Stacy McKee on "Let the Angels Commit"

Original airdate: 11/2/06

You know what’s funny? I’ve been sitting here for a good – oh – hour at least (which, by the way, means it’s gone from being bright and sunny to darkity dark dark outside, all by what? 5:00pm?  I’m just going to say it. I officially hate daylight savings time) grappling with how to start this week’s writers blog.

It’s funny, because I actually blog with you guys every week (I also write the Grey’s Nurse’s Blog, for those of you who don’t know) and I usually have NO trouble at all coming up with all sorts of fun things to say, only… I just realized – the reason I’m having so much trouble tonight is… I can’t hide behind a character. I know exactly what Nurse Debbie would say about this episode (“Hello. What is this – Bring Your Snarky Sister To Work Day or what???”)

But tonight… I have to simply write this blog as… Me.

Jeesh. It’s a lot of pressure, people!

So – after watching my episode again (looking for inspiration), then watching the sun go down outside (again, looking for inspiration) – it hit me. There’s really only one way to get this blog started—

I have to be Ham.

I am ham, and I am committed to dish with you about this deliciously murky, incredibly dark and twisty episode. H. A. M. – Ham.

Now, let’s talk about Meredith and Derek. I’m sure you all noticed they don’t have a lot of face time in this episode – but, put yourself in Meredith’s position. How COULD they? She broke up with Finn. Then she told Derek that… she broke up with Finn. And now – she’s waiting – has BEEN waiting for Derek to, in some way, react to her news about dearly departed ex-boy-toy Finn!!! Suddenly she’s single; he’s single. Finally. They have a real chance at being together and – there’s a McHottie in Derek’s bed.

Ok, so it’s his sister, but whatever.

If I were Meredith – there’s really no way I’d be able to do anything right now but bite my nails, try to focus on work, avoid the HECK out of Derek and spend way too much time over analyzing things with my closest friends, only… Meredith can’t even do that. Because her closest friend, Cristina, is dealing with her own crazy problems, so…

It brings us to one of my very favorite (heartbreaking though it is) moments between Meredith and Derek. When they finally run into each other, after a very long gut wrenching day. Derek finally fesses up to the fact that he hasn’t so much as even called Meredith – but he should have. (Damn right he should.) And Meredith – trying so very hard to keep herself together, not to cry or scream or whatever it is you DO in that situation – the situation in which Derek SO SHOULD HAVE CALLED – and she says, simply: “But you didn’t.” God, that moment kills me every time. It just breaks my heart because – by not calling, Derek has said so much more to her than he ever could have said in a conversation. He’s shown Meredith that he has things to sort out. He’s shown her he’s not necessarily ready to move forward with her right now. He’s shown her the very thing she realizes, right there in the stairwell – that despite all this being newly single-ness… Derek needs some space.

So, in that moment, Meredith gives it to him. And don’t you just know that it kills her inside to do so, but… that’s what it means to be Ham. You just have to commit to something. Whether you want to or not.

Now – as for Derek, I for one really enjoy seeing him with his sister. It’s fun, frankly, to watch him interact with a woman he ISN’T sleeping with. And it’s just so nice to get a glimpse of who he must be at home, with his family – with all of his sisters – as a brother. The line where Derek tells Nancy that she sounds more and more like Mom everyday? Yeah, my brother’s said that to me a few times. And the part where Addison and Mark watch Nancy leave – and they sigh to themselves about how much they miss her? Can’t you just picture what the pre-Seattle Shepherd family holidays must have been like? Don’t you just KNOW it’s a blast to hang out at their place? I LOVE how Nancy gives us this teeny tiny window into the family that helped turn McDreamy into McDreamy.

Ok – now I have to take a moment to talk about Bailey. Holy crap – the look on her face at the end of this episode? Killer. But the part that the ham in me HAS to talk about – is the exchange Bailey has with Burke, after the Humpty Dumpty surgery, when Burke (backed into a corner and with absolutely no choice) is forced to tell Bailey that he “just couldn’t use” her. Burke – Burke of ALL people – should have Bailey’s back, and yet – he says something like that. And Bailey, of course, thinks she knows exactly what Burke means – because Bailey said the exact same thing to Izzie Stevens earlier in the day.

Bailey doesn’t trust Stevens. Bailey is disappointed in Stevens. Bailey doesn’t even really want to work with Stevens (remember when Bailey questions the Chief about putting Izzie back on her service?) So to Bailey? It’s like Burke must feel that exact same way about her – it’s just horrible. For Bailey, for Burke.

Until that final moment when Bailey sees Cristina writing and erasing things on that OR board…. And it hits her. There’s more to this than meets the eye. Which tells us all that clearly – things are about to get even more horrible for Cristina.

