Stacy McKee on "Elevator Love Letter"...

Original Airdate: 3-26-09

Just so you know, I am a sap when it comes to marriage proposal stories. I love them. I love hearing them, I love telling them… I fully enjoy all the cheesy romantic oooey gooey-ness. I LOVE that Derek proposed! I LOVE that Meredith said yes! I can’t help it. I’m just cheesy that way.

But first things first. Entirely too much happened in this episode. TOO MUCH. Owen went all PTSD and choked Cristina in his sleep then she forgave him and they had ridiculously beautiful sex until she realized she had to dump him after all. Alex snooched (yes, you heard me right. Snooched.) into a cup for Izzie so her eggs could be extracted, fertilized, and frozen before her body gets all sick with radiation and chemo. Derek finally came back from the woods looking all Grisly Adams-ish to operate on Izzie’s brain and – and then… there’s that elevator. Where Derek proposed to Meredith, and she said YES.

Yup. Too much happened in this episode. I’m overwhelmed. I don’t know what to talk about first.

Let’s start with the unpleasant part. Owen. And the choking. This was a tricky one. Let’s be clear. This is not a guy attacking a woman because he’s a guy who attacks women. We did not set out to tell a story about domestic abuse. This is a story about PTSD.

Owen is completely asleep when he attacks Cristina. Asleep, having a nightmare. Remember the story we did earlier this season about the guy with night terrors? Same thing. Did you see how dead Owen’s eyes look? He has no awareness of what’s happening. And the moment he wakes up, when Callie calls his name and he snaps out of the nightmare – Owen is more discombobulated and confused than anyone else. That’s why Cristina’s line is so important, when she asks Meredith if it would be any more appropriate to abandon Owen right now than it would be to abandon someone who had suffered a stroke or a heart attack. Owen is wounded. He does have war wounds. Which, as a doctor, Cristina recognizes. And she’s not going to let that intimidate her. She knows wounds can be healed.

The point isn’t the choking, it’s where Owen goes from here... The story we’ve always wanted to tell is one of healing and awareness and treatment for PTSD. That’s part of what you’ll see Owen struggling with in episodes to come. But before we can get there, before Owen can be truly willing to seek out help – we needed to see him hit rock bottom. We needed him to realize that his symptoms aren’t necessarily within his own control. We needed him to choke Cristina.

And if you felt a little worried when Cristina and Owen started to kiss, if you felt a little twinge of heartbreak for the two of them as they finally, beautifully consummated their relationship… that’s what you were supposed to feel. It’s exactly what we see creeping into Cristina’s face, after the sex, when she can’t fall asleep. She’s having a very quiet, but very real panic attack right there in Owen’s arms. I feel like there’s a part of Owen and Cristina that knew – even as they were finally having sex after all this time – that this was actually a goodbye.

NOW – Alex Karev. Can I just say – the minute I saw the first cut of this episode, I ran into Shonda’s office and declared that Alex should ALWAYS do the voice over because it is just so fantastic! Right from the start, the second you hear Alex’s voice and see him pacing outside of Izzie’s room… you know this episode is a little bit different. It has a different energy, a different pace. Did you notice all the quiet, haunting moments? Did you notice there wasn’t a single big, scary medical Act Out? This episode is quiet. It’s still. It needs to sit in its quiet moments, not breeze past them.

I adore Alex, always have. And this was the perfect time to have him narrate the show, since he’s just learned that Izzie is dying. When Alex is venting to Meredith in the on-call room-- Oh man. (I’ll just preface this with the fact that – as I mentioned before,  I am a bit of a sap and, yes, sometimes I cry easily) but  I’m telling you –  we ALL teared up on set when we were shooting Justin in that scene. He’s just tremendous. We don’t get to see Alex Karev be vulnerable very often, so when we finally do… It is so worth it. Especially when he says that this wasn’t how he wanted to make a baby with Izzie... Love him. Couldn’t love him more in that moment.

And I’ve saved the best, of course, for last. The Elevator Proposal.

First of all, you should know that there’s a long standing debate in our writers’ room about what does or does not make for a good marriage proposal. Some of us prefer what Shonda calls the Oooey Gooey Disgusting stuff –  the more traditional proposals, usually involving grand gestures and flowers and rings and romance. But Shonda’s taste is exactly the opposite of any of that. The minute one of us launches into a romantic recounting of one of our own marriage proposals… Shonda basically covers her ears as though they might bleed. To her, those oooey gooey romance filled proposals are pretty much akin to… well… Hell. Which is why she’s Shonda. She’s a little dark and twisty - in all the best ways. It’s also what makes her a little like Meredith Grey.

