Stacy McKee on "Elevator Love Letter"...

Original Airdate: 3-26-09

Just so you know, I am a sap when it comes to marriage proposal stories. I love them. I love hearing them, I love telling them… I fully enjoy all the cheesy romantic oooey gooey-ness. I LOVE that Derek proposed! I LOVE that Meredith said yes! I can’t help it. I’m just cheesy that way.

But first things first. Entirely too much happened in this episode. TOO MUCH. Owen went all PTSD and choked Cristina in his sleep then she forgave him and they had ridiculously beautiful sex until she realized she had to dump him after all. Alex snooched (yes, you heard me right. Snooched.) into a cup for Izzie so her eggs could be extracted, fertilized, and frozen before her body gets all sick with radiation and chemo. Derek finally came back from the woods looking all Grisly Adams-ish to operate on Izzie’s brain and – and then… there’s that elevator. Where Derek proposed to Meredith, and she said YES.

Yup. Too much happened in this episode. I’m overwhelmed. I don’t know what to talk about first.

Let’s start with the unpleasant part. Owen. And the choking. This was a tricky one. Let’s be clear. This is not a guy attacking a woman because he’s a guy who attacks women. We did not set out to tell a story about domestic abuse. This is a story about PTSD.

Owen is completely asleep when he attacks Cristina. Asleep, having a nightmare. Remember the story we did earlier this season about the guy with night terrors? Same thing. Did you see how dead Owen’s eyes look? He has no awareness of what’s happening. And the moment he wakes up, when Callie calls his name and he snaps out of the nightmare – Owen is more discombobulated and confused than anyone else. That’s why Cristina’s line is so important, when she asks Meredith if it would be any more appropriate to abandon Owen right now than it would be to abandon someone who had suffered a stroke or a heart attack. Owen is wounded. He does have war wounds. Which, as a doctor, Cristina recognizes. And she’s not going to let that intimidate her. She knows wounds can be healed.

The point isn’t the choking, it’s where Owen goes from here... The story we’ve always wanted to tell is one of healing and awareness and treatment for PTSD. That’s part of what you’ll see Owen struggling with in episodes to come. But before we can get there, before Owen can be truly willing to seek out help – we needed to see him hit rock bottom. We needed him to realize that his symptoms aren’t necessarily within his own control. We needed him to choke Cristina.

And if you felt a little worried when Cristina and Owen started to kiss, if you felt a little twinge of heartbreak for the two of them as they finally, beautifully consummated their relationship… that’s what you were supposed to feel. It’s exactly what we see creeping into Cristina’s face, after the sex, when she can’t fall asleep. She’s having a very quiet, but very real panic attack right there in Owen’s arms. I feel like there’s a part of Owen and Cristina that knew – even as they were finally having sex after all this time – that this was actually a goodbye.

NOW – Alex Karev. Can I just say – the minute I saw the first cut of this episode, I ran into Shonda’s office and declared that Alex should ALWAYS do the voice over because it is just so fantastic! Right from the start, the second you hear Alex’s voice and see him pacing outside of Izzie’s room… you know this episode is a little bit different. It has a different energy, a different pace. Did you notice all the quiet, haunting moments? Did you notice there wasn’t a single big, scary medical Act Out? This episode is quiet. It’s still. It needs to sit in its quiet moments, not breeze past them.

I adore Alex, always have. And this was the perfect time to have him narrate the show, since he’s just learned that Izzie is dying. When Alex is venting to Meredith in the on-call room-- Oh man. (I’ll just preface this with the fact that – as I mentioned before,  I am a bit of a sap and, yes, sometimes I cry easily) but  I’m telling you –  we ALL teared up on set when we were shooting Justin in that scene. He’s just tremendous. We don’t get to see Alex Karev be vulnerable very often, so when we finally do… It is so worth it. Especially when he says that this wasn’t how he wanted to make a baby with Izzie... Love him. Couldn’t love him more in that moment.

