Stacy McKee on "Piece of My Heart"...

Original Airdate: 5-1-08

I have a confession to make. About the character of Addison: I love her. Not vagina monologue kind of love – but love none the less.

I love her sense of humor. I love her friendships with Callie and Bailey. I love how she’s always known exactly how to call Derek out on exactly whatever it is he needs to be called out on. I love how good she is at her job. I love that she’s basically Sloan’s McDreamy – even if his feelings aren’t reciprocated. I love that she loves potato chips. I love that she walks the hospital halls in heels that any normal woman would twist her ankle in… I love Addison. And I love that this was her episode to come back to Seattle for a visit.

The nice thing about bringing Addison back right now is that – she’s been gone a while. She hasn’t been privy to most of the Seattle Grace shenanigans since her departure. So she’s uniquely qualified to walk back through the doors at SGH and call things like she sees them. She can react the way we’re all secretly reacting to Derek Christopher Shepherd pining away for someone OTHER than Meredith Grey. She can notice just how much her good friend Callie seems to jive with newbie Erica Hahn… and Addison can get Bailey to admit (the way Bailey would NEVER admit to someone she saw and  worked with everyday) that she is really struggling right now, just to keep it together.

Addison is a perfect sounding board because a lot of our characters don’t have sounding boards of their own right now. Addison is a safe confidant. She can take in everyone’s uncertainty, their panic, their pain… and take it right back to LA with her when she leaves. No one needs to worry about their friends and colleagues at SGH seeing the cracks in their armor. Which is good. Because right now – there are a lot of cracks.

For instance, Izzie.  She’s floundering right now. She’s all on her own and trying to figure things out for herself – but “on her own” is not exactly a comfortable place for Izzie to be… She doesn’t have the same kind of connection with George that she used to have; he’s got Lexie now, and all of his other intern friends. Izzie’s not at the top of her game professionally – she’s not finding her medical stride like Meredith or Cristina. Izzie’s doing the opposite; she’s hiding out in the clinic where even there her patients are requesting different doctors. Then there’s Ava/Rebecca/Jane Doe. Izzie learns Rebecca isn’t actually pregnant, but what can she do with that information? As George and Lexie would say – she’s coded. Hard.   

Cristina’s also starting to crack as Erica continues to shut her down over and over and over. The moment in surgery when Erica gives Alex props, and not Cristina – after Cristina is the one who massaged the baby’s heart back to life – for me, that has always been a turning point for Cristina. In that moment, I’ve always imagined that Cristina’s world probably flashes before her eyes– Cristina can’t help but compare her relationship with Erica Hahn to how trusted and encouraged she always was with Burke. The moment leaves Cristina a little raw, which is why she’s able to confront Hahn later at the bar.  But even when confronted, Erica’s explanation to Cristina isn’t exactly something Cristina can take a lot of comfort in…

Then there’s Callie – and Erica. And the vagina monologues, which – actually – I’m choosing not to blog about. This is one story you should just watch and enjoy. Anything I might say about it now will simply step on your enjoyment of what’s to come, so…

On to Derek.  Who is all sorts of conflicted over working with Meredith on this clinical trial. On one hand, Meredith is finally shining professionally – and Derek doesn’t want to let her down. He wants her to shine, he wants to help her if he can… but on the other hand, he knows the reality of this clinical trial; he knows there are ridiculous risks. He also knows that the closer he and Meredith work together, the harder it will be for him if he can’t help her make medical history. She’s expecting greatness, and he isn’t sure he can deliver on that, which only feeds his anxiety about performing this first clinical trial surgery.

By the way, I would just like to point out that I’ve been writing on Grey’s since Season One, and Phillip, the clinical trial patient, is the first patient I’ve ever killed in one of my episodes. I made the mistake of mentioning this fact in the writer’s room one day, and I’m pretty sure that had something to do with Shonda’s insistence that Phillip must die (never mind that the story really doesn’t work if he lives. This is all about me. Obviously.) At any rate, I am no longer a patient killing virgin. Just wanted to point that out.

Finally, there’s Alex. And Ava. Or Rebecca. Or whatever you want to call her… Here’s something you should know about this story – we debated a long long time as to whether or not we should reveal in this episode – or a few episodes down the line – that Rebecca isn’t actually pregnant. In fact, even at our table read for this episode, it ended with Izzie looking at lab results, and uttering a little “Oh my god” – but nothing else. And you should have heard the reaction – WHAT DO THE LAB RESULTS SAY?!?!? – which, ultimately, is part of why we decided to at least answer that part of the question in the same episode we introduce it.

