Stacy McKee on "Kung Fu Fighting"...

Original Airdate: 11-1-07

So – I have this group of friends. It started as just four of us – two of whom I’ve known since I was six years old… They all live in Texas (where I grew up) and I live in California – so we don’t all get to see each other as often as we’d like… A few years ago, we decided to start taking little trips together – just us girls. Nothing too fancy – just happy, silly girlfriend getaways – to Vegas or New Orleans or Hawaii… And (as a joke, really) we started calling ourselves “The Bad Girls.” Mostly because we’d find ourselves in Vegas on a Friday night, totally wiped after airplane flights and crazy work weeks – and we’d be ready for bed, perfectly sober, by 11pm. SO happy just to sleep.

Very sad. So NOT “bad” at all. In any way. And yet… the name stuck.

Pretty soon, all our other friends, our spouses, our parents – they all started calling us “The Bad Girls” too. Us. The most ridiculously tame “bad girls” on the planet – I’m not kidding. Our version of hardcore is getting henna tattoos – because they’re not permanent.  True story.

The strange thing is, it’s like we’ve inadvertently formed some exclusive club --- our husbands get jealous of our trips and try to invite themselves along. Some of us have been approached by other friends – they want to be Bad Girls too; isn’t there some way they can join in all the fun? They’ll do what it takes. They’ll get hazed. They can be bad; they can be hardcore… It’s a little like our own private Fight Club or something – only, with pedicures and martinis instead of all the blood and – well – punching.

We’re so not hardcore, and yet… we also kind of are. Hardcore comes in many shapes and many sizes. (And, yes, I know that sounds porny. You people and your dirty dirty minds.)

Let’s talk about Meredith. She ended the last episode by finally putting her mother to rest – by washing Ellis’ ashes down a scrub sink. And now – she’s reeling a little bit. Starting to reevaluate why she is where she is, why she’s being haunted by her past, why – after experiencing death and coming back from it – she’s still too scared to really move forward and go after what she really wants – what she really needs…

Meredith wants nothing more than to be strong and brave and… hardcore. And, in this episode, she comes so close. She’s lying there in Derek’s arms, and she starts to open up – to let him in. And, you can see it in Derek’s eyes. You can almost hear what he’s thinking in that moment – that this is it. He put himself out there two episodes ago, he told her that he wants a future – a real future – and he wants it with her… And finally, Meredith is about to answer him. With something other than sex in an on-call room. She’s about to let him in and admit to him that life is short, so fricking short. She wants that same future with him too. And yet…

She doesn’t. She stops short of actually letting Derek in and – as usual – shuts down. Just shy of REALLY putting herself out there. Almost hardcore, but… not quite. He knows it. And she knows it. Which is why she’s so messed up in the end.

Ah… the end. When Meredith opens the door to find Alex and Lexie getting sexy in the hallway. Love it. In fact, I pretty much always love Alex Karev – like when he’s heckling George or stifling laughter as they all watch the skydiver video. Alex is kind of the epitome of hardcore – he’s a bad ass without even trying. He was with Ava last episode, he’s with Lexie in this one… and he makes no apologies for that. He calls it like it is – no one can say Lexie doesn’t know what she’s getting in to – Alex couldn’t have been more clear. She may get laid, but she isn’t getting a boyfriend. Not from him. Which she is Ok with…

… Or, at least, she must think she’s Ok with it. Lexie’s struggling to be hardcore herself. I don’t know if I’d go so far as to say, perhaps, this kind of struggle must run in the family, but… Okay. Fine. It must run in the family – because Lexie, though she’s very different from Meredith in many many ways, in this one way – they seem to be exactly alike.

Meredith and Lexie both want to succeed. They want to be strong. They want to feel normal. They want, so much, to be whole. But it’s a struggle – a genuine struggle for them. Being hardcore doesn’t come naturally. Sometimes, they have to fake it.

Which, in Lexie’s case, means getting sexy with Alex.

But my favorite incarnation of being hardcore in this episode, of course, comes in the form of the gentleman’s evening. Maybe because it reminds me of me and my Bad Girls. Or maybe because it’s so fun to see Derek and Mark try to figure out what the heck a gentleman’s evening actually is. (Monopoly is the perfect choice, by the way, because this is Richard’s gentleman’s evening. Remember – he’s the guy who brought a selection of soft cheeses with him to ‘rough it’ in the woods on the camping trip.) And maybe it’s because it’s just so great to watch Erica Hahn, on her first day of work at Seattle Grace, walk in, infiltrate the evening, and make the guys squirm.

