Joan Rater on "(I Always Feel Like) Somebody's Watchin' Me"...

Original Airdate: 10-1-09

Hi and WELCOME TO SEASON SIX!  Kind of amazing if you think about it.  It’s amazing to me, at least. I’ve never had the same job for this long.  In TV, there’s a lot of hopping from show to show, a new job every year, so the fact that Tony and I haven’t hopped for awhile, we’ve gotten to spend 5 years with the same characters (on screen and off), has been such a great experience.  So Yay!  

We had this conference at the end of last year, all the writers, where Shonda asked us to imagine what we wanted Season Six to look like.  We were all given the task of thinking, dreaming, imagining what we wanted for our show, our characters.  We all had to present our ideas, and because it’s Shonda, there were prizes.  For originality, for best ideas, for most interesting presentation, and because there was this sort of formal presentation-like quality to it, it became kind of scary.  But once everyone finished complaining and procrastinating and avoiding and stuff, people came up with some really amazing presentations.  There was a puppet show.  Songs were written.  There were etch-a-sketch art drawings of operations. What I decided to do for my presentation was go be a resident for a day.  So I got a trauma surgeon at County Hospital to agree to let me follow him around for 24 hours.  Oh my God, people!  I got to go into an OR.  Blood was splattered!  It was awesome!  Anyway, I’m sharing this with you to tell you that Season Six is going to be awesome.  People came up with some amazing ideas.  There was passion.  There was humor.   There was nudity!  Not really.  Actually that was a rule.  Shonda said no nudity and no live animals.  But we were all inspired and stuff.  Which was Shonda’s point.  To inspire us.  And so along the lines of inspiration… I’d like to use this blog to share with you some of the things that inspired me during the writing of this episode. If that sounds really boring to you, I apologize, I’ll try to make it interesting and, as a little prize for reading the blog, I will reveal a secret about myself at the very end.  Something I have never told a soul.  But you have to keep reading…

After Richard dropped the bomb that the hospital would be merging with Mercy West, we knew that this episode would have to deal with people’s paranoia.  Because merger means change.  And change means fear.  And the worst kind of fear is the kind that lives in your head.  The dark thoughts.  The paranoia.  The worst case scenarios that you play out that usually don’t come true.  And with Richard holing himself up inside his office, it’s just a breeding ground for rumor, fear and paranoia.  So, when we started talking about this episode, the theme of paranoia emerged pretty quickly.  And right away I thought of doing a medical story about a paranoid schizophrenic.  And my inspiration for the story of Tom and Jodie came from a kid I knew growing up named Jon.  I babysat for him.  His mom, Barbara and my mom are friends.  We went on vacations with their family.  And he grew up and became a paranoid schizophrenic.  My mom recently told me a story that when Jon (who’s now 30) needs a haircut, Barbara is unavailable all day for golf or bridge because she never knows how long it will take for Jon to find a barber shop he’s okay with.  She has to drive from barbershop to barbershop, waiting for him to get a ‘good feeling’ about one.  It might happen right away, it might take all day.  And she’s patient and kind and she just does it because she’s his mother. I was really moved when my mom told me this story because I know these people and I know how painful this has been for her but how she just handles it, with dignity and humor.  I can just picture the scene in the car as she pulls up to yet another one, “Well, Jon?”  I can totally see her trying to talk him into giving one a try.  And I can see him wanting to do it, to please her, but ultimately being too afraid and telling her they have to try another one.  I can just picture the front seat of that car, so full of love and disappointment and fear as they negotiate this very mundane thing that for them has become anything but mundane.  Then the story became what it became, with Tom choking Lexie, and falling down the stairs creating a real dilemma for Jodie.  And the idea of Bailey pricking her finger to show Tom that she’s human, she’s a mother and she’s a doctor and she’s human, that idea came from Krista, but the original inspiration was the complicated love that I’ve witnessed between these family friends.  

