Krista Vernoff on "Haunt You Every Day"...

First things first. Blogging about episode number 5 when you are currently spending long days in the writers’ room working on episode 12? This kind of thing was MUCH easier before I had a baby. Yes, since we last spoke my beautiful daughter Cosette was born – and with her arrival went the vast majority of my brain cells. Seriously, it’s craaaazy how dumb I am. Can’t. Remember. Crap. I currently have my lovely and talented assistant, Star, running around the building looking for a dvd of “Haunt You Everyday” so I can remember what the hell it’s about. I vaguely remember something about Halloween. So that’s what I’ll talk about.

Halloween has long been a favorite holiday of my family. We are a highly delusional people, and any opportunity to pretend to be someone else, we seize upon with glee. Every year, my Dad, until he died at 56, would spend like, 4 hours in the bathroom putting on this unbelievable costume. He would dress as one of the monsters from the Time Machine. What were they called?? Warlock? …Morlock! I think it was morlock! God, I wish I was kidding about my memory. Anyway, he was big on the holiday. I, myself, remember being chastised by a neighbor lady when, at age 13, I was dressed up like a kitty/bunny/rodent type creature, ringing doorbells and trick or treating. She told me I was too old for this sort of thing and I STILL remember my devastation, cause truth be told, that hadn’t even occurred to me. I loooove Halloween (and you can’t believe how excited I am to dress my 7 month old in a monkey costume and carry her around the neighborhood – no one can tell me I’m too old for that!!) I’m ranting, as usual, but my point is…Meredith. That moment where she tells Mark that Ellis never got Halloween together and didn’t approve of knocking on doors, begging for food… That moment explains so so so much to me about our lovely, broken Meredith. That her first experience trick or treating is taking an earless boy around the hospital to make his pro-bono surgery happen… I find it utterly heartbreaking. And I love that Mark points out to her that she fell pretty far from the Ellis tree. I think it was critically important to Meredith to hear those words, because the haunting Meredith is feeling, is the fear that she will die alone like her Mom did. Because Derek said he might find someone else before she’s ready. And she doesn’t know how to get ready. Cause she’s an emotional cripple who’s unwilling or unable to lay her ass down on a therapist’s couch for the many years it takes to work through issues like she has. Meredith’s version of therapy – her very best idea – is to bring her mom’s ashes to work. Y’know, in a strange way it makes sense – like, she understands that she’s been sticking her mom in the back of her closet, literally and metaphorically – and that if she doesn’t start to look at this stuff (i.e.: herself) she’s in danger of dying alone (i.e.; losing Derek forever.) Life is hard isn’t it? But I love and applaud Meredith’s ongoing willingness to try – as she explains to Derek when his hands are covered in mommy dust and he’s looking at her like maybe, just maybe he should escort her up to the psych ward, “This is me trying.” See, Derek comes from sanity, and a Mom who probably made him homemade Halloween costumes every year and chaperoned the school dances and things – so it’s hard for him to get, exactly how haunted Meredith is. Richard, though, gets it. Because Ellis haunts him, too. And my favorite scene, maybe ever, is the one in which Richard and Meredith put Ellis to rest in a surgical sink. I hope, I hope, I hope you all got this. I hope so much that no one found this disrespectful. (My Dad, for the record, has been laid to rest in something like 28 different countries. He had always wanted to travel, and never got to much, so after he died, my stepmom put his ashes in many little baggies and gave them out to all his friends with the directive that when they went somewhere cool, they should bring him. I kid you not. I myself scattered him in the Bahamas, in Paris and in Scotland.) Point is, there is nowhere Ellis would rather be put to rest than in the scrubroom at Seattle Grace. This is absolutely the most respectful and appropriate thing Meredith could have done. And Ellis was a very private woman, so the intimate ceremony, her daughter and the man who loved her most, was all she would have wanted. There are more things in this episode, I know there are, but I loaned my dvd to the new writer and my assistant isn’t back yet and my brain isn’t functioning and I’m needed in the writers’ room, so I will say goodbye here and wish you all a very happy Halloween. May no one ever tell you you are too old to knock on doors and beg for food.

Xoxo, Krista

Comments

[Amy]

George and Izzie were *amazing*. I am so so happy for them.

