Jenna Bans on "I Will Follow You Into The Dark"...

Original Airdate: 3-12-09

Okay, people…step away from the comment section…step away from the phone (no one at ABC’s gonna answer at this hour anyway, trust me)…and hear a writer out. I know what you’re all thinking – HOW COULD THEY HUMILIATE SHADOW SHEPHERD LIKE THAT!?  Just kidding. We’ll talk Mer/Der and the bat and the ring, we will, but first I would actually like to start with Shadow Shepherd, ‘cause he’s part of the bigger issue here which is…

Derek Shepherd is not in a good place right now. In fact, dude’s pretty much at his worst. Remember when our friendly neighborhood serial killer Eric Stolz told him they had a lot in common? Derek’s started to believe him. What I love about this storyline, besides that it gives the talented Patrick Dempsey a chance to show us just how big his acting range is, is that you’d never think it would happen to Shepherd. Shepherd knows brains like I know…well, nothing. Maybe chocolate. But the point is, he’s not just a star in his field, he runs his field. It’s like the Pope having a crisis of faith.  And everyone’s feeling it – Mark, literally with his maimed hand, Richard, who can’t possibly run his surgical floor without his star neurosurgeon…and sad little Shadow Shepherd, who finally gets his shot to impress his colleagues, and not one of them can even remember his name. (Even writing the script, I couldn’t keep it straight. When Darren, our script coordinator, was clearing the names, he’d call me and be like – so, it’s John, but everyone keeps calling him Jim, right? And I’d be all, yes. Wait, no. Wait, yes.) And it’s not because he’s not a good surgeon, it’s just with Shepherd around, who pays attention to the bald dude in glasses? In the end,  Derek’s legendary status ends up hurting Derek the most. Because when people expect greatness out of you 24/7, it’s damn near impossible to live up to. You’re bound to take a big fall.

Like the interns do, I’d like you to ask yourselves – if you were handed a death sentence today, couple of months to live, what’s the first thing you’d do? Personally, I wouldn’t waste any time. I’d immediately re-introduce trans fats into my diet and then hop a plane to one of those huts over the ocean in Bali where the floor is glass so you can experience all the marine life without actually having to get wet. But that’s me. Izzie’s clearly a better person. Just when she’s found her niche at SGH, teaching the interns, she gets slapped with cancer. Wear sunscreen. But instead of hightailing it to a Balinese paradise (seriously, those huts look COOL) she takes her devastating diagnosis and channels it into an educational - albeit macabre - game for her interns, who are sorely in need of some attention. Shonda’s had this Patient X thing in her head for a long, long time – and when she first pitched it out, I immediately loved it. And hated it. I still love and hate it. Because it’s so totally messed up and unfair. What Izzie’s doing, teaching the interns, is a selfless, meaningful endeavor that no one else, even Alex, will ever give her credit for. Everyone’s been busy clamoring for surgeries while Izzie’s quietly achieved the impossible – she’s turned the gaggle of morons we met in season 4 into doctors. And now she’s DYING. And no one gets her, and no one knows it, and it’s seriously UNFAIR. Wear sunscreen.

Except Cristina.  Now A LOT of thought and discussion went into the decision that the person Izzie goes to first should be Cristina. And some of you were probably thinking, why not Alex? Why not George? Hell, why not Mer? And that’s what Izzie was thinking too, in the end when she’s standing in the resident lounge, eyeing all of her friends, wondering whose evening to ruin. And she decides on Cristina. Because at the end of the day, even though they’ve never gotten along that well, Izzie knows Cristina’s strong enough to take news like that. She’s not gonna crumple, she’s gonna take the news like a hard, cold scientist and that’s what Izzie wants right now. It’s what she needs. ‘Cause she’s got a hell of a fight on her hands and the odds are stacked.  I’d want Cristina Yang on my case too.

 
So my Mom – she really loves Grey’s Anatomy. In fact, she calls me after every episode, thrilled and excited to tell me what scenes she loved, what lines made her laugh, whose performance made her cry…Tonight I asked her what she thought and there was a long silence. And then: HE HIT THE RING WITH THE BAT!? I know many of you are equally as shocked, maybe a little horrified, and I’m with you. It was brutal to watch. But here’s what I really want you to take from it – Meredith’s reaction to it all was infused with a maturity and strength that was five seasons in the making. She didn’t crumple to the ground sobbing, she told him to do his worst, because she’s not going anywhere. She knows he’s drunk and angry, she knows he’s lashing out at her because that’s what you do when you’re drunk and angry and filled with self-loathing, you lash out at the last people in the world you should be lashing out at, the people you love and most importantly, she knows Derek doesn’t mean it. She knows he’s at his lowest, professionally, personally…so she’s not gonna bail on him. She’s gonna let him have his little “the world is a better place without me operating in it” tantrum and when the dust settles, Mer’s still gonna be standing there, supporting him.  Because that’s what you do in a relationship. That’s what you do in a marriage. For better or for worse, right? So you can choose to see the end of this episode as a MerDer nuclear holocaust, but I really hope you don’t. I hope you can see it as I do – as progress. Twisted progress, yes, but hopeful all the same. For better or for worse, people.

