Shonda Rhimes on Burning Down The House...

Original airdate: 5/17/07

So the third season began with Meredith helping Izzie remove her prom dress and ended with Meredith helping Cristina get out of her wedding gown.  I don’t know if you’ve noticed but…I like a little symmetry.

This season was important to me.  It wasn’t as light as Season Two and for good reason – our characters were in a darker place.  I needed to put Meredith’s mother to rest, Izzie’s grief to rest, and the race for Chief to rest.  George needed to grow up on a monumental level and then come full circle to where he was when we first met him in the pilot.  Meredith had to finally try to face the fact that she’s damaged when it comes to relationships.  I wanted to put Bailey on the path of questioning her standing as The Chosen One.   Both Burke and Derek needed to hit a relationship wall, each in their own ways.  And then there’s Cristina…

Oh, the Cristina of it all.  What this season is about most of all – for all of our women – is  the idea of “having it all” is a myth.  And that was true for Cristina more than anyone.  Slowly, over the course of the season, we’ve watched as hard-nosed Yang sliced off little pieces of herself to accommodate Burke.  From helping Burke hide his tremor to Colin Marlowe telling her she’s not the woman he knew to prepping for the wedding, she slowly morphs from kickass surgeon-girl into a woman we don’t quite recognize in that wedding dress with penciled eyebrows.   I wanted you to have the feeling in the finale that she’s become this painted doll – beautiful, everyone’s fantasy bride, but a painted doll all the same.  No longer our Cristina.  There’s that wonderful moment where she begs Bailey to let her cut because a part of her knows she’s becoming someone she doesn’t recognize.  And then, just as she’s lost almost all of herself standing there in that gown ready to walk down the aisle, Burke is telling her that he can’t marry her.  Because even Burke realizes that this Cristina is not his Cristina.   It’s devastating.  I hope you noticed that in the beginning of the episode Cristina talks about a heart as a purely anatomical thing (“it pumps blood”) and then Burke’s vows are all about the heart as an emotional thing (“I promise to lay my heart in the palm of your hands”) and it’s so sad to realize that they have completely opposing views of the world.   I feel for Burke and you should too because he knows that, in a way, by leading, pushing, cajoling her down this path to being together, he’s done this to her – he’s changed her.  That the only way to save her from disappearing completely is to set her free.  And then in that wonderfully painful moment (how much do we love Sandra Oh and her incredible talent?) in the apartment, Cristina turns to Meredith and says “He’s gone.  I’m free.  Damn it.”  And it’s so nuanced and so layered and so tragic because she’s relieved and terrified and heartbroken and suffocated all at once.  Watching her journey back from this is going to be amazing next season.

George and Izzie and Callie:  you all have your opinions, very strong opinions, on how you feel about this love triangle.  I’m glad – strong opinions mean you care what happens.  In the finale, Izzie’s declaring herself and Callie’s fighting for her rightful territory.  That moment when Callie casually lets Izzie know that she’s not only been named Izzie’s boss but that she and George are trying to have a baby is very interesting.  Callie’s saying “don’t mess with me” in the only way she knows how.  About the baby thing – for the record, I am very strongly against anyone trying to have a baby to save a relationship.  It’s crazy because it never works and I highly recommend you don’t do it.  Plus it goes against every feminist bone in my body.  But it is also human to delude yourself into believing that you’re not having a baby to save your relationship, that instead having a baby is a way of taking your relationship to the next level.  And Callie gives that great speech about her hormones and her body.  I’ve been there and I know that it is real, this sudden baby rush that happens and, if you are firmly into your career, it freaks you out.  Callie’s just being as honest as she knows how to be with George.  Because she can’t bring up Izzie again – not when the last time she brought it up, George called Izzie a supermodel thereby suggesting that Callie was, well…not.

George is interesting is this episode.  Did you notice that after he looks at his test scores, his entire demeanor changes?  How he’s vulnerable in a way that we haven’t seen in a long time?   My favorite moments for him are in that scene with Bailey where he says he can’t repeat his intern year over again.  He just can’t.  And then when that girl in the locker room (Lexie Grey!  Lexie Grey!) asks if he has any advice, he says simply “No.”  I love that.  Because he doesn’t have any answers.  He thought he did and then he fails his intern exam and Izzie has to go and tell him she’s in love with him.  He has no idea what the future holds.  His whole future is one big question.