I love Meredith, her story is so sad, I wish Derek hadn't unknowingly put so much pressure on her to be okay all the time.

Callie and Mark please <333

But again, George and Izzie look wonderful and in love, and SO SO far past just sexual attraction, they look so beautiful together, so calm and comfortable. Like coming home.

[Tiana]

Bring on Gizzie please. Shondra you are doing an awesome job with them

[BeckySue]

I so so so 'got' that moment between Meredith and the Chief. It moved me to tears. My own Mom passed away earlier this year. We all got a little bit of her ashes in a tiny little urn, but, the rest of her is still sitting in her box, on top of her tv in her house (that my brother now owns). My Dad's ashes sit right next to hers. I don't think any of us could bear to part with them. Somehow, having them there, means keeping them 'here'. Make sense?
I digress...I get the George/Callie/Izzy thing. I do. I don't care for it. I do like how Callie is standing up for herself. But, I have a feeling that this isn't going to last long. And, really, is Izzy in ANY position to be grinning so much? Can't wait to see how it goes with Christina and Callie being roomies. What a hoot.
And that little boy with no ears? Could he be ANY cuter?? He's the one who gave Meredith the idea on what to do with Ellis's ashes. Let's give credit where it's due. I hope to somehow see him again in future episodes. I mean, if his Mom works in the hospital, couldn't y'all arrange it?

[Mary from Washington]

Hey Krista,

First of all I just wanted to say that I love you. I had been checking since the summer to see when you were going to be writing an episode this season, and when I found out you were doing this one I was telling all of my friends. I absolutely love your writing. You have a gift with dialogue and storytelling that is so rare. I just want you to know that even though writers don't always get the credit or admiration they deserve, there is a group of people (i.e. ME) who do know who you are and would be just as excited to meet you as any actor on the show. I'm a huge fan and I appreciate and love the work you do :).

Now on to the episode. Can I just say SUPERB. It was funny, sad, sweet, and beautiful all at once. This episode struck the perfect balance that a drama series should have (i.e. Grey's is back!).

I could have used a tiny more MerDer (the couple I live and breathe for), but I understand that it didn't really happen because of the things Mer was dealing with and that's ok once in a while. I just don't want something like last year where weeks and weeks go by with less than 30 seconds of MerDer in each.

I do love that Mer is growing so much though. She said in the premiere, "It hurts to grow. Anybody who tells you it doesn't is lying." And I love that she's really trying to "evolve." She doesn't want to end up like her mother. She wants to be with Derek. These are huge steps. I know it will be a slow process, but I'm ready for it and am excited to see Mer embrace love and life.

I guess I should wrap this up since you'll have hundreds of more comments to read, but I just want to say that I truly appreciate everyone working for this show. I know it's a lot of work to come in every day and turn out a beautiful product, and I know that if it weren't for everyone including the actors, writers, directors, producers, and everyone in between, it wouldn't happen. So thank you again for giving us a wonderful week of Grey's and I can't wait for next Thursday.

---Mary Senn

P.S. If you ever need an intern who will work for free during the summer doing anything you possibly need I'd be more than willing to oblige. I'm a film studies major at Yale, so I need work experience and some sunshine lacking in New Haven :).

[Nicole]

Great episode. When Meredith was wondering where to put her mother's ashes, I had the same thought that the only place she would want to be was in the OR. Fantastic ending with the Chief, "Mer's fake daddy", at her side to put Ellis to rest.

I understand Derrick's need to find what he is looking for and I hope Meredith can work fast enough to get it together. But I suppose in true drama fashion, she will only be ready once he finds someone else.

[Deana]

BEST episode yet guys!!! I seriously was floored by the dialogue. I absolutely loved the Mer/Der interaction over her mother's ashes (very vintage Grey's). I love how Mer is trying, really trying to accept Der's love. She thinks the first step to doing this is by truly letting her mother rest. She is trying to become whole. Derricks speech last week really got to her and she is taking steps!!!

Then not even 10 minutes into the episode we get Ava/Alex!!! I am floored by the intensity of this encounter and saddened by her leaving at the end. Let's just hope she just went down the street and checked into a hotel, and did not check out of Seattle for good.

