Bill Harper On "Beat Your Heart Out"...

Original Airdate: 2-5-09

Hi.  First of all, if Grey’s Anatomy just ended -- stop!  Go back, sit down, and watch Private Practice!  I know, you’re probably doing it anyway, but seriously -- it’s going to get SO GOOD and if you miss tonight’s Private, you’ll feel like you’ve missed out.  GO!  Come back here when it’s over! 

Hi.  So, Valentine’s Day is almost here.  Every year, my wife and I do the same thing -- or a version of the same thing.  She’s not a fan of Valentine’s Day, she doesn’t care for the hype.  “It’s needless pressure, it’s invented by the greeting card companies; a gift or gesture on any random day would be more meaningful...”  So every year we agree not to do anything.  Just ignore it.   Honestly, I love this about her.  My wife is smart and sensible and pragmatic and these are qualities I love and depend on, because I have none of them. And it certainly takes the pressure off.  But I’m just not wired that way.  I can’t not do something.  And it’s often just cheesy flowers or chocolates, sometimes it’s something more elaborate, but I end up doing something.  Even though I promise I won’t.  And this upsets her.  Because she did nothing.  Like we agreed!  And now she’s the one who got something and did nothing, even though nothing was what was the only appropriate thing to do.  In short:  every year for Valentine’s Day, I make my wife feel a little crappy.  Romance!

So I felt especially close to Derek as he spends the day trying to plan the perfect proposal.  (Can we just take a second here to say DEREK’S GOING TO PROPOSE. Who would have thought that a drunken tussle on Ellis’s living room rug would lead to this?  Not Meredith, I bet.)  And while Derek’s twisting himself inside out to keep this surprise for Meredith, trying to find exactly the right way to do it, all of his efforts are actually backfiring, sending the wrong signals and sending her into a panic.   

Romance and Panic Attacks.  As this episode began taking shape in the writer’s room, it became clear that these two main factors that would be at work.  Either people were experiencing one or the other, or one was leading directly to the other.    Romance and Panic Attacks.  Which go together, I thought at the time, like peanut butter and clams. 

Start with Cristina and Owen, who have maybe the most romantic day I’ve ever seen. Shonda was very interested in the hotness of the chasteness between these two. We had lots of discussions of the tortured sensuality of the Victorian Era, where a hand placed next to another’s hand could be so electric, so concentrated, that it was actually better than sex.  To go further, to consummate that kind of compressed excitement, would be to risk losing it. And I loved that in Seattle Grace, where people famously steal into on-call rooms between surgeries, these two were living a bodice-ripping romance novel under everyone’s noses.  Cristina doesn’t even have words for what this is. So they choose to long for each other for a while.  And it’s painful, but in that way that you sort of don’t want it to stop.  It’s clear they’re both loving it.

Meanwhile, Mark and Lexie, at the height of their own romance, start to crumble under all the secrecy.   Poor Lexie’s collapsing under the weight of trying to keep her relationship with Mark from Mer and Der, and then lying to Jen about her husband’s surgery, to keep Jen from going hyper-hypertensive.  She’s killing herself trying to protect everyone.  Even at lunch she almost outs herself as a penis-breaker.  I love Mark and Lexie, I have to say.  I admit, I was not so sure at first about this pair, but I think I had the same misgivings Mark did.  I like most what Lexie is forcing Mark to learn about himself.  And when he finally tries, in Derek and Meredith’s bedroom (he really tries!) to come clean to Derek, it’s not just to clear the air, or apologize or confess as much as to share with his best friend this great thing they’ve both found.   Cause it’s the real thing.   When he can’t -- it’s horrible timing -- his disappointment is so clear.   

And then Callie, who’s looking down the barrel of her failed relationships learns that even when he chooses to be OK by herself, it’s just lonely.   And at the moment she feels it hit rock bottom...  Enter  Arizona “actions-speak-louder-than-words-especially-in-the-ladies-room” Robbins.  I love characters who sneak up on us.  What I think I love most about Arizona is that she is genuinely, positively interested in people, in the most selfless way.  We knew this right away, when she made Alex squirm on the plane a few weeks back, with all the questions about his girlfriend.  So it seems perfectly natural that she would just stop in the loo to cheerlead a colleague.  Then....surprise!  Romance!  And she turns Callie’s whole set of expectations upside down.  Which I’m all for.  I want Callie to be happy.  I can’t wait to see where this goes. 