So we knew what our main medical story was going to be and we decided that we wanted everyone in the hospital, the doctors, nurses, techs, everyone, to be scared.  Scared to leave the hospital, scared to give up any edge.  Just scared.  No one is safe and that kind of infection running through the hospital is easy to relate to.  In the Writer’s Room there are a few of us who operate in a perpetual state of paranoia, so on the one hand it was easy to write that stuff and fun to tell funny stories about our crazy thoughts.  But here’s the thing about crazy thoughts - sometimes they aren’t crazy.  Case in point – here is an email I wrote to the writers in July telling them about a crazy, paranoid night I spent worrying about my cat -

“ Last night I woke up at 4 am and remembered that at about 2 am I had heard some weird cat meowing, like a cat dying, and I suddenly realized that our cat was dead.  I knew, just KNEW that the sound I heard was Fern being killed by a coyote.  Now, Fern spends every night outside and then at EXACTLY 5 am she appears at the porch door outside our bedroom and meows to be let in.  But last night I knew that Fern would not appear on schedule because I just knew she was dead.  Oh, because not only had I heard the weird cat meowing at 2, but there had also been some weird dog barking at about 10 pm that in my 4 am head meant a coyote had been stalking the neighborhood earlier and had settled on my house to wait patiently outside of until the perfect opportunity to kill my cat arose.  At 4 am this is what I knew had happened FOR SURE.  So what did I do?  I woke Tony and told him the cat was dead.  I went downstairs and began googling how to help your children deal with a dead pet advice.  I googled the sound that a cat being killed by a coyote makes.  I considered not telling Sally and hoping she'd never notice, I prayed, I went outside (at 4 am!) and looked for (blood?) evidence, I thought about what a perfect cat she had been.  I blamed myself for not being more vigilant about keeping the cat in at night. I let myself off the hook because I, told myself, Fern loved being outside at night and who was I to deny her her animal urges, I decided that I would tell my kids some version of "Fern lived a great life, a cat life, and as part of a cat's life there is danger, the circle of life, etc", I decided I'd tell the kids Fern got cancer and we put her to sleep, I decided we'd never get another cat. I decided we'd get 2 kittens right away.  I decided to get another dog.  And then at 5 am, on the dot … Fern came to the door outside our bedroom and meowed to be let in.”

We laughed about my craziness in the writer’s room the next day and then guess what happened a MONTH later?!!!  The cat disappeared.  For good. I don’t mean to make everyone all sad with the story of my dead cat, I’m just saying, sometimes you are just being paranoid and sometimes you aren’t, so what are you supposed to do?  Be like Lexie and live you life in that kind of heightened fearful state?  No, you have to keep going, walk the dog, eat dinner, live … you have to find a way to stop living in fear … Especially if you’re a surgeon … you need to be able to put your fear aside …

Which is why I loved the scene where Owen, Derek and Mark take Cristina, Meredith and Lexie to the baseball field.  This is one of the first times Owen has seen Cristina’s intensity.  And I love that he makes her leave the hospital, focus on something else.  That’s why he’s so good for her.  The scene was actually inspired by Shonda saying, let’s do a scene where they’re all playing baseball. But when I finally saw it, it makes me want to write more scenes like that, with our doctors outside of the hospital, little glimpses of them in real life.  One of my favorite Grey’s moments of all time was this Season One scene where Meredith and Cristina are outside jogging and they stop and they’re laying in the grass and they decide they need to cry.  And they’re like, “Now?  Should we cry right now?”  Or something like that.  Anyway, I love those little glimpses of our people as “real” people.

Back to the inspiration … Izzie’s story was very much inspired by my friend Lynn, who has cancer and runs her own company. A big concern for her while she gets treated is making sure her employees have confidence in her and don’t see her as sick or weak.  She told me that that went into her decision to get a really good wig which looks just like her hair did before chemo.  It’s to put her clients and employees at ease.  We live in Los Angeles and it gets really hot here and Lynn has said there are some days where she just looks at that wig and it’s the last thing she wants to put on, but she does.  And, like Izzie, who used this as an opportunity to ‘try being a redhead”, Lynn also got a spikey short ‘weekend’ wig to try out a more fun hairstyle.  Although, at home on the weekend, she usually goes wigless, her daughter prefers it and says she likes the peachfuzz.  

I love that scene where Alex brings Izzie her 2 pm pill and a banana and water.  She doesn’t want Alex to hover but he can’t help it, he loves her and that’s what you do for someone you love, especially when they’re trying to pretend they’re fine.  And I love it when he tells her at the end that she can’t pretend she isn’t sick, that she needs to take responsibility for her illness and he can’t be her nurse.  One thing we’ve talked about in the Writer’s Room a lot is the fact that we have these two married couples right now – Izzie and Alex,  and Meredith and Derek, who had very different weddings, for very different reasons and we really want to explore what the idea of commitment means for them this season.  