So you can imagine just how hard it was to come up with what the perfect marriage proposal might be for Meredith Grey. It couldn’t be oooey and gooey. Couldn’t be a traditional, down on one knee proposal. But it’s also a piece of Grey’s Anatomy history, five seasons in the making. It needed to be true to who Meredith and Derek are together – what their history is, why they love each other, how they understand each other…

And it did have to be romantic. But not predictably romantic. It had to feel magical and fresh and totally, completely perfect for Meredith and Derek.

So what better place than their elevator? And what better way than by revisiting their lives together as doctors? It would be wrong for Derek Shepherd to get down on one knee. Even worse for him to offer up the ring he hit into the woods. Derek needed to give Meredith HER perfect proposal. Which, as it turns out, involved an elevator, light boxes and a lot of brain scans.

I love that Meredith only says yes when the proposal is right. She stays true to herself; she won’t say yes out of pity or because Derek needs an ego boost. She will only – can only – say yes once Izzie is fine. Once Derek is fine. Once the proposal is finally, totally right. And what I love is that what makes the proposal right is that Derek finally gets it. He finally understands and accepts completely who Meredith really is. Sure – she’s got a dark side. She’s seen more trauma in her life than most people. And, amazingly, she’s just about the only person this entire episode NOT suffering from PTSD. As Derek says, she’s seen worse, she’s survived worse, and she knows the people around her will survive it too.

What I love is that Derek finally puts into words the one thing she really needs to hear from him. That Meredith’s dark side is not a flaw, it’s her strength. It’s what makes her who she is. And that’s why he loves her.

See? Not too cheesy. Not too sappy. Magical proposals CAN be achieved, even without rose petals and rings in champagne glasses! Although, it does help when Grisly Adams finally shaves off his beard!

When I was pitching my episode down to Shonda, back when it was just an idea and nothing more, Shonda stopped me mid-pitch to say this: “Stacy. Just so you’re clear, if you pitch me that the last scene of your entire episode is the proposal, I will vomit.”

Which, given the fact that proposals basically make Shonda break out in hives, I should have been prepared for… And though it is entirely possible I maybe might have once upon a time planned on ending the episode with the Elevator Proposal, that is NOT how I pitched it. And that is NOT how I wrote it. Because that would have just been too Oooey and gooey. Too romantic. Too cheesy. Too me. And not enough Meredith Grey.

Plus, I really really hate vomit.

Comments

[Matthew Rushing]

One word..... Awesome!

This show has been worth sticking with because the drama is so good. Great characters, original story lines and a wonderful cast. Thank you for not letting mr down and keeping me begging for more.

[Barb]

OMG OMG OMG OMG....Loved this episode. I loved everything about it, even the parts that made me cry.

Owen and Christina....so cried here. I want Owen whole, so he and Christina can be beautiful together. Finally, a hot, sexy, steamy sex scene. Loved it.

Teriffic, absolutely wonderful episode. But, seriously, 4 week break???? Is that true. I won't be able to stand it.

[Erika Soto]

AMAZING! You guys are a flock of pure genious.

Please don't kill Izzie.

[PamelaJaye]

will read in the morning

I LOVE grand gestures and that was the best.
THANKS TO YOU AND SHONDA
(and may Justin get an Emmy)

[zandme]

I loved this episode. I cried through most of it. Absolutely heart renching.

[zandme]

By the way, I wish I had my own McDreamy. It was the perfect proposal for them. PERFECT!

[Mary]

I loved that the proposal was so unique unlike the roses and big teddy bear he first got. More importantly, it was uniquely them. So proud of Mer holding her ground and waiting for Derek to give her a real proposal, not a plea for help. Love that Derek told her that being dark and twisty was a strength and that she moves forward - especially after all the times he has accused her of not being ready to move forward - but now she so clearly is ready.

[Jackie H.]

I must say I LOVED the way Derek proposed, it was so cute and perfect for them. Great idea to have it in the elevator, a place where so many things happen on grey's. I'm still jumping up and down after that and the episode only just ended for me here on the west coast.