And amidst all this romance, all these panic attacks:  Jen, whose concern for her husband is actually endangering her and her baby’s lives.   Owen’s past catching up with him, just at the wrong moment.  And Dr. Dixon, who suffers a perfect storm of social anxiety:  too much touching, talking and unexpected information at once, causing her to lose control of herself.  But knowing what she needs to cope.  (The treatment she demands from Bailey and Cristina was inspired by the amazing work of Temple Grandin, whose work with livestock led her to amazing insights on how to ease anxiety in people with Autism and Asperger’s.  If you ever feel like being inspired by astonishing humanity and creativity, just Google her name).    Finally, Izzie, spending all day trying to make sense of Denny’s parting message, and clearly expecting the worst.  Only to be left at the end of the day with a clean bill of health.  And Alex.   

It was Izzie’s sense of dread that made me realize something about Romance and Panic.  They seemed at first like an odd combination, until I realized they are remarkably similar experiences.   They share a lot of the same symptoms: rapid hearbeat, breathlessness, sleeplessness, obsessive thoughts, etc.   But more to the point, I think they have the same root cause:  Expectation.  Romance puts us in a state of anticipation that is as good as (sometimes better than) the actual fulfillment.  Look at Owen and Cristina.  And anxiety, panic -- Dixon’s, Bailey’s, Izzie’s -- comes from anticipating the worst outcome -- one that might not ever even occur.  They’re the same kind of scary.  Sort of like falling:  when we dream we’re falling, we call it a nightmare.   But we also call it “falling” in love.  Because we have absolutely no control over the outcome.   

Happy Valentine’s Day, by the way.

Comments

[Julia]

Mark and Lexie are the new Mer/Der? You're kidding, right?

The only couple I could possibly see as anywhere near comparable to MerDer is Alex and Izzie, and maybe Cristina and Owen, with time.

But Mark and Lexie lack the thing that makes those other couples so great: chemistry. And I think you writers know it, because you're not giving a unique and original storyiine. Rather, they're "love" is a cliche, where Mark will turn into a sappy romantic, not at all like the Mark we know and love. And seriously? They've been sleeping together for less than a month with the show's messed up timeline, and now they're in love? I don't buy it. The writers don't show us their connection, they just have both Mark and Lexie tell other people about it and how great it is so that they don't actually have to come up with things for Mark and Lexie to talk about. And that's really sad. That couple, plus the Denny thing, is dragging down the quality of these episodes.

[afvet]

Ditto that BRAVO to the episode!

I LOVE DENNY! cut the controversial same sex kissing, NOT Denny!

I've had that electric relationship so I know baby....

What I don't know is the piano piece so would you PLEASE tell me (it's not listed in the music) the name and composer? THANKS!! It was PERFECT for the scene, PERFECT!! NOT cheesy!

This season is fantastic so far, keep it up!!

[afvet]

Private Practice is a great show! Amy Brenneman w/Tim Daly now and hopefully Tyne Daly on GA. I was a JUDGING AMY fan!! PP is worth watching people.

[Lynn]

Overall a really good episode. Thank You.

MerDer - they make the show. It has been so much better just recently since you have actually started showing them again. It's amazing how it just brings the spark back to GA. "I want your crappy babies" was hilarious!

Owentina - I like most of it just towards the end it got to be a little OTT but I liked the end.

Mark/Lexie - Not working. No Chemistry and just please stop with them.

Callie/Arizona - blonde of the week? Kiss in the bathroom was too rushed and forced. The scene would have been good except for the kiss. Don't shove them on us like your trying to do with Mexie.

Best Part - MerDer.

Second Best - NO DEAD DENNY!!!!!

