Sonay Washington on "Sweet Surrender"...

Original Airdate: 4-23-09

I won’t take up your time by telling you my name and that this episode of television is my first. I won’t tell you things about myself because I can hear you screaming “I DON’T CARE WHAT KIND OF TEA YOU LIKE TO DRINK, I WANT TO KNOW ABOUT MER AND DER!!!”  Because I understand what you want is a discussion of the episode.  So, I won’t tell you a thing about me.  Not until the end of this blog.  So here we go.   Discussing the episode…now.

Okay, too much is going on in this episode.  TOO MUCH I SAY!  People are throwing themselves out of windows, planning weddings, eating food by the barrels… And friendships are mended, a child dies and a daughter disowns her father. Okay, there’s a lot to discuss here, so let’s go.

Izzie is dying.  That really hit home for me after seeing her collapse.  I remember discussing this story in the writers’ room and Shonda saying “Izzie collapses.  This is the turning point.  She gets really, really sick.”  And I said “WHAT????? Izzie collapses?  MY Izzie collapses???  This is bull*!@# Shonda!”  Yeah, I said that.  It was all in my head, but I said it.  Seriously, it’s heartbreaking to see Izzie this way.  When Izzie fake codes and makes Meredith try on ugly wedding dresses, we get the sense that Izzie’s going to be okay - that the chemo won’t affect her.  And Izzie believes that too.  She fights to maintain who she is throughout the day until her body betrays her.   When Izzie vomits, this disease becomes real to her.  But what we also see is the beginning of a true friendship between Cristina and Izzie.  It took a lot for Izzie to admit that she’s sick to Cristina.  That the cancer is winning.  And Cristina is there for her.  She’s there to wipe her brow and to help Mer with her stupid wedding dresses.  And it’s for Izzie.  Cristina is there for Izzie.  And if anything comes out of this tragedy, it’s their friendship. 

And then there’s Cristina, who is hurting over Owen. Here is a guy she can’t have.  You see, Cristina never thought she would find love again after Burke.  And I’m not comparing Burke and Owen because they are very different, but love is love and Cristina feels it deeply for Owen.  And she can’t have him.  Can you imagine that?  To love someone and they love you but you can’t be together.  To see him everyday – every single day, and not be able to touch him, hold him, kiss him.  Well, this is the hell that is Cristina’s life right now.  She longs for Owen.  She wants him.  But she can’t have him. Because it’s dangerous to love him.  Loving him can get her hurt again. So Cristina stays away and watches him from afar.  Does she have hope for them?  That they will be together again one day?  I don’t know.  But I think we should hope for her. 

And Owen is trying.  He is struggling to heal himself.  He’s done with denial. Let’s face it, nothing hits home like choking your girlfriend in the middle of the night. Which is why Owen’s in therapy.  And I admire Owen for seeking help right away.  It’s brave.  Brave because he has to relive things that nearly killed him.  And yet he’s given himself over to Dr. Wyatt, hoping she can help.  And when Owen defines that feeling at the end, our hearts break because he is so tortured, but we also feel victorious.  Because there’s a chance Owen can mend.  And with that possibility comes hope.  There’s that word again…

And George.  When I think of hope, I think of him.  I wanted George to find himself – his strength as a doctor.  And he has.  Who would have thought that George “007” O’Malley would be a kick ass trauma surgeon?  Seeing George in action took me back to the elevator.  You remember the elevator right?  Intern year.  George and Alex are stuck in the elevator with a patient and the patient needs emergency medical.  George excels and Alex…well, Alex kind of chokes.  So yeah, it’s the elevator moment again and George saves a life.  Again.  I love that this happened again years later. In the bar, when Alex acknowledges that George is great at trauma, it shows that Alex has grown, just like Meredith. Alex would have never admitted George was better at something years ago.  Alex would also never admit to feeling fearful, especially to George.  And Alex is absolutely terrified because Izzie’s sick.  And he’s scared that she’s going to die.  And he’s scared of what that might do to him. And we see yet again, the beginning of a friendship. One between George and Alex. 

Speaking of fear.  Bailey is full of it because she has to tell her husband about PEDS.  Let’s not forget, Bailey’s marriage almost ended because of her job.  And now she wants to take on a new specialty?  PEDS will require all of her time and energy.  How can she tell her husband and expect him to understand?   And why is she doing this in the first place when she’s in the company of dying children all the time???  Well because she loves it.  And because the children…well, sometimes you save one. And that victory is worth it.  Worth the time and the energy and the risk of possibly losing something that’s very important to you, like your husband. But today, Bailey wonders why she’s doing it.  This sweet child that she held all day long, died.  And there was never a chance of saving her.  How does one become accustomed to such tragic loss? 