And I’ve saved the best, of course, for last. The Elevator Proposal.

First of all, you should know that there’s a long standing debate in our writers’ room about what does or does not make for a good marriage proposal. Some of us prefer what Shonda calls the Oooey Gooey Disgusting stuff –  the more traditional proposals, usually involving grand gestures and flowers and rings and romance. But Shonda’s taste is exactly the opposite of any of that. The minute one of us launches into a romantic recounting of one of our own marriage proposals… Shonda basically covers her ears as though they might bleed. To her, those oooey gooey romance filled proposals are pretty much akin to… well… Hell. Which is why she’s Shonda. She’s a little dark and twisty - in all the best ways. It’s also what makes her a little like Meredith Grey.

So you can imagine just how hard it was to come up with what the perfect marriage proposal might be for Meredith Grey. It couldn’t be oooey and gooey. Couldn’t be a traditional, down on one knee proposal. But it’s also a piece of Grey’s Anatomy history, five seasons in the making. It needed to be true to who Meredith and Derek are together – what their history is, why they love each other, how they understand each other…

And it did have to be romantic. But not predictably romantic. It had to feel magical and fresh and totally, completely perfect for Meredith and Derek.

So what better place than their elevator? And what better way than by revisiting their lives together as doctors? It would be wrong for Derek Shepherd to get down on one knee. Even worse for him to offer up the ring he hit into the woods. Derek needed to give Meredith HER perfect proposal. Which, as it turns out, involved an elevator, light boxes and a lot of brain scans.

I love that Meredith only says yes when the proposal is right. She stays true to herself; she won’t say yes out of pity or because Derek needs an ego boost. She will only – can only – say yes once Izzie is fine. Once Derek is fine. Once the proposal is finally, totally right. And what I love is that what makes the proposal right is that Derek finally gets it. He finally understands and accepts completely who Meredith really is. Sure – she’s got a dark side. She’s seen more trauma in her life than most people. And, amazingly, she’s just about the only person this entire episode NOT suffering from PTSD. As Derek says, she’s seen worse, she’s survived worse, and she knows the people around her will survive it too.

What I love is that Derek finally puts into words the one thing she really needs to hear from him. That Meredith’s dark side is not a flaw, it’s her strength. It’s what makes her who she is. And that’s why he loves her.

See? Not too cheesy. Not too sappy. Magical proposals CAN be achieved, even without rose petals and rings in champagne glasses! Although, it does help when Grisly Adams finally shaves off his beard!

When I was pitching my episode down to Shonda, back when it was just an idea and nothing more, Shonda stopped me mid-pitch to say this: “Stacy. Just so you’re clear, if you pitch me that the last scene of your entire episode is the proposal, I will vomit.”

Which, given the fact that proposals basically make Shonda break out in hives, I should have been prepared for… And though it is entirely possible I maybe might have once upon a time planned on ending the episode with the Elevator Proposal, that is NOT how I pitched it. And that is NOT how I wrote it. Because that would have just been too Oooey and gooey. Too romantic. Too cheesy. Too me. And not enough Meredith Grey.

Plus, I really really hate vomit.

Comments

[Hebreathesforher]

Thank You Stacy....thank you for a perfect episode.
yes I do think there was a lot going on, but you balanced it beautifully.
And as a fan of this show and a fan of Meredith and Derek I thank you for giving me a perfect episode. Seeing Meredith be so strong for Derek, Seeing Derek come back to being him and that proposal! Wow! That walk down memory lane, the realizations by Der about Mer and why he loves her. Letting her hear that she is not flawed, but strong..
was perfect and I felt that you showed apprectiation and respect for the fans by using the history for the proposal and I loved Derek not asking or getting down on one knee. This was perfect
An elevator full of lighted brain ct scans trumps a room full of rose petals, candles and teddy bears...save that for Izzy, this is Mer/Der!
Thank you again for restoring my faith in Grey's

[Lisa]

Meredith and Derek are engaged!!!!!!!!!

