle of life, etc", I decided I'd tell the kids Fern got cancer and we put her to sleep, I decided we'd never get another cat. I decided we'd get 2 kittens right away.  I decided to get another dog.  And then at 5 am, on the dot … Fern came to the door outside our bedroom and meowed to be let in.”

We laughed about my craziness in the writer’s room the next day and then guess what happened a MONTH later?!!!  The cat disappeared.  For good. I don’t mean to make everyone all sad with the story of my dead cat, I’m just saying, sometimes you are just being paranoid and sometimes you aren’t, so what are you supposed to do?  Be like Lexie and live you life in that kind of heightened fearful state?  No, you have to keep going, walk the dog, eat dinner, live … you have to find a way to stop living in fear … Especially if you’re a surgeon … you need to be able to put your fear aside …

Which is why I loved the scene where Owen, Derek and Mark take Cristina, Meredith and Lexie to the baseball field.  This is one of the first times Owen has seen Cristina’s intensity.  And I love that he makes her leave the hospital, focus on something else.  That’s why he’s so good for her.  The scene was actually inspired by Shonda saying, let’s do a scene where they’re all playing baseball. But when I finally saw it, it makes me want to write more scenes like that, with our doctors outside of the hospital, little glimpses of them in real life.  One of my favorite Grey’s moments of all time was this Season One scene where Meredith and Cristina are outside jogging and they stop and they’re laying in the grass and they decide they need to cry.  And they’re like, “Now?  Should we cry right now?”  Or something like that.  Anyway, I love those little glimpses of our people as “real” people.

Back to the inspiration … Izzie’s story was very much inspired by my friend Lynn, who has cancer and runs her own company. A big concern for her while she gets treated is making sure her employees have confidence in her and don’t see her as sick or weak.  She told me that that went into her decision to get a really good wig which looks just like her hair did before chemo.  It’s to put her clients and employees at ease.  We live in Los Angeles and it gets really hot here and Lynn has said there are some days where she just looks at that wig and it’s the last thing she wants to put on, but she does.  And, like Izzie, who used this as an opportunity to ‘try being a redhead”, Lynn also got a spikey short ‘weekend’ wig to try out a more fun hairstyle.  Although, at home on the weekend, she usually goes wigless, her daughter prefers it and says she likes the peachfuzz.  

I love that scene where Alex brings Izzie her 2 pm pill and a banana and water.  She doesn’t want Alex to hover but he can’t help it, he loves her and that’s what you do for someone you love, especially when they’re trying to pretend they’re fine.  And I love it when he tells her at the end that she can’t pretend she isn’t sick, that she needs to take responsibility for her illness and he can’t be her nurse.  One thing we’ve talked about in the Writer’s Room a lot is the fact that we have these two married couples right now – Izzie and Alex,  and Meredith and Derek, who had very different weddings, for very different reasons and we really want to explore what the idea of commitment means for them this season.  

When we were writing the episode we realized that it didn’t seem right that Meredith would be paranoid, which is when we came up with the idea that because of her chaotic childhood, she gets calm in a crisis.  It’s when she’s at her best.  It’s what makes her a great doctor, makes her the glue that holds all her friends together, and it’s what Derek needs right now because whatever it is that’s going on with him and the Chief looks like it’s going to get worse before it gets better …

And finally … the inspiration for the funny Cristina stuff with the kids came from my daughter, Sally. Every night when I get home she hides and I have to find her.  But whenever I get close, she yells out orders from her hiding place, “You haven’t looked in the kitchen”, “try upstairs”, and then when I finally find her, she gets upset.  She HATES being found!  And therefore I HATE HIDE AND SEEK.  

Look at that, big things are happening people, secrets are being revealed this season, even in blogs!  I’m telling you, Season Six is going to be good!  

Comments

[Darya]

Thank you for making me laugh and cry at least once every week.

[Kari]

What is the song that was played at the very end of the show? It's not posted under "Music" and I loved the song... can't seem to find it anywhere! Please Help!

[Tina]

Alex and Izzie were absolutely the highlight of this episode. Beautiful. More, please.

[DealWithIt]

Ok, can I ask a question? At the risk of asking something that may have already been asked (but I certainly haven't seen it) did Mer & Der legalize their post-it marriage or not? The last time I checked, a mere post-it marriage wasn't legal in any state.

You, the writers, claim you want to treat the viewers as if we have a brain. Can someone, therefore, ONCE AND FOR ALL tell us if Mer & Der's marriage was made legal? Yeah, the post-it scene fit their characters, but how about a little common sense thrown in, just for the hell of it?? You say you're appreciative that the viewers have stuck with you up to this point, so how about providing a little reality check and have someone comment that a legal marriage certificate exists for these two?!? If not, a post-it marriage is just a suspension of disbelief that is too ridiculous to follow.

Btw... great baseball scene!

[Izzie-At-Heart]

I thought this episode was kind of slow. The quiet before the storm hits i suppose. I'm looking forward to what's coming next though.

