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Original Airdate: 11-1-07

So – I have this group of friends. It started as just four of us – two of whom I’ve known since I was six years old… They all live in Texas (where I grew up) and I live in California – so we don’t all get to see each other as often as we’d like… A few years ago, we decided to start taking little trips together – just us girls. Nothing too fancy – just happy, silly girlfriend getaways – to Vegas or New Orleans or Hawaii… And (as a joke, really) we started calling ourselves “The Bad Girls.” Mostly because we’d find ourselves in Vegas on a Friday night, totally wiped after airplane flights and crazy work weeks – and we’d be ready for bed, perfectly sober, by 11pm. SO happy just to sleep.

Very sad. So NOT “bad” at all. In any way. And yet… the name stuck.

Pretty soon, all our other friends, our spouses, our parents – they all started calling us “The Bad Girls” too. Us. The most ridiculously tame “bad girls” on the planet – I’m not kidding. Our version of hardcore is getting henna tattoos – because they’re not permanent.  True story.

The strange thing is, it’s like we’ve inadvertently formed some exclusive club --- our husbands get jealous of our trips and try to invite themselves along. Some of us have been approached by other friends – they want to be Bad Girls too; isn’t there some way they can join in all the fun? They’ll do what it takes. They’ll get hazed. They can be bad; they can be hardcore… It’s a little like our own private Fight Club or something – only, with pedicures and martinis instead of all the blood and – well – punching.

We’re so not hardcore, and yet… we also kind of are. Hardcore comes in many shapes and many sizes. (And, yes, I know that sounds porny. You people and your dirty dirty minds.)

Let’s talk about Meredith. She ended the last episode by finally putting her mother to rest – by washing Ellis’ ashes down a scrub sink. And now – she’s reeling a little bit. Starting to reevaluate why she is where she is, why she’s being haunted by her past, why – after experiencing death and coming back from it – she’s still too scared to really move forward and go after what she really wants – what she really needs…

Meredith wants nothing more than to be strong and brave and… hardcore. And, in this episode, she comes so close. She’s lying there in Derek’s arms, and she starts to open up – to let him in. And, you can see it in Derek’s eyes. You can almost hear what he’s thinking in that moment – that this is it. He put himself out there two episodes ago, he told her that he wants a future – a real future – and he wants it with her… And finally, Meredith is about to answer him. With something other than sex in an on-call room. She’s about to let him in and admit to him that life is short, so fricking short. She wants that same future with him too. And yet…

She doesn’t. She stops short of actually letting Derek in and – as usual – shuts down. Just shy of REALLY putting herself out there. Almost hardcore, but… not quite. He knows it. And she knows it. Which is why she’s so messed up in the end.

Ah… the end. When Meredith opens the door to find Alex and Lexie getting sexy in the hallway. Love it. In fact, I pretty much always love Alex Karev – like when he’s heckling George or stifling laughter as they all watch the skydiver video. Alex is kind of the epitome of hardcore – he’s a bad ass without even trying. He was with Ava last episode, he’s with Lexie in this one… and he makes no apologies for that. He calls it like it is – no one can say Lexie doesn’t know what she’s getting in to – Alex couldn’t have been more clear. She may get laid, but she isn’t getting a boyfriend. Not from him. Which she is Ok with…

… Or, at least, she must think she’s Ok with it. Lexie’s struggling to be hardcore herself. I don’t know if I’d go so far as to say, perhaps, this kind of struggle must run in the family, but… Okay. Fine. It must run in the family – because Lexie, though she’s very different from Meredith in many many ways, in this one way – they seem to be exactly alike.

Meredith and Lexie both want to succeed. They want to be strong. They want to feel normal. They want, so much, to be whole. But it’s a struggle – a genuine struggle for them. Being hardcore doesn’t come naturally. Sometimes, they have to fake it.

Which, in Lexie’s case, means getting sexy with Alex.

But my favorite incarnation of being hardcore in this episode, of course, comes in the form of the gentleman’s evening. Maybe because it reminds me of me and my Bad Girls. Or maybe because it’s so fun to see Derek and Mark try to figure out what the heck a gentleman’s evening actually is. (Monopoly is the perfect choice, by the way, because this is Richard’s gentleman’s evening. Remember – he’s the guy who brought a selection of soft cheeses with him to ‘rough it’ in the woods on the camping trip.) And maybe it’s because it’s just so great to watch Erica Hahn, on her first day of work at Seattle Grace, walk in, infiltrate the evening, and make the guys squirm.

Now SHE is hardcore. Clearly. A welcome addition to Seattle Grace. It’s been a while since a kick ass female surgeon stepped into the mix to shake things up. And the fact that it’s Cristina’s world she’s going to shake up the most? Even better. This is gonna be fun.