 
And with that…let the discussion begin! 

Comments

[Felicia]

I have been very critical of Grey's this season, but this...this was everything I've been hoping for. The MerDer of it all was horrifying and glorious. Dempsey and Pompeo - perfection. The baseball bat? Hot. Thank you for writing such a wonderfully entertaining piece.

[Cathy]

THANK YOU JENNA for one of the best written episodes since Season Two! I stopped watching regularly after season four, and to be honest this episode may have gotten me back! Everyone was HUMAN, maybe not humane, but human. Now, if you could just end the joke that is Mark/Lexie the show would be perfect! Just kidding, but keeping their screentime to under a minute is helpful ;)

[K]

Loved it! By far the best episode of this season. Thank you for finally giving Patrick Dempsey, Justin Chambers and Katherine Heigl some good material. Everyone was wonderful but the 3 of them were just fantastic.

Can't wait for next week and its been ages since I said that about Grey's.

[Leila]

Alex and Izzie are the best couple on this show. WHY are you killing her off? Also, why hasn't she told Alex that she loves him??

Lexie & Izzie's talk made me cry.

I love the episodes that you write! Keep up the good work.

[S.Cali]

FANTASTIC!

This entire episode was great. I loved Alex's storyline in this episode, and for the first time in a long time I wasn't completely irritated with Izzie. I thought Katherine Heigl was wonderful tonight.

I, personally, loved the final scene with Meredith and Derek. But I also tend to like really sad, heartbreaking scenes. So sad, but we know they'll work it out in the end.

Oh, but could we have more of the Sloane/Callie comedy duo?

[Kristi]

While I suppose it is not a nuclear holocaust, that bat to the ring was like a physical blow to my heart. Ouch!

Wish there was more Derek and Meredith

[haley]

"She knows he’s drunk and angry, she knows he’s lashing out at her because that’s what you do when you’re drunk and angry and filled with self-loathing, you lash out at the last people in the world you should be lashing out at"

BUT DEREK DOES THIS ALL THE TIME TO HER. Not just when he's drunk.

[Jenna]

You made me care about Izzie for the first time in a really long time and that's saying something. I feel her. I get her pain and her struggle with how to approach her illness. I understand why she isn't telling Alex. (My heart breaks for him. Justin Chambers has done great work this season and I'm sure that will continue.) I'm excited to see where this is going for both her and her friends. I think it could be done really, really well or really, really sloppily. I'm hoping for well.

I, for one, don't see this as the end for MerDer. I was so proud of Mer at the end of this episode. Look at all the growth she's achieved! I truly believe that she won't abandon Derek. She'll be there with him through this terrible, dark ride that he's taking. Great performances from Patrick Dempsey tonight.

Owen and Cristina...I love them...LOVE them. I'm afraid they might wind up on the back-burner with everything else happening now, but I'll be fine with that as long as we get more of them later. I so hope that Kevin McKidd is here to stay. His chemistry with Sandra Oh is fantastic and I really enjoy what his character brings to the show.

Ok...the negative...the Chief used to be in my top 3 characters, but not anymore. I know that all the characters must grow and change, but I feel he's falling backwards. I get that his professional world is, to him, crumbling, but to me he's being so selfish and that's just so out of character. Please bring back more of the old Chief. I just don't believe the one we're seeing now.

Oh, and I miss George SO much, so so much. He is my #2 (Cristina is my #1 if you're wondering). If anyone knows Izzie, it's George. She needs her friend, even if she doesn't fully realize it or want it.

That's all I have to say. Bravo...you made me cry tonight and you haven't done that since last season. I hope to use a lot more Kleenex on Thursday nights in the new future.

Thanks.

[Angela]

First of all, I thought the show tonight was FABULOUS! Thank you to all of you because it all came together beautifully. It's great to see how Meredith has grown and is going to show Derek how she really is whole and healed by remaining by her side.

I think that the interaction between Owen and Cristina was just as powerful. Cristina may be small in stature, but she's going to let him know that she's in it for the long haul. Very touching!

Callie and Arizona! Fabulous! Enough said on that!

It was also great to see Karev really become his own man tonight.

Once again, thanks for a great episode...I probably said what you all already know, but you all do a fabulous job! Keep up the good work!

[Holly]

Can't say I have a single complaint about this episode...wonderful acting all around. I hate that we're going to lose Izzie, particularly since Katherine H. is such a good actress.

Meredith's growth was apparent; she's not going to walk out on
Derek--no matter how low he sinks, she'll be there for him.

Good writing. Thanks

[jessicafreels]

Okay...I get where you were going....But Im tired of them struggling.

I liked Mark and Little Grey and I loved the Chief and Miranda. But Alex made the show for me.