[Jackie H]

I must say I have very little to say about tonights episode which has not already been reiterated by previous posts. I LOVED, i mean LOVED tonight's episode. It is pure Grey's Anatomy. My favorite has to be the Owen and Christina moments. I love that you guys chose to use this simple more instrumental/acoustic sound than some vocal piece. it is perfect for them and I think it just fits their relationship; though Owen freaking out at seeing a woman makes me nervous for them... I'm really trying not to repeat all the things that have been said already but I want to thank you guys over at Grey's Anatomy for giving me as a fan such a wonderful show. I really got that old feel of the show that made me fall in love with it. I had been a bit worried with the whole Denny thing (which I didn't like) etc. and just wasn't as in love with the show as I used to be. BUT tonight did it for me, I'm falling in love with this show all over again so thank you =) I can't wait to see what happens next week

[Julie]

I love Meredith. She is still a little dark and twisty, but not too much. I really enjoy how meredith and derek's relationship is unfolding. I love them working together and being together. Absolute highlight of the episode.

Yang and Hunt is interesting. They have great chemistry and I'm in it for the ride. Can't wait to see where you take this.

I wish I could like the Mark/Lexie pairing, but you guys have got to be kidding me about "this being the real thing." Oh please. What I find funny is that you spend a lot of time having Mark and Lexie tell other people how much they like each other, but you don't show them together on screen. Could it be that you writers don't see the chemistry either? I think Mark looks bored. He needs a better storyline. Come on, he's worth it.

Glad Mer/Cris are friends again.

[rain]

As good as the previous seriel killer storyline was, it was nice to get back to a nice, lighthearted episode.
I have to say I disagree with a lot of others when I say that I think Lexie and Mark go well together, and I especially loved that big smile MArk had on his face when he saw Lexie walk through the door of on call room at the end.
Secondly, I really wish that you guys would give George some more airtime..i seriously miss his character!
Thirdly, thought that all the Christina/Owen scenes , music and all, were hilarious.

[mckiddbabe]

Hi, Bill,
Overall a good epi...and I loved most of the scenes and the dialogue between Owen and Cristina, my favorite couple. Can't get enough of them. So thank you for that...But Cristina's lines when she was calming Owen down during his emotional breakdown just didn't work for me...maybe you can try the "less is more approach" next time and let Sandra Oh do what she does best. One more thing...can you tell whoever is doing the music for Cristina and Owen's scenes...no more cheesy piano music, puh-lease!...no more channeling John Tesh...I expect better from your music crew than elevator music.

[Christy]

I wanted to commend you on a great episode. I loved the Crisitina and Owen interactions. They seemed a lot less forced and cheesy than in past weeks. I for one am happy that they aren't standing on anymore vents.

I heart Bailey. I had to say it because I had really forgotten how much Miranda Bailey rocks until this episode. I think she is a peds surgeon through and through.

Also priceless this episode.... Arizona. She is just a chick you would want to be friends with. Her smile is genuine and her emotions are real. I love her friendship with Bailey.

Downers..... Has Callie done something in the past 2 years to earn the unending ire of the writers? I feel like we have now seen this story line 3 times. Callie starts to like a girl. The writers push it on us very quickly. The writers decide the chemistry with said girl doesn't work. The writers insert a new girl. It's getting old and each week you are making me feel like I am test driving a new car.

Mark and Lexie. For the love of all that is holy and for the sake of semi believable television. For heaven's sake end this. I wonder if you all sit around at a table convincing each other this pairing has longevity and spark. Get some new args or new writers cause this isn't working. Do you also have a bridge to sell me?

[Carly]

are you still insisting on the disaster that is Mark & Lexie? seriously? they have no chemistry, make no sense, are not believeble and the so-called-romance is ruining their respective characters. they are the other half of the reason I quit the show after the seventh episode (the first half being Denny the Annoying Apparition) and it seems there is no reason for me to come back. I cant even be talked into it by the Alex & Izzie goodness I keep reading about. and that is saying something since they are basically the sole reason I came back after the madness that was Gizzie.

I really thought Greys got better after the S4 finale. and it did. before it got all so much worse again. I think I will stick with reading the recaps at TwoP. those are entertaining at least.

this show already managed to get me back from exile once. Im still hoping for it doing it again. so far in vane.