The Dr Hahn/Christina dynamic will make for a great antagonistic relationship in the future and Kudos for that!!! Christina, who prides herself in being the best was called out for her worst- whether it was true or not.

George/Callie/Izzie- where do I begin. First, I was pissed at Callie for calling out Izzie in front of her collegues. Then I thought, I would probably do that too if I were in that situation. Hurt the one that hurt me.....hmmmm. I am liking how this is developing- not making it easy on anyone in the situation. However they did "make it through the day".

Bailey- Seriously! I love her so much. I really can see her dilemma, being a working mom and trying to please her husband and herself. Chandra Wilson's brilliance amazes me week to week. She is my favorite actress on Grey's and on TV right now. Please tell her that!!

KEEP IT UP!! This episode ranks up in my top 10.

[down on Derek]

Seriously??? I loved the episode except for the part where Derek says he needs to start dating. Excuse me? Did he just not say (last week) that he loved Meredith, that he wanted to marry her, that he wanted to have children w/ her and die in her arms? He said he would wait. Yes, he did say if someone else came along while he was waiting he wasn't sure what he would do, but come on!!! Does that mean to start LOOKING for someone else a week later?

I feel like Derek is a total jerk and maybe HE doesn't deserve Meredith. She was awesome in this episode, by the way, who wouldn't want someone who spends her whole day helping a little kid.

I loved that Ellis went down the sink...I was hoping Meredith would put her somewhere in the hospital as that was her greatest love. And I liked that the chief was right there w/ Mer.

I loved the interaction btwn Lexie and Meredith. Excellent writing. I was laughing my butt off.

So I loved it all in all, but come on... make Derek be a little more realistic. People don't bare their soul and then move on a minute later. If he can, then he obviously doesn't really love her.

Like I said last week, I am one of GA's biggest fans, but I can only wait so long for Mer/Der to work out.

I will wait though, but unlike Derek, when I say I will wait...I actually mean it.

[Kelly]

I LOVED tonight, absolutely everything and especially Izzie and George, LOVE them!

[kayla shinae]

wow. this was definitely one of my favorite episodes. i think meredith showed amazing character growth. the scene where she said she didn't get halloween? that absolutely broke my heart. what kind of kid doesn't get halloween? (the kind that grow up to be dark and twisty obviously). but anyways, amazing.

oh and a few other things:

-the mark and derek friendship is one of my favorites. right after cristina and meredith. i love them together.

-i freakin love cristina. she always makes me laugh. like seriously, every episode.

-i'm praying like hell derek doesn't date. i don't think i could swallow watching him with other women.

and lastly, i am loving this season. i think you all are doing an amazing job and really getting it back into the season 1 style, only with a new and improved feel.

xoxo

[Auni]

Beautiful episode. You always write very meaningful ones, Krista. But Derek dating?? I thought he just said someone might come along, not that he would be ACTIVELY LOOKING (which he did quite a bit of in this episode). Mer is trying, and the picture of Derek that you have developed in the last few episodes is that of someone who would understand and be a LITTLE more patient then looking for someone right after he tell Mer he wants to marry her. A little strange--the only really eye-squint-inducing part of this episode.

Also, I really love how you brought up the whole "pick me, choose me, love me" thing in Meredith's dream. Although it's a bit of an easy shortcut into a character's mind and subconscious, clearly things were not going so well in conveying Meredith's inner life to Grey's audiences before, so I am at least glad that we got some insight there. I like that you used the "pick me" scene, and then that scene with her mother, to show Meredith's fear of being alone. But I don't think that's all the "pick me" scene was about, and not NEARLY enough has been said about it. As I said in a comment last week, the "pick me" scene is ulta important because of how it contributed to Meredith's intimacy issues and overall damaged-ness. I really feel that the way DEREK hurt her when he chose Addison after she laid her heart out for him should have been addressed long ago (i.e. the beginning of last season, which it very briefly was when Meredith was on morphine and in Addison's comment to Derek, and then Derek walking away...but then their relationship turned into an issue of Derek needing space and the way he hurt her/his fear of hurting her again was never addressed). As Dr. Bailey so eloquently said, things are never black and white. It takes two to get to a certain place in a relationship. Derek hurt Meredith and gave her major trust issues, and I really wish Meredith would come to terms with that and they would just talk about. THAT, to me, is one of the major issues they need to overcome as a couple--the fact that they keep hurting each other (without always meaning to) and where it all started. But please don't make her come to terms with it in a dream. Or an afterlife, for that matter. You writers are better than that. I know it's hard, but you're so good. You showed that to us in previous seasons when the drama and writing was so tightknit that I never once questioned a decision you made for the characters and plot (until the middle of last season, i.e. Meredith drowning and beyond). I know you writers have it in you--let's see it back! Please don't leave loose ends (or tie them up when it's too late for anyone to make the connection to where they came undone in the first place).

