Krista Vernoff on "Haunt You Every Day"...

First things first. Blogging about episode number 5 when you are currently spending long days in the writers’ room working on episode 12? This kind of thing was MUCH easier before I had a baby. Yes, since we last spoke my beautiful daughter Cosette was born – and with her arrival went the vast majority of my brain cells. Seriously, it’s craaaazy how dumb I am. Can’t. Remember. Crap. I currently have my lovely and talented assistant, Star, running around the building looking for a dvd of “Haunt You Everyday” so I can remember what the hell it’s about. I vaguely remember something about Halloween. So that’s what I’ll talk about.

Halloween has long been a favorite holiday of my family. We are a highly delusional people, and any opportunity to pretend to be someone else, we seize upon with glee. Every year, my Dad, until he died at 56, would spend like, 4 hours in the bathroom putting on this unbelievable costume. He would dress as one of the monsters from the Time Machine. What were they called?? Warlock? …Morlock! I think it was morlock! God, I wish I was kidding about my memory. Anyway, he was big on the holiday. I, myself, remember being chastised by a neighbor lady when, at age 13, I was dressed up like a kitty/bunny/rodent type creature, ringing doorbells and trick or treating. She told me I was too old for this sort of thing and I STILL remember my devastation, cause truth be told, that hadn’t even occurred to me. I loooove Halloween (and you can’t believe how excited I am to dress my 7 month old in a monkey costume and carry her around the neighborhood – no one can tell me I’m too old for that!!) I’m ranting, as usual, but my point is…Meredith. That moment where she tells Mark that Ellis never got Halloween together and didn’t approve of knocking on doors, begging for food… That moment explains so so so much to me about our lovely, broken Meredith. That her first experience trick or treating is taking an earless boy around the hospital to make his pro-bono surgery happen… I find it utterly heartbreaking. And I love that Mark points out to her that she fell pretty far from the Ellis tree. I think it was critically important to Meredith to hear those words, because the haunting Meredith is feeling, is the fear that she will die alone like her Mom did. Because Derek said he might find someone else before she’s ready. And she doesn’t know how to get ready. Cause she’s an emotional cripple who’s unwilling or unable to lay her ass down on a therapist’s couch for the many years it takes to work through issues like she has. Meredith’s version of therapy – her very best idea – is to bring her mom’s ashes to work. Y’know, in a strange way it makes sense – like, she understands that she’s been sticking her mom in the back of her closet, literally and metaphorically – and that if she doesn’t start to look at this stuff (i.e.: herself) she’s in danger of dying alone (i.e.; losing Derek forever.) Life is hard isn’t it? But I love and applaud Meredith’s ongoing willingness to try – as she explains to Derek when his hands are covered in mommy dust and he’s looking at her like maybe, just maybe he should escort her up to the psych ward, “This is me trying.” See, Derek comes from sanity, and a Mom who probably made him homemade Halloween costumes every year and chaperoned the school dances and things – so it’s hard for him to get, exactly how haunted Meredith is. Richard, though, gets it. Because Ellis haunts him, too. And my favorite scene, maybe ever, is the one in which Richard and Meredith put Ellis to rest in a surgical sink. I hope, I hope, I hope you all got this. I hope so much that no one found this disrespectful. (My Dad, for the record, has been laid to rest in something like 28 different countries. He had always wanted to travel, and never got to much, so after he died, my stepmom put his ashes in many little baggies and gave them out to all his friends with the directive that when they went somewhere cool, they should bring him. I kid you not. I myself scattered him in the Bahamas, in Paris and in Scotland.) Point is, there is nowhere Ellis would rather be put to rest than in the scrubroom at Seattle Grace. This is absolutely the most respectful and appropriate thing Meredith could have done. And Ellis was a very private woman, so the intimate ceremony, her daughter and the man who loved her most, was all she would have wanted. There are more things in this episode, I know there are, but I loaned my dvd to the new writer and my assistant isn’t back yet and my brain isn’t functioning and I’m needed in the writers’ room, so I will say goodbye here and wish you all a very happy Halloween. May no one ever tell you you are too old to knock on doors and beg for food.

