Tony Phelan and Joan Rater on "Before and After"...

Originally aired: 2-12-09

Hi there Blog readers.  This is Joan and I hope you liked tonight’s episode.  Tony and I really liked writing this one – we loved the scary worms in the brain surgery that our amazing medical researchers Moira and Elizabeth came up with; we liked the idea of Owen’s ex-fiance showing up, imagining who she was, picturing the moment she first saw him again.  And we always like singing, cause we’re really big musical theatre nerds so the idea of Derek writing a song for Addison way back when cracked us up and then the fact that Taye Diggs and Audra McDonald, both Broadway singers, would actually perform said song … well … come on!!  But I’m rambling, which I do when I’m excited and I have a lot to say, so let me calm down and try to be organized here.  Actually, screw it, I’m just going to ramble because it’s late where I am (11:07 – I just watched American Idol and think it’s gonna be a great season although I DO NOT understand how they cut Danny’s friend Jamal, but, oh now I’m rambling and it isn’t even on topic … )

Here’s how the episode came to be.  Life was simple.  Tony and I were scheduled to write it.  We were excited.  We had some ideas.  Some fine ideas.  Like I said, life was simple.  And then Shonda came in the writers’ room one day all excited and talking a mile a minute about an awesome idea she just had.  And when Shonda is all excited with ideas pouring out of her it’s infectious and you find yourself getting all excited and agreeing with her that yes, it would be really cool to have Addison’s brother, Archer get some really bad brain condition that Derek has to fix so he has to come to Seattle Grace. And of course Addison would come and her friend Naomi would have to come and then Sam, Naomi’s ex-husband and one of Derek’s old friends would show up and be like, “I don’t know why I’m here, but I’m here” and how cool would it be to have Derek’s whole past come into the hospital right at the point where he’s ready to move into the future with Meredith and oh, how about a scene where they meet Meredith and it’s all awkward and it’s gonna be awesome and before you know it Shonda has left the room to tell casting and production about the super cool cross over episode we’re doing with Private Practice and we were left in the writer’s room going, WAIT, we’re writing a cross over episode???

I’ll admit, I panicked a little.  Because we had this cool opportunity that you don’t get too often for two shows to kind of meet, and have an impact on one another and I wanted to do it justice.  And I thought that the thing we really can do with this cross over is show another side of Derek, I just wasn’t sure what that side was.  So we started to talk about it.  We always imagined that Derek and Addison met in med school in gross anatomy class and basically fell in love over a cadaver.  I know, romantic, right?  But for them I’m sure it was.  And we decided that Derek and Addison were probably the first of any of their friends to get married and it was probably an amazing wedding and then someone in the room told a story about this wedding they went to once where the guy sang a song he had written for his wife about how they met and fell in love.  Now, ten years later, whenever anyone who was at that wedding sees this couple, they demand that the song be sung.  Hearing this story I suddenly knew that Derek had to be that guy.  Because I love that guy.  And because it tells you so much about this group of friends, who all remember the song.  They all thought Derek and Addison would be together forever and now here they are, ten years later, divorced.  And Naomi is divorced.  And Archer is maybe going to die.  And so they need the song, they want the song, they want to go back ten years, when it was all so hopeful and happy and no one was dying. 

Now here’s the thing – they don’t really want to go back.  Derek and Addison don’t want to go back to being together, that’s not the point.  The point is …. It’s like when you look at a picture of yourself from ten years ago and you can’t believe how much you’ve changed.   And you don’t really want to go back there, because you like your life and everything and you certainly don’t want the bad haircut back or the ugly bridesmaid’s dress, but you look at yourself and your old friends in the picture and you realize you haven’t spoken to that friend in years, that person you used to speak to every day, EVERY DAY, and you suddenly, desperately miss that person and have no idea how you got to the point where you don’t even know where they live.  THAT is the feeling we wanted this episode to have.  So we needed a song that would help give us that feeling. 

A word about the song – Krista Vernoff wrote it.  In like 20 minutes.  I had written a bunch of lyrics about Derek and Addison meeting over the cadaver but it didn’t have music and it didn’t evoke that FEELING of bittersweet nostalgia that I knew it should, so I called Krista and asked her to give it a try because she’s actually a songwriter and she called about 20 minutes later and sang me the song over the phone and I cried. And then the day we shot the scene I cried watching it because the actors were so great and it had been such an amazing week, having Kate Walsh back.   And while at first it was weird seeing Addison with Naomi and Sam because it was like, Wait a minute here. You’ve moved on and made new friends? What about us?  What about the fun we used to have?  But then when I saw the chemistry that the Private Practice people have together I was able to get over myself a little and be like, okay, fine, you can have your new big hit show and your new fabulous friends, I’ll be happy for you, I guess. 