Seriously, one of the best moments (if not the best) on Grey's Anatomy. It truly was five years in the making. Thank you for giving the characters and the fans what we've been waiting for so long.

It was PERFECT. It was very them, the words, the setting, the details, everything.

Great episode overall, Alex was great, he always shines, you should use Justin Chambers more. He rocked all of his scenes.

Loved the Chief stepping up for Mer.

Mer being strong, what can I say? It's amazing.

[f.s.]

LOVED this episode!
Ok, so I know Owen went all ptsd on christina, but did she REALLY have to break up with him????? Come on!!! I know it was a harsh thing, and frankly pretty darn tough to watch,him choking her, but am I the only freak out there who wants to see them make it???? he's broken, but he can be fixed, right? I'm still on the fence about the whole Izzie sick/surgery thing, but i love that she gave the scarf to Bailey(I LOVE BAILEY, i even named my cat after her ).
Alex made me cry at the end, JC knocked it outta the park this week. And of course who can forget the elevator proposal? loved it, not too sappy, because frankly, sappy makes me want to vomit too (sorry stacy!), but i did have one thing i didnt love, can meredith PLEASE tell derek that she loves him??? please? i know she said yes, but can the girl give us an i love ya??? thats all i ask, just one!
I enjoyed how you tied in all of izzies friends rallying hoping that izzie lived, with the story of the family finally ready to let go already. it was harsh at first, but in the end was very beautiful. maybe i am reading it wrong, but i took something out of it, and it made me cry, and really put a bow on the episode for me. so, i have typed enough. i'm a freak for grey's. and just letting you know, i am a fan who is in it for the long haul, been a avid watcher since the pilot. I have all the seasons on dvd, and will stay with you guys. just give me a i love you derek, and we will be cool. :)

[Nona]

Ugh when will it be George's chance to shine? Given the fact you never mention him like ever, I guess it never will be. I couldn't care less about Alex.

I love George and I am tired of everyone getting airtime but him.

I hate Alex, always have, always will. Izzie belongs with George.

I have had it with this show!

[GreyCat]

Really fine episode. Mer/Der fans must be thrilled. I'm glad that you are finally letting Mer mature because for a long time she was such an annoying twit, I couldn't have cared less but I do care again.

I hope it's not really goodbye for Christina and Owen. I thought that the fact that this has made him realize he absolutely has to stop toughing it out and get help left the door open for healing and a way for them to work their way back to each other. It was realistic for Christina to realize she couldn't just keep toughing this out either but it would be nice to see her be a supportive friend as Owen gets treatment. I have always loved Christina and this has really been her season to shine. Sandra Oh is an amazing actress. We believe in Christina's transitions because she makes them so believable. One little beef. You'd think Owen would figure out that it was the whole fan/rotating blades thing that was the trigger.

You did a great job with bringing the originals back together in ways that have been missing for a long time. Early in the season it was as if George and Callie had never existed as a couple or George and Izzie as best friends or Callie and Izzie as enemies and it was good to see that all back again. Chief is much more like his old self, the man he was before you started writing him as such an idiot and Bailey was wonderful as usual.

There was hardly any Sloan and Lexie and I didn't notice or miss them. That storyline is definitely the weak link.

As a long time fan of Alex, I especially loved that you didn't do another Alex freaks and withdraws into his sarcastic self episode. This was the Alex who took Izzie in his arms after Denny's death, the Alex we always knew was there inside. The story of the old dying lady and her impatient family was perfect.

Congrats on a return, after a long detour, to what made me love this show in the first place.