On another note I am so sad about poor Christina and Izzy. I hope Christina and Owen can get back together after he works out his problems, I really want Christina to be happy. That goes for Izzy and Alex, they're my absolute favorite and I really hope she does not die, I want the two of them to have their happily ever after. Thank you for such an amazing episode. Their were times when I was crying my eyes out and times when I was crying out o pure happiness for mer/der. thanks again loved the episode.
please let Izzy and Alex be together. I feel so bad for the guy, he has gone through so much and so has Izzy, they need to be happy

[KarenP]

Tell me you guys are going to put Cristina and Owen back together, because WOWZA, the choking, the fear, he wanting to break up with her, she breaking up with him, WOWZA.

[Kelly]

Have to start by talking about Meredith and Derek. AMAZING! The elevator scene was so perfect. I love this new depth and maturity. This season of Grey's has been one of my favorites because I adore ALL the pairings this year and because the drama and angst is internal. No cheating, no random hookups and one night stands. It's realistic and internal angst and I'm loving it. Also I love that this year more characters and actors are getting the chance to shine.

In this episode I love Callie's friendship with Cristina. I miss George and Callie scenes and I'm starting to really root for Callie and Arizona. Arizona is likeable. I missed seeing Mark and Lexie but the focus was appropriately on Izzie and Derek's first day back. Finally just like when the chief, Callie, Lexie, Mark are given the opportunity to shine those actors knock it out of the park, well so does Justin Chambers. Alex is another one of the underrated side characters who is truly a lead. Karev is one of my favorites. I adore his depth and liked him with Addison and Izzie. Alex is a complex character who has really grown. Justin Chambers really blew me away and reminded how much I do like him and Izzie together. Alex needs a person though, so does Owen, Lexie and Arizona. Also Derek still owes Mark an apology.

[Michelle]

Best proposal ever. Glad Derek shaved. Felt oh so sorry for Izzie and her empty hospital room. Loved Bailey. Finally the chief's meddling did some good. Him not letting Mer on the first elevator was CLASSIC.

[Cynthia]

This was such a great episode. Kudos Stacy for the great writing.

I was pleasantly surprised to hear Alex do the voice over. I loved it and thought it was perfect. Justin Chambers was PHENOMENAL through out the episode and my heart broke for Alex when he was in the on-call room and said this wasn't how he and Izzie were supposed to make a baby. Also at the end when he laid next to Izzie and help her hand - beautiful. I'm so excited to see where Alex is going and where his relationship with Izzie is headed. The focus and development for Alex has been long overdue and I'm loving every bit of it.

The Mer/Der proposal scene in the elevator was a nice touch. Sweet and romantic without being cheesy. Nice job. I'm happy that Derek is back to work.

The Izzie and Bailey scenes were really great too.

All around it was a great episode with some stellar acting!

[Kasey]

Amazing job tonight! There was so much excellant material that was exciting, heart wrenching and emotional. I had tears through majority of the episode but I'm so glad the show is back on track that just makes me smile and giddy. It was amazing! Great job to everyone on producing such a good episode.

[Jo]

Loved it....all of it!

[Rizzie]

Loved this episode... I won't be able to sleep tonight... I just loved it.... Although... I seriously hope the guys will be with Izzie for the next op... comon! you showed us an ep about friendship last week and now they all avoid her! Keep bringing us great eps like this one :)

[Deanne]

The proposal was PERFECT. sad they didnt have more. They deserved more than Meredith crawling into bed with Cristina. GRRRRR.

[molly]

thank you, thank you, THANK YOU.

this was 5 seasons in the making and worth every second.

truly perfect.

love greys. love the actors. love the writers

[Jessica]

They're engaged. Finally!! I wish for an hour of just MerDer!!!

[bubbysbu]

Okay, Owen strangling Christina really freaked me out! Totally unexpected and I kept thinking oh my god how is she going to get him to stop. Thank god for Callie (btw love the blue eyeliner later in the show, it would only work for Callie - love her!). Alex made me cry, I don't usually like him (I perfer Denny - even a dead Deny is better then Alex) but Alex was really good today, especially when he cried - ah cried - to Meredith. And then there was the proposal. Loved it, so Meredith, so Derek understanding Meredith. Just call me jealous. Great job writers on this episode - I wish I were one of you.