[Jen]

I am just so incredibly disappointed with this season. I have resorted to taping Greys and watching CSI , please give me a reason to reverse this tragic situation. Get it together people! The show does not feel well thought out or carefully contemplated as it did before. I hope you all can fix it before it is unfixable.

[Katie]

Krista!

I feel like hugging you. I don't know you, but I feel like hugging you. Because this blog? Hilarious. You sound vaguely drunk but I'm assuming that is the exhaustion talking, which makes entire sense. And you're allowed to be tired. You're allowed to be anything.

Because you are the best.

I feel like hugging you because...for the first time in 10 months, I enjoyed Grey's. Really enjoyed Grey's. I wasn't hugging a glass of wine wondering how much I could possibly drink without getting too drunk, but just enough to dull the pain. It didn't end with me crying on my bedroom floor, contemplating why the hell I even watch this show. It left me...happy. Entirely happy and at peace. I actually enjoyed it 50 times more than Supernatural...for the first time in 10 months.

So...thank you.

First of all, that little boy? He's my FAVORITE. I love him. The "Daddy" moment was classic and hilarious. His interactions with Meredith were GREAT.

Derek and Mark. Love them. They are the highlight of my week.

Alex and Ava/Rebecca/Jane Doe. Seriously? WTF? She's a terrible woman and a terrible mother. And they just...I don't buy it. At all.

Gizzie. End them.

Mer/Der. I feel surprisingly good about them. No matter what you throw at us (*cough*Lauren Stamille*cough*), I think they're going to be better than okay. They're going to be together forever. I just know that. But then, I'm a bit bright and shiny after the best episode of Grey's in a long time.

So yes, I love you. And I missed you. Because you are most definitely the best. Even my mother liked tonight's episode, and she usually spends the entire time complaining. But it was a beautiful episode!

Oh, and for the record...if the writer's strike happens, Alicia and I are entirely willing to be scabs. You don't even have to pay us. Well...paying the living expenses would be good...but otherwise...we're not asking for pay. We just want to keep Grey's going for a whole season!

Love you Krista! And thanks for a great episode! Oh, and congrats on the baby!

[KCS]

Loved all but Gizzard. Can't cope with it.....I can see I'll be fast fowarding thru their scenes next week as well. Wish folks saw how wrong it is.

Why do u guys mistreat marriage so? I do believe grey's is setting a bad example especially when you have so many young viewers. Wanna know who they are? They are the ones that love Gizzie. Sure there r a few mature folks that dig them.....but I would need to have a serious talk with them.

Anywho....I mean it when I say I LOVED everything else. Wish you coulda mentioned it.

P.s. Since when do adulterers get off the hook after 1 day? Gizzie has the worst moral center on this show. Denny is a joke now and that love was beautiful. Y'all mad Callie seem like she's crazy for ever saying yes to george and the only one that's got this right is Yang.

Whatever....Gizzie pisses me off and it doesn't allow me to say how much I love everything else (mark and der, mer and lexie, bailey, yang, callie, alex! Minus ava....she's married!!....funny nurses)

Please....less Gizzie Anatomy.....MORE Grey's Anatomy.

[Alexa]

Great show like all the ones you write.

Loved Meredith

Loved Lexie

George and izzie are love, pure and simple

And loved Alex and Ava

And Gizzie loving next week makes me so happy!