Anyway, we don’t often talk about how we come up with the stuff for our episodes … so here’s a couple more things.  You know the scene where Addison tells Derek she’s had to make him small and put him in a tiny box just to get through the day?  The idea for that scene came from Shonda and it came before we even knew what the episode was about.  All we knew was that Derek was going to operate on Archer.  We also knew we wanted a moment before Derek went into the OR where he was having a moment of doubt.  So the tiny box scene came out of that discussion. 

What else?  Izzie and the Intern Bowl.  At the beginning of each season we do tons and tons of research.  We research medical stories, but we also spend a lot of time talking to doctors and residents about their training.  How they learn to cut and sew and suture and diagnose and all the other non surgical stuff they have to do. Anyway, in our research we heard about a residency program that had what they called a Surgical Olympics, with events and prizes and we knew it would be a perfect story for us.  And it felt like this was the right place to put it, that it would be Izzie’s idea because she’s been so involved with the interns and she’s at a place where she needs to believe in them.  Because in the last episode she had them run all sorts of tests on her and they came out normal and Izzie really wants to believe she’s fine (even though deep down she knows she’s not, did you see her hands shaking?) so the Intern Bowl is Izzie’s way of proving to herself that the interns don’t suck, that she’s fine, that Denny was wrong.  And instead of proving that, the Intern Bowl showed that Sadie is a fraud.  She cheated and bribed her way through school and basically showed up at Seattle Grace thinking her old friend Meredith would help her get through residency.  But she didn’t take into account the fact that Meredith has changed.  She’s happy and in love and good at being a surgeon.  She’s not the same girl who drank and slept her way through Europe.  It’s a bittersweet moment when Sadie and Meredith stand together at the end, both aware how much they’ve changed.

Which brings me to Owen and Cristina.  Owen clearly has a lot of damage.  He’s seen a lot and been changed by all the trauma he’s lived through.  He is not the same man he was before.  And Beth (his ex fiancée) wants to believe he can be that man.  She wants to believe that if he comes home they can go back to the way they were.  As for Cristina, even though she believes that Owen is dark and damaged, she’s not looking away.  And the fact that she sees him, really sees him, is like a lifeline to him. 

We have spoken to several war veterans about what it’s like to come back. It’s really important to us that we get this right, that we don’t shy away from the difficulty people have who come back from war.  And part of that difficulty is that people who knew them still think of them as the person they were before they left even though fundamentally they may have changed.  And this episode is where Owen’s past comes back to smack him in the face and really make him see how much he’s changed.

Oh, one more thing – Meredith and Derek.  One thing I sort of love about this episode is that although Addison is back in the hospital, Meredith is fine.  She and Derek are solid and it’s not that weird for her to see Addison.  It’s weird for all of Addison’s friends, but I think it shows what a good solid place the Mer/Der relationship is in that she’s not freaking out about Addison, she’s having more of a reaction to seeing Derek with his past.  He had a whole life before her.  I liked exploring the idea that you never really know a person.  On the one hand, that can be scary and make you feel left out, but on the other, it makes life interesting … there’s always more to someone than meets the eye.  And on that note … I think I’ll stop my rambling and go to bed.  After writing this, I’m kind of in the mood to look at old pictures but that usually ends up in me calling old friends.  Old friends who may not appreciate the call because they’re probably sleeping.  On the other hand, they are old friends so they’re more likely to forgive me. 

Comments

[CristinaOwenFan]

Great episode once again!

First things first: I LOVE OWEN and CRISTINA! I love how Cristina is so different around Owen and she didn't freak out about his ex fiancee. She's really growing before our eyes. But Owen really, really needs help and I don't think Cris is enough to do that. He's also asking her to do quite a lot isn't he? And he needs to call his mom stat because that's just not right. She lives 6 miles away and she doesn't know her son is home.

The last scene of Cris and Owen was so powerful that I felt my heart ache when he told her she was the only one who could see him. Kevin McKidd is such a talented actor and Sandra Oh's expression when she looks up at him with tears in her eyes were just so moving that it made me cry. Bravo to both for giving me something to look forward to each week.

I really miss Addison on GA and wish she would come back. Although I felt so bad for Meredith while they were all singing the wedding song in front of her. That was kind of rude.

It looks like Meredith and Cristina may be in the same boat regarding their boys. They don't know them at all. I am so glad that those two are BFFs again. They are so funny together.

How come we didn't see hardly any scenes with Meredith and Derek? Please don't let Mer be hurt. I don't think I can stand it.