Oh, Cristina. Seattle Grace’s own Lady Macbeth… what can I say about Cristina? She’s (barely) holding it all together. She and Burke have started this thing – they have become a team, a well oiled machine, only… how long do they really think they can keep something like this up? Theirs is a temporary fix to potentially very big problem… they’ve barely been able to put their system into place and already, it’s beginning to unravel. But the thing to remember is this – Cristina is the definition of Ham. She is doing precisely what she has to do to protect Burke – whether it earns her points or burns bridges with her friends or her colleagues – she’s doing what it takes. Because she’s committed.

Alright – it occurs to me that, by being such a committed piece of ham, I’ve managed to write a very long blog already, and I still haven’t been able to address many MANY of our other characters. SO – quickly –

Izzie understands Gretchen (The Crazy Burn Girl) so well, because that speech, where Gretchen talks about only being known as one thing, as a failure? Izzie gets that in SUCH a big way – I mean, here she is, finally at work, and she isn’t even allowed to touch a patient because the last time she did, it was Denny. Talk about only being known for one thing? All anyone at Seattle Grace knows Izzie as is “The Intern Who Quit After Killing Her Boyfriend.” Izzie has a lot to prove – just like Gretchen. Luckily for us – Izzie’s journey doesn’t wind up with IZZIE being committed…

And George & Callie. Poor poor Callie – I’m on her side, folks. The girl’s so damn in love with George. And he’s blown her off over and over and now that she’s finally really truly broken things off with him– NOW George decides he’s the Pig? Is he kidding? Could his timing be any worse?

There’s a reason so many people (including our characters) have a fear of commitment. It’s a tricky thing. It usually comes at a cost – and sometimes that cost can be very high.

Or in the case of this particular blog, far too wordy. So this me, signing off for the night, hoping you enjoyed tonight’s episode– and, btw – don’t look for Debbie’s Blog right now – I’m sure I won’t be posting it until tomorrow… After all, even Ham has to sleep some time!

Comments

[Angela T]

ARGH! I was going to lay out a detailed rant about why I have no sympathy for Derek, but no. Because once again, no mention by the writers of this blog for Alex. Is it because he's not in some dysfunctional relationship or wanting to be in some dysfunctional relationship that you have nothing to say about him? You have a character who believably, without sabotaging anyone else, has grown from an all out jerk, just in medicine (yeah, I know this show is about the relationships, but it is also a medical drama) for the fame and glory to a mainly mature person struggling with a calling that he never wanted, that he mocked, and he's now drawn to. It's not being forced, it's subtly written, it's realistic that he still has doubts and he doesn't want to want to go into pedes or be an ob/gyn, but at the same time he can't help it. The way he was determined to stay on hold to the dmv so he wouldn't lose his shot at his dream career, but then decided screw it. He needed to see that operation. The way he couldn't keep his mind off of the case, he had to research and he had to jump in when he saw things not going well. In a wonderfully Alex, non sappy way, with a boxing recap.

To quote this show, seriously, does a character have to be sleeping with someone or have sex on the brain to get some attention from the people who write this show?

And, on that note, please, please, for all that is good, do not have Alex sleep with Addison.

Now, aren't you glad I haven't gone into detail about Derek?

[Andrea]

Hi. Just wanted to say that the episode was "nice", but I (along with many others) am getting SOOO sick of the Mer/Der "dance". So he needs some time, I get that and I'm OK with that, but I'm so sick of him and Mer not TALKING to eachother about their feelings and what's going on, and with all of the crossed signals and problems this causes. It's so tiring to care about them any more, and I just want you to move on. At least have him tell her he needs to take some time, or for them to take things really slow, or SOMETHING. But give us a reason to keep caring about them. Instead, we're all really feeling like your just jerking us along trying to drag out that storyline as long as you can, and I have to tell you that you've already dragged it to it's death, and if you don't move on, viewers stop caring about something that seems to never get anywhere for SO long (over a year now...)

[Tim B.]

Gotta say that I am really enjoying watching Cristina deal with this situation. Props to Sandra Oh for another strong performance. Also, it seems that Justin Chambers' character gets better and better every week. Keep it up, everyone. You're building towards something incredible, and I can't wait to see it.

