Debora Cahn on "Love/Addiction"...

Addiction.  Who doesn’t love a good addiction?  I know I do.  You try something.  You like it.  You try it again.  You build a little ritual around it, make it a special part of your day.  You tell time by it.  “Must be noon, cause I’m jonesing for another cup of my special English tea!”  or  “I know it’s morning cause I’m awake and ready for a hit of crystal meth!”

DON’T DO METH, KIDS.

See, here’s the thing:  anything can be addictive.  And it’s not always easy to spot when something slips down that slippery slope from experiment to habit to addiction.  Derek and Meredith thought they’d ended it.  Cold turkey.  White knuckle.  Over.  So over.  Well, it wasn’t totally over.  There was a bit of a hang-over.  A little no-strings-attached sex.  Just for old times sake.  No harm, no foul.  But the thing is, there is harm.  Derek doesn’t like it.  He wants to talk.  He wants to sleep over.  He wants lunch, with the woman he loved, or loves, or has some impossible to define love related interaction with.  He’s settling for just the sex, cause that’s all she’s willing to indulge.  But that’s only hurting him.  It’s just enough of the drug to keep him hooked.  Never enough to satisfy him, only enough to make him want more.  And he knows.  He knows he’s got a problem, but he can’t walk away.

Love.  It’s like crystal meth. 

DON’T DO METH.

Even Callie’s strung out.  Callie, who always seemed stronger than the rest of them.  More together.  Less at the mercy of her emotions.  Sure, George’s on-again, off-again interest, his loosey goosey commitment made her kind of nuts, but she always seemed like she was handling it.  Now she’s walking around the hospital like a crazy person.  Falling down on the job, which she NEVER does.  Unable to concentrate on anything other than the sneaking suspicion that her husband’s having an affair.  She knows it, in her heart she can’t deny it.  But she can’t face it either.  She’s in a marriage that’s destroying her, and her husband’s about to come clean and maybe put them both out of their misery, but she can’t let him do it.  She can’t let him say it.  She’d rather be a strung out junkie than deal with the pain of withdrawal.

That’s a pretty serious drug.

BUT NOT AS SERIOUS AS CRYSTAL METH, WHICH YOU REALLY SHOULDN’T DO.

I watched this documentary on crystal meth.  The fabulous Stacy McKee saw this documentary called “Montana Meth” right when we were starting to put together this story, and she told me to watch it, and EEEEW.  Meth is a nasty drug, and it makes you do nasty, gnarly things, like trade sex with people who don’t shower for a hit that doesn’t even make you feel good, and all sorts of other things that I don’t even want to get into.  I watched it with my 15 year-old niece, figured I’d do a little, “I’m your cool aunt and I’ll show you this documentary on meth and scare you away from drugs” and I’m a little worried that I traumatized her for life.  Meth is foul.  Don’t do meth.

And don’t get into relationships with people who can’t handle them.  Don’t you just want to shake Derek and Callie?  Don’t you want to shake them and say, “These people keep telling you they can’t give you what you want – believe them!”  But shaking them wouldn’t help.  Because they’re addicted.  They can’t walk away even when they want to. 

Maybe it’s okay.  Maybe you can’t avoid addiction, all you can do is pick your poison.  Special English tea is better than meth, and love’s better than special English tea.  It may put you through the ringer sometimes, but when it’s good, it’s really really good.  Worth coming back to, time and time again.  Worth getting hooked on.

Comments

[Sadie]

Am I the first??? wooooo!

[ann]

pease explain what is the addiction of meredith

[Annie]

So...i take it that you guys dont want us to use meth...EVER! =)

[jill in lafayette]

LOVED LOVED LOVED the scene with Bailey & Alex where she chewed him a new one and then thanked each other. CLASSIC.

Good job on this episode. I think we're on a good start for this season. I still think Mere needs something "good" in her life!

[ali]

Thanks for an amzing episode! Much though I loved season 3, I felt something missing from last season. I am so excited that it looks like you guys have gotten back to season 1 and 2 calibar episodes: great medical cases and charector arcs that, rather than verging on ridiclous, are so intriguing and evict a bit more sympathy. I care about these charectors more than ever (okay, sometimes maybe a little too much), and can't wait to see where they're going next :)

[TheCoffee]

Well, nice episode. i liked the meth story, although i don't do drugs and never would (yeah, and i've seen enough of those "stay away from drugs" films... but still, good thing for those who haven't)

And the rest (especially merder, or course) was exciting in that TBC way that will keep me excited for the next few days.. yay (;

[Emily]

urm... yeah, although i loved it all as i was watching it, i kinda guessed everything that would happen... SURPRISE ME!
loved dereks comment about mark & nurses.. glad to know that is true and not just in my imaginary/extended greys world.

