Mark Wilding on "Desire"

Original airdate: 4-26-07

Desire.  It can wreck your life.  It can be, as Izzie rightly says, your Penis Fish.  It can crawl up inside you and… yeah, you pretty much know the rest… So that’s what I’m gonna talk about in this blog.  Desire and the metaphor we came up with to represent it.  The Candiru.  Or Penis Fish.  I won’t call it a Candiru.  I’ll call it a Penis Fish because that’s a lot funnier to say than Candiru.  I’m not sure if Penis Fish should be capitalized, but if you had one in you, you’d probably think it’d be worth capitalizing.  In fact, ALL the letters in it probably deserve to be capitalized.  PENIS FISH.  However, I don’t want to be accused of sensationalism so we’ll just keep it at Penis Fish.

First some background.  My personal desire has been to do this story for a long time.  In fact, it’s been the whole writing staff’s desire.  We actually had the story in a couple of previous scripts but it never quite worked out.  It either didn’t work with the theme of the episode or we’d just done a show with someone having penis troubles and we didn’t want to do penis overload, as it were. 

Second, the Penis Fish is a real thing.  It’s more of a parasite than a fish.  It likes to swim up the little eddies created by a fish’s gills.  Then it stops and latches on to the insides of the unsuspecting fish.  The unsuspecting, unlucky fish.  And then it, well… feeds.  Yeah.  Very yucchy.  It’s found in South America.  However, unlike, say, telenovellas, it’s not coming to America anytime soon.  You will not find it at your local swimming hole or the YMCA.  It’s strictly Amazon.  But it does exist.  Look hard enough on the Internet and you’ll find a picture or two of the thing.  It’s thin enough to get in your urine stream, slippery enough to avoid capture and agile enough to work its way inside you.  Where it gorges on your blood or tissue.  And gets bigger.  So when the Chief pulled it out at the end, that’s about what it really looks like.  Hey, we do our research.  The Discovery Channel even has some web site where they do a re-enactment of the thing swimming into some poor guy.  Even that fake re-enactment gives you the willies.  At least I hope it’s fake.

So George and Izzie make the mistake of thinking they can somehow quench their desire.  That by ignoring it and saying it’s not there, they can simply move on.  Be best buddies again.  It’s not that nothing happened.  Something did.  But they think they’re strong enough and wise enough to deal with it.  It was a one time thing.  A simple mistake that can be rectified by their own determination to put it behind them. The trouble is… their desire keeps getting in the way.  And that’s why George has hit upon a new way to deal with it.  Go West, young man.  In this case…Mercy West.

It’s not just George and Izzie that suffer from this affliction.  All our couples in this episode suffer with some form of metaphorical Penis Fish – a desire that’s hooked into you and won’t let go.  Look at Derek and Meredith.  They got what they desired.  Each other.  But once you get what you want, is it really what you want?  Because, unfortunately, love isn’t just about desire. At some point it’s about other stuff, too.  Getting through the day to day.  Putting up with your partner’s snoring.  Wondering if they have, well, some kind of death wish… 

Those things tend to complicate relationships.  Eat away at them.  Make you wonder if you’re getting out of it what you put in.  How many problems can you take before the taking gets too hard?  Derek tells Meredith he doesn’t know if he can keep breathing for her.  It’s not just costing him the chiefship, it’s also…wearing him out.  She’s his Penis Fish.  Does he want to get rid of his Penis Fish?  That’s impossible, right?  It’s Meredith and Derek.  It’s just a bump in the road.  Or is it?  Well, all I can say for now is stay tuned…