Now SHE is hardcore. Clearly. A welcome addition to Seattle Grace. It’s been a while since a kick ass female surgeon stepped into the mix to shake things up. And the fact that it’s Cristina’s world she’s going to shake up the most? Even better. This is gonna be fun.

My point is – being bad, being hardcore? It’s all subjective. It’s a state of mind. It’s different for every single one of us. It’s an uber competitive game of Monopoly on Derek’s trailer porch. Or, it’s Lexie deciding she’ll take Alex up on his offer of uncomplicated, no-strings-attached sex. Or it’s George curling up next to sweet, frazzled Izzie, and deciding it’s okay if they just…sleep tonight. It’s staying awake for your own open heart surgery. It’s taking pride in your job, even if today that just means holding a bloody wedding dress, allllll day long… It’s giving yourself permission to take that rare day off of work so you can hop on a plane and spend some quality time with your Bad Girls. Even if the most debaucherous thing you and your Bad Girls do all weekend is fall asleep before 11pm and stay in bed the next morning till noon. That’s still TOTALLY hardcore. It’s not lame at all. Uh uh, no way. Sleep gives us strength. And you can’t be hardcore if you’re all tired and cranky with bags under your eyes and --- Ok, fine. Sleeping till noon isn’t exactly hardcore. Whatever. You guys know what I mean.

Comments

[Bhavana]

I love Izzy and George together!! He is perfect for her!! About the Hardcore thing, Derek is most Hardcore because he has the strength to stand by Meredith

[Scarlet]

George and Izzie, not hard core. Izzie is not sweet. She is demented and has a borderline personality disorder.

Please end Gizzie. They are horrible together. Can't stand them as a couple. Can't stand Izzie's absolute craziness and self-absorption and no matter how you all try to justify their relationship by giving George a pass all the time (this time by the Chief), he is a wuss. He'll never be hard core.

I like Hahn. Thanks for bringing her back on. I do like the potential she brings back to the show. At last a grown up. Don't make her silly or stupid and hook her up with someone too soon. I like that she's going to cause Cristina some angst.

[Lani]

I loved this episode! You writers never cease to amaze me! Keep up the good work!

No, I'm not fining Hahn fun at all, not bad, but not fun. But go ahead and turn her into the biggest hypocrite this year at SGH. She looks like she'll even surpass Izzie on the hypocrite scale ESPECIALLY if you people are even thinking of having her hook up with my dear Cristina. That's gonna be hilarious, cause she'll be hooking up with the very young woman she is judging for having relationships with mentors and attendings? Hilarious, only NOT. She's a turn off, already and their truly is no difference between she and Burke where Cristina is concerned, once again we have the power struggle and an attending mixing personal and professional with Cristina to punish her. Hahn started off the season with the personal talking to Cristina, who she does not know personally about her personal life, and her PAST personal relationships at that, not even in the present. WTF? SERIOUSLY, she does not appear to be freezing Cristina out of surgeries based on what Cristina can or cannot do in a OR, and that is personal. That is like when Burke use to freeze Cristina out of the OR basedo on what she was not DOING in their personal relationship. IT IS NO DIFFERENT and I truly hope that these two women are never close cause Hahn is a turn off. If you ever wanted this viewer to give Hahn a chance where Cristina is concerned you missed the boat. Did you have to have her come in and sing Cristina's praises, well of course not, challenge is always good, but I don't want another Burke for Cristina, don't want her with another ugly ego. Hell, even Burke had more of a vulnerable side here and there than Hahn. I also would have appreciated her telling the chief off if it WAS NOT HER FIRST FREAKING DAY ON THE JOB. Bulldozing her way into a personal get together, it was NOT professional at all, please writers, you are laying it on a bit too thick with Hahn to prove she's tough and no nonsense, and it would help if you made it seem like she had some common sense or even thought before she acted, and it does not seem that way at all. I mean, if she had been there even for a couple of weeks and she noticed that all the fuctions that the chief, Derek, Mark were went to, she was never invited, then well yes, you show her questioning the chief's actions. But the first day and an afterwork event at his place of residence which just happens to be right next to Derek, give me a break folks.

