Stacy McKee on "Piece of My Heart"...

Original Airdate: 5-1-08

I have a confession to make. About the character of Addison: I love her. Not vagina monologue kind of love – but love none the less.

I love her sense of humor. I love her friendships with Callie and Bailey. I love how she’s always known exactly how to call Derek out on exactly whatever it is he needs to be called out on. I love how good she is at her job. I love that she’s basically Sloan’s McDreamy – even if his feelings aren’t reciprocated. I love that she loves potato chips. I love that she walks the hospital halls in heels that any normal woman would twist her ankle in… I love Addison. And I love that this was her episode to come back to Seattle for a visit.

The nice thing about bringing Addison back right now is that – she’s been gone a while. She hasn’t been privy to most of the Seattle Grace shenanigans since her departure. So she’s uniquely qualified to walk back through the doors at SGH and call things like she sees them. She can react the way we’re all secretly reacting to Derek Christopher Shepherd pining away for someone OTHER than Meredith Grey. She can notice just how much her good friend Callie seems to jive with newbie Erica Hahn… and Addison can get Bailey to admit (the way Bailey would NEVER admit to someone she saw and  worked with everyday) that she is really struggling right now, just to keep it together.

Addison is a perfect sounding board because a lot of our characters don’t have sounding boards of their own right now. Addison is a safe confidant. She can take in everyone’s uncertainty, their panic, their pain… and take it right back to LA with her when she leaves. No one needs to worry about their friends and colleagues at SGH seeing the cracks in their armor. Which is good. Because right now – there are a lot of cracks.

For instance, Izzie.  She’s floundering right now. She’s all on her own and trying to figure things out for herself – but “on her own” is not exactly a comfortable place for Izzie to be… She doesn’t have the same kind of connection with George that she used to have; he’s got Lexie now, and all of his other intern friends. Izzie’s not at the top of her game professionally – she’s not finding her medical stride like Meredith or Cristina. Izzie’s doing the opposite; she’s hiding out in the clinic where even there her patients are requesting different doctors. Then there’s Ava/Rebecca/Jane Doe. Izzie learns Rebecca isn’t actually pregnant, but what can she do with that information? As George and Lexie would say – she’s coded. Hard.   

Cristina’s also starting to crack as Erica continues to shut her down over and over and over. The moment in surgery when Erica gives Alex props, and not Cristina – after Cristina is the one who massaged the baby’s heart back to life – for me, that has always been a turning point for Cristina. In that moment, I’ve always imagined that Cristina’s world probably flashes before her eyes– Cristina can’t help but compare her relationship with Erica Hahn to how trusted and encouraged she always was with Burke. The moment leaves Cristina a little raw, which is why she’s able to confront Hahn later at the bar.  But even when confronted, Erica’s explanation to Cristina isn’t exactly something Cristina can take a lot of comfort in…

Then there’s Callie – and Erica. And the vagina monologues, which – actually – I’m choosing not to blog about. This is one story you should just watch and enjoy. Anything I might say about it now will simply step on your enjoyment of what’s to come, so…

On to Derek.  Who is all sorts of conflicted over working with Meredith on this clinical trial. On one hand, Meredith is finally shining professionally – and Derek doesn’t want to let her down. He wants her to shine, he wants to help her if he can… but on the other hand, he knows the reality of this clinical trial; he knows there are ridiculous risks. He also knows that the closer he and Meredith work together, the harder it will be for him if he can’t help her make medical history. She’s expecting greatness, and he isn’t sure he can deliver on that, which only feeds his anxiety about performing this first clinical trial surgery.

By the way, I would just like to point out that I’ve been writing on Grey’s since Season One, and Phillip, the clinical trial patient, is the first patient I’ve ever killed in one of my episodes. I made the mistake of mentioning this fact in the writer’s room one day, and I’m pretty sure that had something to do with Shonda’s insistence that Phillip must die (never mind that the story really doesn’t work if he lives. This is all about me. Obviously.) At any rate, I am no longer a patient killing virgin. Just wanted to point that out.

Finally, there’s Alex. And Ava. Or Rebecca. Or whatever you want to call her… Here’s something you should know about this story – we debated a long long time as to whether or not we should reveal in this episode – or a few episodes down the line – that Rebecca isn’t actually pregnant. In fact, even at our table read for this episode, it ended with Izzie looking at lab results, and uttering a little “Oh my god” – but nothing else. And you should have heard the reaction – WHAT DO THE LAB RESULTS SAY?!?!? – which, ultimately, is part of why we decided to at least answer that part of the question in the same episode we introduce it.

