Stacy McKee on "Piece of My Heart"...

Original Airdate: 5-1-08

I have a confession to make. About the character of Addison: I love her. Not vagina monologue kind of love – but love none the less.

I love her sense of humor. I love her friendships with Callie and Bailey. I love how she’s always known exactly how to call Derek out on exactly whatever it is he needs to be called out on. I love how good she is at her job. I love that she’s basically Sloan’s McDreamy – even if his feelings aren’t reciprocated. I love that she loves potato chips. I love that she walks the hospital halls in heels that any normal woman would twist her ankle in… I love Addison. And I love that this was her episode to come back to Seattle for a visit.

The nice thing about bringing Addison back right now is that – she’s been gone a while. She hasn’t been privy to most of the Seattle Grace shenanigans since her departure. So she’s uniquely qualified to walk back through the doors at SGH and call things like she sees them. She can react the way we’re all secretly reacting to Derek Christopher Shepherd pining away for someone OTHER than Meredith Grey. She can notice just how much her good friend Callie seems to jive with newbie Erica Hahn… and Addison can get Bailey to admit (the way Bailey would NEVER admit to someone she saw and  worked with everyday) that she is really struggling right now, just to keep it together.

Addison is a perfect sounding board because a lot of our characters don’t have sounding boards of their own right now. Addison is a safe confidant. She can take in everyone’s uncertainty, their panic, their pain… and take it right back to LA with her when she leaves. No one needs to worry about their friends and colleagues at SGH seeing the cracks in their armor. Which is good. Because right now – there are a lot of cracks.

For instance, Izzie.  She’s floundering right now. She’s all on her own and trying to figure things out for herself – but “on her own” is not exactly a comfortable place for Izzie to be… She doesn’t have the same kind of connection with George that she used to have; he’s got Lexie now, and all of his other intern friends. Izzie’s not at the top of her game professionally – she’s not finding her medical stride like Meredith or Cristina. Izzie’s doing the opposite; she’s hiding out in the clinic where even there her patients are requesting different doctors. Then there’s Ava/Rebecca/Jane Doe. Izzie learns Rebecca isn’t actually pregnant, but what can she do with that information? As George and Lexie would say – she’s coded. Hard.   

Cristina’s also starting to crack as Erica continues to shut her down over and over and over. The moment in surgery when Erica gives Alex props, and not Cristina – after Cristina is the one who massaged the baby’s heart back to life – for me, that has always been a turning point for Cristina. In that moment, I’ve always imagined that Cristina’s world probably flashes before her eyes– Cristina can’t help but compare her relationship with Erica Hahn to how trusted and encouraged she always was with Burke. The moment leaves Cristina a little raw, which is why she’s able to confront Hahn later at the bar.  But even when confronted, Erica’s explanation to Cristina isn’t exactly something Cristina can take a lot of comfort in…

Then there’s Callie – and Erica. And the vagina monologues, which – actually – I’m choosing not to blog about. This is one story you should just watch and enjoy. Anything I might say about it now will simply step on your enjoyment of what’s to come, so…

On to Derek.  Who is all sorts of conflicted over working with Meredith on this clinical trial. On one hand, Meredith is finally shining professionally – and Derek doesn’t want to let her down. He wants her to shine, he wants to help her if he can… but on the other hand, he knows the reality of this clinical trial; he knows there are ridiculous risks. He also knows that the closer he and Meredith work together, the harder it will be for him if he can’t help her make medical history. She’s expecting greatness, and he isn’t sure he can deliver on that, which only feeds his anxiety about performing this first clinical trial surgery.

By the way, I would just like to point out that I’ve been writing on Grey’s since Season One, and Phillip, the clinical trial patient, is the first patient I’ve ever killed in one of my episodes. I made the mistake of mentioning this fact in the writer’s room one day, and I’m pretty sure that had something to do with Shonda’s insistence that Phillip must die (never mind that the story really doesn’t work if he lives. This is all about me. Obviously.) At any rate, I am no longer a patient killing virgin. Just wanted to point that out.

