Debora Cahn on "Love/Addiction"...

Addiction.  Who doesn’t love a good addiction?  I know I do.  You try something.  You like it.  You try it again.  You build a little ritual around it, make it a special part of your day.  You tell time by it.  “Must be noon, cause I’m jonesing for another cup of my special English tea!”  or  “I know it’s morning cause I’m awake and ready for a hit of crystal meth!”

DON’T DO METH, KIDS.

See, here’s the thing:  anything can be addictive.  And it’s not always easy to spot when something slips down that slippery slope from experiment to habit to addiction.  Derek and Meredith thought they’d ended it.  Cold turkey.  White knuckle.  Over.  So over.  Well, it wasn’t totally over.  There was a bit of a hang-over.  A little no-strings-attached sex.  Just for old times sake.  No harm, no foul.  But the thing is, there is harm.  Derek doesn’t like it.  He wants to talk.  He wants to sleep over.  He wants lunch, with the woman he loved, or loves, or has some impossible to define love related interaction with.  He’s settling for just the sex, cause that’s all she’s willing to indulge.  But that’s only hurting him.  It’s just enough of the drug to keep him hooked.  Never enough to satisfy him, only enough to make him want more.  And he knows.  He knows he’s got a problem, but he can’t walk away.

Love.  It’s like crystal meth. 

DON’T DO METH.

Even Callie’s strung out.  Callie, who always seemed stronger than the rest of them.  More together.  Less at the mercy of her emotions.  Sure, George’s on-again, off-again interest, his loosey goosey commitment made her kind of nuts, but she always seemed like she was handling it.  Now she’s walking around the hospital like a crazy person.  Falling down on the job, which she NEVER does.  Unable to concentrate on anything other than the sneaking suspicion that her husband’s having an affair.  She knows it, in her heart she can’t deny it.  But she can’t face it either.  She’s in a marriage that’s destroying her, and her husband’s about to come clean and maybe put them both out of their misery, but she can’t let him do it.  She can’t let him say it.  She’d rather be a strung out junkie than deal with the pain of withdrawal.

That’s a pretty serious drug.

BUT NOT AS SERIOUS AS CRYSTAL METH, WHICH YOU REALLY SHOULDN’T DO.

I watched this documentary on crystal meth.  The fabulous Stacy McKee saw this documentary called “Montana Meth” right when we were starting to put together this story, and she told me to watch it, and EEEEW.  Meth is a nasty drug, and it makes you do nasty, gnarly things, like trade sex with people who don’t shower for a hit that doesn’t even make you feel good, and all sorts of other things that I don’t even want to get into.  I watched it with my 15 year-old niece, figured I’d do a little, “I’m your cool aunt and I’ll show you this documentary on meth and scare you away from drugs” and I’m a little worried that I traumatized her for life.  Meth is foul.  Don’t do meth.

And don’t get into relationships with people who can’t handle them.  Don’t you just want to shake Derek and Callie?  Don’t you want to shake them and say, “These people keep telling you they can’t give you what you want – believe them!”  But shaking them wouldn’t help.  Because they’re addicted.  They can’t walk away even when they want to. 

Maybe it’s okay.  Maybe you can’t avoid addiction, all you can do is pick your poison.  Special English tea is better than meth, and love’s better than special English tea.  It may put you through the ringer sometimes, but when it’s good, it’s really really good.  Worth coming back to, time and time again.  Worth getting hooked on.

Comments

[Ridley]

Leap of faith.

Shonda asked for a leap of faith and now I remember why I have no faith in anyone.

George and Izzie as a couple is the most laughable and unrealistic thing I've ever seen.

Meredith and Derek having sex and mockery is a slap in the face to the viewers who begged for them to have sex.

Callie is not this weak, spineless beggar that you've made her become and if you let go of the only decent character on the show then you're crazy because Ramirez is amazing.

I just hate to see the final nails going into this coffin but I feel like I'm watching if happen. So I better look away.

[Not happy at all]

Okay see this is one of the many things I am confused about. Nothing is consistent with any of the writers. There is no "loved" Derek LOVES Meredith, no past tense, he loves her, an all-consuming love. You can't have Shonda saying the exact opposite last week and you saying something completely different this week. EVERYONE needs to get on the same page, you cant expect us to believe that they arent BOTH in love with each other.

This is the biggest frustration with this show, it's never consistent.

The character of Meredith is already treading on thin ice, fans actually hate her, now what are you doing? You are making the rest of us hate her and shes my favorite, always has been. Why can't she take a few steps forward rather than 20 steps back, if she backs up anymore she will end up in the drink again and that has already been done.

When did she become so cold? the "perfect" man just asked her to have a damn sandwich with her.. she kicks him out in the middle of the night when he has to get up early. She rips Lexie apart, whats going on?

While I'm all for hot sex, I dont like seeing Derek so broken, we need to see some depth, it's not that hard to figure out what to do with our favorite couple. I suggest you figure it out soon before the ratings plummet even more.

I'm really at the end of my wits here, I dont know how much more I can watch. I thought the "old greys" was supposed to be back. Where is it? What happened? I know things arent going to get better overnight but from all of the spoilers I am hearing its only going to get worse. Have you noticed the dramatic drop in ratings?? Do you get WHY that is??

