Joan Rater On "The Becoming"...

Original Airdate: 5-8-08

Hi everyone, this is Joan.  Tony and I wrote this episode, "The Becoming" and I'd like to share some of my thoughts about it with you, but first I'd like to say ... OH MY GOD!!!!  I just saw some stuff that was shot for the Season Four Finale (that Shonda wrote) and it's soooooo good.  I don't mean to torment you and I really wish I could tell you all the cool things that are going to happen, and you should know the great restraint it's taking me not to give you even the tiniest little hint of what's to come (keep an eye on that champagne bottle from tonight's episode) because I have a big mouth and am really bad at keeping secrets so I can really relate to Izzie in this episode.

But enough about me and the Finale because first we have to get there and getting there is really what "The Becoming" is about.  Becoming who you want to be, who you know you could be if you weren't quite so screwed up or preoccupied with kissing when you need to be thinking about surgery.  All of our doctors are trying, really trying, to become these people they see in their head, the versions of themselves who are strong and successful and happy, their best selves.  Izzie wants to be a good doctor and keep the news of Ava confidential.  But how does she do that and be a good friend to Alex who is changing his life for this baby that doesn't exist?  Alex wants to be a good parent, but he himself didn't have very good role models so he's scared that he won't be able to do it.   George is trying to be okay with the fact that he has to repeat his intern year, and Cristina is really trying to make the best of a bad situation with Hahn.  And then there's Meredith.

Meredith wants to be a great surgeon.  She wants to succeed at this clinical trial.  But she keeps thinking about Derek.  Particularly his tongue.  Thoughts of kissing him keep interfering with the surgeries she loves.  So can Dr. Wyatt please give her some tools to make the thoughts stop?  Because Meredith feels like she has to choose.  Career or love.  She can't have both. 

I went to see my first therapist in my twenties.  She was this nice woman on the Upper East Side of Manhattan who told me, when I started whining about my lack of career, that most people she sees in their twenties are either good at career or good at love.  Not both.   And it makes sense, both things compete for your attention.  You want to spend time with your boyfriend but your boss asks if you can do some overtime.   How to negotiate both successfully is hard.  And I think when my therapist said it, she was trying to make me feel better, sort of like, "Yeah, you have no career but at least your boyfriend sounds very nice."  But it didn't make me feel better.  It made me feel competitive.  Because when I said, "Really?  You never see people with a good career AND a good relationship?", she said, "only a few."  Only a few.  That's all I could think about after the session.  Who were these FEW and how could I become one of THEM?  It was a subtle shift in my thinking, but I began to think less about my problems and more about how to fix them.  I started to imagine the new me in my head - she was a woman of action!  She didn't sit around all day waiting for things to happen!  She made them happen!  I'm making it all sound very purposeful and dramatic when actually it was ten more years of therapy that included much whining and many more hours of inaction before I had what could even be called a career .... but .... I think that Dr. Wyatt knows that Meredith needs to be pushed into action.  So Dr. Wyatt basically tells Meredith she's being a coward.  Derek's with Rose and it's not heroic to let the love of your life go.  It's cowardly.  How's she gonna handle it?  Because no one can fix this for Meredith but Meredith.  What's she gonna do?  I wish I could tell you --

And what about Mark?  When Bailey defends him to the assembly of nurses by saying, "You knew he was a whore when you slept with him, now you can't act all shocked when he behaves like a whore."  As everyone walks away, did you see the look on Mark's face?  It's like he's realizing what a whore he is for the first time and he's so sad.  A sad, sad whore.  What's he gonna do about that?  I soooo wish I could tell you --

I will tell you though that the Mark Sloan story was originally much smaller and much more a comedic runner until we had the read thru and Eric Dane brought such vulnerability and depth to his scenes.  We just had to expand that storyline.

And Cristina. Singing "Like a Virgin" while carving corpses. She just found out that Burke won the Harper Avery and she needs to not think. About how he's thriving while she's barely getting to do any cardio. And fo course, the girl who told depressed Meredith to 'dance it out' would sing in the morgue. And it works, she manages to get through the day without thinking about Burke until Richard calls her in front of the sexual harassment committee. She can't seem to escape Burke. And she lets loose. She's been so controlled, managed to stuff all her feelings about the Burke thing for so long but she can't anymore. She lets loose with her feelings and goes home and crawls into bed. This is a sadness that can't be danced off and I'd love to tell you what happens...

Also... for a while we had "American Pie" be the song Cristina sang, but it was weird, it's already sort of a mournful sad song we wanted something that really played against the corpses in the morgue thing...

So ... "The Becoming."

Season Four is about change.  Letting go of the old and embracing the new.  Redefining who you are and struggling like crazy to be that better version of yourself that you see in your head.  Becoming is hard -- it hurts like hell and can cost you friends and lovers and career advancement.  And some of our characters will succeed, and others will fail.  But all of them will try.  Because the alternative -- standing still -- just isn't an option. 