Finally, there’s Alex. And Ava. Or Rebecca. Or whatever you want to call her… Here’s something you should know about this story – we debated a long long time as to whether or not we should reveal in this episode – or a few episodes down the line – that Rebecca isn’t actually pregnant. In fact, even at our table read for this episode, it ended with Izzie looking at lab results, and uttering a little “Oh my god” – but nothing else. And you should have heard the reaction – WHAT DO THE LAB RESULTS SAY?!?!? – which, ultimately, is part of why we decided to at least answer that part of the question in the same episode we introduce it.

This is a story about Alex. Not about an unwanted pregnancy. Not about some unborn baby. It’s about Alex and what he’s getting ready to go through emotionally. What he’s willing and not willing to do. This is about his journey through the rest of the season – so we didn’t want to tease you guys with some faux pregnancy story that ultimately just felt like a stunt. By letting you know now that Rebecca isn’t actually pregnant – then letting you watch Alex take his next few steps forward from this point on… Suddenly the entire arc has a much darker, more interesting underbelly. For instance – think about that last image of Alex reaching over and touching Rebecca’s belly… SO much more weird and creepy when you know what Alex doesn’t. It’s a moment that, for Alex, is filled with something tender and sweet and maybe even a little bit hopeful… only… for us, so not.

Before I sign off, I just wanted to draw your attention to something addressed in this episode - the fact that an HIV positive pregnant woman, with proper prenatal care, has less than a 2% chance of passing HIV on to her unborn baby. It's a piece of medical information most people don't fully understand or realize (I know I didn't) -- including a few doctors. Which is pretty remarkable, really. If you're interested in learning more, you can click here: http://www.cdc.gov/hiv/topics/perinatal/index.htm

And that’s that. Addison has come and gone. Ava’s pregnant, but not. Mer and Der are (sort of) killing terminal patients for sport. Callie may or may not be speaking vagina monologues. And – I just realized – if you’re reading this before watching tonight’s episode then… well… I just spoiled a bunch of stuff for you – which is your fault for reading the blogs before watching the episodes anyway! Two words: Ya Coded.

Comments

[Mary From Washington]

First!!! (Maybe) Will right more later.

[jessicafreels]

Okay I just have to say that Justin Chambers is really hot.
Thank you for bringing back Ava....but I worry because what was real between them has now turned into something sort of desperate and stalkerish. And Rose offering her little.."Heavy petting lots of tongue thing..." kinda disturbed me. Best line
"Cause we screw men like whores on tequila"

[Mary from Washington (2nd Part)]

Hey Stacy,

Great episode. I thought you did a really good job. It was fun and dramatic. Exactly what a good Grey's episode should be.

I actually enjoyed Addison's visit back to SGH. I wish Bailey could have opened up a bit more but I understand where she's coming from. And I have to say that it's not all about Mer letting Der get away. He needs to want to fight for Mer too. She said she would "get ready" and he said he would wait. A few weeks later he tries to rush her into house plans and because she wasn't necessarily ready for that, he bolts. I think Addie should have kicked his ass a little bit more.

I'm really excited to see where these next three episodes take us. I hope that you are all working hard to make the stories make sense and not just come together "conveniently." Thank you for all of the hard work that you do. I love this show more than you'll ever know.

Thanks again Stacy :)

---Mary Senn

[Abigail]

THanks for a great episode - with lots of interesting things to think about!!

The scene with Alex and Rebecca at the end was very touching.

[Sam]

Really liked how this episode is finally heading toward a Grey's that I used to really love. PLEASE keep it up, thanks!

[Geoffrey]

Awesome episode Stacy. I was laughing so hard. This season 4 part II is simply amazing—the best in a long time.

Can't wait for the next episode!