This is a story about Alex. Not about an unwanted pregnancy. Not about some unborn baby. It’s about Alex and what he’s getting ready to go through emotionally. What he’s willing and not willing to do. This is about his journey through the rest of the season – so we didn’t want to tease you guys with some faux pregnancy story that ultimately just felt like a stunt. By letting you know now that Rebecca isn’t actually pregnant – then letting you watch Alex take his next few steps forward from this point on… Suddenly the entire arc has a much darker, more interesting underbelly. For instance – think about that last image of Alex reaching over and touching Rebecca’s belly… SO much more weird and creepy when you know what Alex doesn’t. It’s a moment that, for Alex, is filled with something tender and sweet and maybe even a little bit hopeful… only… for us, so not.

Before I sign off, I just wanted to draw your attention to something addressed in this episode - the fact that an HIV positive pregnant woman, with proper prenatal care, has less than a 2% chance of passing HIV on to her unborn baby. It's a piece of medical information most people don't fully understand or realize (I know I didn't) -- including a few doctors. Which is pretty remarkable, really. If you're interested in learning more, you can click here: http://www.cdc.gov/hiv/topics/perinatal/index.htm

And that’s that. Addison has come and gone. Ava’s pregnant, but not. Mer and Der are (sort of) killing terminal patients for sport. Callie may or may not be speaking vagina monologues. And – I just realized – if you’re reading this before watching tonight’s episode then… well… I just spoiled a bunch of stuff for you – which is your fault for reading the blogs before watching the episodes anyway! Two words: Ya Coded.

Comments

[ng]

unbelievable episode... SOOOOO GOOD! thank you! the grey's that we know and love... now ok, ready for merder to be back together, i know its coming but am still impatient- loved it!

[Jennifer]

Who Hoo!!!

Grey's is back!!!

Loved it!!

[sara]

Secretly??!! Okay who is SECRETLY not liking the...okay I'm gonna be nice...Rose.Secretly is not the word to descibe it. The Rose hate is out in the open. And come on...she and her comment during the surgery was so not needed in this episode. And who says something like that to the exwife to the guy you are...ehhm...eating dinner with once in a while? Seriously you guys need to cut the comments they make me vomit in my mounth. See nothing secretish about it. Lets move on. ADDIE!!!I loved her. I'm not the biggest fun while she's inside of the walls of SGH. Okay honestly I always had lovehate feelings toways her but after the divorce and new Addie in LA there have been lots less hate in the lovehate. I think that she was what everyone needed. I wish she told Derek that he was an ass and an idiot and that he should dump the nurse because he obviously still loves Meredith...because we all saw the hand touching Derek. And I say more hand touching. Hand touching is good...touching of other bodyparts is even better. And I really like that Mer opened up to her sshrink and that she is really trying to work things out. And I like that she's being an kick ass intern again. although she's a resident now. whatever. And one last thing. I have a new name for Ava/Rebecca/Jane Doe....fake bitchhhh

[Debra]

Well, I see that noone has posted yet which is weird. I really enjoyed this episode. I liked the George and Izzie scenes best and I love Addison! I just have to ask that you don't let George and Izzie drift too far apart and please bring them back together if you do- as friends and more.

[Rob]

No explanation on Clea Duvall's character and what she went through in this episode???

First?

[Katy]

I love Addison too. Best Greys character EVER. Just glad she has more screentime on her own show now. Pity the writers screwed up Maddison, as they were the HOTTEST couple ever.

[Big Fan]

Such a great episode! I am excited to see where things are going, but I'm realllllllllllly afraid you're going to leave us hanging all over the place at the end of the season. BUT it's great to see that there is growth happening.

LOVE IT!

[Leah]

Great episode! Must say the only downfall of the episode was Rose talking about her and Derek's relationship to Addison in the OR- I almost had to vomit. Just like Derek said last week, about anticipation...can't wait for Meredith and Derek to get back together! Kind of wish the brain tumor patient lived for her, I am loving the new and approved Meredith, kinda like season 1 Mer. REmember they are the reason a lot of your fans fell in love with the show, so I hope you go out with a bang this season and continue the storylines of them together next season!!!!!