Alex and Ava.  My heart beats for them.  How amazing was Ava in those scenes?  And Alex…I’ve said before that Alex is Meredith’s mirror and I’m saying it again.  He’s too screwed up to give Ava a reason to stay because he doesn’t think he’s good enough.   And it’s no coincidence that this scene comes right before the MerDer scene where Derek is asking her, all pained and raw, to put him out of his misery and Meredith is WAY too screwed up to give him an answer.  They’re damaged people, Alex and Meredith.

What I love is that for Meredith, Cristina getting married has become this incredibly important thing – this sign – that maybe she and Derek can make it through.  That she can be healthy enough to let herself have this, have him.  She keeps saying to Cristina “you can do this” and she needs it to be true.  She needs it desperately.  Meredith, the girl with no family model for how a relationship works, looks to her best friend. So when Burke shuts the whole thing down, Meredith is almost as devastated as Cristina.  She does that long walk down the aisle, gets up in front of the wedding guests and tells them it’s over.  And she doesn’t just mean the wedding.  She means everything she hoped could be true.  She means the fairy tale.  She means the MerDer of it all.  It’s over.  It’s so over.  Because she no longer believes.

Bailey’s got a lot to contend with next year.  She thought she was going to be Chief Resident – she really believed it.  After all, the Chief spent the season practically anointing her with Chief Resident oil. But he also spent the season warning her.  Because from his own life, he knows what it is to get so caught up in a job that you neglect your family.  And he wouldn’t wish that on anyone.  That is a lesson Bailey’s not ready to learn – the fact that there may be a choice between family and career isn’t something this generation of women has been raised to believe.  It’s not something I’m ready to believe.  But, like I said, what the women start to see this season is that maybe they may not necessarily be able to have it all.  Because maybe having it all has a price.  Is it fair that Bailey has to pay this price?  Absolutely not.  But isn’t it ironic that Bailey’s got the strong family and (in her mind) a shaky career while Callie’s got the solid career and the shaky family life?

The Chief.  Aah, my Chief.  I love his full circle journey this season.  His wife starts out leaving him and now she’s come back.  And Derek hands him back the Chief job.  Which opens all sorts of possibilities.  Because if he’s going to do it all over again, how will he do it differently?  Is it possible for him to have it all?  Will he get Adele back if he chooses to stay Chief?  I love the wonderful moments with his wife, when they’ve lost the baby and he’s there for her.   For me, in the face of the supposed fairy tale playing out with Burke and Cristina, this is what real love is.  After years of mistakes and pain and problems, real love is two people standing together, choosing to be together, despite all that has gone wrong.  It is very grown-up, the Chief and Adele of it all. 

Derek.  Poor Derek.  He’s done his best to pull Meredith forward.  He’s done his best to be in this relationship and help her be in it too.  He has tried to be the best man.  But it wasn’t enough.  He can’t save her.  And so in that last moment, when he’s sitting with the Chief, and he tells the Chief that he can’t take the job, it is about so much more than just the job.  It is about his belief in himself.  I adore the moment in the locker room when he tells Mer that she’s the love of his life.  Mainly because Patrick says things like that better than anyone I’ve ever seen.  But also because he’s desperately trying to get through to her.  And when he says that he can’t leave her, he won’t leave her, because he can’t – it’s sad.  And she looks at him and just sort of…freaks out and and he pleads with that one word “Meredith”…it’s all so…the way he puts his head back as they leave the locker room…He can’t be more of a best man.  Where he’s going next season is going to be interesting to watch.

Last but not least are Addison and Mark.  We don’t see a lot of them in this episode.  And for good reason.  Their stories were done, finished, earlier.  For Addison, there’s a brand new future ahead over at Private Practice (Wednesday nights at 9 pm!).  For Mark, he starts fresh over at Grey’s next year.  Without Addison.  He’ll get to stand on his own and I think you’ll enjoy seeing it.

So that’s it.  That was our season.  I did my level best to burn it all down this season, to burn it to the ground so that we can have a place to build from next season.  Burning it down was hard.  But next season…oh, next season is all about the fun and the pain and the new beginnings.  Because our interns are going to become residents.  Because everyone is single again -- well, there is the little matter of Izzie and George and Callie…but still…

…the future is wide open, people.