[Melanie]

Dear Stacy

I truly love your show. Love it to the point of being obsessed with it (something which you guys must be used to hearing by now..) Just wanted to comment on McDreamy. Don't understand his need to have space in his life right now. I mean he spent the last year (whole of last season) not trying hard enough to make his marriage work, he was a bit of an a** himself with Addison (who was the one really trying to make the marriage work). Derek is dark and twisty.. he gives Mer examples of how tough it was for him to let go 11 thanksgivings when the one thanksgiving that he had to spend with Addison supposedly while trying to save his marriage, he kept her waiting all day to return home. He only had great sex with Addie when he thought Mer had slept with Finn.. And now, don't understand after all that he has put Mer and Addison through, he isn't bothered about sorting things out with Mer. I mean he has had more than enough time and space the whole of last season and the last few episodes of season three. When he told Mer that he loved her foreover in the beginning, it seemed as if he had made up his mind and he was not going to be wishy washy..the fighting over Mer with Finn, all that indicated that he was ready and now, when she is finally single..he's just behaving like an a**. I guess that's what makes him McDreamy but SERIOUSLY.. he is seemingly behaving like an a** and wallowing in self pity over wasted time in a marriage, when he could really be with Mer and now that he can be with Mer.. he needs SPACE. I think Mer should give him a piece of her mind and an ultimatim. She has been wronged by him and I would like to see him run after her and pamper her, rather than behaving like a tortured soul making puppy dog eyes all the time licking his wounds but not being bothered about the one who he claims to truly love.

[sara]

thanks for being our "ham" and commiting to this blog....please know that you guys (the writers) efforts do NOT go unnoticed or unappreciated! :)

ps. i really love alex right now...he's so real and complex, it gives me hope for all the "bad boys" i know out there hahaha

[Meredith]

Great episode, but seriously, the Washington Redskins? You know that's not Washington state, right? A patient at Seattle Grace would most likely be a fan of the Seattle Seahawks. Just for future reference. I appreciate all the work you guys do to make the medical part of the show correct, but Seattle has a football team, (a team currently plauged with injuries if your searching for a new medical case), so let's give them the credit they're due. After all, they were in the Superbowl last year.

[Audrey]

All I can say is that I'm glad I'm not a member of the Shepherd family if that's how they show being supportive of one another. I would never side with the woman (or the best friend) who hurt my brother, but try to be as supportive of him as possible. Also, next time, might not want to cast a woman unable to create a convincing American accent as McDreamy's brother.

That said, what about space for Meredith? Like George and Callie, Derek was only there for the chase after Meredith, and has never been ready to catch her. She deserves better.

[Emma]

Awesome blog...that merder seen broke my heart too

[Jeanette]

Great episode. I laughed (George calling Callie a pig as if it were a compliment) and I cried (Alex giving the play-by-play boxing commentary to the in-utero baby girl). In the middle of that Ceaseran surgery, my friend Ivan whispered to me, "Breathe." I had completely stopped breathing during the scene without even knowing it. And from now on, ham and eggs will forever be a part of the lexicon my girlfriends and I use to discuss love and relationships. I absolutely love this show.

[1ifiona]

I'm a fan of McDreamy and everything but the show is bigger than just the two of them (as we *all* know) and you can find lots of ways to almost get them back to gether and keep them apart and everything but they are just part of a GREAT big whole. And it is pretty dang great. So even though they occupy so much of your blog I'm happy they don't occupy that much of the show.

Derek's sister really is a b**** and you know how I know? She left her dirty cup on the coffee table when she left instead of throwing it away herself. Selfish b****** like that can't be bothered to bus their own dirty cups. Nice touch. ;)

[MEL]

I loved this Eppy and really it was soo nice to not have Mer/Der on my screen for very long. You showed why I love burke and Yang when your back is to the wall they look out for eachother.

YOu did not talk about Addy or Alex what can I say i LOVE them and the idea of them...:sigh: he is so cute around babies.

As for Callie I am so on her side George has alot to make up for and he better start soon.

[Borke]

great episode like every week!
greetz from germany :)

[luty]

why do you hate mer/der shippers ?

[Cherie]

Another great show! I only wish GA was on more than once a week. Way too much to say in a blog comment so I'll just say I'm looking forward to next Thursday!

[francine]

BTW -
There are way too many commercial breaks this season. I can't reach inside the episode till I rewatch it on Tivo.........

[Lin]

I swore to myself that I wouldn't post this until I woke up, but after laying awake for several hours I gave in and now here I sit at 4:52AM with an annoying tug on the inside of my brain telling me rudely that if I do not sleep now I will end up sleeping until 3PM the next day..
ANYWAY.

Tonights episode was one of my favorites by far. Nancy 'pants?' was rude, but in the end I think she got the message.
Addie was amazing, Mark was an a**, & Alex...oh my how much did I adore him?
Seeing him talk to that baby to calm it down really made me smile and I hoppppe, I just hope (ahaha Kate hopes too! its on the DVDs) that he hooks up with Addie because Mark is no good.
I used to like his character but he cannot seem to keep 'little' McSteamy in his pants and thats highly annoying. Oh, and his personality really bites...