[Canadianscary&damage]

I love this week's episode. LOVE IT!
The part with Meredith and the Chief was perfect, don't worry Krista that was the ONLY way to put to rest Ellis Grey, was very respectful. I think.
Seeing Alex in a more romantic situation and not being rude and annoing was very nice, you should bring Ava more often!
Torn about the Gizzie thing... I knew it was too soon for George to get married when he was still grieving his father's dead but really I never like Callie in the first place... nothing against the actress Sara Ramirez but I never liked Callie.
Excellent writters, the episodes are getting better and better, I can't wait for next week's episode, please keep writting so we can have a lot of Grey's this year.
Congratulation on your babygirl Krista!

[Angela T]

Oh dear. Episode 12? So, it's too late to beg that Alex does not go merrily down the path of character assassination? Bad enough that he slept with a married woman, but it's being played as romantic. We were supposed to view Alex not going after a married woman last season (until the cheesy end) as cowardly. I viewed it as moral. And, now, we're supposed to cheer for the adulterous sex and hope Alex has "matured" enough to not care that she's married. At least, I assume, since you didn't mention him (funny, I thought once he began on the adulterous sex route, he'd be in with you people). You know, Alex's actions were indefensible, unjustifiable, and just plan disgustingly wrong (like all adultery is). Could you at least show him feeling remorse, and manning up to being wrong? It would be keeping him in character -telling Bailey she could yell at him and that he deserved it for his actions with the meth dad. Him acknowledging how sleeping with Olivia hurt Izzie. Even his guilt in not listening to Norman this episode. But, I believe it's futile since you're already up to episode 12 and you writers act like we're supposed to be falling for the "love" story of Alex and Ava. (Couldn't she have at least gotten a divorce?)

About the best thing in this episode was Cristina not giving in an inch with Izzie or George. That supposed smack down George got from Bailey? Sure, a small bit of criticism wrapped up in gooey sweet "See how great George is!" silliness. And, blaming Callie at all? The only two it took to get to George sleeping with Izzie were George and Izzie. Callie can have partial responsibility for there being trouble in the marriage,for them getting married too soon, full responsibility for not trusting George with the fact that she's rich, but the adultery is on George and Izzie's head. That, my friend, is black and white.

[Carla]

Oh God, I so hope we get a Gizzie kiss next week and they don,t get interrupted again or I will scream, I want a real kiss.

But this episode was SO good, forget about Cristina, I loved how Mer and Bailey did not judge Gizzie and Mer said she was happy for them.

I loved the sexy love not sibling love comment, little hint at the people who think they are like siblings, which is the most ridiculous thing ever, and loved Izzie rolling her eyes at that, I do too when I read it.

Those two are hot (and sweet) and nothing like siblings at all.

If they are, I just might be for incest, LOL

[ceb]

Gorgeous final scene... and you are making me like Izzie and George!

[Kaitlin (ShadowedAngel)]

1. WHAT DO YOU ALL HAVE AGAINST MARRIAGE? This is very disconcerting to me. Next blog, next week, next episode, I'd like some explanation. This is entirely unsatisfactory and disturbing.

2. Here's the recipe for a functional relationship, since I've seen that you botched it a few times and have weird hockey puck things coming out of the oven instead of delicious golden-brown relationship:

A. Take 1 part wonderful woman and 1 part nice (or even dreamy) man--mix together as evenly as possible

B. If parts man and woman start separating, use a few sprinkles of conversation and a dash of common sense to reconnect the entities, or separate entirely and try either new part man or new part woman

C. If part man happens to be self-obsessed jerk such as the Derek Shepherd Brand, take electric food processor and whip soundly with a cup of self-awareness (at times mixed with "significant-other shouting" or "personal epiphany" to keep the self-awareness from separating from the part man. The latter is rare, but works very well; the former is very common and generally helps, but has side-effect of causing minor separation and/or denial) until frothy and smooth. This tends to make the part man connect better with part woman.

D. Take a dash of personal issues and emotional drama for flavor, since relationship will taste bland and will spoil quickly without it. Be careful not to overdo it, though, as excess personal issues and emotional drama will unsettle relationship and cause it to crumble very quickly out of the oven (and taste very sour).

E. As soon as the mixture has settled, put into preheated oven with 400 degree sex and let settle until golden brown. There is no determinate amount of time until cooked, so watch carefully and occasionally check readiness.

I know your relationships will come out very tasty!