Addison and Alex have been desiring each other for what seems like forever.  And we finally pay it off with a tryst in the on-call room.  How about that?  THEY FINALLY DID IT (now that deserves all capital letters).  We’ve never done a tally of the various places where our people have done it in the hospital.  I have to think the on-call room leads the way, with storage closet a close second.  But Alex clearly has major issues with girls who like him.  So he detaches himself pretty quickly from any possible entanglement.  He won’t let Addison be his Penis Fish.
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And finally Burke and Cristina.  Burke wants his relationship with Cristina to work.  He wants her to choose that wedding cake.  We know what that cake means to him when he sits down with Izzie in the conference room at the end of the episode.  This cake.  For this day.  With this woman.  And in the end, Cristina does choose a cake.  The red one.  The red velvet.  And Burke has hope again.  He’s wanted this wedding all along.  And he’s thinking, hell, maybe now she’s finally on board.  Maybe she finally wants this thing just as much as he does.  Maybe, just maybe, they’re finally heading in the right direction.  The question, of course, is does Cristina feel that way?  She loves the guy enough to have made little compromises along the way (see Stacy’s great episode last week).  But is this whole wedding thing her Penis Fish?

Okay, even though I said this blog would just be about desire and the Penis Fish, I lied.  Only because I really liked the scene at the end with Bailey and the Chief.  Where he’s leaving for the night and he runs into her filling in surgeries on the OR board for the next day.  And he’s told her earlier in the day that she has to delegate and she just can’t.  SHE CAN’T.  It’s not in her.  And, truthfully, it’s not in him either.  The question is, will Bailey suffer for that?

The answers to that question and a lot more will be coming up in the next three weeks.  I promise, it’s going to be a GREAT ride.  Next week’s our two hour episode and it’s moving and funny and all things Grey’s Anatomy.  And that’s not even the finale.  In the meantime, if you find yourself in the middle of the Amazon and you have to take a pee, stifle whatever desire you have to go in the river… and just find a nice thicket of trees or a large bush.  And that way, you can avoid being what no one desires – being another odd medical story on the Discovery Channel.   

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Comments

[Jen]

Good episode! I am sure there are going to be people who are unhappy with Derek and Meredith at the end of the show, but I think it was very necessary. I used to be a huge Mer/Der fan and couldn't wait for them to get back together, but this season Meredith's character has turned obnoxious. Especially in this episode where she was trying to be all cute, but was annoying with her constant updates to Derek. She hasn't been a strong, independent woman this season- traits I think are required to be a successful surgeon (Bailey, Cristina). She also doesn't seem good enough for Derek anymore. She is too needy and the way he told her he doesn't know if he can or wants to breathe for her - is an excellent way to put it. I would have thought the two of them would have had great chemistry, but Meredith's character seems to have changed too much. I wouldn't be unhappy if their relationship worked, but somehing needs to change with Meredith so that can happen.

[Idahobec]

BUMP IN THE ROAD!?!?!?!?!?
I really really really hope that is all it is! Why did she not tell Der that he was the reason she came back. He needs to know it was because of him- she chose him. Please let it just be a bump in the road.
Wow-I can't believe Mcsteamy was so nice to Addi. He loves her doesn't he. I am glad Mer told him to act like an adult.
I am so glad Cristina picked the right cake- but did she pick it on her own or did Izzy clue her in?
I can hardley wait for next week. Thanks for an eppi that I really enjoyed up until the end when I started to hate it!
p.s I am really hungry for some cake after watching that.

[marie]

PS:
PENIS FISH

[Jess]

ARGHHHHHHH great episode seriously fantastic except for the last ten minutes. I know Kate Walsh is leaving for the spinoff I have come to terms with this but what you did with her and Alex was unforgivable. I know you need to end their relationship and the "desire" with the on call room wall sex but two things 1. We needed to see it prom sex style. It left us unfulfilled. Then you need to know that it's better you ignored them completely than to do what you did with Alex calling Addison not his girlfriend. First of all that's not Alex anymore, second of all what Addison suggested isn't really Addison. I know you're the writer and all and you know the characters best but unless you have plans to resolve this maybe say with a more amicable split the show's stock has just plummented and reading the boards from high profile fansites, they agree with me. Please don't end it like this leaving us with nothing more than bad bad character work and an easy out.

[Laura]

I loved the Penis Fish scene with George and Izzie. "You don't have a penis." LOL!

You managed to give a heavy scene a cute moment, good job. George better not be leaving!! If anyone should leave, it's Callie. I love her, but if she loves George she should want him to be HAPPY, and we all know he's not happy without Izzie. Even Callie knows that he needs her.