My point is – being bad, being hardcore? It’s all subjective. It’s a state of mind. It’s different for every single one of us. It’s an uber competitive game of Monopoly on Derek’s trailer porch. Or, it’s Lexie deciding she’ll take Alex up on his offer of uncomplicated, no-strings-attached sex. Or it’s George curling up next to sweet, frazzled Izzie, and deciding it’s okay if they just…sleep tonight. It’s staying awake for your own open heart surgery. It’s taking pride in your job, even if today that just means holding a bloody wedding dress, allllll day long… It’s giving yourself permission to take that rare day off of work so you can hop on a plane and spend some quality time with your Bad Girls. Even if the most debaucherous thing you and your Bad Girls do all weekend is fall asleep before 11pm and stay in bed the next morning till noon. That’s still TOTALLY hardcore. It’s not lame at all. Uh uh, no way. Sleep gives us strength. And you can’t be hardcore if you’re all tired and cranky with bags under your eyes and --- Ok, fine. Sleeping till noon isn’t exactly hardcore. Whatever. You guys know what I mean.

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Addicted in LA

Hardcore...Callie is hard core. Letting go is hard core. Good for her!

Paula

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BRING MEREDITH AND DEREK BACK TOGETHER! BRING MEREDITH AND DEREK BACK TOGETHER! BRING MEREDITH AND DEREK BACK TOGETHER!BRING MEREDITH AND DEREK BACK TOGETHER! BRING MEREDITH AND DEREK BACK TOGETHER! BRING MEREDITH AND DEREK BACK TOGETHER!
BRING MEREDITH AND DEREK BACK TOGETHER! BRING MEREDITH AND DEREK BACK TOGETHER! BRING MEREDITH AND DEREK BACK TOGETHER!BRING MEREDITH AND DEREK BACK TOGETHER! BRING MEREDITH AND DEREK BACK TOGETHER! BRING MEREDITH AND DEREK BACK TOGETHER!
BRING MEREDITH AND DEREK BACK TOGETHER! BRING MEREDITH AND DEREK BACK TOGETHER! BRING MEREDITH AND DEREK BACK TOGETHER!BRING MEREDITH AND DEREK BACK TOGETHER! BRING MEREDITH AND DEREK BACK TOGETHER! BRING MEREDITH AND DEREK BACK TOGETHER!
BRING MEREDITH AND DEREK BACK TOGETHER! BRING MEREDITH AND DEREK BACK TOGETHER! BRING MEREDITH AND DEREK BACK TOGETHER!BRING MEREDITH AND DEREK BACK TOGETHER!

Nicole

Please no more George and Izzie...no more...please?!

Jeanine

Why is it so hard to have Mer/Der together. One lovely scene with them tonight and I SO was rooting for them.

I do want to thank you for AT LEAST having her tell Christina that she needs him. We know she loves him, why can't you just fix this for them? The show looses it's spark when they aren't together. Makes me sad a little really.

Daniel

Izzie and George seemed a little too Bro and Sister tonight for my liking. Creeped me out just a little and the first time ever where Heigl's crying seemed put on. They need to move on.

jackie

Seriously, why is Christina always in the middle of Mer/Der's relationship? Let her get one of her own and quit trying to ruin theirs. She's not taking care of Meredith, she's hurting her and she's also hurting Derek. Let Christina move on already! ENOUGH!

Daphne

How GREAT was Ellen Pompeo tonight? Again, just like last week, I completely felt her fear. When she told the skydiver about the "feeling ending" and loving someone and not feeling good enough for them, I SOOOO felt for her. Was the first time in a long time that wa as fans felt her love for Derek.

I so want them to work it out. I, like Shonda Rhimes, am rooting for them. I don't want (Lauren Stamile) "Rose" to come between Meredith and Derek. I want Meredith to finally be happy and when she gets there, I want it to be with Derek. She needs to tell them PLEASE!

Such a good show tonight though Stacy. I nearly cried at Derek/Meredith on call room scene and then at the end when Mer talked to Christina about needing Derek (loving him) I was moved. Just wonderful!!!

Jamie

George tonight was so wonderful. I loved him tonight for the first time since season two. My favorite scenes of him were without Izzie strangely enough. I felt the old George was back when he could finally be on his own and not with some woman. He needs some down time before he moves on to anyone, including Izzie.

Amy

The George holding the dress scene was so cute with Alex, Christina and Meredith watching him. I was so PROUD of Meredith sticking up for George just like in season one! Great job on this episode Stacy. More Meredith. She's without a doubt, my favorite character.

cindy clark

meredith and derek rock. they are sooooo cute together and after three seasons into four, don't we deserve to see them finally work? Please tell me you guys r gonna make it work! nice job:) cindy!!!!