I'll tell ya where I stand on Mer/Der:

What I would like is for them to get Meredith another person, and NOT cause I care that much about Meredith's issues either;
or at least the anger in me for making Cristina seem like she should know what the hell to do with this chick or even know how to fix it, or should be more attentive is really pissing me off. This is turning me into those viewers who COULD NEVER STAND THE LEAD CHARACTER MEREDITH GREY because she's always whining. I've NEVER felt this way before, but using my dear Cristina for Mer/Der pimping is affecting the character I care about and there is absolutely no reason to except, you writers need someone to sit back and make their freaking life about Mer/Der on this canvas. You are making that character Cristina, and it is past old. She's not "doing" either one of them, nor does she want to so please leave her ALONE. Do what you did to Bailey last night and give her one scene, I'll take that OVER ever having to sit through her baby sitting Meredith for an episode, what a waste. Friendship my ass, it seeming one sided to me when you try to use the fact that she is a survivor to avoid showing HER being someone esle's concern. Not buying it. Ugh, if I have to hear Derek ask her about Meredith again, or talk to her about Meredith again, it will be hurl worthy.

I WANT MY GIRL CRISTINA FREE OF MER/DER, I am SICK OF IT. Meredith's issues with Derek are really small potatos, sorry, Cristina was left at the altar and now is being judged on her personal life, which um, no longer exists. Yet,I should give a crap about how she holds Meredith's hand ONCE A FREAKING AGAIN OVER DEREK. This is ridiculous for three freaking seasons now, while I've seen Cristina what? Go to Meredith like twice and lose it over Burke, and one time she did not even seek her out and that would be in the finale. Please the sooner Meredith gets back with Derek the better, and/or forms a bond with Lexie.

I don't care how much Shonda tries to spin that Meredith is damaged and worse off, it is as far as this viewer is concerned Cristina who is worse off. As long as Derek is in Seattle working at SGH that door is NOT closed to Meredith. ABANDONMENT? ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! Cristina was ABANDONED and the two men who left her WON'T EVER BE COMING BACK, WELL ONE IS LITERALLY DEAD AND BURRIED.

Thatcher and Derek are still alive, so Meredith still has chances. You writers are full of it. I'm very glad Cristina was not receptive to Meredith, the entire relationship is starting to turn me off as a concerned Cristina Yang fan. Cristina being a survivor does not mean she does not need to be loved and that she should be STRONG for Meredith especially now. Give me a break, I'm so over this "person" relationship.

[Tricia]

Another episode of proof that I watch for Derek and Meredith! Izzie has already gotten on my last nerve and Cristina, last night, seriously, that's a friend? Mer was talking to her and she was just down right mean. Cris knows she loves Derek, and she tells Derek that she is taking care of her- wouldn't want her for a friend. Still, the GIZZIE thing is just, you know that watery feeling you get in your mouth before vomitting, well that's what GIZZIE brings.

So the promo, gives hope for some more MerDer time, but isn't this where he'll ask her for more, and I assume she says no, and then he dates Rose the following week? These spoilers kill the episode for me, as soon as I am happy about something, like Mer realizing that Derek is the love of her life. I just picture her getting hurt once again and him dating another woman. Predicctable and uncreative, I know, but that's what their storyline has unfortunately become.

[ml]

Since when did Grey's Anatomy become the George and Izzie Anatomy show? There story line is so contrived and boring! Lose that story line!

[mk.mk]

I dont know what is so speciall about Meredith and dereck but I love them ,I love their love I love everuthing.Thank you for this season is GREAT.

[Hafsa]

Thks, Stacy loved the way you summerized everything, good work.
I am glad mer is starting to grow up, thats why i still dont get why derek will be going on a date on the 8th episode with lauren. Dont you think it will shatter mer even more? he knows she is scared to death of being abandoned yet he still went ahead and did it. It makes one wonder what exactly he is upto.
Lexie and alex.. does lexie even know that Alex lives with mer? and why the hallway for heaven sake? what happened to doing it in the room?
So after all the hearthache and fighting to be together.. whats up with Gizzie?
I think Dr. Hahn is a breath of fresh air for the show, very straight forward. I am loving Mark, he is just hilarious.
Good epi, keeo it up.

