Jenna Bans on "I Will Follow You Into The Dark"...

Original Airdate: 3-12-09

Okay, people…step away from the comment section…step away from the phone (no one at ABC’s gonna answer at this hour anyway, trust me)…and hear a writer out. I know what you’re all thinking – HOW COULD THEY HUMILIATE SHADOW SHEPHERD LIKE THAT!?  Just kidding. We’ll talk Mer/Der and the bat and the ring, we will, but first I would actually like to start with Shadow Shepherd, ‘cause he’s part of the bigger issue here which is…

Derek Shepherd is not in a good place right now. In fact, dude’s pretty much at his worst. Remember when our friendly neighborhood serial killer Eric Stolz told him they had a lot in common? Derek’s started to believe him. What I love about this storyline, besides that it gives the talented Patrick Dempsey a chance to show us just how big his acting range is, is that you’d never think it would happen to Shepherd. Shepherd knows brains like I know…well, nothing. Maybe chocolate. But the point is, he’s not just a star in his field, he runs his field. It’s like the Pope having a crisis of faith.  And everyone’s feeling it – Mark, literally with his maimed hand, Richard, who can’t possibly run his surgical floor without his star neurosurgeon…and sad little Shadow Shepherd, who finally gets his shot to impress his colleagues, and not one of them can even remember his name. (Even writing the script, I couldn’t keep it straight. When Darren, our script coordinator, was clearing the names, he’d call me and be like – so, it’s John, but everyone keeps calling him Jim, right? And I’d be all, yes. Wait, no. Wait, yes.) And it’s not because he’s not a good surgeon, it’s just with Shepherd around, who pays attention to the bald dude in glasses? In the end,  Derek’s legendary status ends up hurting Derek the most. Because when people expect greatness out of you 24/7, it’s damn near impossible to live up to. You’re bound to take a big fall.

Like the interns do, I’d like you to ask yourselves – if you were handed a death sentence today, couple of months to live, what’s the first thing you’d do? Personally, I wouldn’t waste any time. I’d immediately re-introduce trans fats into my diet and then hop a plane to one of those huts over the ocean in Bali where the floor is glass so you can experience all the marine life without actually having to get wet. But that’s me. Izzie’s clearly a better person. Just when she’s found her niche at SGH, teaching the interns, she gets slapped with cancer. Wear sunscreen. But instead of hightailing it to a Balinese paradise (seriously, those huts look COOL) she takes her devastating diagnosis and channels it into an educational - albeit macabre - game for her interns, who are sorely in need of some attention. Shonda’s had this Patient X thing in her head for a long, long time – and when she first pitched it out, I immediately loved it. And hated it. I still love and hate it. Because it’s so totally messed up and unfair. What Izzie’s doing, teaching the interns, is a selfless, meaningful endeavor that no one else, even Alex, will ever give her credit for. Everyone’s been busy clamoring for surgeries while Izzie’s quietly achieved the impossible – she’s turned the gaggle of morons we met in season 4 into doctors. And now she’s DYING. And no one gets her, and no one knows it, and it’s seriously UNFAIR. Wear sunscreen.

Except Cristina.  Now A LOT of thought and discussion went into the decision that the person Izzie goes to first should be Cristina. And some of you were probably thinking, why not Alex? Why not George? Hell, why not Mer? And that’s what Izzie was thinking too, in the end when she’s standing in the resident lounge, eyeing all of her friends, wondering whose evening to ruin. And she decides on Cristina. Because at the end of the day, even though they’ve never gotten along that well, Izzie knows Cristina’s strong enough to take news like that. She’s not gonna crumple, she’s gonna take the news like a hard, cold scientist and that’s what Izzie wants right now. It’s what she needs. ‘Cause she’s got a hell of a fight on her hands and the odds are stacked.  I’d want Cristina Yang on my case too.