Wonderful episode

Every week I've said, favorite episode so far, because they just keep getting better.
tonight, every scene, truly was perfectly orchestrated. Pretty & prettier, LOL - doesn't get any better than taht, and playing monopoly, priceless.

Last week was fabulous, and in particular the growth we saw in Meredith. tonight's episode was perfectly written. I love this show, but definitely biased towards Mer/Der. It was Krista I believe that said at some point that it was hard to write interesting story for Mer - Der. I cannot imagine that being less true than tonight. The moments between them and about them, as they obviously relate to one another were amazing. Bittersweet, sad, poignant, hopeful and just a bit frightening at the same time. You see, we keep hearing about this new potential love interest for Derek, and after watching tonight's episode, at least for me, the obvious love these two have for one another and the pain they both feel just leap off the screen into our homes and sappily enough into our hearts, and you're rooting, really rooting for them to work things out, because in life, these things happen, and it takes lots of love and nurturing and taking care of one another to make it work, and to eventually make it last a lifetime. I don't understand why all of you don't want to lead us down that path. It's not about them being together next episode, it's about watching their painful journey of discovery and being there for one another. It's not about them having sex, it's about them being intimate.
The on call room scene was one of the most intimate scenes ever between them, and you could see the expression in both their faces, the depth of their feelings.

So, basically loved the episode you wrote. Now, I have to mention what I absolutely hated - Cristina's reaction to Meredith. This is her person, her friend. She knows all Mer's insecurities, yet she knows she loves Derek, her ramble while Cristina looks for the surgery, and her answer, how does it affect/related not quire sure, is typical and selfish, and if she were really Mer's friend and cared about her, knowing what she is going through, she should have told Derek not to give up on her. Likewise, at the end, when Mer expresses one of her most intimate and heartfelt emotion, she is again not able to respond to her as a friend would. If my "person", who is having trouble sleeping and panic attacks, tells me, it's not about the sex, it's that moment afterward, when the world stops, and I feel safe - then the only thing I could do is encourage her to take that leap, and tell Derek how she feels, tell her about the conversation they had, how he wants to take care of her, and be supportive of Meredith talking to Derek, and be happy for her to find that "safety" that love and acceptance that she knows Derek wants to provide.

Jessie

Seriously, how can Derek be ready for marriage after he's only been divorced for a few months, but Meredith needs all this time to heal? It doesn't really fit, but she fought for this guy in season one and two, so if she needs some time, he should give her some. She's going to get there, but for him to say he would leave her if someone else comes along (Rose) then how can she EVER get over that fear of not being good enough and him WANTING to leave her? I love Derek so much, but I hate the fact that you are going to write him as that type of character.

Meredith just explained to us tonight it's not about the sex, but how safe and good she feels about herself after. If he hurts her again after she is presented this way, it's going to be so hurtful to watch. I LOVE these two. They make my Thursdays!

Maggie

Callie and Mark were funny tonight, but Callie rocked when she talked with George. It just showed me she's the "better woman" in all of this. She so deserves better than George for sure!

Seereeuzly....

Way to blog early Stacy!! Totally hard core of you doll! I loved the episode - as I love all things Grey's.

I swear, I just knew that Failed Parachute Guy was toast on the inside. I mean, he had no real visible wounds, and to fall out of a plane twelve thousand feet to the ground and end up with a punk ass appendectomy??? I laughed my booty off - Seriously.

How very grown up of our resident OrthoChick to try and bravely put it all behind her and forge ahead. I have always admired Calliope's strength and matter of factness. Good for her.

Derek (with the sad eyes - great line by Awake on the table Bird Guy) was thinking man, here we go and just when he thought this was it - Mer clams up. I was like sitting on the edge of the couch screaming at her to "JUST TELL HIM SILLY!!! LET HIM IN"

Cristina, doing her homework as usual (Yang is beyond brilliant), but still not getting in on the cardio surgery. Way unprofessional of Hahn to hold Burke against Yang - but I know that's what it is... I do adore that she's really taking care of Mer. Those two seriously remind me of me and my person...

Poor Iz and George - too tired to have their hot sex night - hilarious and beyond sweet. I think it's a good thing for them to take their time with this fragile and new thing. Sleeping together is probably the most trusting thing two people in love can do. Notice I said sleeping - as in actual drool on the pillow and snore like a grizzly sleeping.

Lexie and Karev!!! Oh. My. God. It just seemd like such a Meredith thing for Lexie to do. I didn't see that coming. To be fair, Alex did warn her, but I smell something brewing for the two of them. What a bastard for not telling her that he lived with Mer. Shocking for my poor Meredith to catch them like that.