One more thing: I see you're introducing another character, the beautiful but really mean oncologist. She doesn't seem very realistic. Doctors are rarely quite that harsh. Can't imagine what you're going to do with her or who you're going to pair her with. Don't think you need to keep throwing in so many new characters. Rather have you go deeper with the ones we've got, the ones we've always cared about. Owen is the only new one this season who is a keeper in my book. And what a keeper! I'm still going to root for a christina/Owen rebirth.

[Jenny]

5 Seasons in, and Meredith and Derek are still the hottest thing on the show. The proposal, perfect. Now LET'S SEE THE MEREDITH AND DEREK MARRIAGE and LET'S SEE THE BABIES!

But for now, thank you. Meredith and Derek have been on our screens since the first scene of the first episode and for tonight and what's to come for their future, Thank you, sincerely, thank you.

[J9]

True to form this was Grey's at its finest. I kept rewinding to rewatch almost every scene over and over. Loved, loved Alex!! Justine deserves an Emmy!! And Owen and Christina were just heart-breakingly beautiful to watch. While watching the elevator proposal I was going back in my mind of all the history of the past 5 seasons of Mer and Der. This is one of the best seasons and I have been a loyal fan from the beginning. Keep it going!!!

[Lisa]

What about George in all this? You know, George, the heart and soul of the show. The one so many of us love. Have you forrgotten him or something?

Is there a reason why you act like if he and Izzie get to be best friends like they used to be, the screen will explode.

How many times do we have to tell you we miss their friendship and we miss George for you to get it?

Wow - seriously that is one of the most amazing episodes of this year. Almost too much to comment on. Take a bow Stacey! And thank you.

Bailey rocked in this one - supportive of Izzy and Derek helping them both get through a difficult day and reassuring in her presence near them. The chief also redeemed himself in this one being supportive and helping Derek and Izzie and Alex.

The senior lady case was touching and very well written as you didn't find out til later why they kept hoping she had gone but when she did they still felt the loss deeply.

Christina was excellent in this episode and I'm glad she spoke to Owen about her fears and that led him to being scanned and hopefully some therapy.

I love the original 5 interns and nice to see them more together in this episode but very disappointed in that they didn't visit Izzy. I expected more of them in that regard even though we all know they cared deeply about her. Alex sharing her bed was sweet and Izzy needed that.

That oncologist while she may be excellent needs better bed manners. She could have said something like Izzy you have alot of medical procedures ahead of you and we need you to be strong and help us help you. I will have to give you very aggressive treatment and it will not be easy but we'll all be there for you. Ok?

Poor Derek rejected at breakfast and before surgery. His heartfelt plea in the hallway to Meredith made me want to hug him or kiss him. I get why she said what she did and it was a boost but I still think he needed a hug and reassurance she will be there after no matter what. Then after surgery he felt so low and she didn't come to see him. Loved the ferry boat cap though. But the elevator scene - yeah as a Meredith and Derek fan I've waited a long time for that. It was well done and I loved it! The only thing that could have topped it was him putting the ring on her finger but maybe next episode. Needless to say this elevator moment was my favorite moment of the episode. But Derek having a successful surgery especially considering who it was - came a close second. He needed that and Derek and Meredith fans needed the elevator scene. His speech to her was a nice flashback to their professional and personal relationship moments. I love elevator moments with these two!

[CC]

PERFECT! ABSOLUTELY PERFECT!

[Ingrid]

George is Izzie,s best friend and person. Please remember that and stop acting like they are strangers. Real Izzie would have told George, and real George wouldn't have needed Callie to go to Izzie.

[famous Artist]

i cried.

[canadian]

Good work!

[Bella]

Bravo..........a perfect 10.

[MerDerFan77]

Thank you so much for this episode. The MerDer proposal was absolutely perfect. Mer was soooo strong for everyone and in the end her face was glowing in the elevator. You did a fantastic job, Stacey!

[Fatimah]

I waited the entire episode for the proposal and figured/hoped it would be a sappy elevator moment. But i must say i was pleasantly surprised. i think the proposal was exactly perfect for MerDer.