Addiction..hmm.. I know a little about that.. see I'm addicted to this show. As Mer said in her VO, you have to hit rock bottom, well I gotta tell ya, I'm almost there.

[Angela T]

Thank you so much for mentioning Alex in your -oh, wait. You didn't! You gave him a very nice story, I'll give you that. The best of the episode. But, you people hardly ever mention him! You hinted at back story, you showed him with a baby (cool!), you showed him making a stupid decision, and then you showed him knowing it and taking his licks (literally) like a man when he was told that he did something stupid. The writing of other characters could take a lesson from that. Speaking of....

And, could you people please stop pumping up Derek? He's not "the world's most perfect man" Nowhere close. He's not honorable (Mama Burke needs her head examined if she thinks either him or her son are honorable). And, his faults aren't just letting Meredith not give him what he needs (again, putting the major amount of the problems on her). He causes some problems, he has some definite flaws. And, they would be easier to swallow if people would acknowledge them on screen. Instead of everybody talking about how perfect and wonderful and honorable and what a miracle he is. No, I don't want characters perfect, but it's even worse when a character isn't perfect, but the show won't acknowledge it.

And, yes, as Chief Resident, the buck stops with Callie. She's responsible. I get that. But, it wasn't lack of concentration that caused the problems. It was Alex disobeying protocol (while Callie was in surgery, so she couldn't hold his hand and she shouldn't have to). It was Bailey, acting like a brat, overriding her decisions. A lot of people are making things difficult.

[Lillian]

Meredith and Derek need to have a long talk.Become a couple after the talk and none of the writer can break them up.I am gone otherwise.

[Rita]

I've had enough of Meredith and her issues and enough of Derek getting all the criticism when he's the one who is being used, not Meredith. Enough of using her problems as a pathetic excuse. She is a poor excuse for a woman. She doesn't do anything to fix her problems. And it is YOUR fault. Because this happens because of the writing. I don't want this Meredith with Derek. Let Derek be happy with someone else, Meredith doesn't deserve him.

[Glad]

I read the announcement for the new actress. I am hoping she is a love interest for Derek. He may not be able to walk away from Meredith quite yet, but I have. She's annoying and acts like a child. A grown up love interest for Derek would be outstanding! I was a bit down on the show but I am now going to keep watching because I am really excited about Derek being free of the Meredith the anchor and with someone else! I can't wait!

[Seriously?]

I'm cutting to chase as well, If you are thinking of bringing in a new love interest for Derek to increase ratings for the Fall Sweeps, you do realize you are digging your own grave, right?

There is no way I will watch Derek with anyone else, Addison was hard enough. I cant and wont do it again.

I will kick this addiction quickly.

[Donna]

I loved the episode and I have just one comment. Thank God Bailey is back!!! Listening to her chew Alex out brought a smile to my face.

[Allie]

Hey, Allie again, but yes... if this lauren person is a new love interest for Derek i will cry. =( But then again, it would be interesting to see how Mer deals with it, maybe it will give her a wake up call! BUT I REALLY HOPE ITS HIS SISTER!!! right?! Its his sister right??!

P.S: Idea for finale: MERDER PROPOSAL!!!! That would make your fans swoon. But if you want the proposal, you need to get the relationship back on track. they're kinda falling off the deep end. (and judging by the comments, you guys better save them...FAST!)

[Debra]

I also am totally addicted to Grey's and I don't do drugs OR TV much! Like so many others here, I, too, love Mer/Der and I can't believe where this is headed or that a new love interest is coming on for Derek. He told Meredith she was the love of his life. We all know she loves him, too, and is afraid of that emotion. Let them work it out together. It is okay for some characters to be happy. Some of us folks really are!

[Loving McSteamy]

I have loved each and every scene with Mark during the first two episodes, especially the Mark/Derek scenes.

Glad to see that someone cares at all about Derek. Its clear the love of his life doesn't as she can't be bothered ever thinking of what he would want or need. Let miserable, Me-Me-Me Meredith be alone and let Derek move onto someone else, someone that can at least try to love him back. You've damaged Meredith beyond repair, I will never root for this couple again, except to root against them. Bring back Finn for her, someone dull and boring for her to drag down with her misery.

[Not happy]

I think I now hate Meredith as much as I hate the Gizzie storyline. I never thought that was possible. Congratulations on the not so fine writing.

[She's So Over]

I think the term is "character growth"...How about giving Meredith a nice dose of that?

She's was dead and is now alive, and yet nothing has changed. I know you need her to be "flawed" but, enough is enough. Either let her character grow and learn how to let people (other than Cristina) in, or kill her off like you do all of her relatives.

[Channing]

In Season One, I was spellbound.

In Season Two, I was amazed.

In Season Three, I felt like I was being buried in a grave and the last few episodes were shovel fulls of dirt being thrown on me.

In Season Four, I'm clawing out of the grave and running, not walking, to the nearest exit.

You can have your Gizzie. You can have your Mer/Der of it all. You can have your game of 'kick the Callie' and let Izzie get away with murder again if you must.