Still don't see any chemistry with Mark and Lexie, sorry. Glad Sadie's gone. Izzie was her bubbly self again which I liked. George finally got more screentime but the interns still got too much.

[JB]

If Izzie and Alex don't end up together I WILL NEVER watch this show again. I will be okay with Katherine Heigl, T.R. Knight and Justin Chambers leaving the show IF and ONLY IF Izzie and Alex leave the show together with each other. I will never forgive the writers if they don't end that relationship that way. I've been too invested in their relationship to see it fail. You writers owe that to us viewers.

[Kellie]

Just a few quick comments.

First, Christina and Owen are amazing. I really enjoy this storyline,although Owen needs therapy STAT.

Second, I wish there had been a least one mer/der scene where his old friends could see them together. They were a bit dismissive of Meredith, which I thought was strange after all this time.

Third, I am delighted to be rid of Sadie, but I have to call BS on the idea that Mer would have been best friends with such a loser to begin with.

Fourth, I don't understand all the Addek people out there. I don't doubt that Derek loved Addison at one time, but that ship has sailed, docked and sunk a long time ago. Let the man move on.

Fifth, I personally hated the song. I thought it too forced. I wasn't buying the nostalgia.

Sixth, Owen's ex-fiance = drippy. What happened with casting. I can't believe owen would go for a little Mary sue like her.

Seventh, no more Addison, no more crossovers. I don't care for those PP people. Send them back to LA.

Eight, I love seeing mature, happy Meredith. I am really enjoying her development and relationship with Derek this season. It is one of the highpoints in a very uneven season.

Thanks for listening.

[mamaloa]

I absolutely love the cross over and wish that there will be more Addek scenes. I would love more cross overs. I love the song Derek made for Addie, and I love the chemistry with both the PrP characters and Grey's characters. I would like to see more of that. They all fit in very well and play off each other very well. I will always love Addek. I love the way Addie challenges Derek. I love the hot dog Thanksgiving. That was hysterical. I love the way Derek and Addison rubbed shoulders after he said, now who's the hero. I love the way Derek kept looking up at Addison during Archer's surgery. I love their bickering. I just love them. They are really fun to watch. I WANT MORE ADDEK. I really think Addek make a good team. I also love Owen and Christina. This was the best, and I wasn't going to buy the dvd, but now I change my mind because of this cross over. Good writing. Oh and does there really have to be a proposal and marriage? After this episode, I wonder. I'd think twice about it. These characters tonight play off each other so well, like I've said before. I just hope next week will be good too.

I find completely insulting that Derek and Addison had more screentime together in one episode than merder the whole season.

[joy]

I am sure that the MERDER lovers Hate this episode and you made the ADDEK lovers happy for a bit. And being a nonshipper, I actually loved the story. It's always nice to go down the memory lane. And the it was great to see Sam, Naomi, Addison, Derek and Mark all in 1 episode. i can imagine their college days together in NY.

Thanks for a great episode.

[esra]

I hate the crossover!hate! where is merder???? ı don't want to watch addie or pp people! I'm watching Grey's anatomy to watch Grey's anatomy cast and definetly merder!!! where are they??

[Stephanie.]

It was a pretty good episode tonight guys, I have to say. But If I may point out a few things that have been bothering me, Maybe they can be taken into account.

I was slightly dissapointed that we didn't see Arizona at all, but given that this episode was purely based on the relationships between friends and such, I don't see it as a huge deal. The song was well written and played by the writers and actors, I think you hit what you were searching to achieve.

As said previously.. The Unspoken reactions between the whole Mer/Der thing were good, but why didn't they get to speak at all? Even if Derek was with his old friends, they should have gotten a few lines in I think.

I feel horrible for Izzie, I'm glad you ghosted her illness in. It wasn't a huge plot thing, but enough to see things are starting to go wrong and she is starting to notice. I hope Alex steps in and they discover what's happening together, instead of Izzie keeping things bottled. It'll make for a good plot, can't wait.

And Sadie being that stupid was a bit out of character from my point, Remember in one of the last episodes when she pointed out the thing in that kids surgery with Bailey? She isn't an idiot. I don't think it was fair to suddenly write her as one. Not that I'm a fan of hers, I just don't think the writing did her justice.

Glad George got a few lines, he needs a plot already! =]

Again good job on the episode, Grey's will be my favourite show forever and always. =]

[AtelierGal]

I've always enjoyed ALL GA episodes, but this one... I was kinda disappointed.

The whole GA/PP crossover was the main focus but it kinda overshadows other ongoing stories in SGH.

There weren't much interaction between Der & Mer, not counting their time in the OR.

Owen & Yang, need I say more?