Xoxo, Krista

Comments

[Miami Fan]

Great episode. But, just one thing, and no reflection on your wonderful writing.

The Mer/Der of it all kept me coming back. Tonight, realized that since the season began, if we watch the promos,we pretty much have scene all mer/der that there is, and especially tonight, one scene entirely scene before tonight, and then he never even bothers to find out what she did.
McDreamy was truly a disappointment tonight.

[Ashleigh]

Gizzie is still the nastiest thing to ever infest my living room.

I'm hoping with all that I am that you make Mark and Callie fall for one another. She can tame the manwhore and he can be the guy she needs.

[barb]

Is it true when Shonda said she is "rooting for Mer/Der" because seriously there's been nothing, but her words in her first podcast. Nothing of them to give me hope. Have you all run out of hope too? Please tell me you haven't because watching at times is painful now. I miss them. I mean them "together" I wish you as a writer did too.

[Bren]

All this progress Meredith is doing and trying the sad thing is it won't even matter. We already know she loses Derek to his new Lauren Stamille character.

It's so disheartening to know Meredith will just be kicked down some more by Derek leaving her so quickly for someone else.

Meredith was amazing to watch this week strongest she has been in a long time. If Derek can't see how amazing she is through his own selfishness it is his loss, because she deserves so much more than him.

She deserves a guy who thinks she is worth waiting for and loves her enough to do so. Not move on so fast with Lauren Stamille.

[Mitch]

Leaving aside the "Mer/Der of it all", Gizzie and even Ava, I want to touch on the two things that brought me to tears.

One was the man who was offered his own daughter's heart. I couldn't do that. I could never do that. I gave it to my son; I could never take it back. No matter what, I couldn't do it.

The other thing was something you mentioned in your blog, so you might like this: when it became clear that Meredith was putting Ellis' ashes down the scrub sink, the single thought that came to my mind was, "Perfect. That's perfect." And then it got even more perfect when Richard came in and helped.

Very nicely done. It's been a long time since I was able to chuckle while wiping away tears during this show.

Also, the brain does come back. Just one of those fun things about being a mom that nobody warns us about.
;-)

Mitch

[Sam]

BEST. EPPISODE. OF THE SEASON!!

Hands down.

Oh man. I don't even know where to begin.

I dont think I have ever laughed and cried so much in one Grey's eppisode in a very very long time.

I have never laughed so hard as when that little boy walked up to Mark and said "Daddy?" omg.... I just about died.

And Meredith carrying around mommy in a bag.. and Derek looking at her like she has finally gone around the bend. Priceless.

The George and his "I would have given my dad my heart" speech.. amazing. Just amazing.

Then the scene at the end with Meredith and the chief washing her mother down the sink was the most heartbereaking and amazing touching moment. It was just perfect. I have to say I felt a little cheated the way the Ellis story line seemed to end last season... but the way it was wrapped up in this eppisode was just perfect.

There were so many other things I loved, but I fogot what they were, the entire eppisode was just awesome. It has seemed like Greys is really back this season in the past few eppisodes... but this eppisode just proved that it IS back and better than ever!!!!

[Nikki]

The fact that you are making Meredith change for a man is ridiculous. Meredith should want to change for herself. I wish that you would make her have some type of backbone instead of constantly bending herself to change and heal on Derek's schedule. Sometimes I feel like the writers on this show give all the men a pass and let the women take the brunt of all the abuse.

[JoAnn from Hawaii]

OMG! THAT'S WHY I WATCH THIS SHOW! What a fantastic episode! I loved so many parts: everyone freaking out about the chainsawed leg and the Asian guy loving it, the dialog between George & Bailey, George & Izzie, Callie & Cristina, Mer & Lexie, Mer & the Chief, Chief & Derek, Sloan as the new counselor (Ok, this one takes some getting used to) AND Rebecca, Erica and Syndey back in the show?! LOVE IT!

Sort of glad Norman is out of there... he was a 2D character in a 3D show.