But the Mer Der stuff? Im sorry but I have had enough of them ALMOST making it. Your a good writer...Im just frustrated by the lack of movement.

[Melissa]

Thank you! MerDer really had me nervous tonight, and I feel so much better about them now. Strong Meredith is so nice to see, and I'm so glad that you guys are doing that. Even though I'm still a little leary of dark Derek, I trust you. Great episode! Can't wait until next week!

[Liz]

"She knows he doesn't mean it."

Actually, going by the verbally abusive tirades Derek delivers to and about Meredith every few months, my first guess is that he thinks those nasty thoughts about her at least twice a week. I fail to see how Meredith coninuing to put up with them is progress.

[michelle]

I understand that this last scene about all relationship growning or whatever, okay, but why just 3-4 minutes for merder, AGAIN?? and could you at least going to give us something good at just ONE episode? maybe just 5 minutes, for change, huh?

[Jessica]

Thank you for stopping the Lexie speech to Mark that almost matched the earlier scene she had with Izzie. You almost ruined what was one of the most heart felt moments on the show with another cringe worthy and unexplained Mark/Lexie moment. The rest of the show was beautiful. Thank you so much.

[dlferriola]

Thank you for a tear filled hour of drama at its best. That is exactly what I did especially where Izzy was concerned. Her scenes were heart wrenching and sad. Der at his darkest was amazing as was Mer as she stood by her man. I agree with you she has changed and is going to be strong and bring Der back to his life with her and surgery.Alex, Cris and Owen are all standing by their loved ones even though unknown challenges are ahead for them. It was an excellent episode so thank you again for the tears.

[Lisa]

While I'm very glad Meredith is sticking by his side. I expect an apology from Derek. Even if she knows he doesn't mean it. A lemon? Seriously? Doesn't he know where she's coming from?

I fully believe they are the love of each other lives, but that rant was very low. Hope he doesn't just put up the McDreamy look and lean and Mer will cave. They need to do some serious talking here.

[mommyof4]

i loved it! But still...need more GEORGE!!

[GG]

why is derek always cruel to Meredith.I hate seeing it and she does not deserve it. The is NO for better or for worse in abuse just worse.

[Alex]

I'm excited to see the growth in every character. From season one, each one of them have completely changed. I just hope that Izzie doesn't die since it's starting to sound likely. Her acting and abiltiy to pull these scenes off were well done!

I also missed George's presence in the past few shows. I was glad to see him get a bit more screen time.

MerDer, I'm not even going to get into that. It was very well played though. Getting to see a new dynamic between them and the cast. Loving it.

Richard and Bailey, oh how I love their chemistry. Especially with Adele thrown in the mix. They work so well together on screen and I love their scenes together.

Alex. By far is my favorite character. He's probably the one who changed the most of all. I loved him since day one when he was being an jerk and now is turning into this person who is finally for once willing to man up.

Yang always remains the most driven person and I love how sensitve she can become without looking soft. Brilliant. I also still love Hunt and her together. Can't wait to see more between them.

Still not warming up so much to the Lexie and Mark story yet. I'm not against the idea but I haven't seen something that makes me want them to drive harder and root for them. I'm hoping to be convinced.

Callie... nothing needed to be said. Always love her scenes. She's beautiful and smart. Sometimes I wish she was a bigger character in this show.

How about Jim er... John? I felt bad for him throughout the whole show. I wish I saw him get a chance to do something so I don't feel as bad for wanting Derek back. Oh well...

Great show!! Can't wait for the next few shows where I know much more will be happening.

[Jenna]

Superb Meredith and Derek scenes tonight. Too little of them as always, but how amazing was their final scene. Simply loved Alex. He was amazing. Love strong Meredith, but not sure I'm liking drunk Derek. Found him more funny than sympathetic and I'm not sure that was the reaction I was suppose to have.

[kris]

Dark and twisty, scary and damaged, broken progress. I loved it...brutal as it was.

Izzie telling Cristina was pitch-perfect.

[Alice]

LOVED THE MEREDITH AND DEREK SCENE!! Strong Mer rocks! Good thing Derek is bad with a bat or he might have knocked that ring of the property.

[Cassandra]

Good job Jenna! This was a great episode. Best thing about it was Alex. Loved his interaction with his patient and him stickin gup for her with her bandmates. Loved that Alex correctly diagnosed the patient and stood by his convictions even when Arizona thought he was wrong. Loved the moment in the OR where he was freaking out. Loved how happy and proud he was that Owen and Arizona told him he did an great job and that's he the future of SGH. Loved his moments with Izzie especially when he went up to her all excited to tell her what Arizona and Owen had said and that he thinks Izzie is a great surgeon and wants them to be the future of SGH together. Aww! Justin Chambers is a phenomenal actor and I really hope he gets some great material and more focus from now on. I'm really looking forward to seeing Alex being there for Izzie during her illness. I'm sure he's going to make me bawl a lot but the next few episodes but hopefully it all turns out well. *wink*