[tets]

Enough of gizzie please!

[Courtney B.]

I completely loved it!!!! I was soo proud of Meredith; I have been waiting for that for, well, forever. It''s like she grew up a little and that's exactly what she needs to do. Meredith and Derek need to be together, and it's Meredith's turn to take the step and she's finally trying. And all it did was make me proud.

Lexie and Alex....AWK-WARD! It was incredibly great, just extremely awkward. And both Mer and Lexie's reactions were priceless I think.

[BigFan]

LOVED IT! Another classically great episode :)

Keep them coming!

[nelle]

Thank you for Mer/Der! I can see Meredith getting there. Please make it soon. We need Meredith & Derek to be together NOW.
Ellen Pompeo is wonderful.

[maatlockk]

awesome episode!

i kinda understand why meredith is like that. but i hope it doesn' drag on too long. the whole 'i have intimacy issues' thing is one hekuva plot device. but i'd like to see it being resolved soon.

I have to admit I was lost with the wedding dress thing, I got what Callie said in the end, but the whole dress thing was like "What is going on?" Did they fight and that's how they got all those bruises. I called my friend and she was lost too, so I didn't feel so bad.

George and Izzie are like brother and sister. Watching them is incest- and that is why I feel grossed out when I see them romantically together.

And thanks for some Meredith and Derek. And the promo shows that there is something to look forward to next week. But isn't it when something good is shown in the preview, something bad happens by the end? I like watching Mer make progress, but it is heartwrenching to hear that a new love interest os coming for Derek. That will not only crush Mer, it will crush your devoted fans. And why should he be disappointed in her only saying a little. She hasn't said anything, and now she says a little, that is her trying to be with him. He is a neuro-surgeon, not a high school drop out, he should know what happens when somebody has emotional limitations and that the smallest thing means so much to them. It wasn't sex, and getting your clothes back on and returning to work, it wasn't S and M, it was that time after that she is realizing is safe. Don't ruin it, and give me a reason to stop watching!

Already can't stand Izzie, and now Cristina is right there next to her. She is not a friend. Maybe that's how Shonda's friends are and that's why we never have ANY happiness, but really she only cares about herself. She is not taking care of Mer, she didn't even want to hear Mer when she was researching a surgery, and Mer asks her what she should do and she says, "I don't know." She knows they love each other, she lost the man she loved because of who she is, and now she can't give Mer the advice that would have given her (Cris) the happily ever after. That isn't a friend that is a person who manipulates your life to give you more unhappiness.

I do hope that this new girl is coming to be a love interest for Mark and not Der. i feel like Mark is kind of on the sidelines, and really has no storyline, give him one. Give him a woman that he needs to tame- Rose should be that woman! Don't take the easy way out and break the main couple up again, when most of your fans know they should be together, allow them to grow and flourish as a couple!

[Amy]

I absolutely adore the second deeper level of symbolism operating in Grey's episodes. Completely summed up in your last paragraph. It's really.. emotionally and mentally fulfilling watching these episodes. Thank you.

(Callie letting go was mature and gorgeous, things are being handled perfectly so far. O'Stevens and Mark/Callie <3)

[Meaghan]

Great episode, i loved how much Mer opened up, i think it was a BIG step for her. I am not liking Dr. Hahn, every time she talks i want to stop listening.

mark and Der CRACK me up, i love their scenes!

[Hannah]

Am I the first??? OMG, Amazing episode! I absolutely loved it!!! That scene in bed between Meredith and Derek, god... so heartbreaking... I watch the show because of these two and last night was amazing... Please tell me nobody else comes along and this keeps going the way it's going... because if not, it would really really sucked...
Mark and Derek together, BRILLIANT... god, I'm so happy they are firends again... funniest friendship....

AMAZING

[Lyndsay]

So in the promo we have the chief walking in, and that would give us a reason to look forward to the episode, but isn't it always when things are shown good in the promo, they end bad?

Let's make a prediction- Derek asks for more and Mer clams up yet again and says that she isn't ready, just in time for Derek's new love interest to come in on episode 8. Then Mer will realize what she has lost and Derek will have to choose, ONCE AGAIN, and then we don't have a new episode for a couple of weeks. How close am I? It's sad the show has become predicatable when it comes to your two main charcters.