[Mel]

Absolutely one of the best episodes in a very, very long time. You had me laughing aloud when the residents were eating lunch and Christina was trying to "speak girl", and then you had my heart feeling for Alex and the fact that he is finally growing as a character. Wonderful, wonderful episode!

[Loved it]

The Greys I love is back! I love your writing Stacy!

It was both hilarious and sad. I fall more in love with Meredith every episode. I'm so proud of her.

Best of all the episode was DOSE free.

Counting down the eps for the MerDer reunion!!!

Keep up the great work!

[Mer/Der52fan]

I love Meredith & Derek scenes. I loved it when after the patient died and she shook his hand. I love any scenes they have together! Also, the lunch table scene was hilarious, as was the elevator scene at the end! Can't wait for Mer/Der to get together!

[Diane]

Thanks everyone for a fantastic episode! I really love Addison! I wasn't that fond of her in season 2 but that's more because I'm a MerDer fan. She's really cool and I love her last scene when she's talking to Meredith and I love her for not liking the plant, aka Rose.
I resent the implication that Derek is "pining away for someone other than Meredith Grey". Considering the fact that he's dating the woman he's supposedly pining away for, then there's no need to pine is there?
I love Grey's Anatomy, have loved it since the first episode which surprised me since I rarely watch tv. I have however stopped watching the last few episodes simply because I hate the fact that Derek is dating someone else.
All the characters are fantastic (excluding the plant) but the reason the show drew me in the first place was Meredith and Derek's relationship and not having them together makes the show unbearable to watch. I love the fact that Meredith is ready to deal with her problems but what about Derek?
He has been such a McAss lately that I'm seriously reconsidering whether I want them together. Meredith deserves so much better. He's wondering why she can't trust him, you'd think he'd have at least half a brain being a brain surgeon and all. He lied about having a wife! He made her wait for his decision, she begged him and he chose his wife. He said he would always be there, that he would always show up. He didn't. Communication problems? He has those too. He didn't tell Meredith about the Chief race did he. She told him she broke up with Finn, no reaction whatsoever. He threw it in her face that he had flirted with a girl at the bar. He told her she was the love of his life and turned around and kissed a nurse! He was supposed to wait, but apparantly that means 10 minutes. He showed her house plans meant for them, and then shows them to the plant. I mean seriously?! Are you freaking kidding me?! He has serious issues! He has to own up to the fact that he seriously screwed up. The reason why it didn't work out? He has a responsibility and if he doesn't take it I don't see how he and Meredith can have a functional relationship. I'm not saying he should grovel, although that would be my first choice scenario, I'm saying that he and Meredith sit down and discuss what happened so history doesn't repeat itself.
He was supposed to be her knight in shining whatever. He was supposed to be it. No more tequila and one night stands. He was the one who started the wrecking ball and he should own up to it. He failed her. Meredith doesn't have the healthiest way to deal with problems, but can you really blame her after all he put her through? She had to see her "McDreamy" (and I'm using that term loosely) with his wife everyday.
Make him earn his name back because he definately doesn't deserve it know.

Okay, I'm rambling. Sorry. I just, I'm just really disappointed that Meredith is the bad guy when Derek has just as much, if not more, to do with it. He needs to do some soul searching himself. I would love to see MerDer, but only if he shapes up. Either that or write up a fantastic guy for Meredith. She's suffered enough, don't you think?

Cheers!

[Jen]

Are Derek and the "Doe eyed scrub nurse" really all that involved? I didn't see any interaction/connection between them. And he basically ignored her in the elevator scene. Just wondering.

[CHTMGA75]

I don't want Callie to speak anything except "Mark Sloan". I don't Like Hahn. Cristina needs to chill. She is so needy right now. I felt sorry for Izzie for most of the episode, but then she became herself again. Addison rocks. My favorite moment of the show: "I bet you wish you'd taken the stairs right about now".

[Babs]

Stacey,

Nice job. This is one of the best yet this season of half seasons. I believe my favorite of the whole episode was Derek in the elevator with Addison, Meredith, and Rose. And then Sloan getting on at the next stop. How wonderful was that? It pulls all of the season together for him. I just loved it.
An Addison, she is great. Like you said walking back into SGH like nothing has changed, and so much has.
I truly loved this episode and can't wait until next week again.
Thanks for a great show.