I'm done.

[Steamyfan]

I so love what you're finally doing with my favourite guy McSteamy: giving him a storyline! Can you please give him and Derek more than 30 seconds per episode? The two of them and Alex and Cristina are the highlight of the episode, and the only good reason to watch for me right now.

Meredith is such a pathetic whiny mess that I feel like slapping her when she shows up on screen. She was a bitch even to Lexie. Fix this character please. And keep her away from Derek until she she's fully fixed.

Let Derek be happy for once. Make him date other people, and make Meredith see what she's giving up. Maybe that'll wake her up.

[Melly]

LONG LIVE GEORGE AND IZZIE! I seriously love them, right now, they are the one thing keeping me watching this show. LOL, you talk about addiction, well right now they are my addiction of choice.

[anne]

I adore Meredith, I really do. I like that she's messed up, and insecure, and unsure just like we all are. I think the people who call her whiney should carry a tape recorder around with them all day to find out how much they whine, too. But it really, really breaks my heart that Meredith can't seem to get over her intimacy issues. We all know she has them - even she admits it, but it's frustrating that she will stand there and talk about it very flippantly with a stranger but she won't actually get some help or take some steps to fix it. At the very least, I hope that in the future she will talk to Derek more about her hang ups. She has almost him twice before because of circumstances beyond her control, this time she has the control and I hope that she will step up to the plate, or I am walking away. I miss strong, kick ass Meredith. I admire Derek for his patience and his commitment, but he needs to stand up for himself and do a better job of communicating his needs to Meredith. Maybe, since they are "broken up" , he can sweep her off her feet again, and maybe this time she will let him. THANK YOU for letting Meredith have good hair this season, it was soooo tragic last season. thx

[Gizziefanforever]

I for one love the George and Izzie of it all, they are what keeps me glued to the screen. God I so wanted them to kiss when they were in the hall. George is so much mroe confident, happy and sure of himself when he is with Izzie. Callie makes him feel like he is nothing pretty much and he always seems so despodnent with her. Izzie gets George, faults and all, and he does too. They belong together.

this whole mer/der thing can be perfectly summed up by elliot yamin's song "wait for you". both mer and derek need eachother. mer will come around, i hope, and then they'll have this amazing thing because they stayed with it.

[Kate]

First of all, I have to say that this is the first episode since mid-season 3 that felt like "vintage Grey's" to me. I really enjoyed it. That being said, please tell me that we aren't supposed to buy for one second that Callie and Derek are in the same position. Callie may have thought that George was her McDreamy, but I don't think that George ever felt like Callie was his Meredith. I am fine with waiting for Meredith and Derek to get through this "impasse" we hear so much about, but in my opinion, we still need to feel that the love is still there. No matter how much Meredith would like for their relationship to just be about sex at this point, it just isn't. Breaking them further and further apart would be the biggest waste of chemistry on tv. Period.

[kendra]

i love this show. plain & simple. I may not always like what's happening in the characters' lives, but i love the writing and journeys you take us on. and i love george & izzie together! i have hope for them; i think they would complete each other. i'm in this right along with you... keep up the great work!

[Happy]

I have a problem. I'm seriously addicted to Grey's Anatomy. Especially Derek and Meredith. So, when is Meredith going to open up to Derek and let him know how she really feels about him??? What is it going to take to make them work as a couple? I guess I'll keep watching and see what happens next ...

[Lena]

OK, first of all, I want to say I really love george and Izzie. They make each other so happy. Izzie was glowing when they were in Mer's living room,l I have nevers een her like that. It seems George just ahs this magical effect on her.

And thr George with Izzie is the George that I love, the confident, funny, bumbling, sweet, adorable George.

Izzie makes George the George I love. When he is with Callie, his hsoulders slump, he follows her around like a bad puppy, a defeated, sad little man. With Izzie, he is all determined and cute and proud and sexy.

I want George to be happy, I want Izzie to be happy, I even want Callie to be happy.

And for that to happen, George ahs to tell Callie the truth so she can be free to be with a man who loves her, maybe Mark.

And George and Izzie have to be together, because there is now ay they can be happy or whole without each other.

[DealWithIt]

So let me get this straight:
You asked us to take a leap of faith...FOR WHAT EXACTLY?!? Are the writers running out of story lines already? Do you have to resort to breaking Mer/Der up partially because other story lines aren't that great?

Here's a prediction: Derek begins to fall for that new doctor played by some new actress who's all over the internet now (not Lexie). He becomes happy w/her and Meredith's jealousy is what finally kicks her into gear to be able to have a normal relationship w/him...just in time for S4 to end.

If that's where you're going then I quit. GA isn't that big of an addiction after the monstrosity of S3! You go down some stupid road with your two main characters and just watch how quickly your viewers jump ship!

Don't destroy S4 like you did S3...and you're on your way already! GA isn't an addiction...we can very well live w/o it if it becomes as offensive as the person who doesn't shower for a week!

YUCK!

[Kellie]

I never thought I'd say these words but here goes:

Meredith is pathetic. Can Derek PLEASE be with someone new?

I'm over Mer/Der, so over. She's unbearable.