I was a bit upset.disappointed that non of the residents (except Bailey) was at Izzie's bedside before going into surgery. I understand how hard it must have been for them but it was pretty callous and she would never have done that to any of them. i mean she could have died without them saying goodbye (but hey, she dint so its all good)

[natnel56]

OMG best episode of this season!

Stuff merder, who gives a damn about their on/off crap anymore?

Cristina and Owen's story line was beautiful and heat breaking and, for once, I think you actually got one thing right Greys. Although the choking was really disturbing, sandra and kevin pulled it off and knocked katherine's chance of winning an emmy out of the park.

Cristina and owen: best thing to happen on greys
Sandra and kevin: both need an emmy
Everyone else: Who cares when cristina and owen are this wonderful!

[S.Cali]

EXCELLENT!

The proposal was so great and so perfect for the two characters. The whole red roses and giant white bear thing that Sloane tried to get Derek to do the first time was just such a bad fit for Derek and Meredith. This, however, was perfect!

And who doesn't love Alex (and Justin!) after tonight's episode?!?!

Lastly, so great to see (slightly) more of George. Can we please see more??

(Oh, also wonderful to see Izzie knitting again. Way to bring back something from season 2!)

[TAV]

Thank you.

[MindyM]

Well, Stacy, this episode made me cry again. That makes three weeks in a row. That's a new world's record. I was so emotional that I needed to wait a while before I came here to post my thoughts.

To say this episode was intense is an understatement. Starting off with that horrific scene of Owen choking Cristina in his sleep, well, I knew that this was going to be a difficult one. I have some experience with PTSD myself. Ironically, it was because of my experience with domestic violence in my marriage. I know that this episode had precisely nothing to do with domestic violence. But I did suffer from PTSD in the months after I separated from my husband. It's something I rarely talk about. It's in the past and that's where I prefer to keep it. My PTSD took the form of terrible nightmares that would make me wake up shaking and trembling. I got counseling at a battered women's group to help me deal with it. I never tried to choke anyone. Mine was internalized. But I could totally empathize with Owen. It's a truly horrendous thing to experience. The bottom line is that this guy needs help. You simply cannot get over this by yourself. Shonda may not like therapy, but in this case it's a necessity. It's a tough process, very painful, but worthwhile in the end. If you can come through it, then you can be whole again.

I think I knew that Owen and Cristina would break up. Once I realized how bad Owen's PTSD really was, I knew there was no way they could be together. I felt a kind of heaviness in my heart for them. I sensed it even more in that beautifully passionate love scene. How painful to finally be intimate with someone you love and then have to let it go. Cristina's face said it all as she lay there with Owen, afraid to go to sleep. But I am so proud of her for having the courage to break up with Owen. I hated to see it happen, but I knew it had to be done. No question about it.

I think this was Alex's finest hour. I have always had a soft spot for him, because I knew he had a good heart deep inside him. His pain was palpable and difficult to watch. The scene with him and Mer brought me to tears. Life is so unfair. This shouldn't be happening. He and Izzie should be happily planning a family together. They should be talking about their dreams and hopes for the future. Congratulations to Justin Chambers for being up to the task here. He managed to communicate all of the heartache, anger, pain, resentment and sorrow with dignity and strength. I loved Mer saying, I know, over and over. That's all she could do. There was nothing else to say. The whole thing is beyond a nightmare. But it has brought out the best in the fab five. Their grief and rage and anger was both touching and real. They have been so very close. I think the seriousness of Izzie's illness was handled with taste and respect. That was important to me. No silly interns, no absurd patient stories. It doesn't get any harder than when you are staring death in the face.