 
So my Mom – she really loves Grey’s Anatomy. In fact, she calls me after every episode, thrilled and excited to tell me what scenes she loved, what lines made her laugh, whose performance made her cry…Tonight I asked her what she thought and there was a long silence. And then: HE HIT THE RING WITH THE BAT!? I know many of you are equally as shocked, maybe a little horrified, and I’m with you. It was brutal to watch. But here’s what I really want you to take from it – Meredith’s reaction to it all was infused with a maturity and strength that was five seasons in the making. She didn’t crumple to the ground sobbing, she told him to do his worst, because she’s not going anywhere. She knows he’s drunk and angry, she knows he’s lashing out at her because that’s what you do when you’re drunk and angry and filled with self-loathing, you lash out at the last people in the world you should be lashing out at, the people you love and most importantly, she knows Derek doesn’t mean it. She knows he’s at his lowest, professionally, personally…so she’s not gonna bail on him. She’s gonna let him have his little “the world is a better place without me operating in it” tantrum and when the dust settles, Mer’s still gonna be standing there, supporting him.  Because that’s what you do in a relationship. That’s what you do in a marriage. For better or for worse, right? So you can choose to see the end of this episode as a MerDer nuclear holocaust, but I really hope you don’t. I hope you can see it as I do – as progress. Twisted progress, yes, but hopeful all the same. For better or for worse, people.

 
And with that…let the discussion begin! 

Comments

[Suisan]

My God, Grey's got a transfusion tonight! Just as I pronounced it dead last week at 10 PM, Grey's got up and got its groove on! As all really good episodes do, this one shot by in minutes. Will Derek come out of his funk long enough to operate on Izzie... And George. I didn't realize how much I've missed him, and he was there tonight in the way he does so well. I was pleasantly surprised. Looking forward to next week. Thanks for giving the series "the paddles." (Clear!)

[Maadussa]

Hi, thanks a lot for such a nice epi...It was awesome, Ders reaction was normal under the circumbstances....poor him n poor Izzie.......n Now poor Mer and poor Christina.......ok next week plz show der talking to mer....plzzz....n make their relation more strong plz.....loved Alex...hes getting cool....Dont know how he will react when he finds out about izzie.....they all will have to unite n be strong for izzie........love u all ...... :))))

[TKL]

Jenna,
From my view point, Izzie's not the only one with a fight on her hands. Every single one of those characters has his/her own weaknesses that have the potential to make them "healthy and whole" or ruin them completely. I feel like I'm watching all of them putting their fight on this season, and it's an inspiring thing to watch. Fear can be just as cancerous as a tangible disease itself. Thank you to all you writers for giving us more than storylines to follow but also characters to grow with. You're not just making a TV show. You're making a difference.
- TKL

[Anne]

Jenna I appreciate your comments and I get the reasoning behind the plot lines. Very well explained thanks.

But this was just a brutal show to watch there was so much bad stuff happening in the show - arguing, fighting, cancer... It was hard to watch.

The cast did a great job in the episode but I have to say I had hoped I'd like this ep better than the last new one - but I didn't. Not to say it wasn't a really good dramatic episode it just isn't one I liked at all. I think Alex had the best day of all of them.

I thought Patrick did a great job in his scenes he is an incredible actor and you gave him some good lines for his character. Doesn't mean I like it or status quo of the Mer/Der relationship. Some things didn't ring true to me. I can see him getting drunk and going to the trailer to lick his wounds and possibly picking a big fight with Meredith. But I really don't think the character would be that vicious in attacking meredith in his rant. Nor can I believe he would be so ready to lose the heirloom ring his dead father gave his mother and he was so anxious to give Meredith. I did admire Merediths strength in this episode by not backing down and standing by him in his down time. Progress maybe in this relationship but twisted progress indeed.Sigh...

Seriously though I'm depressed after watching this . Goodnight

[wooster182]

This was a great episode. I loved it from beginning to end.

But I'll honestly say it pissed me off too, which usually means it was a damn good episode.

First off, if Derek is the Chief's one and only answer to his ER, the hospital's got serious problems. What did he do before Derek got there? The man seriously has to learn how to build up his other doctors (like Mark and Jim) instead of relying on one superstar.

Secondly, didn't Derek ditch Meredith when she tried to drown herself? He ran when Addison left. He left Mer when she was depressed and gave up. Now he's running from the hospital. But Meredith takes what he dishes out. Yes, I was proud of her for her strength. Yes, she has grown up a lot. But when the hell is she going to get a little bit of that loyalty from him?

Despite what it may sound like, I really did love this episode. Alex and Cristina are amazing. And they impressed me even more tonight.