[Guest]

Used to rush to this blog right after an episode a year back because I truly admired the writing back then. This last episode shoudl be commended for the reseach and the interesting fauna metaphor. There are so many postive and endearing things in all the stories and characters; it's a sad, sad day when controversy for the sake of controversy overshadows the beautiful things in a writer's work. Since last episode, the snappy oneliners and original witticisms are back (no more long un-GA monologues) .Must a true or great love like that of Meredith/Derek , Burke/Yang be compared to a parasite? That of Gizzie, yes, one-night drunken sex does not a true love make.
The Mark white lie is touching, but enough of the pylon lady! The interns' review night is vintage GA season 1, which we should have more because that's what made you so lovable. reminis

[Sara]

What was once my life is now becoming just another show I need to remember to watch. It's absolutely heartbreaking.

[Abigail]

What a way to kill the Addison/Alex couple! we (their fans) knew that there was going to be an end for them, but really? was that the only way? with Alex being that rude with Addison?

That wasnt the Alex that we have watched this season.

Im so sad, such a dissapointment.

[Libby]

Great Episode
I am really sad that Addison is leaving - I love her!! Please don't do a spin off- its too early, its too greedy and corporate! Addison is an important part of the show!! Don't do it!! Bring her back!!
And keep Derek and Mer -It would be nice to have relationships on TV that aren't filled with soap-opera drama, normal relationships -they can be just as much fun!!

[Ashley_Canadian_Eh?]

OMG the promo has me freaking out... and Mark was so sad and his face when he saw Addi and Alex made me cry. Derek chose bad timing to tell meredith but at the same time they needed to talk. THEY HAVE TO GET THROUGH THIS (that totally deserved all capitals) because like you said they are DEREK AND MEREDITH... Addi use to day they were Derek and Addi but they didnt last but there is a difference, they weren't meant to last but DEREK AND MEREDITH are.. they have to be.. they have to stay together, they have to give us hope. Alex says that Meredith makes him think that screwed up people have a chance, well DEREK AND MEREDITH make me think that rocky relationships will make it through all the insignificant bumps because LOVE CONQUERS ALL. Okay I think you got my point so I digress.... and will be patient and wait for the reason behind the slap next week which has me worried, along with other matters but i have some stuff to complete before bed because unfortunately how much i hate to fight it there is a 3-D world that doesnt let me think about just greys.

[Julie]

This episode was well-written and had it's funny moments, but I will be SO incredibly angry if George leaves. And, if Derek and Meredith break up, I will seriously SERIOUSLY hate this show. It's my favorite and I love it, but COME ON. ENOUGH with the TORTURE already!!! I seriously think you writers get a sick pleasure from torturing your most devoted fans...it makes me sad.

[lutine]

You were tough with us, merder shippers, this season... we barely had happy scenes between them (btw you wasted a lot of Ellen & Patrick chemistry)...actually we barely had scenes between them... i don't know what we did to deserve this after a whole season of waiting, but please don't break them up... give us something for the final... show us that we not kept faith in you for nothing... because right now, it's hard, and i'm sad, so sad... please, don't let us down

[EMMA!!]

OMG! THIS EPISODE WAS SO FREAKING DEPRESSING FOR MEREDITH AND DEREK IT MADE ME CRY! CRY! okay i'm done with the capital letters. but i mean seriously...come on...you don't wanna make your fans cry? or do you? do you? because that's just mean. cristina burke thing - very cute looking foward to the wedding. george and izzie - not creeping me out so much anymore which is weird because i thought it would creep me out forever - so that's good writing. but i do feel bad for callie still. umm let's see alex being an ass on purpose to addison - that sucked - but i still love alex forever. ava - sooo cool, seriously, love her. back to merder...that blew...i mean that really really really blew...make them work this out because if i have to spend another summer wondering if they're gonna be okay or not...that would be annoying, man. anyway i still love the show even though this episode made me CRY and i'm looking foward to next week very much! not so sure about the addison spin off but whatever you guys are the writers so i trust you. and thatcher slapping meredith? wo-ah. that's hardcore. i hope derek see's it and attacks him or something - that'd be awesome. yeah i'm really excited for next week. even though i'm gonna be spending the rest of whatever many hours in misery because you made my favorite couple have a big freaking problem this week...even though i knew that convo was coming anyways i didn't know it was coming this week...ahh...anyway i love your writing all of you!!

xoxoxox,
devoted fan

ps sorry i rambled on and on and repeated things..i'm sort of hyper right now after watching this episode!