Special thanks to Tony Phelan and Joan Rater for writing an excellent finale. And to Shoots With No Script for...well, shooting with a very long script.

Have a good summer.

Comments

[Jen]

Why is every couple breaking up except for George and Callie when they are the only ones who should be breaking up?!?!

Since it's a starting a new year, is there going to be another Dead Baby Bike Race?

[Brandi]

Wow, I do not know where to start…did she really break up with him? Seriously? Did she or was that the cliffhanger because I’m just not getting it? I guess I have to see her say it to his face that it is over for it to be real for me.

I’m hesitant to say it, but a tiny part of me wishes that Meredith would tell him it is over just to do to him what he did to her. I kinda like that Derek is in Meredith's Season 2 shoes. Maybe they need to break each other so that they can fix this in the end. But the bigger part of me not set on revenge wants Meredith to put herself out there and let it go right for her for once. You asked the audience to take a leap but maybe it is Meredith who needs to take that leap and see that she doesn't need Christina to get her happily ever after for her to believe in them again. Maybe she needs to leap and see that she can make her own happily ever after. I hope that is where this whole thing is going next season. I think everyone else has enough drama to make up for Meredith and Derek getting to be happy. Meredith especially needs happy right now. I’m kinda done with the whole Mer/Der angst fest. They need to be happy for once.

Okay enough of that, it was a good episode. It felt very weird and like everything was on the verge of something else but I think that was the whole point. They are all on the verge of something new. And do they go back to the beginning and try it all over or do they take the leap and go on to the next thing. I can’t wait for Season 4. I hope it is as good as I think it COULD be.

P.S. Lexie Grey has a lot of potential. Please keep her potential away from Derek! If Lexie and her potential even so much as touch Derek with a ten foot pole on fire, I’m done with this show. Give her to Mark (admit that that would be awesome). This is not the O.C. so leave the estranged sisters fighting over a guy to the soaps.

Breaking up Mer/Der - it's over for me as a viewer. And this is coming from someone who has supported you non-stop.

[Laura]

Thank you so so much for keeping George and Callie together! I love them and hate Gizzie!

[robin]

OH MY GOD SHONDA! How could you do this to me? How will I survive the summer? since the episode was over my heart is pounding (paging Dr. McDreamy)! My stomach is alltied in knots? What is going on? I feel like everyone's life on the show is coming crashing down! Help! I love these people. I read a spoiler that the woman in the bar was Mer's sister but I thought it was too outrageous to actually happen. I know see never to underestimate you- nothing is too much for you. Please give me some info on next season- unless you want me to have amiserable summer worrying about christina, Mer, George, Derek... I have enough problems without worrying about fictional characters! By the way loved this episode- as I do every, Love you- brilliant creator. Thanks for a great season and good luck with next- please give me some peace of mind in the season premiere- I know not going to happen this is Grey's. Love you more then you can imagine. Gotta go my breathing is not so good-HELP!

[gamaka]

great finale, I laughed, I cried!

[bonnie]

my heart is so incredibly sad. they can't just be in stasis like that for the summer. everyone's hearts are so sad. if i were to list the entire cast of characters on grey's anatomy, they would all be heartbroken.

my heart is sad, shonda.

[Angela T]

I hope you don't censor this. I could say a lot about the season finale, but I'll concentrate on the one issue that stands out.

The Alex story should not be about how damaged he is that he can't give Ava a reason to stay. It should be about yet another doctor having inappropriate feelings for a PATIENT. You know, I was fine when it felt like a brother/sister thing. You even had Alex say he treated Ava like his SISTER. What was the point of that? Let me tell you something. Doctors don't all fall for their patients. And, not just doctors in horrific relationships with other doctors. I wasn't thinking "poor Alex, why is he so damaged, what happened to him?" Maybe I would have been thinking that, but instead I can't believe you went there and made Alex into Izzie circa Denny. It wasn't inevitable. It didn't have to happen.