[molly is fast]

loved the episode.
great great GREAT!
and for some reason, the thing that's nagging at me the most? that the chief told meredith.
i get it why, in the big picture and all, but...he told her!

[Amanda]

OMG!!!! I was like a proud mama watching Mer stand there and take that from Derek. She has grown so so much. You could tell by the look on her face that the ring might freak her out a little bit but she stood her ground and didn't run away. Now, me on the other hand I wanted to cry when Derek hit the ring with the baseball bat. He needs to get better, and he needs to get better NOW!!! On another note, I wasn't to thrilled with the Mark/Lexie relationship, but the more I see them together the more I'm loving it. It was nice to see George more than once tonight also!!

[Sapient]

I loved it.
no discussion... just loved it... all of it. Thank you

[Erika]

You guys have done amazing with this show. I look forward to it every thursday! I totalyl saw Mer's reaction and was like "Heck yes!" She has grown so much and it's about time! I'm stoked! Keep it up guys!

[Cindy]

You have GOT to save Izzie! I really love her. Don't let her die!

Ok, thank you for talking me down about Mer/Der, lol. I was really upset there at the end. But, you are right. This is what a real relationship is and they will get through it.

Save Izzie!!!!!!

[Karen]

While it hurt to watch the end of the episode, I was really happy to see Meredith's progress- it gave me hope that she really has changed, that she isn't going to go home and slash her wrists in the bathtub- because let's face it, for the dark and twisty Meredith we've known for the past few years it wouldn't be a huge stretch.
Overall, good episode- not a happy episode, but good to watch anyways.
Looking forward to what's to come in the weeks ahead.

[deb]

I thought Mer's reaction to the bat/ring thing was the best....thing...ever. Even better than the house of candles.

I got it.
Totally.

And loved it.

Hate seeing Shepherd fall apart but it had to come.

And LOVED Mark telling 'little Grey' that she was the one who fixed him and made him all whole

And yeah.
If I was going to someone with that kind of news? I'd pick Christina too. Cuz she really does care underneath it all. But she'd be the most awesome person to tell first....ever.....

[MerDerFan77]

Jenna you are the only writer I am trusting to write for MerDer right now! Keep up the good work!

[Mare]

Loved Meredith and Derek. Love them.

Thanks for writing them moving forward.

Love strong Mer.

Love drunken loathing Der.

Love them.

Have been waiting for them for 5 seasons? You bet your ass.

Please keep them coming. They light up the screen even when they are at their lowest points. They are gold together, still.

No one else could have made all this work like they do.

Hate Mark and Lexie with the bright intensity of a white hot sun. I am hoping that Mark and Lexie are a learning experience for both of them as Mark gets taken down a notch and Lexie gets hit by a bus.

As great as MerDer are, Molesexie are not. Sorry.

[B]

Terrific episode. No mention of the Chief and Bailey in your blog, but I'm glad they came to a better understanding and both apologized. I'd have loved to see some sort of confession from the Chief about why he freaks out so much when Bailey doesn't match his image of her. I'm afraid I didn't quite get Bailey's interpretation, and I felt like the actual reason should have come from him.

I kind of love how both Cristina and Meredith are standing by these troubled men. Neither of them has been the most open or easy to deal with in the past relationship-wise, and I love that they are now the strong ones. I love that growth.

I'm glad we finally have Izzie's diagnosis. Terrific job by Katherine Heigl tonight. Oh, poor Alex! I love Alex, and I hate that he's going to possibly lose someone else, especially Izzie, whom he has loved since forever. She also needs to tell George very soon what's going on.

And while Izzie's story is big and a sick resident seems like it should get the most attention, please, please don't shortchange Mer/Der. This is a big story too, and it feels like they have been on the sidelines for quite a while. I miss them! Derek losing confidence is big, and he shouldn't get it back again without clear effort on his part, and loving care from Mer. Please don't shortchange them.

Thanks for slowing down the relationship with Callie and Arizona. Please take your time with it. People could care about them, if it's developed right. I think the situation with Hahn was thrown at the audience way too fast; one minute Callie is sleeping with Mark and the next she and Hahn are a couple. It felt like it was only done for the sake of doing it, and it was too jarring. If time is taken with Callie and Arizona, I could definitely root for them.