Get rid of Cristina's attitude, let her and Callie become better friends and be miserable together. Dr. Hahn could even join them considering there really isn't anything enjoyable about that woman. Cristina's nastiness is just dreary, let's face it, she does not want Mer to be happy, she wants her to be dark and twisty just like her. That isn't a friend!

George and Izzie are just gross, them talking about hot sex was just, blah. Now Derek and Meredith are AMAZING- they definetly are the hottest couple on television, hope you don't ruin that and remove the foundation from your show.

[redsox1]

Thought the show was good tonight. Some of the fun that Shonda has been talking about is back. Still, need to fix MerDer. As annoyed as I have been with the show, I don't want to see it cancelled and that is exactly what is going to happen if you don't keep Meredith and Derek together. Grey's Anatomy used to be the talk at the water cooler, but now no one is talking about it. I coaxed 4 (if not more) friends into watching Greys and this season not 1 of them is left watching. Me, hardcore Me is not watching the whole show. I no longer tape it, and I am changing channels while the show is on to see what else is out there. If Derek starts dating someone else, I really fear the viewership with give up. I know you need to do what you need to do, but there is only so much toying with us viewers will take. Please, don't cross that line!

[Just give me a sign]

Stacey,

This was BY FAR my favorite episode this season. The Mer/Der moment :sigh: and the Mer moments of clarity. I fell more in love with her if that's even possible.

I wish with my whole being that she would express all of those thoughts and emotions to him, especially everything that she said to Christina in the end.

The thing is, I'm really trying to be hopeful, I'm trying to think that this is a positive thing, the way that Mer is really trying but I know that the writers have plans to again take her heart and grind it in a hamburger again. It makes me literally sick to think about what's coming, to think about everything that they have gone through, everything that Derek has said to her, how hard Meredith is trying to work through her issues and let the love of her life in and for what? For him to move on with someone else, who's ready to give him what he wants? How can he? How can he move on when all he wants is her? Now were supposed to sit back and watch him move forward with someone else? I hope you are prepared for the ratings to drop dramatically b/c the millions of MerDar fans wont be able to watch.

How is Mer supposed to ever take him back after that? He broke her once..Now what will happen to her? Can't you just leave Meredith alone?

I just need something to happen. I need a sign that things are gonna change. I need a reason to go on. I need some hope. And in the absence of hope, I need to stay in bed, and feel like I might die today

[Please give me MerDer hope]

I just need something to happen. I need a sign that things are gonna change. I need a reason to go on. I need some hope. And in the absence of hope, I need to stay in bed, and feel like I might die today

[Grr]

Where the hell does she get off telling Derek that SHE is taking care of Meredith? If Christina were a real friend she would realize that Meredith needs Derek and would help Meredith see that. It feels like because Christina lost Burke she doesn't want Meredith with Derek. I'm really mad at Christina right now!

[Please]

Please give us some MerDer hope, anything can you give us anything to go on?

Oh and Gizzie and makes me seriously ill.

What are you guys doing>?

[Kim]

Excellent episode!! Loved every bit of it. This season is amazing!! I love Thursday nights!! It's my 1 hour a week to myself......and I LOVE it. Thanks for letting a busy mother have some fun every week....that's my hardcore night. A couch, a blanket, and my "friends" at Grey's!! I am a BAD GIRL!!! Keep up the excellent work!! You are all brillant!!!

[hmm]

It seems to be that Cristina does not want Meredith to be with Derek in a real relationship. Cris lost the person she loves, and though she will never admit that she needs help, she cant loose meredith- her person. If Mer was really with Der, HE would be in mers bed, not cristina. Especially since cristina knows both sides- she knows der wants to take care of mer, and she knows that mer does not want to let him go. Mer continues to have break-up sex because she cannot let him go entirely.
When mer asked cristina what she should do at the end, the answer was obvious- if you dont want to loose him, then tell him. they both knew this. Mer needed the motivation, and cristina did not give it to her. Yes, seeing alex and lexie did not help, but if she had the support of her person, perhaps that would not have stoped her. now its cristinas turn to be selfish- she even told der "im taking care of her."