Despite what you did, I still love Alex. Please go back to ignoring him so that I don't stop loving Alex. You know early season 3? When Alex was supposedly not getting any stories? Only he was standing up for Bailey at the M&M and recounting boxing stories to unborn babies, and even putting his jacket around Izzie and leading her away from the hospital after she stood outside it all day? Those were great! The Ava thing could have been great if it had stayed with Alex becoming a more caring DOCTOR and even realizing he might have been overstepping his boundaries when he treated her like a SISTER. But, no, it had to become an inappropriate thing. And, to top it off, it had to be with a MARRIED patient. Hoping is too strong a word, but I truly would like to never see Elizabeth Reaser on the show again. Maybe by the time season 4 roles around, Alex will have shaken off what you did to him at the end of this season and will still have the greatness he had in the beginning.

Shonda, marriage is not evil and wrong by definition. Stop acting like all marriages are meant to be broken.

I'm sure others will take care of the other stories.

[AmandaCB]

Seriously???? SERIOUSLY???? You are leaving me with that for the entire summer?? OMG I can't even begin to stop and count how many times I *gasped* during this finale! And I cried. And I laughed. And everything seemed to be happening at once....oh, and I kept saying "oh no, oh no, don't do that, oh no!". Argh. Shonda, I am shocked. You completely burned me down, ground level momma! To the ground! Whew...it's been an intense ride this season, and as Desi would say, "You'ze got sum essplaining to do, Lucy!!" Sooo much to explain, so many questions unanswered. I guess the biggest is....NOW what?? Love you and your team so so so much Shonda. Anxiously awaiting the next season!

[devastated]

wait so, um, they did? break up? meredith and derek, they broke up. i am speechless.

[Tamika]

And seriously if you have derek and lexie hook up, i really will have lost all faith in you! And you're ability as a writer!!

Seriously all the actors on this show deserve better than what you're giving them!

[Dr Izzie]

Shonda...I`ve followed through thick and thin but how can I say this? I`m a bit disappointed in everything that has happened since the ferry epis...

I don`t know what happened but I hope you bring back GA...not that this season was bad or anything but it has left me with an aftertaste in my mouth that just doesn`t feel right if you know what I mean

I`ll be there at the beginning of season 4 but if it continues like this, I don`t know if I`ll be able to watch season 4 and it breaks my heart!!!

Anyhow have a nice summer and the aftertaste will probably be gone in the fall when I see my favorite interns (oops! residents) come back on screen!

Have a nice summer!!!

[McDark&Twisty]

I HATE YOU.

Okay, I take that back. I won't be so harsh since I'm sure many others will be.

But I HATE WHAT YOU'RE DOING.

What I just saw wasn't you asking us to lie back down and leap with you. When I read that, I was all for leaping. A small leap, okay, a three story leap, why the hell not. But what I just saw was you asking us to leap off the Empire State building with you, and NOBODY wants to do that, or will do that. Except for maybe everyone at Seattle Grace hospital.

[I'mbreathing]

Oh my gosh. That was amazing. Literally, I don't think I can wait all summer.

p.s. However, I think Meredith and Derek should just, you know, stay together and stuff. It took them like half way through season three to finally be together, and its over already?!? I can't take it.

[Matthew Rushing]

Derek did it; he said what he needed to say. Meredith is the love of his life! He wants her to need him. He wants her to let him be in her life like she has let her friends in. He wants to be there for her for better or for worse. He would never cheat on her. The problem, Meredith does not get it yet. She dose not understand how to have a healthy relationship. She has kept him on a relationship yo-yo and he is still in. That is love. All she has to do is chose him. He said to her what she said to him in the scrub room, when she told him to love her and pick her. I think that she will pick him. Shonda said that she does not drown people for no reason. Meredith realized then that she could not just have breaths of Derek; she had to have all of him. She will chose him! It is the only thing that makes sense. How could you say no to Derek after you really thought about what he said?
Burke and Cristina. Burke did the hard thing and I do not know if it was the right thing. Cristina seemed to be really upset about the newfound freedom. She does love Burke and wants to be with him. I do not think that they are done. I think that they are going to work it out. Burke will learn to love Cristina, the real Cristina.
George is not leaving. I think that he will take a page from Izzie’s book and do what it takes to come back. He and Callie are not going to be having a baby. They are going to end next year, because Callie wants a person that wants her. George is Izzie’s now. He loves her. Callie has always been ahead of George in feelings and now she is not anywhere close to him. They are worlds apart. George just has to hunker down and plow through the next year. He will make it.
Alex’s story was sad. Not really a lot to say, but I cannot wait to see him grow.
Richard is going to stay and be the chief. He has too. He is the man and there is no one to take his place.
This sets us up for a great year next year. Shonda will not let us down. I trust her. Thank you all for an amazing season, I will be back next season for the best show on TV.!