I loved Der coming back to save Izzie. I loved Mer not accepting the proposal until it was right. My goodness, she has really come a long, long way. In saving Izzie, Der saved himself. Mer knew that's the way it had to be. I so loved the elevator proposal. That is when I started crying and couldn't stop. Der's words were so loving and totally accepting. It was music to my ears. I know that I write long posts here, but I really don't have adequate words to express how much Der's proposal to Mer meant to me. I have survived so much trauma in my life and come out on the other side. I understood what his words meant. It was magnificent. I couldn't have wished for more.

If Shonda wants to know, I am okay with the proposal not being the end of the episode. In fact, I didn't expect it to be. That's okay. The fact that it finally happened is all I need. I love Mer and how strong and healthy and mature she has become. I love Der for truly understanding who she is and loving her for it. My heart is full at this moment. I could not have asked for anything more from you writers.

Thank you for an exceptional moment in the history of Grey's. Everyone, writers, cast, all of you have joined together to give me a special gift that I will always cherish.

[luvsgreysa]

All that waiting and anticipation finally paid off for the MerDer diehards. And I so knew it would be a silent proposal, not with the ususal question and knee bend. It was perfect MerDer.
Another stellar performance out of Justin Chambers. And to think he wasn't one of the original interns in the beginning. What a loss that would have been to the ensemble. Bailey being Bailey, love her supporting everyone. Owen , hope he makes it past the PTSD and soon he is just so hot paired with Cristina. And that love scene was so delicious! Thank you for that! All in all, a magnificiant epi all around!

[HeavyD]

This was crazy good, I liked how relevant it was. Loved the George Callie scenes, loved that the affair was mentioned, and that we finally got to see Callie and Christina living in the same space. Loved the interactions between Mer and Callie, and Derek and Owen. I actually loved everything (except the choking) Yay Grey's

[Dani]

Stacey, thank you for the great episode! Just like you when I heard Alex doing the voice over my heart skipped a little :) His voice and the way you wrote every line that he said was PERFECT.

His break down with Meredith was heartbreaking and totally honest, sincere. Thank you for giving great scenes to Justin, he is showing the excellent actor he is.

I'm not a merder shipper but have to tell you this: love the way you wrote the proposal. Very clever and very Meredith. They deserve some happiness after 5 seasons.

Now Izzie.. gosh I was so sorry for her the whole epi :( Staying there in that hospital bed alone.. it must be hard. I get that her friends were scared and had their personal problems, but it was not fair letting her alone. LOVED Bailey, love love love her. She is the best as usual, and her conection with Izzie is beautiful and sweet, thanks for that too, btw.

Have to confess that when the epi was finishing I thought: OMG, no AI scene?? Are they crazy? hahaha but then that 20 seconds made my day. Alex won't avoid her anymore, she needs him, she needs the person that loves her since day one. Their small scene wasn't enough for me, but today I'm not here to complain. The episode was really well written and I'm glad you are bringing back the real Grey's Anatomy, focused on the fab 5.

[mamaloa]

This episode was pretty good. I loved the scene where Bailey was there for Izzy. Bailey's an amazing character, and I think you need to make her shine more. Alex was wonderful tonight. JC deserves and emmy award. I love the the scene where he placed his swimmers next to the chief while he was eating. That was the funniest scene this episode. Owen and Christina, OMG, that was scarey when he strangled her. The acting with SO and KM was amazing. I love PD clean shaven. Love the beard too, but I think clean shaven is the best. I still like PD and KW's chemistry better.

[Lisa]

OMG... This episode was seriously THE BEST EVER!

I am so happy Mer/Der are finally engaged! The elevator proposal was brilliant.

Cristina and Owen, what can I say every scene of theirs was brilliantly acted and heartwrenching! These two actors are AMAZING and the characters are sublime! It is so easy to see the LOVE between these two even when they are heartbroken! Let's get Owen therapy, so these two can find there way back to each other. PLEASE! Also extra kudos to the writers for handling the PTSD issue in a realistic way.

Alex was heartbreaking to watch! He was so sweet!

Just an absolutely fabulous episode all around, my favorite because of the proposal and consummation!!!