Happy, happy, HAPPY! Awesome all the way around. ~JoAnn

Great episode! Meredith didn't waste much screen time with Derek so she was actually enjoyable, allowed to be her own personality quirks and all, with a voice! Meredith without Derek is the only Meredith that's worthwhile.

People always love her scenes with Cristina or Alex or in this episode Mark... all the Meredith hate has come out of the Meredith that is connected to Derek--> the tequila lush one night stand girl, the pathetic 'pick me' girl, the mopey whiny girl who loses her panties... people never complain about Meredith in connection with Cristina or her friends. They complain about the Meredith who is half of MerDer. They like to drool over Dempsey and can't let go of MerDer because they were the original couple and the originals are always most popular, but plenty of people adored Burketina too and they're still watching even with no hope of their couple ever resurfacing. Meredith needs to grow and move on and she doesn't need to rush to be "ready" for Derek. She needs to be "ready" for herself and no one else. She needs to let Derek go and move on.

Meredith has two choices: Derek and misery, or health and happiness.

Maybe in the future, there'll be an option with happiness and Derek, but not with Meredith right now. Right now she needs someone else. Someone who is actually the dream guy for her-- someone who understands her, who's patient, who doesn't put pressure on her to conform to his needs...

Derek is horrible to and for Meredith and it pains me that it seems like so many fans don't see it because they're too busy drooling over Dempesy. (Dempsey is way more dreamy than Derek, by the way. So this is nothing against him. It's Derek Shepherd who is BY FAR the worst guy on the show (and considering George's behavior recently, that's saying a lot)

[Shannon]

This was by far my favorite ep of the season so far. I laughed, I cried, I loved it all! I love the friendship... er, whatever it might be... that's brewing with Cristina and Callie. Them being roommates? Never saw that coming, lol. But, it'll be fun. Meredith did what her mom would've wanted and the scene with her and Richard with Ellis' ashes at the sink was touching. Love Bailey - she just rocks! Period. I'm enjoying Lexie too, she's a nice addition to the show and I hope Meredith realizes she's holding judgement against the wrong person (though she's slowly getting better with that). The "Daddy" comment to Mark was priceless! On to my favorite, favorite people now... George & Izzie. OMG, these two are brilliant and only getting better. What a glorious pair and I'm dying to see next week's ep with them looking all romantic, finally being able to be together. It literally boggles my mind how some people continue to deny their chemistry. T.R. and Katie are doing a phenomenal job with Gizzie's story and I hope beyond hope that their relationship is allowed to grow and be the beautiful thing it is so we can watch and enjoy for a long time to come. I loooovvvveee Gizzie!!!

[tamz in ab]

I SERIOUSLY loved this episode...I haven't watched an episode in a LONG time that made me cringe(the patient who cut his leg off) laugh(the boy that went up to Sloan and said "DADDY"...HILARIOUS) cry twice(George convincing the father to take his daughter's heart AND Mer and the Chief spreading Ellis' ashes) and lastly mad because I HATE that Cristina is building an alliance with Callie...

[Joseba]

Thank you thank you thank you so much for the Gizzie scenes.

[sk]

... so Derek gets a new love interest ... then put Mer together with Sloane...
If Mer/Der won't be a couple for a while it'll be "funnier" to see Derek having issues this time.

[Diana R.]

I love that Sydney gets all schoolgirl crush-y on Derek and that Meredith says, "I can be cheerful."

The final scene with Meredith and the Chief and Ellis' ashes was poignant and beautiful.

A truly fantastic and enjoyable episode. Who doesn't love things in a baggy?

[Becky]

I did not pay attention to the begining credits and before I came here, I knew after watching this eppy that Krista wrote it. How did I know? Because it was brillant! It was funny, sad, and just the Grey's I fell in love with. You KNOW these characters and you wrote them as they should be written. Thanks Krista!

[Nicole]

I don't understand how Izzie can move so quickly from Denny. What they had was beautiful and lovely. What she and George have is shameful from the beginning of their relationship to I'm hoping a very public and humilating break up. Then I hope both George and Izzie can be alone for a while so they can really take time to grieve their losses (George's dad and Denny)

[Mark E]

I BOW DOWN TO ELLEN POMPEO. SHE IS BEYOND AMAZING. TONIGHT WAS PERFECT. thank you Ellen for such a perfect heart felt preformance.