[Melissa]

Still not a fan of George and Izzie, but at least he is showing some sense and willing to tell Callie the truth. Conversely, a little part of me even appreciated Izzie's sensitivity towards the incredibly bad day that Callie was having when she told George to wait on telling Callie about them.

So, as it comes to Gizzie, my stone cold heart thawed just a little bit.

As for Meredith and Derek, I'm not sure how I feel about their relationship being limited to sex and mockery. However, it isn't as if Meredith didn't tell Derek exactly how much she was ready to give.

As usual, my favorite characters were and will remain, Bailey, Alex, and Cristina. I'm not sure what Alex has been through in the past that he knows what meth smells like on a person, but I hope the writers will continue to develop his character a little more.

[fischfutter3]

loved the episode...poor derek! meredith just doesn`t know what she`s doing to him...

[Amber]

Okay, before I comment on the episode (which by the way, I loved) I MUST say that the "Montana Meth" documentary was good. But, I also must say that it is NOT representative of all of Montana. I live in Montana and LOVE this state.

While Montana does have a huge Meth problem, we're working on it....so please, please, PLEASE don't think Montana is filled with meth-heads running all over the place!

With that said, I wanted to congratulate the Grey's writers on a great first two episode's of season four! Addiction is a tricky thing, especially when it involves already broken people. I should know a little thing or two about addiction, as my addiction is this show. I am in it for the long haul...just like McDreamy is in it for the long haul with Mere.

I hope and pray and desire with all my heart that Mere will work on her "issues" this season so that McDreamy doesn't slip right through her hands. Mere needs to realize that there are people(men--or more specifically--a man)out there that can love her, take care of her and be there for her, and NOT hurt her.

I feel for Mere. Mere is the fictional me. If Mere was a real person, Mere and I would be best friends (no, soulmates), get blitzed together and make irresponsible choices together. BUT, if I were lucky enough to be Mere's friend, I would also take her to task...slap her across the face and make her realize what she's doing exactly.

I plead of you, please make Cristina a stronger and better friend, so that she can wake Mere up from the nightmare that she's been living her whole life! Where is the friendship accountability? Mere needs someone to give her a good reality check. The best person to do that is Cristina, but I fear she is in no position to do anything like that this season. So, please have someone give Mere a quick kick in the butt!

I look forward to the "reincarnation of self" that Mere will experience this season! She deserves to be happy, as does McDreamy...so let's get it done already!

[Lois]

Wow. I didn't see the similarities between Callie and Derek's situation with the addiction thing. I got Derek's because I'm hardcore MerDer so it was plainly obvious to me that Derek is addicted to Mer any way he can possibly get her and he can't let go because it would destroy him. But I've been so anti-CaGe for some time that I didn't see Callie being addicted to George and not being able to let him go even though she knows it's not working. Wow.

CaGe needs to end. Or actually let the "Ca"llie and the "Ge"orge out of their "CaGe". See what I came up with there. Never would be a good relationship when the ship names CaGe.

Mer needs to get woken up. I know she has the whole issues because of her dad and her mum and she can't let Derek love her because she has major abandonment issues. But maybe Lexie can somehow help her with that. Lexie is in a way the anti-meredith. And yet she is similar to Meredith. Lexie also has some of the Dark&Twisty. So maybe that can kinda help Mer become human-like and have a proper grown up relationship with the perfect man who she could love if she let herself.

Dammit.

Why do I ramble so much?

[Tina]

Well, I'm hooked on Grey's. I can't help it...it's MY addiction! I'm SO looking forward to this season. I can't miss it! I absolutely LOVE George and Izzie, but I know it's going to be a rough one. I hope they last. Also, I hate that Callie gets hurt. I hope you find a strong counterpart for her. She's a FABULOUS character! I'm waiting and watching...

Cutting to the chase here:

Lauren S. ...if she's playing Derek's new loveydovey interest...I'm joining Dwight over at Dunder Mifflin Thursday nights. Yup.

[Lindsay]

Ok, enough is enough. Meredith and Derek - in order to be viable, need to be together. We've seen him walk away from her (twice) and her walk away from him. Can we stop going around and around? There are a lot of emotional issues that they can work through as a couple that will make for ridiculously wonderful drama - that they deal with TOGETHER.

[Aimee]

:) Such a great episode.... I'm completely hooked on this series again!

[Madison]

George/Izzie needs to just end. It's not cute. It's not okay. It's gross and horrific and what it's doing to all three of the main players is going to leave them without redemption.

Callie's not strung out, Debora. She believed in her marriage. She believed in George's proposal and in HIM. That doesn't make her a junky. That makes her a fool and it makes George and Izzie the addicts.

I took the leap of faith that Shonda asked me to take and I'm so over it. This is not the show that I fell in love with.