When we were writing the episode we realized that it didn’t seem right that Meredith would be paranoid, which is when we came up with the idea that because of her chaotic childhood, she gets calm in a crisis.  It’s when she’s at her best.  It’s what makes her a great doctor, makes her the glue that holds all her friends together, and it’s what Derek needs right now because whatever it is that’s going on with him and the Chief looks like it’s going to get worse before it gets better …

And finally … the inspiration for the funny Cristina stuff with the kids came from my daughter, Sally. Every night when I get home she hides and I have to find her.  But whenever I get close, she yells out orders from her hiding place, “You haven’t looked in the kitchen”, “try upstairs”, and then when I finally find her, she gets upset.  She HATES being found!  And therefore I HATE HIDE AND SEEK.  

Look at that, big things are happening people, secrets are being revealed this season, even in blogs!  I’m telling you, Season Six is going to be good!  

Comments

[Kelly]

Great episode. Stellar performances by Patrick Dempsey, Chyler Leigh and Chandra Wilson. I like Lexie coming into her own as a doctor and I liked Bailey&Lexie working together.

Alex and Izzie are great together, Cristina and pediatrics not so much.

I want Lexie back. Mark and Lexie are sexy and sweet together. I adore them. Can't get enough. Also thanks for keeping Mark and Callie bffs and thanks for the increase in Derek and Mark's scenes.I like their friendship being explored.

I love Meredith and love MerDer but even a shipper like me knows Grey's works best as an ensemble and really enjoy that aspect of it. I like seeing Derek outside of Meredith. Exploring his relationships with Mark, Richard and as a hospital leader. I look forward to more of that.

[Anne]

Hmm - well I definitely got the paranoia, fear vibe from this show about the merger. That came across. That said I can't say I enjoyed it much. The chief was an ass again to Derek and to his whole staff. I get that he may have to isolate himself when making cut decisions but he should have been there for the staff let go to say goodbye and thank you to each one of them. In my opinion not doing so made him a poor chief or leader and made the remaining staff still uncertain, unconfident of their future at SGH. I agree with Derek he should have spoke to his people and said - I will fight for everyone of you and do my best - do your best, get rest and show everyone the great staff we have here. Derek was more of a chief in this one than the chief. I thought his comforting and thanking laid off staff was appropriate and compassionate. Where was the chief? Mark shined in this episode as well as Owen. Bailey is back to her amazing self. I liked the fact you had Meredith be the calm one and the moments between Mer & Derek were good. I did enjoy seeing the group at the baseball diamond and I too would like to see more of their outside life as well. And I hope they all get some sleep! I know there may be more layoffs but the chief would be an idiot to let go some of the surgeons he has like Derek, Mark and Bailey, Owen, Christina and Meredith. I hope Callie gets to stay too at MW.

[Ivelisse]

Great episode! funny, a little bit drama, great, great great! :D

[Barbra]

This episode was just okay for me. Why is it that every couple (other than Mer/Der) can have adult coversations on this show while they are resigned to off screen heart to hearts? The idea of having to read the weekly writer's blog to understand where Mer/Der are at as a couple is getting rather old. How about you start showing us on screen their dynamic? Doesn't take a rocket scientist to understand that all the on-screen chemistry in the world is useless when the couple in question has no on-screen time together!

[Maya]

That was a BORING episode. I never used to get bored watching this show. What's happening? The magic's gone.

[Meegan]

Thanks for a great episode and thanks for the great blog!

[Nart]

This episode was pretty great, but as I'm watching it, I'm well aware Ellen Pompeo is about to have her baby daughter, so I get the fact that she can't be in a bunch of scenes, but this show is not Lexie "Grey's" Anatomy, no matter how many scenes you have her show up in, everywhere, all the time, saying things. She's not part of the fab 5 (now down to 4), she's not George's replacement and definitely not the new "Mer", and while I don't hate her by any means, I'll take Alex, Izzie, Cris, Mer, Derek, Baiely, and Callie any day of the week in major storylines over her. Please don't overdo it with Lexie as a little goes A LONG WAY with her, trust.

[Janet]

Thanks Joan for a great episode! After the 2 hours of dealing with grief last week, it was nice to have something a bit lighter and to see the characters having moved on with life.

I want an Alex Karev of my very own!

I really love how Alex and Izzie have been written so far this season. I find it very realistic the way they've been facing the challenges of their marriage and their new life together. They have their problems but they talk and work things out. That's how it should always be. I love how much Alex has grown not only as a husband but as a friend and doctor. I hope to see a lot of Alex this season - best character on this show and by far the most interesting.

[AtelierGal]

Alex hovering over Izzie, worried about her health & bring her pills & feeding her that banana, I envied so much.