[exfan]

If George leaves, so do I.

[Dustin]

Wow...dont know what to say. Next season better be good.

[tracy]

first comment? seriously? loved it! can't wait for fall!!!

[bonnie]

my heart is so sad. you can't leave them all in such horrible heartbreak all summer like that... if i were to list every character of grey's anatomy, they would be heartbroken right now.

my heart is sad, shonda.

[McDark&Twisty]

"Have a good summer"????

I- I don't even know what to think about that. I'm speechless.

But, especially at the end but throughout the whole episode, I cried. But it wasn't the good, emotional cry you get when you see something sad. It wasn't like the bomb episode cry, or Meredith's mom dying cry. It was a loud, gasping, more-noise-less-tears cry. That's not the kind of cry you want someone watching your show to have.

[Melissa]

Shonda,

In Jan of 2006 I sat in front of my tv scanning the channels, not expecting anything, looking aimlessly to pass the time. Then I came upon Grey’s Anatomy. You see I had heard about it, heard it was brilliant and so I decided to give it a try…and instantly…in one hour I fell in love, and I am not someone who falls in love with a tv show, but your’s I did…and I fell fast.

It captivated me, enthralled me, and intrigued me. I fell in love with the characters, their friendship, their struggles, their relationships. And in one week I found every episode up to that point so I could catch up before the next one aired. It made me smile, made me laugh, made me cry, but it always worked out. And in the end I always was left waiting for the next episode. For an hour of my life, each week, I turned on the TV and I was given a reason to hope.

Then May 17, 2007 came…and with in one hour and fifteen minutes my hope was shattered, torn apart. I was left feeling as though my heart had been ripped out and stomped on…

You see, along with falling in love with your tv show and characters I fell in love particularly with Meredith and Derek, though not together at the time they completely sucked me in. I felt their love, their pain, their struggle, and instantly I found myself pulling for them. I waited for them for the through out season two and as we entered into season three I waited for the payoff. The payoff that still hasn’t come…

And now as a Meredith and Derek fan I feel cheated. I feel thrown out in the cold, watching and waiting diligently for something. Perhaps some love, at least a few tender moments. I even waited for some honest problems, not plot devices and last minute thrown together writing. I waited for some screen time for the main couple of the show. I trusted you. I trusted you were leading somewhere greater. I trusted in the end it would be worth it, and tonight that trust died. I realized that the Grey’s I feel in love with was no longer on my TV screen. I have no more in me…nothing left to give…for you left us nothing to go on…nothing to look forward to…to watch season four for…you left us no hope…

I may be the only fan out there feeling this way, but I do not believe that is the case. I believe there are plenty more like me. Considering the ratings clearly show the decline. Last year the episode before the finale brought in well over 20 million, yet last weeks episode brought in 19 million. That should tell you something. So I hope for you and for them that you take the summer and think, think of your fans that made your show the success it is and what they want for a change. And for them, the ones that stick around, I hope you fix it and you bring Grey’s back…

For me though, I am not sure its a leap I am willing to take. My faith may have just been stomped on for the last time. Tonight, that episode, really may have been one time too many. It hurts me to say that. It left me in tears tonight, and actually not for any couple. I was left crying for the loss of the real Grey’s I feel in love with. If I don't see you in season four, I will forever live in the brilliance you created for two seasons. I guess I can Thank you for that.

Melissa

[Kimberly]

Shonda,
Thanks for the different perspective. It nice to know whats going on in the characters heads. When you say everyone is single again...does that include Meredith and Derek?

[brittany]

i'm extremely sad.. i have to say that i hated this finale until i read your blog shonda.. i'm still not happy, but i think that's because i'm so invested in this show. i'm totally commited.. thanks for a wonderful three seasons.. can't wait for number four!

[Theresa]

Ahhh, reality. Good episode. Bathed in pain but seemed to reflect more reality in that pain.
All the characters will be in such pain for the summer- looking forward to episode 1 Season 4!

I am beyond sad about Meredith and Derek.