[Sabrina77]

So after everything Meredith and Derek have been through. After everything the fans have been through rooting for this couple, the writers have likened them to nothing more then an illegal narcotic ? I mean seriously ?

[Kate]

Derek is not honorable. No matter how many times you let other characters say he is. I mean

Denny: Do you know what kind of miracle it is that Derek is who he is? Do you know how rare it is that someone like him even exists?

Addison: I have a great guy, I don't have a baby, because I'm focusing on my career.

Meredith: Derek is the world most perfect man?

Seriously?

[Daniel K]

Please, for the love of god, put Callie out of her misery sometime soon. When she showed up I thought she was cool, maybe not right for George, but smart enough to walk away when it wasn't going well. I thought she was strong, and through being around her, I thought she'd toughen George up, get him ready to go after what he really wanted, and walk away when it was clear that she was the rebound girl. Because, to all of us on the outside, that's what she was. She picked up the pieces after Meredeth messed him up, and would hopefully ensure that it wouldn't happen again, but somewhere down the line, as said above, she got addicted and became this insecure woman who not only wouldn't let go or walk away, but who would sink her talons in so deep that she would marry him in a questionable emotional state, and use pregnancy as a threat and a way to keep her marriage together.

Her husband is in love with another woman, one who gets him so much more than she ever could. After all, don't we all want our partner to be our best friend? Please, just let these two go their separate ways, so they can both move on to much, much bigger and better things.

[Lexie]

Thanks for a great show. As always, there is something in Grey's that relates to my own life (thank God its not that I am a meth addict! Just the loving the wrong person stuff!) - I think that may be true for most of us loyal viewers. We're addicted!

[Seriously?]

We get invested in a couple for over three seasons so you can tell us their love is like crystal meth? Are you kidding me? And no, I don’t want to shake Derek, I want to shake some members of the writing staff and ask them what the hell are you thinking?
I am so done, unlike you characters; I am fully capable of kicking the addiction I had with this show.

[Becky]

I have to say that I'm a bit disappointed in this season. I am a huge Grey's fan...I've been with you from the very beginning, and have stuck up for the show and writing when others were putting it down last year. But this season has been a let down. I can't get over the gaps that Burke and Shephard have left behind. The whole Izzy/George/Callie thing...I love its potential, but it never goes anywhere! When will we get more of Karev? He's been one we haven't had a clear view of yet...he's so rich...there's a great story there...TELL IT!!!! Mer/Der are great...I love that Der knows Mer so well and that he recognizes that he can't walk away from her, no matter how unhealthy it may be. That is fantastic writing - very real life! Unfortunately, Mer/Der aren't enough for me. I keep telling myself that I've only seen two episodes, that the season is young, that things have to get better and the connection I've felt with Grey's since day one has to return, but there's that seed of doubt that's found it's way in. Please don't give it any water to grow!

[Kelly]

Shonda...I have a problem. Like you, I am a huge Mer/Der fan. However, I am getting tired of watching Mer with all of her issues. Please Heal the poor girl!!! We have now watched several episodes of self destructive, Meredith. It's time!!! Time for her to heal, time for her to communicate, and time for her to express her love again to Derek. You know, even damaged people..can be happy. We love them..now keep them happy, and together forever. It's time !!

[Rachel]

I loved the humor of this episode.

I hated the George and Izzie of it all, however. Why does the homewrecker seemed to be rewarded at every turn? Izzie has a deep, emotional problem that should be addressed before she moves on with anyone and whoever does get saddled with her shouldn't already be married.

I don't buy it. Denny JUST died. She can't already be in love again.

And Callie's the addict? Hello? You wrote this episode and you don't realize that George and Izzie are the ones addicted to each other? Please.

I would happily turn the channel if I wasn't so invested in Cristina.

[Roberta]

People should not feel sorry for Derek. Come on! He sleeps with Meredith and gets her to fall in love with him, even telling her if you get to know me, you will love me, and never tells her he is married. Then, Addison shows up and Meredith makes this amazing speech asking him to choose her (which if he had maybe they would be in a better place now) and he doesn't. Then, he gets jealous when she is moving on and sleeps with her making them both feel like horrible cheaters (all over again). Next, he tells her he chose wrong and wants her, but then walks away. Then, they get together and as she starts sinking, literally, he treats her like an albatross around his neck and flirts with McBar slut, who turns out to be her half sister. He really has been quite a jerk when you take a closer look. She has never lied to him, betrayed him -- nothing, and he has taken her for a total roller coaster ride. He truly is only McDreamy in his looks, but other than that he is a selfish, self-absorbed jerk. And he's been this huge jerk even knowing all Meredith has had to deal with and overcome. I think she is too good, way too good, for him.