I guess what I'm hoping for is balance. It feels like things have been unbalanced for a while now, with too much focus one place or another and other characters getting pushed aside. It's an ensemble and they all need attention. No ensemble works when some characters are more or less ignored.

[sassybrat902]

Ok well, Can i just say OMG!!! It was so good!! I loved the hole drunk Mcdreamy!!! I love little grey how funny is that! I am happy mer is all strong and stuff!! The hole show was just good!!! I DONT WANT IZZY TO DIE!! And by the way why did they not know that izzy had cancer when she gave bone marrow to her kid??? Cant wait unitl next week!!!

[Carlie]

The Derek thing... well I've never really liked him very much anyway... so this episode kind of solidified my theory in the making.
Derek is going to die alone. (Or should die alone).
Throughout 5 seasons, all that's been seen from Derek, is mistake after mistake after mistake. He's an adult. And I know everyone makes mistakes, but he was in a relationship or 11 or so years. He should know how to have one. And every woman he has been with all end up with Derek issues.
He hurts them, and I can't help but think of that Britany Spears, Womanizer song everytime I hear the names Derek and Shepherd together.
If any man treated me like Derek treats his women (Think Addison, Rose, and Meredith. I think he's the one with commitment issues here. He wants them too fast, too quick, and it all blows up in his face. He is treated like the Man-God he looks like, and not the lowly emotionally unstable man who makes mistakes. McDreamy is not a fitting term for him. It should be McDestroysAllMyRelationships)

Drunk or not, I wouldn't take that.
If anything, it makes me a stronger woman, not immature or flightly.
No self respecting woman should go crawling back to a man after a scene like that.

If Meredith should ever run again in her life, now is the time to do it.

Derek Shepherd sickens me.

Patrick Dempsey on the other hand... well he's the real McDreamy here.
And props to him for playing such a hideous (on the inside) character.

[Venus]

Would it have killed you to make a two-sentence comment on the Cristina/Owen storyline?

[MindyM]

Jenna,

I wasn't going to scream and rant at you. I just needed to hear you out. Yes, I was shocked to see Der hit the ring with the bat! It was awful! It was destructive. It was hurtful. But I did see Mer and her strength. I did get that. I know how far she has come, because I have walked every single step of her journey from day one of this show. It took great strength and will and courage to stand there after he smashed her ring with the bat and still tell him that she wasn't going anywhere. But now I am wondering just how long it will take to sort out this little detour. I mean, the Mer and Der road to happiness detour. The one that has been filled with potholes and gullies and crevices. I get where Der is right now. It's his turn to be in a dark and twisty place, to be facing his own demons. I like the idea that Mer has to be the strong one and save him, the way he literally saved her when he jumped in the river and pulled her out. I am long past ranting and raving at you writers over Mer and Der. I will leave that to others. But I do wish these two could get into a place where they could finally have the wedding, at long last! It is so overdue for them, really.

I think this was one of your more fully realized episodes. Everything was working on all cylinders and that hasn't happened consistently all season. I love how Cristina will not be pushed away by Owen knocking her into some shelves as she tried to wake him up from a nap. Actually, my ex-husband was like that. It came from his days in the marines. He didn't see war action like Owen, but something about being in the service made him hard to wake up without punching someone out. I certainly hope that Owen does not turn out to be anything like my ex-husband. He had big issues. At least Owen knows that he has problems. That's a start. He said as much when he told Cristina it's more than a dream. But she's sticking with him and it's so great.

I loved how Izzie managed to teach the interns by using herself as the mysterious patient X. That was brilliant, just brilliant. I think this was Izzie's finest hour. I am still not letting you guys off the hook for that horrific dead Denny stuff. Nope, not letting that one go. But at least it's over and we have something real that somehow explains at least part of it. The look in her eyes when the interns solved the medical riddle and told her exactly what she faced, was quite something to see. It takes a certain kind of fortitude and selflessness to do what Izzie did for her interns. I didn't know if she could hold it together when Lexie came to thank her. But the scene that almost broke my heart was when Alex ran over to her to tell her about his triumph. He couldn't wait to share it with her. The poor guy doesn't know what is about to hit him, but he wanted to share his moment with the one person he cares for most. He didn't know how important it was for Izzie to teach those interns. That was more important than any great surgery. She somehow managed to put on a brave face and shared the moment with him. To see Alex realize that he saved that girl's life, was a special moment for me. Alex, who always felt like such a loser and so inadequate in all areas of his life, now has achieved something monumental. He had an idea and it turned out to be right and saved his patient and changed her whole life. How often does that happen to a surgeon? I loved how he told off those two stupid kids from her school. He really does have a heart of gold, only now we actually get to see it front and center.