Seeing Derek and Mer in the hall broke my heart. I just need some hope ;) some hope that MAYBE they will atleast hook up sometime soon. I don't want to see Mer & McSteamy together any time soon. Ugh if that just happens...ohh my. The outrage.

Oh, and Bailey. How much did we all love her? That face..and the end! Great job :)
I just feel bad for Cristina because shes going to rip that girl a new...
Anyway great ep! I Can't wait till next week! I just hope and pray with EVERYTHING I can that Mark & Mer do not hook up.

[amy]

okay guys...whats going on. the last time a guy told me he needed space, i never saw him again. those words never mean "i'll be happily in love with you in a few months." I was dissapointed in tonights episode, and to me...it didn't seem real. I know you guys have a plan going on back there but I've just never seen that situation work out before and tonite it feels like bad, sick drama, not good exciting drama. I hope we get some idea soon of where this is going. on another note, izzy pressed her luck on her first day back, even though she was right, her job is to obey right now. Isn't she worried enough about losing her job to stop testing and just take it for awhile?

[IntlGreyFan]

Meredith and Derrek should not end up with each other.

There must be someone better for them. Any relationship that didn't start out right in the first place no matter how intense it is will just never work out. Never.

[Paul]

GREAT episode Stacy! Loved it, but waay depressed after it too :( When are we going to get a fun laugh out loud episode again?

[Izzy Fan]

ohgmygosh,Izzie is magic. everyone is so good but my heart just loves the Izzie character. She could not be any more real,total talent there. thankyou again Katheryn.

[Isabelle (MB)]

Okay...I was expecting maybe a little more of Mer/Der...But it is true...Derek needs to find himself now...after all he moved to Seattle and met Mer...Addison came along and the guy has never been alone in the past 12 years...He needs to be alone for a little while...(but not too long please!!! I can`t wait for magical Mer/Der moments...)

As for Cristina...I think she will get herself in a lot of trouble with Bailey...I think that Cristina will have to fess up about bumping Bailey out of the surgery...I have a feeling something will happen to make her fess up...

Bailey...I was so heartbroken for her!!!! She is one of my favorite characters and to see her almost crying while talking to Burke, I had tears in my eyes...

Almost done...Nancy...can I say I didn`t like her when Mer came into the trailer??? calling Mer slutty...but then I warmed up to her...she put our McDreamy face to face with reality...so finally I liked her...

Finally...thank you for this epi...every epi is a treat for me...just hope all the drama ends up well...and I am going to ask something...Please, let the chase begin!!!!

[Lindsay]

I really enjoyed this episode . It was a lot better then last weeks episode, but I have one question why can't Derek and Meredith just be together? I understand they have complicated lives but they are in loveeee with each other and I really want to see them together and happy for a least a few episodes because I know on a drama such as Grey's Meredith and Derek cannot live happily ever after because the show would be over. However pleassssse let them be happy for a little while it makes me sad that they aren't together right now.

[Sara]

Oohh, First comment! The advantages of getting up so stinkin' early.
GREAT EPISODE!! It was worth staying up to watch (when you get up at 4, you need a good reason to stay up late, and this was it). I'm a ham, I'll admit it, and I fall for eggs...I'm so glad there is an analogy to define my love life. (anyone else have a desire to recite Dr. Suess about now?)

[Goddess Four Winds]

I am admitting that I cried 3...count them: 3!...times during this episode.

Everything's a mess...yet I've still got to love everyone just doing what they're doing...

...and I was glad Callie admitted that sex with McSteamy was dirty. hahaha! I guess we'd all figured that! (But Derrick's sister, too? EWWWW! hahahaha!)

This show make me dizzy (ditzy?).

Thanks, so much. I needed that.
GFW

[fromdempseyshometown04240]

Ham or eggs?

The McHottie in Derek's bed who we all thought he was sleeping with, his sister Nancy. Very clever editing of preview clips. You tricky tricky people. Give props to whomever does those clips because they really spun you.

The George and Meredith elevator scene. Hilarious and endearing. It was great to see them interact. Both of them missing their share buddies, so they turn to each other and act like each other's share buddies.

The Ham and Egg philosophy -- LOVE IT. It was so funny. Then George trying to use it on Callie, but it coming out all wrong because it's well, George, was priceless.

Finally, Izzie's Back! Nice to have her back in the hospital.

Bailey, Christina, Burke, Alex, McSteamy, etc. all had great things in this episode as well, but you already know, so I'm not going to bore you. Until next Thursday.