[Addie]

Hi omgosh that was the single most amazing episode ever!! SERIOUSLY! i had a tear in y eye when Addie and Archer here taking about the bike thing in PrP. also i lvoet he meredith scene at the end! it was awesome! so totally hinks he's cheating loooove it.
you did a great job! congratulate the actor for me =)

[Amy]

Love Meredith and Derek, but need more of them.

Owen and Cristina, loved them but that was totally cheezy!! But it worked!

Please dont try and sell Mark and Lexi to me, they just DONT WORK! It is jsut disturbing on so many levels!!
And I for one, didnt watch Private Practice, dont feel the need to, so please stop trying to shove that down my thoat too.

[Molly]

I've been waiting for this episode for two weeks as a Cristina/Owen fan and loved EVERY second of it. The "awkward" yet casual encounter in the on-call room. (More shirtless Owen scenes would be fantastic and much appreciated btw).

The stolen glances in the hall as they walk inches apart. I could feel the sparks flying off their bodies!

I absolutely loved the cafeteria scene as Owen and Cristina steal little glimpses of each other before Cristina gives in and goes over to Owen, making sure to toy with her hair and pull it up casually, though it's done for his enjoyment.

And their last scenes were amazing. The hallway "eye sex" abruptly ending with Owen being sent into a full fledged panic attack. That boy took off like he was running in the 100 yard dash. The hugging!! The fact that Cristina dislikes the act of hugging anyone and she chooses to embrace Owen in his time of need spoke so loudly, it practically screamed! And to see Owen loose it too, it was so....raw, a brief glimpse into what is surely only the beginning of a long dark road.

The "cuddling" scene at the end. Cristina looked so comfortable, so at home with Owen sprawled across her chest. I found myself thinking that the scene would have been extremely odd and uncomfortable with Burke and Cristina would not have had the same "glow" on her face.

With that being said, I can't wait for next week. As much as I hope that the ex-fiancee doesn't bring too much drama into the budding romance of Owen/Cristina, I have faith in the talented writers that Owen and Cristina will come through this stronger than ever. I jumped on the Owen/Cristina ship long ago and am in for the ride.

[Ashley]

It's getting better - I liked this episode.

My only complaint is -- WHERE IS GEORGE?!!!! You've introduced all of these new characters, leaving no room for any storylines for George. Totally wrong.

[tets]

I love GA! Never bothered to watch Private Practice.
I hope they show more Merder.

[Amanda]

THANK YOU!!!! SO MUCH!!!! This episode was FANTASTIC! Classic Grey's (which is what I've been waiting for since the end of season three)!
I love the sensuality of Christina and Owen. I love the heavy dose of Mer/Der! I LOVE LOVE LOVE Mark.....watching him trying to find happiness is a beautiful thing. I can't wait to watch his romance with Lexie unfold. I also loved the Cheif's story tonight. It's fabulous how you gave us good screen time for most of our favs. I'm glad the focus seems to be shifting back in that direction.
If I have one complaint about tonight's episode it's simply that there was not enough of George. There hasn't been enough of George all season and as a diehard fan (been watching since the pilot) it's making me a little sad.

So Congrats on the episode and I'm anxiously awaiting next weeks big event. (Can I also just say that Private Practice was a treat to watch tonight as well? Kate walsh was in fabulous form in her storyline with Archer......she bought tears to my eyes)

[Amanda]

I wish you would stop trying to give Callie romance. It's failed twice and I don't think the third time is going to work. Here's the thing about Callie, the show would work just fine without her. Maybe you should focus on giving George more than 2 seconds on the show.

[Maja]

Really liked this week's episode...Owen and Christina, that was probably the most romantic thing ever, especially with the music in the background and all their little non-exchanges. Great!
I also really like Arizona, she seems sweet and honest, and I could actually see her with Callie (as opposed to Erica and Sadie).
And finally, I can't wait for the crossover...I'm so excited to see Addie back in Seattle, even though the circumstances might not be ideal. So...conclusion...lovely epi, bravo!!!