[Leslie]

This is the kind of scenes I would have wanted for Alex and Izzie on Season 5. A couple talking and growing with each other, and not ghost sex. Thank you! I'm looking forward to this season.

[last to know-first to go]

I'm sad that you brought back Olivia only to "last to know, first to go," lay her off. But maybe she can come back.

3/4 of the interns (somehow now residents) deserved to get fired.

The chief is really being an ass. My favorite part of the show was when Derek stepped up and acknowledged the people leaving and encouraged them. He was doing the chiefs job.

I like them getting out of the hospital, but I missed Mer's house.

Yes Mer is calm in a crisis. Didn't care for the patients at all. Next week's looks interesting. Hopefully there will be more Meredith.

[Jenna]

Thank you for every minute of Alex & Izzie.

[Lisa]

Overall, I loved this episode!!!
If the merger keeps this kind of fire going, I am all for it! We got back to the "pace" that we loved in Season 1 and 2.

LIKES...

1) Loved Cristina in Peds!!! Hide and Seek and Mr. Bear, just too funny!

2) The tension of surviving the cuts fueled a pulse in the hospital we haven't felt consistently in a long time!

3) Wig Scene... The looks on Cristina and Meredith's faces were priceless! LOL

4) Cafeteria Scene... Classic!!! Loved how Lexie tells Cristina, I admire you and I think your pretty LOL

5) Derek was great comforting the ones that were being let go. Where was chief? I also like that he went to try to stand up for his staff.

6) Owen/Cristina bridge scene was awesome! I love how Owen supported Cristina but stood up to her at the same time. He let her know he had faith in her by saying she is the last one that needs to worry but at the same time was not going to do something unprofessional. I loved how they argued but a the end of it "they agree to disagree". Owen just says "no" and she walks away and things are fine. I love that he is firm and tough with her in "professional" manners" then he gets a smirk on his face as she walks away. He is in awe of her fiestiness and passion and loves her even with all of her eccentricities!

8) Alex taking care of Izzie... I loved the dynamic between Alex and Izzie in this episode! Alex taking care of Izzie was so sweet! What I love about it the most is that they didn't play it so sappy, they kept the "edge" between them. The fact they disputed over it was so natural!

9) "Let's Go Home" Scene... At the end of the night, it melted my heart when Owen went up to Cristina and said "Let's Go Home"!!! That just sounded so perfectly good, like a REAL couple that they are now!

10) The baseball scene was so fun! It was nice seeing the couples hanging out! I loved that Owen insisted that Cristina needed this distraction and made her leave the hospital even though she refused! Owen accidentally almost hitting her which sparked her to focus was hilarious! Owen barking "orders" at Cristina, "focus on what's in front of you" was priceless! SP Owen had returned! I like this confident, take-charge Owen and he is good for Cristina. I love how they interact as a couple!! It was fantastic for Owen to see this ultra competitive side of Cristina and not get freaked by it.

11) Baby Patient... It was cool seeing Mark able to repair such an injury. But the injury is self was gory and sad!

12) 2/3rds of Lexie's Class Being Let go.... This made me cheer the loudest!!! It is not good for anyone to lose there job, but finally terrible interns gone at last!!!!

13) Bailey was Palatable!... She wasn't all emo this episode, so she was ok!

DISLIKES...

1) Chief... Maybe it is on purpose but I am really not liking the Chief these days! Ughhh!

2) Schizo guy... I actually thought this was a good storyline but a few things irked me! If he was that far gone, he needed to be on meds and if that didn't work they needed to lock him up! I have a brother that is fighting with Schizophrenia and it is a daily battle but Meds really do work even though it makes them pretty "spaced out". Then the mother refusing surgery because she needed to be there for him!!! I just kept thinking, get the surgery because if you die who then is going to take care of him!!!

3) Izzie returning to work... I know she was fearful for her job but I agree with Alex, she needed to be taking care of herself!

4) Still a little too much Lexie for me but I am liking her more these days. Still don't buy into the Mark and Lexie relationship.

Great job!!!!

[Louisa]

This episode was amazing, and like you, I love 'those little glimpses of our people as “real” people' :)
And it would be awesome if you wrote more of these!

[Mari, from Brazil]

Thank you Joan! I love it all!

A lighter episode after the first two. A real crisis makes us know everybody deep inside.

Izzie is trying to be back. But as Alex said, George is dead and she does have cancer. She can’t be the same person after all. Alex really loves Izzie. I want her to show the same love for him.

Cristina is still selfish and immature. She tried to use Owen as she did with Burke, but Owen was great: “that’s a no”. He was kind and firm. Love him. And that’s why I can’t really like her. She isn’t loyal by principle. She makes allies and uses them. And she has the audacity to say that Meredith makes things personal.

Arizona was too naive. Dealing with kids doesn’t mean you are childish.

Mark pacing Derek. “You’re tired, you’re angry, you’re gonna say something you regret.” And to encouraging Lexie! “You deserve to be here, act like it” He’s growing up!