Like I said at the beginning of the blog, there's such good stuff coming in the next three episodes, and I'd love to tell you what's gonna happen, but I've taken an oath and must observe doctor/patient confidentiality, so I gotta go all Izzie on you.  You're just gonna have to WATCH!!!!

Comments

[Marie-Eve]

I have not watched the show since episode 4.7, the one where you hurt and betrayed all the George and Izzie fans.

But I do read up and I am devastated you are acting like Gizzie was never in love and going back to Alex and Izzie, whom I never liked.

Gizzie was why I watched, I miss themd esperately and hope one day you will give them a real chance.

The day you do, I will be back watching.

[Ephraim]

Absolutely beautiful!!

The patients serving as foils for at docs & everone else.

Dereck slept with Bailey? Or did I misunderstand? If he did, he's lucky.

I don't understand the piece with Callie & Hahn. What is a "couple?"

I'm stupid; ask my wife. POIFEC show!

[Megan]

The show was good, but one thing was missing: Gizzie. Those two lit up the show for me in a way no other couple ever could.

[fps]

Great episode tonight!!!
Everybody did wonderfull job!!!, I always love Ellen and Sandra i think both of them did a great job. I really don't like Rose at all, made me want to change the channel everytime seeing her face.
can't wait for next week episode.
Thank you writers!!

[s.cali]

By the way, Mark Sloane/Eric Dane is great.

[jessicafreels]

I love Mark but I really loved Alex in this episode....and I just have to say thiank god you didn't let Izzie spill the beans. Im SOOOOO over Izzie and her do gooder attitude.

[ali]

I loved this episode because it wasnt all just cheap sex and thrills--there was real emotion in it. And I loved the Christina/Burke thing, I mean Im not even over that so I really hope Christina the character isnt lol. Its like the show kept jumping forward with these new outlandish stories while the viewers were still stuck on the old gold material. Lets return to the Greys roots--give these people real sides, explore why theyre hurting. This is the grey's I was addicted to and so missing, and Im SOOO glad its back. Keep up the good work with episodes like this please, the ones that are true to what grey's started out as.

Also, loved Christinas hair in this episode...Meredith was beautiful as usual.

[happy devotee]

OH. MY. GOD. THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU. It was AMAZING. Seriously the best episode you have had in over a year. You have found the Grey's we love again--please don't lose sight of it (especially as *other* shows go back into production next year...). The magic moments are finally back. Cristina's speech, the Mer-Der moments...perfect!! For the first time in a very long time, I can't WAIIITTTTT for next week. And I somehow have faith that what you have coming is going to be every bit as good as you promise it will be (at last!).

[Maria]

I would be fine with Izzie and Alex as friends, but nothing more. They do not have that chemistry.

Izzie has that chemistry with George and every episode makes me want them back together more.

bailey was amazing roaring at the chief.

I am glad George is getting to evolve. I love him and want him to be happy, with Izzie. I do like his friendship with Lexie, whom I love.

I hated both Derek and Alex and have for weeks now.

[Jenna]

So Derek leaves Rose's bed, stops at a store to buy bubbly to present to Meredith for a successful surgery. Seriously, what's wrong with this guy?

My favorite part is the playing of the Mer/Der theme song in the background that you played in S1-2 in Mer/Der scenes, nice job as we learn it means nothing to Derek because he slept with Nurse Plot Device. That Derek is one classy guy.

Please writers, give Meredith some dignity and let her move on to a decent representative of a male character and let Derek stay with the nurse who fans dislike because those two deserve each other.

Move Meredith on and quit kicking her while she's down.

[Gabi]

The show was good but it was missing more Gizzie and way too much on the Alex and Izzie and just Alex.

I do not like him, how he acts and while I usually think Justin rocks, I thought he was weak and irritating in that episode.

The George and Izzie scenes again made me brighten up.

Remember that healer saying Izzie brightened up Alex, well Gizzie together brightens me.

I want them together again, this time for good.

I love Mark and hate everyone is using him for sex, he deserves better.

Great episode tonight. Once again great job!!!!
OH.....I heard kathryn will leave GA????
Well.... I thought she should remember really hard, she's nothing without GA!!!!!! oh.... BTW
not like she's a big movie star already.......

[Issa]

George and Mark are the ultimate men for me. I love them and I want them to have it all: love, career, friends, happiness.

They are the greatest.

Oh and I want Mark and Callie and George and Izzie.

[Liz]

Rose deserves so much better than Derek, he should have stopped things if he was thinking of Mer.

I know I should feel bad for Alex but what he just did to my sweet Lexie makes me not feel bad for him at all.

I would feel bad for Izzie, but if she is stupid enough to pick Alex over my wonderful George, she deserves all she gets.

I have noticved I love Izzie with george, he makes her such a great person and all glowy, but I hate her when she is away from him.

I want George to have happiness. I want him to be a resident. I want you to take him seriously not treat him like a joke because he is not some conventional boring good-looking guy, he is so much more.

I want him and Izzie together.

I would be ok with a george and Lexie fling (not a Alex and Izzie one) as long as he and Izzie were together in the end.