I LOVE that Izzie told Cristina. Of course, she was the right person. Thank God for Cristina and that tough exterior. Sometimes that's exactly what is needed. That scene between them was magnificently done - no dialogue heard, just the expressions on their faces. Yes, that was the way to do it.

I am still not buying Mark and Lexie. You writers are doing your very best with them, but I will never completely and totally buy them together. But that is a minor issue in what was an extremely satisfying episode. This is what I have been waiting for this season. I want the quality, the real character development, intelligent story lines, laying the foundation and groundwork for what is to come. Good work, indeed!

[PamelaJaye]

I'll read in the morning. I just got finished with the second viewing (had to spend a little time in another Seattle Hospital with some old friends, in between)

I just wanted to say - Didn't Shonda tell us it was not a brain tumor?
If "mets to the brain" don't count, then Shonda can run for office cause she's learned to talk out of both sides of her mouth.
Aside from this, and Cristina not at least acknowledging to Mer that she knows what it's like when you can't get your boyfriend (Burke) "out of the Bell Jar"
it was a good episode and I especially like Lexie with her 100% survival rate for hiccups. That made me cry.
I truly hope that we don't really have to lose George and Izzie. They've grown and now that Denny is gone (finally) and Izzie's not a joke, I would miss them.

[Ashley]

Whoa this was hard to watch. I really don't know how much Broken Derek I can handle. It was one thing when Burke had the tremor and Cristina helped him. Seeing Derek give up is just so much worse. And I can't believe there are only 2 episodes left. AHHHH!!!!!!!

[Jessica]

This is exactly what I've been waiting for--for Derek not to be so perfect, for Alex to get some hope for his future, and for Izzie...well, for Izzie to finally get some answers to her experiences, however horrible those answers may be.

And it's beautiful writing, poignant writing, that brings this out. That gives the actors a chance to do something with some serious depth.

I am a huge Hunt/Yang fan, though, and any scenes with either/both of those characters are always ALWAYS my favourite.

[Manny Sheperd]

Okay, something techy just happened...

I just wanted to say this to the MER/DER fans, the ones who cry a huge ol' river upset because the entire 42 minutes of airtime isn't devoted to their relationship, because after all the show is named after her... BOO HOO.

Tonight, I am sure that all of you will be griping because of the ending, but I for one agree that it shows Meredith becoming human and that is PROGRESS.

Also, there are so many interesting characters that it should make you understand character development and that is why we get bits and pieces of every character. That is why not every plot suggestion is equally wrapped up with a bow. For instance, I can't wait to see what the Chief thinks about Ellis's diaries (if he ever does find out).

So, I enjoy Meredith being the bigger person and Sheperd being not so perfect... Why, that is life!

Sorry, I had to rant and rave because I have been reading the comments and I am completely stunned at how many whiners there are out there!

So buck up little campers and relish your 42 minutes of Grey's...

[Amy]

Loved Derrick and Meredith, it is relationship, finally!
I don't know what's going on with TR, but George's airtime is truly getting annoying and wasteful. I love George and really believe he is one character you really screwed up the last couple years, but either get him off completely or give him more story!
Hate Callie and Arizona!!!!!!!
Love that Izzy went to Christina, so appropriate!
Reluctantly hanging with ya... now I'm going to go watch Private Practice!

[Annmarie]

Wow. Heavy, heavy episode. Despite that, I enjoyed it. Glad to see Alex shine, George's quiet persistence and hard-work acknowledged, a new, stronger Meredith (boy, will she need that strength), Cristina's calm. And Izzie. Oh, Izzie. Katherine Heigl was fantastic tonight; in turns funny and heartbreaking. A 5% survival rate, huh? Ouch. Like Izzie, I'm afraid to hope and too afraid not to.