[Danielle]

loved Addison's honesty, and hope that Mer listens to her!

[Kristina]

Um I dont think you got the Memo but:

DEREK'S MIDDLE NAME IS MICHALE. Not Christopher

Now years of fandom must be rewritten.

And yeah I need to rewatch because I dont remember much other than that.

But the ep was awesome.

Addie FTW!

[Carrie]

I'm still waiting for one of the writers to actually say something nice about Meredith. You came close Stacy. At least you didn't flat out bad mouth her like others have. I've got to give you that. And the Rose/Addison scene? If Rose was trying to be all Addison like in her comeback, she can't hold a candle. She came off as badly with Addison as she did when she first came on this show. Addison on her worst day as a character is out of the nurse's league and to try to give her some dialog to match Addison's wit, only made her seem more pathetic than usual.

The show rocked though! Love Addy. Loved Alex and Mark in this one. Mer/Der still take my breathe away! Nice job:)

[Jamie]

Thank You so much for my Addison fix.

I love Addison. She was so awesome tonight. It was a wonderful episode.

I loved her interactions with everyone esp Callie and Addie.

Kate Walsh is soooooo GORGEOUS.

[Jessica]

Addison is so great! Meredith and Derek still rock and I can't wait for the story to play out! So fun to watch Grey's again!

[Sarah]

Thanks for bringing Addison back, even if only for 1 episode! She was a breath of fresh air!

[jason]

Stacy-nice show tonight. It's good to see GA coming back to the fun and charm it use to have. I think Rose is a useless character and have wonder why she's there taking up key characters time though. But other than that, thanks for the second greatest show of this season! Looking forward to more!

[Stephanie in MI]

Awesome...I loved it. Already watched it twice tonight :) I love the way everything is unfolding and just am very excited to see what is gonna happen next. And that elevator scene? Priceless. I love that the one person Derek looked to was Meredith (really looked at)...that just warmed my heart. Could have done w/o Roses totally inappropriate comments in the OR though, lol. Please tell me he petted her on the head ok???
Or she is most likely lying the witch.
Oh I was very surprised to find out it is Derek Christopher..I always assumed it was Micheal,lol. I gotta lay off the fan fiction I tell ya :)
Addi back was wonderful, I realized how much I missed her :( But it was a nice to get to see her back at Seattle Grace.
I just loved it and I could go into all the little things but its late and i need to desperatly go to sleep. But I loved it, very much looking forward to next greys day and the most important thing.....my ship is gonna make it!! Long Live MerDer...the greatest ship alive!!

[kate]

nice episode

[Suzi Q]

This epi reminded me of the early days of Grey's, especially the humor. Mark was hilarious. Having Addison return to uncover some of the emotional stuff we might not see otherwise was a great plot device. It also established her as having come full circle. That felt really completed. Brain tumor man was so pathetic. His moods and the way his wife was hurting were difficult to take. Was there any significance in that for Mer?
Small touches really added to the story, too...the chips, the darts, "coded," all of those little things that add up to a really good show. Thanks!!!

[Sky]

Not enough Mer/Der in this episode too, but still I LOVED it. LOVED Meredith's hope and loved that it was not dashed even when Derek couldn't save the patient. LOVED seeing her try at the very least to save lives. I hope she does something "Ellis Grey" great. After all she was put through last season, she has that coming to her as a character. LOVED the show:)

[Allison]

I loved this episode and can't wait to see the rest of the season play out. Grey's is back the way it was in the past and I LOVE it. Keep up the good work!

*Can't wait for the MerDer togetherness! :D

[Canadian Grey's Fan]

I love Addison too! I wish she would stay at SGH...
I hope this MerDer clinical trial would bring them closer and by the end of the season they are back together... we need a love story back there, no more broken hearts!!!
Another great episode, keep up the good work!
Looking forward next week's episode!