I like Lexie and want her to be stronger and not let people like Alex get her down

[Canadian Grey's Fan]

I love your blog Joan but you didn't say anything about Cristina, she was awesome!!! one of the best part of the episode, she openned up like we barely see... ever!
The other good part was the champagne... I can't wait for the nest episode snd the season finale.
This is the Grey's that I know and love!!!

[Lynn Grant- Vancouver, B.C.]

Finally, another enjoyable Grey's Anatomy after a very long hiatus. I thoroughly enjoyed tonights episode. Very well writte and filmed.

[Beth]

More Mark

More Gizzie

Less whiny selfish Alex

More Lexie

More Bailey

And more Cristina

[Stephanie in MI]

Brilliant...Bravo *applauds you*

I loved that scene with Derek and Meredith in the OR. That was amazing the fact that they were so insync with oneanother. Then that beautiful moment with the champange bottle....oh my gosh :)I think that said alot about them both, no matter what they will always be Derek and Meredith. I heart my ship so :)

Cristina just kicked butt tonight. Loved the singing and her speech to the chief.

Mark...my manwhore is growing up :) I just loved him and thank you for giving us Mark. He truly is an amazing character.

George just rocked as did Izzie and Lexie. I cant believe Alex forgot about her, lol. Loved Cheif and Adele tonight...I hope they can work things out. I was surprised to see her there...never would have guessed she was a nurse...hope to see more of that :)

Bailey...my heart goes ou to her, She deserves a great man and how adorable was Baby Tuck walking???? I swear that is the cutest baby in the world!! Good job on casting that little one...I so want to have one of my own when he is on, lol.

Alex what can I say?? Loved him tonight. I am just nervous as to what will happen when he finds out the truth :( I hope that he lets Izzie help him.

Callie and Hahn..i love their friendship and I still cant figure out what is going on, lol. Very excited to see what is coming next.

Oh and beautiful job on the love story :) Made me cry and I was hoping he would have been able to say goodbye before surgery:( You did good Greys :)

You so rocked tonight...just loved every moment and I am sooo counting down to the end. Gosh you cant just give us a tibit of info???? Plese??? Oh well my countdown is on and I am ready for it!!!!! bring it...i am soooo ready!!!

[Tiana]

I throughly have not been enjoying Grey's anatomy as I have been in the past. You have all of the other characters going on their busy little ways and but what about Gizzie? Why are they such at a standstill right now. You know its frustrating as fan to get caught up in a storyline that you throughtly enjoyed to see be depicted on screen and for it to turn upside down in front of your eyes is really really disppointing. I just dont know what else to say.

[katie]

I absolutely love what you have done with the characters in this episode!
I can't wait to see Alex's character develop, because that guy obviously has a huge story he has been trying to hide. It's heartbreaking to see him all excited to step it up for a baby that does not exist.
And as for Meredith? Seeing her in therapy shows big growth and is so exciting. I just hope she can figure it all out before it's too late.
Great writing on this episode. Can't wait til next week!
Thanks

[jane]

Ahhh....each week I go crazy, not over Derek (although those eyes get me each time), no!!~ Just at the fact that I want to know more. I have class at night. So, I have to DVR the show and I always miss the preview to next week's show. I have to know more!!!

As a loyal Grey's Anatomy, I will be patient and ponder in my own head as to what possibly could happen next. AAAHhhhahahah!!!

GA Writers: you're doing a fabulous job!!! Can't wait til next week. Thanks. =)

[Mary from Washington]

Great episode. I don't feel like writing a lot this week, but just wanted to say that I love Meredith so so so so so so much. She's amazing. And although I was mad that Derek slept with Rose I loved that 1. He thought about Mer the whole time. 2. It will hurt Rose in the end. And 3. He came back to the hospital to be with Mer after. It was great and thank you for not showing them in bed. Many many thanks. And Mark was pretty great in the episode as well. Thanks for all of your hard work on the show. Can't wait for the next two episodes. Ciao Grey's workers.
---Mary Senn

[Jo]

Would have to say Hank above mirrors my thoughts fairly accurately. I really enjoyed the previous two episodes and can't say the DerRosie sex wasn't foreshadowed extensively. I just had hoped you wouldn't go for the cheap shot. We saw it before in S2 w/ Addie so nothing new here except this time he apparently isn't quite as fond of himself.

[Tara]

I am with the person who said she loves Izzie and Alex as friends, but nothing more. The two have good platonic chemistry but no romantic spark, IMO of course. I know they have their fans.

I think Izzie belongs with George and one day when the timing is right, they will find each other again and I will be celebrating.

Derek is so far from being McDreamy, why would any woman want him, more importantly we would we want our Meredith with him?

[Janet]

How much you want to bet that when Shonda said Mer/Der would be together for good, but perhaps not happy means the nurse will end up pregnant next season? When will this show stop the gimmicks and madness? Please make it stop writers. Please tell me that when Shonda told TV Guide that she stayed up at night with how she would bring Mer/Der back together for good, this was not what the outcome was going to be...