And loss.  Callie cuts off her father.  How brave is she?  Callie constantly surprises me. She never planned to introduce Arizona to her dad.  Not today.  But, she’s proud of Arizona.  Proud of her relationship and if her father supports her - like he’s always done - then he will accept her relationship, right? Wrong.  My heart goes out to Callie.  But my heart also goes out to Mr. Torres.  He loves his daughter more than anything in the world and he believes that taking her home will help Callie.  He wants to protect his daughter.  He wants to be there for her.  He wants her close.  So no one wins here.  Both Callie and her dad hurt. And we don’t know what this loss will do to Callie.  She has a strong family unit and who knows what life will be like as Callie leaps into life without her parachute.

Let’s end this discussion with some happiness. How proud are we to see Meredith all grown up?  I mean, she is.  Meredith is so sure that she wants to marry Derek Shepherd that it doesn’t even come up for discussion with Cristina.  Meredith is sure.  The only thing Meredith isn’t sure about is this wedding that Izzie is planning.  I mean, Izzie is going all wedding-planning-zilla on Meredith, except rather than go crazy, Izzie is using her illness to get everything she wants.  And Meredith wants to make Izzie happy.  No, this wedding isn’t what Meredith wanted – buffalo wings, hair in a pony tail, reception at “Joe’s” is what she wanted.  But Meredith has grown up, people, and growing means giving your dying friend whatever she wants.  And it doesn’t stop there.  Meredith is finally the big sister that Lexie wants and needs.  I LOVE when Meredith and Lexie approach the guys in the scrub room.  To see Meredith take up for her little sister makes us proud of Meredith.  And the last moment with Meredith and Lexie is wonderful.  Yes, we are happy that Derek and Mark mend their friendship but we are happier that Meredith is accepting her family.  That she’s letting people in.  That she’s growing. 

Hello.  I’m Sonay and this episode of television is my first.  I want to thank Shonda, Krista and Hammer as well as all the writers of “Grey’s Anatomy” for this opportunity and for being such an amazing support system. Tony, it was an honor. Also, thanks to all the assistants and the crew of “Grey’s Anatomy” for making this experience so memorable.

And I don’t drink tea.  I drink scotch. 

Comments

[Blondie]

Ms. Washington,

You've got the GA music in you! Thank you! I loved the way you wrapped up the fight between Mark and Der. We got to see a little of the new, grown up Derek giving credit to Mark. I love that Mer and Der are growing up! Terrific episode! Hope to see more!

[Hush]

Hey, I'm a complete dork and posted my comments in the wrong spot. Trying again...

Stop it! Stop it! Stop it!

You are NOT allowed to make me cry or scare the crap out of me anymore! So, don't!

Honestly, one ripper of a show. Excellent in all respects but one. Wasn't nearly long enough. (You really need to work on that.)

Cheers!

[esra]

Ellen Pompeo is amazing!!!

but I really need more merder scenes:( please... come on guys, THEY are getting married! they are meredith and derek... and after 5 years they are getting married... we deserve some great, LONG scenes!

[Jordan]

Two things- First I'm still mad that George and Izzie never had the chance and it gets thrown out of the window. I don't like Alex and Izzie together but since she's going to dies soon anyway (finale is my guess), fine, let them have it.

Secondly, the idea of George as a trauma surgeon - ingenious! It fits him really well indeed and gives good contrasts with his personality (compare Hunt and George). Good call with that.

Other then that, I liked the episode, keep on doing the good work.

[bonnie]

Awesome!!!!!!!!!!

[Laura]

Hello new GA writer. That was a wonderful episode. Also, that scene at the end with the father and his dying daughter made me sob.

[Mary]

I thought this was a good episode, loved the storylines but I have a bone to pick about the Tay-Sachs storyline. My 2 year old son just passed away from the disease 3 months ago, and I would have loved to have heard his voice. Sadly, I never did. The disease took away all his ability to function normally. This disease creates a huge amount of suffering in the child, and I wish that some of that had been portrayed in the episode. I felt it portayed the child's life much easier than it really is while living with this disease. But, I am still a huge Grey's fan.

[Cristine]

Meredith should wear the ring. It would be totally in character and it's sad that we've been teased with it for 10 episodes and that this is what we get in return.

[Liz]

Well it's about time we got to see George. I thought he'd been completely forgotten about, and he got to kick trauma-butt!! Go George!!

It's also about time Izzy finally woke up and pulled her head out of her.... well you know.

Glad to see the boys made up and equally glad that they didn't kiss while doing it. Which brings me to another point. I am so over this whole thing with Callie. Get her back with a man like Mark where she belongs. I could care less about the gay issue, whatever, but not with her character.

And Mer brought up a good point the chief and her not wanting him to be Bestman.