[iheartaddison]

thank you for bringing addison back to seattle grace.

can't wait to see where the rest of this season ends up.

i'm so proud of mer for being professional with derek. can't wait to see more of her in therapy. seems to be working for her.

i hope bailey can have it all, the career and the family, and that tucker works out his issues with her.

[Lauren]

I love that the show is finally allowing Meredith to show what a great and dedicated doctor she is. And the fact that she is actually talking to the therapist is fantastic. I hope she will be allowed to continue to grow and confront issues other than her relationship with Derek.

And I felt ambivalent about the Ava-storyline at best, but if it will really allow us insight into Alex's past, that is great. I have been waiting for that for a long time. I miss him and Meredith bonding (as purely friends) about how screwed up their childhoods were).

I am really happy that Addison sees Rose for the rebound-girl she is and calls Derek on it. Unfortunately, I am less happy with how she talked to Meredith.

I was afraid that the show would continue to place the blame for what happened to Mer/Der on Meredith only, and it seems like I was right. Addison telling Meredith she is mad at her for letting "perfect" Derrik get away? She of all people knows how not perfect he is. And she knows what he put Meredith and Addison through when Adie came to Seattle. He is not Mr.Perfect, and his ex-wife should definitely know that.

No, I am not against a Mer/Der reunion at all, but pretending that everything was Meredith's fault and she has to change and then everything will be perfect- that is not only untrue to the characters but also sends a pretty dangerous message.

I also really don't get why Addison had to give Izzie yet another pep-talk. Seemsd like she gets one every episode. Alex gets called on screwing up every time, yet when Izzie is the one who makes mistekes, all anybody does is reassure her how great she is. The chief would have never let Alex get away with putting a patient -who didn't really have any symptoms- through hell for a contest, waisting money in the process. She isn't really that great. And yes, I get that she is going through a har time, but the other interns / residents had their hard times as well, and people didn't cut them slack. They were called on their mistakes and expected to change. It seems like Izzie is taught the same lesson over and over again, but nothing ever sticks. It's getting really annoying. And after she slept with Callie's (Addie's friend!) husband, Addie really should have better things to do that build her up yet again.

And Hahn's reason for treating Christina like crapis pretty inexcuseable. Because yes, it actually is her job to teach Christing. Seattle Grace is a teaching hospital. When Christina wasn't teaching her interns at the beginning of the year, Derek called her on it. Yet everybody is letting Erika Hahn continue to undermine Christina's education and career for personal reasons? That stinks.

It seems like some characters (Meredith and Alex, for example) are constantly reminded of their faults and asked to better themselves, while other characters who have just as amny faults and issues (Derek and Izzie, mainly) could apperntly get away with murder and still they would be the ones comforted because they are so perfect. These two are no more perfect than all the other characters. We as viewers know this, so please, have someone actually take them down a notch or two. They need it.

[Stephanie]

I, as always, LOVED the show. I have to say though...I totally laughed OUT LOUD when Sloan walks into the elevator at the end and sees Derek with his 3 "women"...I loved how he laughed! What I great little moment for him and Derek to share!
And thank you for bringing Addison back, I miss her!

[Wennie]

Where do I begin? I LOVE this episode. To see all the cracks and faults and uncertainties, and yet underlying all that - a measure of hope -- that all this pain and angst will lead to learnings and yearnings.
My heart broke seeing Bailey keeping the strong brave front, yet hearing her say that her heart was aching and wanting to tear it out of her chest herself.
One moment I had tears in my eyes hearing Bailey, and the next moment -- laughing my head off at the elevator scene -- as one by one, Derek, Meredith, Addison and the nurse entered the elevator. McDremy's expression was precious ... though I wish his laugh was as forced as it looked.
I LOVE the fact that you guys are back !!!!

[Barbie]

Tonight's episode was terrific! It was so fresh and fun with Addison back. It felt like old Grey's! I'm glad this episode didn't code!

LOVED the elevator scene at the end. Best part of the night!