And in PP, most of the GA actors were missing. I understand it's PP's time, but if the cast could take up most of the time in GA's slot, why not the same in PP?

The operating scene was cool, though. Seeing parasites in the human brain closeup was mind-blowing.

The story could have been better.

[Kelly]

I like that Grey's Anatomy is addressing Derek's god complex as a doctor. Also tonight's episode also reminded me that Derek is not a great friend either. He laughs off and insults any serious conversation Mark tries to have with him. Usually they can only talk about Derek and now we learn he ditched his friendship with Sam. Not cool. It's interesting to see him deal with his demons.Good for Izzie for finally being a resident interested in teaching the interns. Lexie is one smart cookie and yes she is a Woman, not a girl. I loved the sizzling looks and flirting between Mark and Lexie and how his head followed hers. I liked hearing Mark talk about his relationship and feelings for Lexie. I just wish we could see Lexie and Mark have these conversations with each other. I liked seeing Addison and Alex in scenes again. I miss them. Like Sam and Mark, I am surprised with Bailey's choice. I always thought Alex would be a good OB or peds surgeon, not Bailey. And the episode had too little Grey's, too much PP.

[sandra]

WHERE WAS MEREDITH? Will Izzie's mystery illness ever be revealed? where were the fab five? where were Merder?

[Maja]

Absolutely loved the episode! I adore Addie and it was great seeing her and Derek act like civilized human beings towards each other (most of the time ;)). But it was also great to get a glimpse into Derek's past. Seeing it made me all sentimental because I was a big fan of Addie and Derek together, so it kinda brought that back for me...
I can't really say anything about the rest of the epi because I was way too excited about the crossover. And the promo for next week looks spectacular!!!

[Liz]

Loved the episode. Kate Walsh and Patrick Dempsy have AMAZING chemistry. Their scenes were so brilliantly done. I love how Kate, Patrick, Eric, Taye, Audra, and Grant interacted. The singing at Joe's was bittersweet. Honestly these two episodes just showed why Addison and Derek should actually be together. They challenge each other, believe in each other, and trust in each others ability to do what they do best. They are equals. I think this was one of your best episodes this season. It such an amazing pleasure to have Addison stomping or clicking I should say in the halls of Seattle Grace. Looking forward to next week.

Thank you
Liz
Los Feliz, CA

[Bad event. bad stunt.]

Where are they???
Hellooo the Grey's cast.
Ellen Pompeo and Patrick are amazing together, why don't we get to see that anymore.

We want the Grey of Grey's Anatomy back please.

Addison left for a reason. leave her there with her friends, not at Seattle grace.

[liz]

The song?? It was sooo disrespectful to Meredith to sing that stupid thing IN FRONT OF HER!!

So Derek was always a oh so smooth talker, wasn't he? "In her eyes I saw eternity"??? WTF? That makes the whole "you're the love of my life, I never felt this way before" feels like a bunch of lies or just sweet talk, doesn't it? If he was sooo in love with her, then why the hell did he grow so tired of her that he ignored her for the last YEARS they were married????

And for the "friends" to behave as if Meredith was not even in the room!!! Even MARK! You bet I wanted to vomit.

I felt like Meredith was insignificant in their eyes, even in Derek's eyes.

Veeeerrryyyy disappointed right now. I hope she'll send him to hell with his ring! (well, ok, maybe not... Can you tell that Derek disappointed me again? It feels like it's all he ever does between two mcDreamy smiles).

Stupid crossover. Make Addison stay in LA please!

P.S: You talk a lot about Mer/Der in your post, don't you? The same thing is to show them a lot in the promos when in fact they have like 20 SECONDS together! Hypocrites...

[mims]

I agree with others. The eipsode was great but let's have more Mer/Der and more George. I miss them. And I don't relly like the crossover stuff even though this part has been good. I'll be glad when next week's show is over. Keep all these people separate!

[Mari (from Brazil)]

I liked the crossover. I love Addison. And I think we miss her energy in SGH.
I liked the medical cases. Even the interns’ game. Ok.
Derek’s past, his friends. His life after. Ok.
But, quoting Owen, we’re in before. In before there’s Meredith. It would be just right to show Derek talking to her, telling her about Addison’s brother and everything. This is what couple does. They talk to each other.
I understand write an episode and condense all the plot to be interesting and make sense isn’t easy. But that’s what you do, isn’t it?
So please, think about what one of us would do. A caring son, as Derek, would’ve welcomed his mother with a kiss (Sympathy for the Devil). And a caring boyfriend, soon to be fiancée, would’ve called Meredith and talked to her. Simple like that. We need simple bits of real life, like morning kisses, phone calls, lunch together and regular meetings through the hospital.
This would have been a great episode if wasn’t so distant from the last one. And the connection could have been done simply with Derek calling Meredith and telling he’s going back to the hospital to see Addison’s brother. She knowing about by the Chief was completely unreal in a solid strong couple live.