It's nice to see Alex being given a bigger responsibility in the show, even if he has to balance his career & his duty as a husband.

[MindyM]

I was hoping that this week's blog would clear up some of my confusion about this episode.

I was kind of annoyed with Tom, the paranoid schizophrenic. I don't know about that story of the mother who hovered over her son all the time, but paranoid schizophrenics can be extremely dangerous. In the past this illness was considered to be untreatable, however, in recent years medicines have been developed that can help patients and alleviate their symptoms. But paranoid schizophrenics cannot just be cared for by a relative, much less a single mom. They have to be monitored. Many of them aren't able to ever function in society. So I was put off by the absurdity of the mother trying to be the one caretaker for her seriously ill son. Lexie is fortunate that she didn't get hurt. It could have been a lot worse.

But I guess I am trying to inject too much reality here. I know, yes I know, that this is a tv show and all things are possible if you can just forget reality and common sense. I got that Tom symbolized the paranoic frenzy that was gripping everyone, not knowing who would get the ax. I have lived through too many mergers, layoffs and downsizings. But even I don't remember it getting quite that dramatic.

I guess this is my roundabout way of saying that I wasn't thrilled with this episode. I thought it was a little too obvious, too much hitting the viewer over the head with the paranoid craziness.

It's odd that I couldn't connect emotionally this week, especially after such an emotional season opener with George dying. Usually this show can get me where it hurts, but not this week.

I did love that Mer was the calm one. How appropriate. I always identify with Mer. I can panic over the small stuff, but when there's a real crisis, that's when I become the strong one. If you have been abandoned and have to grow up when you are still young, then you find a way to deal with major issues when they come along. That may be why I just didn't get all the hysteria with everyone over the possibility of losing their job. All of us have probably faced it at one point in our lives. I know I have. I was laid off in October 2008 and am still looking for work in this horrible enonomy. That may have something to do with my detachment.

I truly love Owen and Cristina and of course, Mer and Der. Without them there would be no reason for me to continue watching. I will say that my the one moment I really did like was when they got together to play baseball after work. Now that was something I could understand. Just going out after a stressful day at work and hanging out and having fun with your fellow coworkers and friends. A nice human touch. A lovely and endearing way to end an episode that just did not do it for me.

[So...]

I liked it, but it's TOO MUCH Lexie, I miss Mer and I understand why her screentime had to be reduced. What I don't understand is why you chose to replace it with Lexie. I would prefer to learn more about the other original characters.
I liked Mer/Der tonight, of course I always want more, but what we got was good. And I hope when EP is back you have a good stroyline for them.
I love the idea of showing them outside the hospital, more of that, please!

[Allen]

The baseball scene was the perfect way to end the episode. Cristina hitting the ball was probably my favorite moment of the night. That, and Alex bringing Izzie her meds.

[Izzy]

does this mean that the doctors are gonna be working in two hospitals or are they going to close one location?

[Jenna]

Well, I must say- I loved this episode! I was so heart broken about T.R leaving the show that I fretted about how it might change Greys for me. I do not want Greys to turn in to the next ER that by the end...has no original cast members and has lost everything that once made it powerful. BUT once again, I was proven wrong! Yay!

The episode was wonderful. I LOVE the growing relationship between Arizona and Callie. I LOVE the baseball scene (because I too love the "real people moments" that get revealed. I LOVE the relationship between Mark & Lexi and how it is maturing. I love how Mark is maturing in general! Remember when he was just a horny nurse dater and he was making Alex get his dry cleaning? I love that Alex is taking care of Izzie, because we all love seeing the softer side of Alex moments! I love that Meredith is whole and healed- and please don't let next week send her back into the dark place! I want to enjoy happy Meredith for a while. She is wonderfully charming.
I love that Christina tried peds, and how horrible she was at it. I love Christina in general- and this reminded me of when Bailey had her babysit back in Season 2! Wonderfully awkward and funny.

I think this season will be another good one. I think this show is still great. I will miss T.R. immensely and I hope they bring him in frequently (like tonight at the end with Izzie)! He was an asset but things happen and changes are made- and there are still so many wonderful characters to enjoy!