Oh and welcome Sonay, thanks for not boring us with long winded stories about personal lives, 'cause lets face it, who cares, that's not why we're here is it? ;)

Scotch, yum!!! ;)

[K]

I love the very real chemistry between Mark and Lexie. I loved the little moment of them having breakfast and kissing in the kitchen.

I adore Grey sisters scenes. More please. Also had to crack up at Mer's face every time Lexie stress ate.

[Stephen]

Katherine Heigl was truly awesome in tonight's episode. Loved it.

[Heidi]

Grey's is getting better episode by episode towards the end of this season.

I love Izzie's story line this season, because it really gives Heigl the cance to live up to her true potential. Brilliant writing by the staff. On hindsight, I just wish there would have been less of Denny earlier this season. Denny in one or two episode would have been enough to make us question what is going on with Izzie. With less Denny, I think the story line would have got more credit (that it deserves).

I truely hope Izzie won't die. Poor Alex. It would be interesting to see more of the pain and fear Alex feels because of Izzie's situation.

The ending scene with the McFamily getting all together was so nice. I love how Mer is finally stepping up as a big sister. And Lexie eating to cope with stress is funny and something I think many people can relate to.

More Mer/Der scenes! The one where they talk about the wedding in the bed was precious. You could really feel the love.

[Sparkle]

Sonay, you did a beautiful job. I loved this episode so much!

[Tracy]

I also have to comment on the lack of Alex/Izzie right now. They haven't had ONE conversation about her cancer. I know Alex is scared but I just can't believe that it wouldn't be addressed at some point ON SCREEN.

Also, once again, we are clearly able to see how Alex feels about Izzie. He is head over heels in love with her and terrified that she might die. When, when, when are we really going to see Izzie's love for Alex? We fans who stuck with the seemingly never-ending Denny Debacle which made Alex seem like 2nd choice again, and which made me really dislike Izzie, again, need to see that this isn't a one sided relationship. I really hope that we get a meaningful I Love You from Izzie to Alex soon and to have her really open up about her feelings for once, or its going to be really hard to root for this couple.

Right now it just seems like Alex is putting himself out there and we get not much from Izzie...again.

[McIzzie]

Hey Sonay, you did a great job! thanks alot for the episode and especially the Cristina/Izzie/Alex/George scenes :)

[Tina]

Best show ever. I'm still crying my eyes out. I LOVE GREY'S!!

[Steph]

Hands down the best episode in a LONG time! Thanks for reminding me why I have kept up with the show.

[Madeline]

Loved it! Congrats on your first episode!

[Mira]

This was a great episode - thank you! I LOVE that Mer is not a traditaional bride, but completely acquiescing to Izzie's desires to make her happy. GREAT nod to when Izzie turned the house into Santa's Village! I don't know about other fan's, but I dig the in-jokes. :-p

[Lil]

Very disappointing episode after the last few. So much happened that I just didn't get.

Meredith is suddenly mad at the Chief, but friends with Lexi? Mark and Derek make up, when it's not even clear why they're fighting. Bailey is a blubbering mess all of a sudden over patient - is she just taking over for Izzie?

And yes, we have seen the George/Alex stuff before. Because it was the same story as last time, with no improvement for either character. I don't believe that George is a great trauma surgeon because I haven't seen him be a surgeon at all since like mid season four. Nor do I think it likely that Alex "kinda freezes" whenever George needs propping. That's not in character; that's lazy writing.

Any why, why, why would I care about the mess that is Callie's love life, or Lexi's apparent eating disorder, or Mark's issues with Derek, when so much is going on with the core characters - who were almost absent?

I just don't get why great characters like Cristina, Alex, Owen, and Meredith are trapped in mediocre or recycled storylines when so much else could be done with them.

I was so looking forward to this episode. But it just was not worth the wait at all.

[Sheila]

It just felt to me like there were too many story lines to keep up with, so I couldn't get invested in any one in particular.

I agree with the poster who said when are Alex and Izzie going to talk? I mean REALLY talk about what's going on with her?

Oh, and for the love of your fans and all mental logicality, NO MORE DENNY!

[sharon]

I liked this episode.
I liked that Derek and Mark made up. We need the humour from those 2.
The dying child and Bailey just holding her, heartbreaking. I liked how the father was trying so hard to save her right to the end. Very well-acted.
That was hilarious when Mer was trying on wedding dresses.
Loved Owen trying to get well.
Loved the mcfamily scene at the end.
I'm not sure about Mark and Lexie, but I guess it serves the purpose of how its helped Mer and Der.

[mark fan]

Ew Mark and Lexie are so gross. Point blank.

please stop the madness

[maria]

scotch?

i like you already. :)

thanks for a great epi!

[Renee]

Brilliant! Brilliant episode, brilliant blog. You're right, I don't care if you drink tea or scotch, I want to hear about the episode you wrote, and you gave us that. Thanks for both.