[- R.]

I can't even begin to express my disappointment with what you've done with Alex/Addison. They're the only reason I have been putting up with this show, and you chose to end their relationship in the most horrid way.

See, this season, Alex underwent what writers usually refer to as character development. He changed, became a better doctor and a more decent human being. The way he told Addison off in that last scene? That was not the Alex we saw this season. That was the Alex from the first season. I understand that maybe he panicked, maybe he didn't think he could be the kind of guy Addison wanted, but the manner in which he chose communicate (if you can call it that) that to her was unbelievably cold. This is not the same Alex who told her he'd notice if she was gone. It was not the same Alex who pissed Mark off with a vanilla latte because Mark was an ass to her. That Alex would have told her that he doesn't think he's good enough for her, that she deserves better. It could have been as simple as that, but instead, you chose to break the hearts of all the Alex/Addison shippers out there. You reduced this relationship to nothing more than a walking ad for the spin-off.

We knew Alex and Addison weren't going to last because she was leaving, but after all they've been through this season, we deserved better than 2 seconds (2 SECONDS?!?!) of sex in an on-call room (which we saw in the promo a week earlier) and a godawful rejection at the end.

I was enjoying the rest of the episode, but at this point, I'm so gutted by the travesty that was Alex/Addison to care about anything else.

I used to love this show so much, I got my roommate and her friend hooked on it, I watched it religiously. Alex and Addison turned me from a loyal viewer to an full-blown obsessed one, and you broke my heart in the worst possible way. All we wanted was for you to wrap up their storyline in a way that made sense, and this? This did not make sense whatsoever.

I'm going to finish up this season, and then I'm gone. The show is going to be unwatchable without Addison, and I've had enough of the heartbreak. And I'm not signing up for the spin-off either, I'm sorry to say, because I will just be setting myself up for another disappointment.

I'm trying to understand why you guys are doing this to your characters, and I'm failing miserably. I don't want to hate this how, I don't want to hate these characters, but you've given me no other choice.

A very disappointed fan who is hoping this gets through.

[Katie]

Wow, you must have just oisted this!

Another fantastic episode!! Oh I hope you get Izzy and George together.... poor Callie - she's not going to give up without a fight... but she's always loved George more than he has loved her... and that's not fair to her.

Please don't break up Mer and Der either please!

Loved the Penis Fish story - you guys are the best show on TV - HANDS DOWN!!!

[Kayla]

Ignore the haters you did a good job on the eppy!

Poor Addison though.

Poor...

Poor Addie!

My heart went out for her.

You guys better be good to her on the spin off and give her someone who will do all those things for her and MAKE HER HAPPY or else...

~Kayla

[Jessica]

Ok..a lot went on in this episode, but this is what I wanted to comment about...

I was so happy when Derek FINALLY brought up Meredith drowning to her face! But this is where the line was crossed...that last statement when he says, "I don't know if I wanna keep trying to breathe for you". That was SO WRONG! Just to think of the circumstances that prompted Mer to give up. The terrible things her mom said and put her through. I know he must feel like "Am I not enough to live for? Doesn't she love me enough to want to keep living?" But...he should remember all she has been through! It was so INCREDIBLY harsh for him to say that to her! And then she says she's leaving and gives him the 10 second pause to stop her and he doesn't even look at her! What he said and the look on poor Mer's face, and thinking about all she has been through just broke my heart! Your writing is AMAZING! I don't pretend to think that I know better...But PLEASE let them work out! I know that they are going to have bumps on the road, but please let it just be bumps! They belong together! I'm just going to say it one more time....PLEASE!!!! :)

Jessica

P.s. Your show is amazing!
P.s.s. I HATE George and Izzie as a couple! I know you writers think they belong together...but I don't think they have any chemistry, and they were so cute as just BEING FRIENDS!