Optimistic Meredith! What a happy marriage can do! When there’s a crisis she grows. Love their interaction. Small parts but real ones as a married couple! Keep them coming!

Richard is lost, anger and wrong. Derek never did anything to “look like a good guy”. What a loss. It’s hard to an older people to see and accept wisdom from a younger one. He’s acting like a dinosaur.

Derek is awesome. He’s growing as leader. “Start acting like it”. All about guidance and leadership. “you need to talk to your people; they need to hear from you”. At season 3 when Richard chose him, he said he wasn’t the best man for the job. Maybe that time he wasn’t. He is now. Although he’s too brilliant and gifted to be behind a desk. His talents belong to the OR. Saying goodbye at the end was a must. He’s one of the stars of the hospital and he could have the standard big worldwide neurosurgeon egocentric’s behavior.

But no. He is McDreamy!

[Daryl Y]

First!

Anyway, I loved the episode. All the couples - Derek and Meredith, Cristina and Owen, Alex and Izzie, Mark and Lexie - functioned really great together. I never really liked Lexie before, but now I think she's a doll.

And G*d d*mn. Izzie's peach fuzz rocks.

[kathy]

In the first epizod Lex said that she “start her residence” (when she was helping Mark to move in), in the 3 epizod Mark told (when she was crying) that she “is the best 2nd year resident”, so on which year she is and if she is resident why she and her friend still working like an intern, and on which year Mer/Alex/Izzy and Cristina are? :/

[Laura]

First, let me say, I love Grey's Anatomy! Second, I love the "day after" blog just as much, sometimes even better, like today. All of you that write blogs the day after, are truly gifted. It's inspiring for us "average joes"!! Keep up the great work on the show and the blogs!!!

[Britt]

Wow absolutely loved the episode. I must say that the baseball is one of my all time favourite scenes on Greys so far! Seriously!
Can't wait for next week!

[mandy]

Thought last night's episode was really boring. Nothing really happened to anyone that means anything to the show. Keep waiting for something to happen! Maybe next week.....

[Yolanda]

You writers are 2 for 2. Last week's premiere was amazing and this week's was equally good. The loss of George has not hurt you guys one bit. Love you and I hope to continue to look forward to Thursday nites.

[Kat]

Ok, first of all, Derek and Meredith are not married. ARE. NOT. MARRIED. Anyone who is married or has been married knows that they are not. So I'm sincerely hoping that you guys plan on remedying this at some point this season.

Secondly, it hit me watching Derek saying good bye and giving hugs and offering help after the layoffs went down - he is the Chief. Maybe not in title, but when you are a leader and the crap goes down, you are THERE. You don't have HR send out emails, and you don't run and hide. You face the garbage with your "people".

[a little boring]

I know you have to give other characters more screen time to make up for EP’s leave, but Lexie is everywhere. How about the other characters like Bailey or at least spread it around more? So far the first three shows have been a little boring. Not really into Lexie’s Anatomy.

[KT]

I agree with other people on this blog, the baseball scene was fantastic. I wish it could have been a little longer. The job paranoia theme really touched a personal note because so many of us know our employed days are numbered. Please give us more scenes like the baseball scenes. Please have Derek kiss Meredith at least one time per episode. Keep showing us the McDreamy character and why that character truly is dreamy. We need these little happy things to get us through the week. Also, Christina's voice as the bear was outstanding. I also loved Christina and Meredith's reaction to Izzie's wig. We need this humor in these hard times. Thank you.

[deme]

I LOVE OF THIS EPISODE ,SOME SCENES.I loved Derek when was worried for izzie during the craniatom-surgery, karev was very sweet with izzie , merder in the stairs...but i don't love LEXIE , you do her so much minuts and scenes, she is biring and she worms out me.

[loyal viewer]

Dull. Flat. Unrealistic (in a bad way). No humor, no Grey's signature style. Chief is acting our of character - sorry, not convincing me with that one. Better improve or I'll join the group of 'ex Grey's watchers' that is growing.

[Elaine]

Loved it. I know its only 3 episodes into season 6 but I have to say I'm in love with this season. Everyone getting storylines is great to see and the show feels rejuvenated. Keep up the fantastic work. Cannot wait for more!

[cmra]

This was a great episode, and almost achieved that great vibe we remember from earlier seasons. The personal moments between Meredith and Derek and Izzie and Alex were great. I agree that it would be great to see more glimpses of the characters outside of the hospital. I really enjoyed the core group of characters that were focused on in this episode - including the development of Lexie's character. The baseball scene was the perfect way to wrap up the episode.

Great blog post!

[cmra]

I am normally not a huge fan of Cristina, but I felt that putting her into Peds was the best story she's had in a long time. I would LOVE to see this explored more - I think this could be the perfect opportunity to explore Cristina's past and her "issues" while developing her as a doctor. I think she could be great at Peds - it would give her an outlet to come out of her shell finally.