[Beachfan]

I too agree - it was great having Addison back!! Can't believe how much I have missed her weaving in and out of each of their lives. No one, but her for sure, could have brought out all the reveals of last night's show. Great episode - so happy to have the real Grey's back!!!! Thanks so much.

[Danielle]

The old Grey's is back! The one that kept me glued to my TV and longing for nezt week's episode. The last two have been funny, emotional and suspensful. I am so glad to see the direction Mer & Der are going. I was never a big Addison fan but having her back was great. I think she should come back permanently. Great episode!

[Cindy]

This blog was as good as last night's episode. Rock on!

[Tricia]

You guys NAILED the dialog tonight. As a mom who knew I was having a child with a heart defect, I said those words "I just wish I could keep her inside me to protect her". I was watching the show last night and SOBBED because you just NAILED what it feels be carrying a baby inside you that they don't know if it's going to live or die.

[Martha from atlanta]

AMAZING. There are hardly words to describe the shock and wow. Me and my friends have been debating about Erica's sexuality since she turned down Sloan (who could?!)....as a joke. But, seriously? Lesbian? SERIOUSLY?! Never saw it coming. This writing could not be any better.
Addison was always a fav and it was great having her back. I hope this is not the last time we see her!
Amazing, truly amazing.

[HELEN]

comment virgin!!! Woot woot.
I LOVED this episode...Mer/Der forever!

Three words: Derek Christopher Shepherd. OMG! I have spent countless nights thinking up a middle name for Derek. I don't know why, but I never tried to think up a middle name for anyone else...just Derek. Christopher never actually crossed my mind, but I had chosen William.

PS. i love meredith's therapy, SHOW US MORE!

[Rachel in NY]

This was by far the best episode in a REALLY, REALLY, REALLY long time. There were almost no false notes- even some of the more annoying aspects were seemingly tempered by a quick re-direct. It seemed like the characters of S1 were back, and I have missed them!!! And I have to admit- having Addison around definitely made a difference. I think I know where things are headed with Hahn and Yang, but I sure would like to see something happen b/w Izzie and George- it just feels like there needs to be SOMEthing b/w them- I miss them! I like Meredith and Derek the way they are- they're actually being human and Meredith is actually acting like a grown-up. Sloan is good for eye candy (tho not my type) and quick one-liners. At this point, my favorites are Karev, Bailey and Addison. But by far the best line of the night was Yangs' "Girl Talk" and the quick response to Callie about her and Meredith's history with men. Priceless!

[Rachel in NY]

This was by far the best episode in a REALLY, REALLY, REALLY long time. There were almost no false notes- even some of the more annoying aspects were seemingly tempered by a quick re-direct. It seemed like the characters of S1 were back, and I have missed them!!! And I have to admit- having Addison around definitely made a difference. I think I know where things are headed with Hahn and Yang, but I sure would like to see something happen b/w Izzie and George- it just feels like there needs to be SOMEthing b/w them- I miss them! I like Meredith and Derek the way they are- they're actually being human and Meredith is actually acting like a grown-up. Sloan is good for eye candy (tho not my type) and quick one-liners. At this point, my favorites are Karev, Bailey and Addison. But by far the best line of the night was Yangs' "Girl Talk" and the quick response to Callie about her and Meredith's history with men. Priceless!

[Julie]

I thought you did an excellent job with the episode! I enjoyed the return of Addison but I'm glad she's leaving because really they've all moved on and bringing her back would be weird.

I enjoy Mere and Der calling each other Dr. Grey and Dr. Shepherd. I enjoy seeing Izzie lose it only to find it again. I liked hearing Hahn say Christina is like her (aren't we always toughest on someone we think is like us).

And Alex...what do we know about him really? Nothing. I'm anxious to learn more about why he is the way he is. And I think it's only going to be devasting for him when Ava/Rebecca isn't really pregnant. And Ava/Rebecca has become a bit stalkerish.

[Jen]

PLEASE BRING HER BACK!!!

Addison, that is. Last night's epi was awesome! Especially b/c she was back. It was like the old Grey's. She is so unique and plays her role SO WELL.

Her character is SO MUCH BETTER AT SGH! I've been a faithful viewer of PP and still can't get into it and don't really miss it... no offense! I just love her at SGH!

PLEASE... bring her back. Get her out of LA!

Thanks and keep up the great work!