This is a story about Alex. Not about an unwanted pregnancy. Not about some unborn baby. It’s about Alex and what he’s getting ready to go through emotionally. What he’s willing and not willing to do. This is about his journey through the rest of the season – so we didn’t want to tease you guys with some faux pregnancy story that ultimately just felt like a stunt. By letting you know now that Rebecca isn’t actually pregnant – then letting you watch Alex take his next few steps forward from this point on… Suddenly the entire arc has a much darker, more interesting underbelly. For instance – think about that last image of Alex reaching over and touching Rebecca’s belly… SO much more weird and creepy when you know what Alex doesn’t. It’s a moment that, for Alex, is filled with something tender and sweet and maybe even a little bit hopeful… only… for us, so not.

Before I sign off, I just wanted to draw your attention to something addressed in this episode - the fact that an HIV positive pregnant woman, with proper prenatal care, has less than a 2% chance of passing HIV on to her unborn baby. It's a piece of medical information most people don't fully understand or realize (I know I didn't) -- including a few doctors. Which is pretty remarkable, really. If you're interested in learning more, you can click here: http://www.cdc.gov/hiv/topics/perinatal/index.htm

And that’s that. Addison has come and gone. Ava’s pregnant, but not. Mer and Der are (sort of) killing terminal patients for sport. Callie may or may not be speaking vagina monologues. And – I just realized – if you’re reading this before watching tonight’s episode then… well… I just spoiled a bunch of stuff for you – which is your fault for reading the blogs before watching the episodes anyway! Two words: Ya Coded.

Comments

[Tiina]

Is SGH not supposed to be a TEACHING hospital? So it actually IS Hahn's job to TEACH Christina. I'm sorry, but this storyline is very ridiculous.

What right does Addison have to blame Meredith for the break-up? It's Derek who keeps treating Meredith like crap. Derek needs to man up and admit he's made mistakes, too. Otherwise the MerDer reunion just won't work.

Izzie is one of the worst tv characters ever.

I'm sorry, but this show is losing me. I can't watch the episodes without an FF button anymore. This episode actually was better than most this season, but unfortunately that's not really saying much.

[Me]

"She can react the way we’re all secretly reacting to Derek Christopher Shepherd pining away for someone OTHER than Meredith Grey."

Pining? Really?
Sorry but why I can't see it? I saw a poor man with many issues who he started to date with an easy woman. Derek isn't in love with that nurse. Anyway if you are seeing this. Why MerDer should get back together for good? And why it's ALWAYS Meredith's fault? WHY?

[Ashley]

I really enjoyed this episode, immediately after it ended I said, "Grey's is back!" Last week's episode didn't do much for me, I guess it was hard to get back into the groove of things... but this episode was full of awesomeness!

My only complaint is that I am still not satisfied with how the whole George and Izzie story line faded into oblivion. I was so wrapped up in the whole thing... and then it was just - well they don't have chemistry - that's over.

Favorite quotes: "I bet you wish you would've taken the stairs about now?" Hahaha... and “We just try to marry them or drown ourselves!”

Great job, guys!

[Nora]

So I loved Addison.

I loved George saying he missed Izzie laughing.

Those two should be together.

I wish I could be excited about the Alex and Ava thing, but my fear is this will reunite him with Izzie, and I hate those two. I don't care much about Alex either.

[Erin]

Seeing George help Izzie get her mojo back, I realized just how much they should be together.

I miss them so much. They were the best thing on the show.

I wish Addison had told Derek he was being an idiot, but no, not McDreamy, sigh.

I wish there was less of Alex, I plainly do not like him. I do not want him with Izzie.

[Deena]

I hate how you are destroying Ava, I loved her with Alex, in fact she was the one person who could make me stand him.

I want Gizzie back together, their scenes steal the show every week. They are so much better as a couple, those two are hot.

No to Alex and Izzie.

So Callie sleeps with Mark because hahn scares her? Lame!

[Dinah]

OK so first you ruin my wonderful Gizzie love story and now they won't even be friends anymore? GRRRRRRRR

And you are now ruining my second favorite couple Avalex.

Why? So we can have awful Alex and Izzie again, the worst couple ever?

[Jessie]

I am so seeing you coming with Alex and Izzie, and I want to cry because Izzie belongs with George not Alex.

I don't care what the critics tell you, most of us want Gizzie not A and I.

And poor Elizabeth Reaser, her character being destroyed so you can shove Alex and Izzie down our throats again.

I watched this episode for Addie, my first one since episode 7 where Gizie had the bad sex.

I will not watch again. Gizzie are hotter and mroe amazing than ever, but after Ellen Pompeo's interview, it is so clear you are never going back there and unfortunately Gizzie was why I watched.

[Jay]

Poor Mark, another woman using him for sex and not wanting a real relationship.

TR broke my heart looking so sad, missing Izzie. Izzie missed him too. Gizzie HAS to be together, they have to.

One scene with them and you can feel the love and connection, no other couple comes close, and don't even think of putting A and I back together.