Point is: I'm only complaining about these things because everything else totally rocked. Except for Gizzie. And Izzie and her hypocritical mess. But that can't be fixed right away without a 9mm and a shovel, which is hardly the type of thing you want to espouse on television. Really.

Good luck with 412!

[La_La]

I really LOVED tonights episode. I felt so awkward for Izzie and the rest when Callie announced Izzie and George's affair. I know Izzie deserved some humiliation but it was still rough to see.

I'm really glad George and Izzie are gong through this together. I know how their relationship started was a horrible way to begin, but I can't help but love them. They make me smile. They give me those little fuzzy feelings that means you must be doing something right. They give me hope. I love the idea of falling in love with your best friends. It makes things so much more complicated, but it wouldn't be greys if it wasn't. So thank you. Thank you for giving me something to hope for. I hope to see more of them. Develop beyond friendship and into a real relationship.

I loved that Meredith finally made peace with her mother. She realized that she didn't have to be like her mother and she found the perfect place to send her off. It was perfect. I also really loved that Lexie told her that creepy yet sweet story about the cat. Very Sweet. I'm more interested in seeing Lexie and Meredith's relationship grow than Derek's at this point. Let Derek and Meredith grow a little independently. I'm sure they can find their way back to each other eventually.

I'm intrigued by Callie and Cristina. I think it will be good for them to bond and get out some of those emotions from being hurt by love. Although I have to say I'm not loving Cristina being so judgmental about George/Izzie. Izzie is right, Cristina/Meredith are a closed circle. As much as Derek and Meredith need to grow independently I think Cristina and Meredith need to a little as well.

Alex and Ava were cute although Alex is a bit of a hypocrit now for getting onto Izzie about George. Although I know that was much more about it being George than George being married. Still I hope Ava can allow Alex to keep an open mind about George and Izzie now.

Next week looks all kinds of awesome! I cannot wait to see what happens with George and Izzie. I'm already smiling just thinking about it. Thursday could not come sooner. You guys are just that good! Thanks again!

[Rina]

When the heck did Cristina become judgemental? Because I don't like it and her walking away when george said they were waiting out of respect for Callie really irked me, I don't see her having judged Mer when Mer DID NOT wait to tell Addison or Fynn before shagging Derek at the prom. George and Izzie have been waiting and resisting the urges, and yes she judges them! Whatever, you are runing her!

Glad Mer didn't judge as she was in the same situation and what I love the most about Mer is her lack of judgment, that is her best quality.

I am glad at least Gizzie have some friends on their site and they have each other, and that makes me so delighted.

[Gizziefan]

OK, I am still squeeing over that last scene with George and Izzie, they are just too cute for words. Every time I think I can't fall more in love with them, I do, so thanks for that.

Abd loved the scattering of Ellis's ashes, very touching.

[Bye]

I have to say you are one of my favorite of the writers so I was very excited about this ep.

It wasnt my favorite,but I did enjoy the MerMark scene and the Mer/Richard scene and I definitely got it, it was perfect.

It's really hard for me to get excited for anything Grey's has to offer now that I know whats coming. The new love interest for Derek.. he's supposed to just move on quickly from the love of his life? find the woman that is ready to give him what hes looking for so quickly? How are we supposed to believe that??

I, along with millions of others cannot sit and watch this. I cannot stomach watching Derek move on with someone else.

Have you not noticed the ratings decrease? well its about to get worse.

Now I just have to decide whether CSI or The Office would better suit me.

Bye

[Casey]

I loved Eva's return! I thought it was great when Alex was finally able to fall asleep when he was next to her, and she left him her shirt to be used in the same way she described her daughter needing it. Because he does, he needs her.

And George and Izzie, I love it. I love the Bailey speech, because it is so true! Her husband is constantly making her to be the villain just as Callie always did to George. And it does take two. I am so happy with all of this

[Sushi432]

It was nice to George and Izzie smile and be a happy couple. Against all odds, they still deserve it. Thank you for making Meredith say "I'm happy for you guys." Somebody needed to say it. I mean, geez, Callie was the victim here more then anybody but that doesn't mean people didn't see George's marriage was a sham. Anyways, nice episode. Izzie and George are coming along nicely.