Love your Writing Krista. Thank you for a wonderful Epi. everything about it perfect, funny, sad.. all of it is AMAZING.

[Nessa]

Great episode!
That was the grey's we all love!And seriously could George and Izzie be more sweeter and hotter together? They're so cute.And I'm so happy Meredith is on their side...I don't really like Christina this episode, but I can see she's sad that she didn't get the surgery.
I can't wait till next week
Oh and I loved the boy who got ears.Such a cutie!;)

[Mcsteamy fan]

Ellen Pompeo rocked the show tonight. what a great episode. I went from crying to laughing to crying again. I LOVED IT.

Krista, I always love your writing. thank you. And thank you for making Meredith deal with her mom (Man that was intense.). for Izzie and George to be out, Derek adn Mark scenes. and for Hann.

I am loving season 4.

[Dorothy]

Please stop the gizzie! It's a shame! And don't break MerDer it's the lonely thing to see in this show.

[Sarah]

What ever happened to good blogs? I feel like now, you guys are all just defending your plot and telling us what we already know.

[D]

Loved it so much. :D What a great episode! Meredith and Lexie together made me so happy. And the ending with George and Izzie...actually George made me happy all night for some reason. He's NOT a bad guy, it isn't black and white. And I loved Callie as usual. I also loved the little boy and just about everything that came out of Mark's mouth. Ava was great but I would love to see her back. :) Anyway! Good stuff! xxoo

[Tina (WV)]

Overall, the quality of this series continues to decline. The quick and meaningless sex, infidelity and now another troubled marriage (Bailey’s) is getting very tiresome and repetitive. This is just a continuation of the down whirl spiral of Season 3. Writers, why are you bringing down your show? You definitely have reached the SOS stage. Even the advertisers are beginning to question the storylines (see Advertising Age, “Dissecting Grey’s Anatomy”). Bringing on more characters and stretching existing storylines is not the answer. It’s sad, really. Bring Meredith and Derek back together, in a stable relationship. This series needs to heal quickly with stable relationships.

[Lia]

This episode was ok, I mean it wasn't season 3 dreary, but it is almost impossible to enjoy the show anymore with knowing that Derek is going to leave Meredith once again with his new love interest. And after watching a good episode, it was all ruined by the promo, "the more he is availible, the more I pull away."

We;ve been down all these roads of unhappiness with Mer and Der. It is annoying and forces one not to want to tune in. I see you all leaning towards their seperation, and I am telling you from talking to others and the MB, that really should not be your main concentration.

[lin]

I really liked the episode, I think it was very funny. As usual, I didn't like Gizzie (actually they suck big time), and I was kind of disappointed their affair didn't cause more reaction among the other interns. Normally, when people find out that two of their friends have have suddenly become a couple, they feel kind of disgusted. Well, I did here, anyway. I think it's going to be cool seeing Christina & Callie live together. One thing I don't understand is how the whole thing with George was finished so quickly - there wasn't even one scene between him and Callie alone, sorting things out (or talking about divorce or something). It feels unfinished and he's already romancing with Izzie. Meredith was likeable again for the first time since her ferry accident, I really enjoy watching her evolve. So the scenes with Lexie, Mark and, most of all, with the chief and her mum's ashes were fab.

What's also going to be interesting is what's going to happen with Christina & Dr. Hahn - there's obviously penty of explosive potential there ;0)

Finally, the only thing I found ridiculous was how hard Derek is trying to convince himself he's ever going to fall for someone else. Come on, the way he started turning his head for other women was pathetic, and when he tells the chief he'll have to start dating again, you really see how he must convince himself to say that. They're sooo going to end up together, MerDer. All this happens to keep things interesting for a while and keep the suspense. I just hope it won't happen only in the very last episode (like in Friends and other series) - I'd really love to see some happy couple time for once. They managed in Season 1, didn't they?

The funniest scene was the one with Derek and Mark - they're just great together.

So, all in all, compliments on a very funny episode. I truly enjoyed it more than all the others this season.