Addison was great but I wished she would have chewed Derek more.

Izzie interns are losers.

Alex is such a jerk, I cannot feel bad for him

[Carrie]

Aargh, I can feel Alex and Izzie coming from a mile away and I hate it.

I want George to get Izzie, they were perfect together, why did you have to break them up?

Because Alex supposedly looks better?

Izzie and George are soulmates, not Izzie and Alex.

You put Izzie and Alex back together, I am done!

I enjoyed Addison's return except for her bit with Meredith at the end. We are not all pining for Derek Christopher Shepherd. In fact, most of us seem to be aware that he's screwed things up a hell of a lot more than Meredith, even if Meredith is the one you guys (and Derek and Meredith) always insist on blaming. Addison should have told Meredith to be brave and call Derek out because HE'S NOT PERFECT and he needs to realize that. And Meredith needs to realize that.

I don't know why I bother, comments like yours about Derek prove that you guys obviously don't read the blog comments at all. Just as much they are proof at how sorry your own love lives must be if a "man" like Derek is your idea of perfect.

[Mallie]

The show has coded, it coded long ago and for me, the Gizzie romance was keeping it barely breathing. But I realized today watching their wonderful scenes and realizing we would not be having those scenes again soon, that my love for the show was dead. My love for them will always be alive but it is obvious you believe Alex and Izzie are what the fans want (and it is what some fans want, but as many or more of us do not want them and want Gizzie).

I justn cannot watch if George and Izzie are not going to be together, sharing scenes and blowing me away with their connection like they again did tonight.

[NotoLexzie]

I wish you would realize Gizzie is where the magic's at, not Alex and Izzie. Look how amazing they were tonight, how much they missed each other. Their smiles and looks and George saying when he laughed, he looked for her.

That is true love.

How can you dump that for the chemically-deficient sexcapades of Alex and Izzie?

And what about George being mentored by the Chief?

[Gizziefanforlife]

I squeed and awwed so LOUD when George said he looked for Izzie when he laughed. God, those two are so much love, they get the best lines, they have the best chemistry an the truest love.

Why are they not together?

They should be!

[Della]

More Gizzie please, they are the best thing on the show.

Putting Izzie back with Alex would be an insult to all the Gizzie fans.

More MerDer

More Callie and Mark

More George Less Alex

[Jessica T]

I have so missed this show!!!! Please hurry up and get Derek Christopher Shepherd back with Mer!!!!!

[Marguerite]

OK, you made me fall in love with Gizzie all over again tonight. The chemistry is undeniable, how can anyone say it is not? They need to be together ASAP.

Izzie does not belong with Alex. The guy needs to be alone, he is crewed up, and he and Izzie have no chemistry.

As for Ava, I loved her, and hate what you did to her.

You ruined my Gizzie, you ruined Avalex and you ruined Addisex, all for Alex and Izzie, the worst couple ever?

You must be kidding!

[Adele]

I WANT GIZZIE BACK!

I want Addison back on the show, she is not the same on PP

I do not care about Alex.

I do not care about Callie or Hahn.

Mark deserves so much better

[Karen]

Please reunite Gizzie, they are so great together.

Please no Alex and Izzie.

Bring Addie for more visits.

[Spike]

I agree - great episode, and Addison was a goddess here.

I just wish strong, confident, sexy, fabu Addison in Seattle would somehow transfer to strong, sexy, confident, fabu Addi in LA.

Then more people would watch "Private Practice". Or love it, anyway.

[Sabine]

Wonderful episode, thank you! It had a really good flow! For someone as I - who does not really have really favorite characters (other than thinking Izzie really annoying most of the last two seasons) - I have to say that I loved seeing the different characters get about equal screen time without having the feeling of it being rushed. The momentum and feel of the episode was great.

[Amanda]

Great Job Stacy!
This was a wonderful episode. My favorite scene was Addison at the end, telling Mer to fight for Derek. SO FULL CIRCLE. You truly did justice on bringing Addie back, and for all the writers congratulations on making every single MerDer fan love her...(just not with Der). Although I would love for her to come back on Grey's, I know it's not happening anytime soon. But now I'm rambling, loved the episode, loved Rose being psycho (petting and tongue...who says that???) I loved that you made me hate Rose even more even with the basically one scene she was in (thank god!), AND I LOVED DER STROKING MERS HAND!!!

great job!

[Celina]

I love addie!!

love that she told off mer... she needed to be harsher with der though lol

and the awkwardness of this episode was one word, amazing!

[amy]

Fabulous episode! Classic Grey's...I'm totally remembering why I love this show!!!!!!

[matthew Rushing]

Thank you guys for another brilliant episode. I am so glad that I never lost faith in you, you have proven, once again, to know what you are doing with this show. I am going to continue to love watching it unfold. Grey's is so far from coding!