Thanks again for my most favorite vice! Thursday nights are always a highlight! :)

[Stefy]

This was such a cute blog. The whole cat thing was hilarious and sad! My best friend is in love with his cat so he's paranoid about finding her before he goes to bed.
The scene where Arizona is looking for her patient and trying to get Cristina to play along was too cute. I love that you do that with your daughter, although hide and seek does get old.
This was a very good episode, I liked it a lot more than last weeks.
I'm mad at the chief, but I suppose that's good, because it means the actor is doing a good job... I'm just sad people are getting fired, although it was nice to see people from the early seasons.
=)

[Willson]

That is mainly what I am complaining about! C'mon they can not do it week by week, right? YeahI know, the writers just want to show Cristina's dark said, but Cristina has got a lot of deep issues more than just competitive and insensitive, by the way, I don't think she is insensitive at all.

When can we get our Burke talk? When will Owen learn how much Cristina is fear of facing death commitment? Those are the dark side which are more interesting to show, not being called off by different doctors week by week, or being unprofessionly by using her boyfriend ot protect her job. I really feel uncomfortable to watch this.

I want O/C to move forward, discuss moving together,, I want Owen to show how d@am good doctor he is, I am not greedy, and I know the writers won't give us all, because after all we have other characters, and I am fine with that. I just want the writers to stop using Cristina to be a bad example, that is so far all I want now.

[Kemari]

The baseball scene was beautiful. I would really like to see more of these kinds of scenes too. I love the scenes at Joe's bar, but I want to see more outside of the hospital. Like, whatever happened to Alex taking Izzie to Iowa? I want to see that. I think that should happen, and soon. Those small glimpses do wonders for the show. They're like the spices in a gourmet dish, enhancing the flavors of the characters.

[stingo]

Oh, how I loved this episode! Thank you.

PS: I am so very sorry about your cat!

[Amanda]

I have to Thank You..... all of you who have been involved in these last three episodes.....because you are giving me back my Grey's of old! I had felt that Grey's had taken a turn to the darkside for a few seasons,which I unerstand the need for, but what had been lacking for me were the classic light moments to balance it out. You are finally giving us those moments back.

I remember the running through the park cene and it was also one of favorites. I love seeing the LOVE between the characters. I loved Alex looking after Izzie with the banana and her meds; I loved Mer refusing to leave the hospital because she couldn't leave Christina there; I loved the conversation between Mark and Derek right before Lexi went flying with the blood (GENIUS, by the way) and I especially loved the baseball scene! We need more of these scenes. They make me smile and sometimes thats invaluable. So Thank You.

[stephs]

Good blog, but the jogging scene was Season Two.. not One.....

[Cilla]

This season is really good so far, so great job! :) I've really warmed up to Mark and Lexie as a couple, and I really like Arizona. She's a great new addition. The only thing that bugs me is that she and Callie doesn't act like a couple, casually touching and kissing like all the other couples do. It looks an awful lot like a double standard to me, and I'm straight. Let them show each other some love! :) Otherwise I love the show! :D

[Emma]

!his episode was great, i´ve missed the grey´s humor. Omg i think i got tears in my eyes when christina played a bear voice and the child was terrified xD

[Sarah]

This episode was fantastic on SO MANY LEVELS. In reverse order of what you wrote about:

Only a parent of a youngish child could have written the hiding in the bed scene. That is EXACTLY what hide and seek is like in our house, with the bed and the covers and the giggling. Perfect, and very telling about why Arizona is such a good pediatric surgeon.

The baseball scene was so powerful, too. After all the interpersonal drama, here we have Derek and Meredith, Mark and Lexi, Owen and Cristina... a group of adult friends just being, unwinding. And it feels comfortable, easy.

I completely love Owen and Cristina, by the way.

The arm reattachment made me crazy, but I'm the parent of a 25-weeker, so... preemie stories make me crazy by default. The dummy actually looked like a 32-weeker, though, so that was good. :^)

[sarah]

i have no doubt season six is going to be good.. thank you writers for the taking the time out to write these blogs and sharing some insight to the episodes. Let me hear a hoot hoot for secrets!!!!!

[Kim]

Great blog Joan!
Ok so last week was very hard for me. It was the FIRST time since day 1 that I did not like a Grey's episode. I still feel like George did not get a good send off. Maybe a big part of me just did not want to see my George go. He is gone so I need to get over it. I have a feeling more will leave this season but I will have to trust you writers and just except the stories you choose to tell. It's funny how a tv show can create so much passion. I have never been so caught up in a tv show. This was a great episode. I loved it. Thank you for sharing how you came up with the story. I love to get the inside scoop! Ok so now I can say GREY'S IS BACK. Great job. Thank you. I will try to just watch and trust you guys!

And Shonda Private Pratice was amazing! Great job!!!