[Ali]

I couldn't stop laughing when Cristina and Owen had their Victorian moments. Finally, you guys are giving us episodes that made us love Grey's in the first place. And I'm so happy that we get more MerDer screen time.. after all, she is the show's central character (it's called Grey's Anatomy for crying out loud). I loved it! The proposal preparation scene was great, but then you had to go ruin it by crossing over to PP... that show is kind of annoying. Regardless, I'm a little mad because I know you guys are going to drag this proposal out for WEEKS, if it ever happens.
But, I am glad we (the fans) are being listened to. No Denny this episode, more MerDer, and just more of what made this show so great in the first place. So, thank you. And please keep doing those hilarious scenes with Cristina and Owen!

[Ali]

Izzie's test results were totally switched. Come on guys... we saw that from a mile away.

[Sam]

Hello from England, brilliant epi for all the reasons mentioned above loved Cris and Hunt this is such a different dynamic to burtktina it's really refreshing to see so much development in Cris. Loved the Mer/Cris scenes I have missed those two, have to say still not really on board with the whole Mark/Lexie thing the age gap creeps me out a little.
Really great epi all round, especially MERDER I just cant get enough of these two, I'm looking forward to Der being all uncertain and turning to Mer just like Cris is doing for Hunt this season seems to be about taking care of each other and I love it.

[DS]

not buying izzie thing either. Liked the fact she was teaching her students but still feel the labs got mixed up
miss George i want to see more then a 2 minute funny line

Like Lexi and Mark that's a lot of secrets to get straight
Think Christine remark to Meredith at the end about him never getting to propose was more then just a comment but a fore shadow of what was to come
Glad to see Dr Baily get a story arch very nice to see

[Cassandra]

Meredith and Derek were wonderful. All that talk about their babies...can't wait for the proposal. I hope you writers don't muck this up again!!!! Also loving Cristina and Owen and am glad that Mer and Cristina are back to normal. Mark and Lexie are fantastic together and totally believable. Great that Izzie's sl didn't dominate this show. It's great to see Mer/Der getting some significant screen time. It is Grey's Anatomy after all.

[Nicole]

Okay, my thoughts are all over the place.. so bare with me.

I liked the theme, I pretty much liked everything about the show.. except for the weird piano music. My husband (who changed poker nights from Thursdays to Wednesdays so he could watch Greys with me) got up and walked away. He actually asked me what the heck was going on and why was this show getting so weird.

Christina and Own are very cute.. but got weird at times. I'm a HUGE fan of Mark & Lexie.. so adorable.

The loves of my life.. Meredith and Derek were so adorable. I love how much Meredith has grown. I hate that she's feeling "panicky" especially to come home and find not only that he's not there but found two lonely rose petals.

I read in a Patrick Dempsey article that he wont propose for awhile and that he becomes "dark" .. not looking foward to this. I dont think Meredith can take it. Ofcourse now maybe she's the one that wont give up on him. Regardless, I love all things Mer/Der. They are my reason for watching.. so keep the cuteness coming and definitely more hot lovin'. There can never be too much of that.

Lastly, please stop trying to shove PP down our throats, I cant stand it.. never have. Frankly, it's the reason that Grey's started to get weird and the ratings started to fall. We all know this is a just a plot to boost it's ratings. Do us a favor and just let it go.

One more thing.. THANK GOD I know that Addison & Derek do not really kiss..or I'd definitely be done. I just really hope that whatever readlly did happen that Meredit didnt walk in on them.

Again, I apologize for being all over the place. I'm deathly ill and full of meds.

That is all. xoxoxox

[Tiffany]

Overall, it was a good episode.

I thought the cheesy music and slo-mo of Cristina and Owen was over the top. But otherwise I liked them in this episode.

I'm a huge Mer/Der fan but I'm actually glad Addison called during the set up of the proposal because what Derek was setting up was not Meredith at all. The Chief and Mark know nothing about her and they are really the last people needing to give out romance advice.

The crappy children comments throughout the episode was great. Especially when Derek reassured Mer at the end that he wanted to have her crappy children. Great stuff.

Glad Denny is gone.

I still don't buy Mark and Lexie. They barely have screen time and they've only been together like 3-4 episodes. I really don't see how they could be in such a great love already. They're kind of boring actually.