And I didn’t say anything about Izzie and George before. But George is a great character, the show misses his humanity. And Izzie is still lost, I hope you could make her find her way back cause we miss her joy and optimism.

Still hoping for a “house of candles” “bedroom full of roses” proposal!

Thanks for listen us, the fans!

[Leigh]

How the heck does Callie know Arizona has butterflies on her scrub cap if they have only met that one time in Joe's Bar, when AZ (or Ayzee as I think of her) wasn't wearing a scrub cap?

Good episode. It made me miss having Addison on the show and seeing her interact with everyone. Though it did demonstrate why she has outgrown being a member of an ensemble; she's too big of a character to be relegated to the possee. I sometimes feel like he's a sattelite character so having him be part of a larger group is good. And I loved Addison teasing him about Little Grey, as she would.

I loved having Mark be part of the group and Sam is adorable; I wouldn't mind him coming over to Seattle Grace. Just sayin'. Think of what Miranda Bailey would do with HIM! Ha!

Owen's situation is interesting, how he's forgotten his old life -- his before -- and can only feel free with Christina -- his after. This is a good story to explore and McKidd is doing a fantastic job with it. He's a great addition to the cast.

Speaking of great additions to the cast, I hope you guys give Jessica Capshaw a contract soon; I don't want to ship Callie/AZ if you're just gonna do nothing with them. Besides, Capshaw's doing a very good job and her character is a breath of fresh air amidst all the gloom and doom we so often see with the others.

And where there's doom, there's Izzie. Poor Alex. Poor, poor Alex. I'd want to run, too, because this is just going to wreck him up something fierce and I really, really like Alex (especially in pediatrics).

Okay. Thanks for the episode. Well done (and it can't be easy to write for so many characters).

[Johanna]

Why are you even writing about MerDer in your blog? They didn't speak to each other AT ALL! I'm just so pissed off right now. Even Addison's friends had more to say to each other. END THIS CROSSOVER NOW

[J]

The crossover was awesome. I love Addison.

If Izzie leaves I will stop watching. Hasn't Alex already had enough heartbreak? Not to mention, Katherine Heigl is amazing.

If George leaves I will stop watching.

Shonda, you're an idiot if you think you can run this show without them.

[tvadictmom]

seeing the comments, I'm wondering if I watched the same show. I liked the blog better than the show. Personally, I hated it, and I'm a longtime watcher.I get what you were trying to do, but you could have done it in 2 or 3 scenes. I thought it was a mess. Please don't do a crossover again. I went to bed and woke up this morning thinking, 'That was the stupidest waste of 2 hours I have ever spent!' Sorry, guys!

[Mel]

I'm very annoyed that Archer has a full head of hair after BRAIN surgery. Shouldn't he at least have a bandage or something on his head?

Otherwise it was an OK episode. Not my favorite.

[raprilc]

End Private Practive and bring Kate Walsh back to Grey's. It needs her. Desperately.

[Melissa]

I must say I really do miss Addison walking through the halls of Seattle Grace Hospital. Private Practice isn’t cutting it for me. But Private Practice mixed with Greys…much better. Because I gotta tell ya, lately even Greys is annoying me. The only thing I’m rooting for right now is Christina and Owen. Meredith and Derek are playing the same limbo dance that they always do and its getting old. One week there are improvements, the other week setbacks. I get that that’s how it is in relationships but its just being dragged. Anyway I liked the scenes between Addison and Derek. Its funny to know that Carolyn in fact never liked her enough to give Derek her wedding ring. She must like Mer and that’s great.

I LOVE how Addison called Lexie a preschooler. Because its so true. Why has Lexie Grey all of a sudden “changed” Mark? It makes no sense. I really wish I could see through your eyes because their chemistryless relationship is boring me. Its annoying me more because its so cliché. Mark is falling for Derek’s fiancées little sister. Boring. They look weird together. And don’t get me wrong, I love me some good McSteamy but this storyline is just blah.

Alex. I feel so bad for what lies ahead for Alex once Izzie is gone. Maybe Addison can come back? Heck come back for Mark too! Hehe

Please don’t let the show go downhill. Please don’t get desperate to scramble up storylines.

[Cassie]

Don't care much about those folks from PP. Not enough time on air for the regular Grey's cast anyway. Give me an hour's entertainment with Meredith and Derek, Lexie and Mark, and Owen and Christina and all is right with the world.