[Katie]

Addison fell in love with Alex, it seems pretty obivious. She didn;t even realize it until she talked to Callie, and then she decided to make her move, good for her. Having Alex break her heart like that? Not cool, if you want Addison to leave, find send her off to LA heaven, stupid, but fine, do it. Don't however make it because Addison's heart is broken, onece again. The poor woman she just can't seem to pull herself back up, everything she does revolves around a man, funny thing is... she's not real, so that must make it your fault. When Alex acted like that towards her, that seemed very in character for 1st and 2nd season Alex, but not 3rd season Alex. So pick one and stick with it because the indecisiveness is driving me crazy, and it hurts my McAddison and thats never cool.

[Casee]

Gizzie is so horrible. I just cant watch it anymore. Please give Callie some dignity and a a man who deserves her awesomeness.

[mcfan]

Please find a way for Addison and Mark to be together on the spinoff! That couple has chemistry and so much room to grow and develop with good storylines... what fun that would be to watch!

[Gracie]

I was heart broken too when Derek didn't get out of the bed and go after her but perhaps that was what she needed. The last few weeks the reality of her not swimming has been swimming around in his head. He needed to confront her. Maybe the timing was off but the timing wasn't really right when Mer decided to drown. Things were going ok for them and she opted to not swim? That would of sent a million questions through anyones mind. They love each other though so I think they will work it out but in order to work it out they had to bring it out...and there is never a good time to talk about anything that stinks.

[alphonse]

Ok, I must defend Mer now. Wasn't it just last fall that Der decided he loved her, that she dumped Finn and that Der decided he didn't need any more space? Just how many problems has she caused him that he is thinking she isn't worth it?? I know the not swimming thing is HUGE, but still - if you really love someone can you give up after just one incident??? We really haven't seen problem after problem shown on screen and even Der has baggage (like an entire year of him choosing his wife but keeping Mer on the line). Can't they ever just have a normal relationship with just a few woes????

That said, I am loving the George & Izzy thing, they remind me of the early and FUN Mer/Der.

[Shannon]

I think tonights episode was seriously sad.. I HATE that Derek and Meredith have hit a road block, and if they end it I will be very mad!! Because we never got to really see them together, we didn't see them have sex, we never heard them discuss everything they had been through since Addison showed up and we never heard them say "I love you". I feel so ripped off.. Poor Callie, George and Izzy they have sure created a mess. Addison had the man who would bbq and play catch with her kids with Derek and she ruined that. I wonder if she regrets it?? I wonder if Burke and Christina are actually going to get married or if one of them will realize they just aren't meant to be together? It was difinitely a interesting episode, left me wondering but in the end the only couple I'm the most concerned with is Derek and Meredith, I hope Derek realize how much he loves her and if he was cheif, it wouldn't mean much if she wasn't with him.. I still don't know how he just let her walk out of his trailor tonight... I think for the first time ALL season tonight you actually have looking forward to next week!!

[ss]

Ahhhh!!!! meredith and derek, the super couple of television. FINALLY. derek letting it out, the sad thing is, its neither of their fault. When the drowning happened meredith was in pain from her mother, now derek is in pain. I know you writers feel this couple is more interesting keeping apart than together, but just don't do anything brutal. I think people will get really really mad if you pull something like end of season one.
I love derek and meredith, and I want to see them go through this and come out of this. I feel alot for meredith cause I see so much of myself in her. I want them to work this out.

[McDark&Twisty]

Okay, so apparently you couldn't post one of my multiple comments, and I nunderstand why even though it wasn't really inappropriate.

I'll just repeat my original message:

Don't have George transfer. Please. We're already losing Addison. Just don't. It'll be an even bigger mistake than O'stevens.

"Meredith getting popped in the face next week WHOA! I wish it were Izzie instead."

Amen to that!