Richard's Gentleman's Evening plus, one chick (Way to justifiably bogart your way in on the guys turf Erica)was hilarious. I loved that they ended up playing Monopoly (the hardest core of all board games by the way).

Typical Sloan to expect strippers though ( I knew Bailey was yanking his chain). I swear, if he wasn't so damn yummy, I'd karate kid his fine ass until he finally wised up to what us broads really need from boys like him.

George holding the dress (Sloan is a complete sadist to make O'Malley hold onto that darn wedding dress - especially given George and Callie's recent oh so sad history. I get Callie's need to exact just an ounce more revenge on George for hurting her the way he did. One last dig at him did the trick, obviously, because they actually talked like grown ups. I really dug that part. I also loved that George held his tongue and didn't snitch on Sloan and Callie when the Cheif mentioned someone abusing interns too.

The patients in this epi were cool as well - Bird Watching Awake Heart Surgery Guy was sweet - in a Revenge of the Nerds kinda way. Those women fighting over the wedding dress was a little sad and more than a little bit pathetic - but I got why the one chick wanted to do it. I'd do anything for my family - especially my mom and pop.

All in all a fine episode Stacy, you Bad Girl - pun intended. You guys, you Greys writers completely rock - from Shonda on down. I love what you guys have done with TV. You have my undivided attention. Your collective Kung Fu is very strong... **waves**

Janice Walker

I'm so NOT looking forward to the "anti Meredith" love intereest coming. I want to believe Derek LOVES Meredith, but this goes against his character. He's better than that, and I LOVE Meredith and want her to be happy. He's HER "McDreamy" not Rose's. Let Lauren Stamile's character go out with someone else plze!

jackson

Stacy...good luck to you and the other writers now. We hope all works out for you and thank you for ALL the great episodes! You guys work so hard and I hope it all works out for you!

Keep rocking Mer/Der in 2008 and good luck with this strike thing! May it all work out in your favor guys! jackson.

Sarah

Now Izzie wants Christina's career? Geeze..that's Christina's specialty. I alrady don't like Izzie, now it's totally official. I hate how you all try to make her the Snow White of GA..Trust me, she doesn't come off that way.

Can't wait until Hahn finds out that Izzie cut Denny's LVAT wire so she can KNOW Izzie is why Hahn's patient didn't get the heart! Right back on her then!

Stephen

Promise me you at least like meredith because it doesn't seem like it anymore. Meredith has always been the heart and soul of the show. In the first two seasons, she was all guts and heart, but now she's afraid? C'mon now..it's not Mer's nature and the girl LOVES Derek. It will be soooo nice when the fans finally get to see the both of them find that out together instead of the fans only knowing.

My heart breaks that all over online, Derek's new date is called the "anti meredith" as if McDreamy can only love someone who's not like Meredith. There are SO many of us who love Mer and it's horrible that we have to see someone else introduced to ruin Mer's world. It just makes me feel worse as each ep comes closer. Would you guys please consider fixing Mer/Der? They are (to me) the true love story of Grey's since day one and I could use to see some happy Mer/Der scenes!

Thanx!

Mary

I'm liking Mark and Callie more and more with every episode! They are funny and charming together!

Chandy

More Mark. He's cool!

Leash

11hrs sleep sounds pretty hardcore to me... throw in some room service and you have my idea of a perfect vacation

neecey

I love meredith and derek. they are the reason I watch:)

Charlie

Mark rocks!

Mary J

Alex and Lexie? EWWW! Don't make that a permanent fixture please, it grosses me out. Other than that...

I love the "new Burke", although I can't help but feel bad for Christina. Yeah, ok, she slept with Burke and that kinda helped her get experience when he had the tremor, but she really wants it withOUT Burke in the picture. I'd like to see her get some cardio surgeries.

I really love how Meredith is owning up to her issues. Yay for the return of strong Mer and saying goodbye to whiny Mer!!

Izzie and George...eh, I could go either way on that one. If the writing's good I'll get into it. Izzie was SO funny tonight with the whole "rare bird" speech to George, I was cracking up!

Ava needs toget a divorce and come back to Alex. I don't like adultress Ava, she's too selfish.

All in all, GREAT episode. It was so well-written, just a pleasure to watch!

Marcy

Look, if you finally put Mer and Der together in the next few episodes and don't dick around with this new love interest, I'll forgive you for everything. In fact, I'll think every episode up to this point this season has been brilliant. But, if you drag it out after getting us SO, SO close, I'm done.

Also, please, please, please deal with Derek's issues.

Hey - how about redoing the final scene from Pretty Woman when Richard Gere climbs up the fire escape and asks Julia Roberts what the princess did when the prince rescued her and she said "she rescued him right back" ---see that is what Derek needs. He needs to be resecued just as badly as Meredith.

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