[Samantha]

This episode was AMAZING!

The proposal was PERFECT!

GOOD JOB!

One of the best episodes of Grey's Anatomy.

[Terri]

Beautiful, brilliant, perfect!!!!!!

[Avey]

I just loved it all!!!

[Cindy]

I think my favorite part of this episode was seeing far Christina has come in her approach to relationships. She says that she cannot abandon Owen because of his PTSD much like she could not abandon him if it were a heart attack. But when Burke was shot and had a more visible, relatable injury, she cowered and for a while did abandon him. And that was one of the major problems in Burke and Christina's relationship - that she was not able to accept weakness. But time has passed, and she's grown up a lot and learned from the mistakes of her past. It was such subtle character growth, achieved so naturally. Fantastic.

[CRIS and Owen FANx Infinity!!!]

Ok, yesterday, when I first saw the sneak peek of the choking scene, I felt pretty ambivalent about it.

I was pretty terrified actually. I was worried that Owen's reputation as a good man would be completely ruined. I was worried that Cris would be seriously hurt and in spite of it, still want to take Owen back (We don't like to see Cris as a battered woman). I was also worried that this ep would end the epic romance of Cris and Owen.

Then, I finally saw the ep today and...........I stayed up late at night just to write this post.

I'm so glad that the choking scene happened. It was horrible, it was terrifying, and upsetting, but it made sense and it ultimately furthered the development of the characters.

I also believe that Owen is not the type of man who hurts a woman just for the heck of it. He's not a bad man. He's just a damaged man. However, just because he was asleep at the moment of the attack doesn't completely absolve him of his guilt. I'm glad to see that in the end, he was man enough to seek the help that he desperately needs. Cristina deserves better.

I so completely did not expect Cris and Owen to make love in this ep but it was an unexpected but appropriate surprise. The lovemaking scene was done very tastefully. The scene was sensual, romantic, and ultimately heartbreaking. It was a very bittersweet scene and I found myself crying, much to my embarrassment. Something about Owen and Cristina has a way of making me all gross and mushy inside.

I'm very glad that Cristina broke up with Owen even though I believe in CrisxOwen. Owen desperately needs help and right now, Cristina is kind of scared of him in spite of her love and devotion for him.

Owen is a big and muscular guy. That makes him incredibly sexy but also potentially very scary and DANGEROUS when he's in his "unconscious killer" mode. (talk about a "sleeper agent"!!) So yes, cris needed to break up with him and maintain some distance while he gets the help he needs.

I *DO* hope that they will still interact with each other though. I would be upset if they ended up not talking to each other at all until Owen gets better. I don't know if I can stand it if they're apart for a long time.

Anyways, this episode was fantastic. It was...so sad and wonderful. Even though Cris and Owen have most of my attention, every character had a really good story in this ep. This ep was FANTASTIC! I will be buying this ep on itunes without a doubt!!

Cris and Owen is way better and way more tragic than Romeo and Juliet in my opinion. Please writers! Give Cris and Owen the happy ending they deserve!! They need to be together in the end (In life, not in death like most tragic romances!!).

I've been a fan of GA for a long time but Owen's addition to the show has completely revitalized my love for GA. Before Owen, I didn't even bother to post comments online!!

I'm glad you guys are careful to depict the ugliness of PTSD in a sensitive manner. PTSD is very serious and shouldn't be depicted in a flippant manner.

and i'm SO proud of Mer and Callie for being protective of Cris. They were being really good friends when they blocked Owen from Cris. Yes, Owen isn't an evil man and he wouldn't hurt Cris when he's in his right mind. But still, the job of friends is to protect their girl from danger, and Callie and Mer did that to the best of their ability. Kudos to them!!

ps
SO and KMK so need an emmy if only because of this episode!! If they don't win SOME kind of award, it'll be because the whole system is rigged!!!

pps
KMK's body is.......man-a-licious!! Even though I was really heartbroken during the lovemaking scene, I couldn't help but admire his broad chest and muscular arms. WOW. Mrs. McKidd is one lucky woman!

ppps

Somebody said something really funny in the message boards. Someone said Cris should handcuff Owen to the bed after making love so they can both sleep peacefully. LOL That's an idea...isn't it writers? That's certainly a faster solution than therapy LOL.

[Cristina]

Thank you, thank you, thank you for giving us the most wonderful episode ever!!