Grey's Anatomy: Grey Matter

Carolina Paiz on "Don't Stand So Close To Me"

Original Airdate: 11-30-06

I’m the “baby writer” around here. That doesn’t mean that I’m in charge of writing all the medical baby stuff, which is what one of the actors asked after Shonda introduced me. What it means is that I’m the youngest, most inexperienced and by far the luckiest writer on the whole staff. Cause little people like me don’t get hired into big time TV without a lot of luck (so okay, some hard work was involved too). In any case, I’m here, working at the funnest office of all time. Seriously. Not just saying. It’s kind of like working at Seattle Grace but without the sex. And the drama… but all of the interesting and the funny.

“Don’t Stand So Close To Me” is my first episode of aired TV, and I’m honored to have been given a chance to write it. I was a HUGE fan of the show before getting hired, which made it very hard to speak up in the writer’s room at first. It was just too close for comfort. These people were my heroes… and so I shook and trembled for a while (as you may have noticed from the blog, us writers are an easily frightened breed.) But scary though writing this episode was, it was also an amazing experience. Being so close to the characters and to the show meant that while it was daunting, it was also thrilling. And that’s exactly what this episode is all about. About how being too close to something can be a disaster… or a completely enlightening experience. Or both. And in the spirit of the Holidays, we decided to illustrate this point through the one thing we can never seem to get too close or too far away from this season: our families. Our biological families, our stepfamilies, our surrogate families.

Take Meredith … Her morning starts bright and early at the Nursing Home, where her mother is freaking over having been left by Richard. Again. And this alone is already uncomfortable… but then Ellis confesses that she regrets having had a daughter. And it hits Meredith like a slap in the face. This is way more information that she needed. To make matters worse, she arrives to the hospital to find that her intern family is in chaos… and that her stepfamily is also here, ready to give birth.

Meredith becomes determined not to let Susan and Molly get to her. She wants to remain professional. So much so that she volunteers to be their intern. But Mer quickly finds that this was a mistake.  Being present during the birth of Laura, and seeing that little tiny baby suffer … it makes Meredith realize just how much she cares about these people. Addison notices, and immediately has her taken off the case. And for the rest of the episode, Meredith makes a conscious effort to remain unaffected by Susan and Molly… which is hard. Cause Susan is so … sweet. And nurturing. And giving. And everything that Ellis is not. And so when Susan hugs her and calls Laura Meredith’s niece… it’s all just a little too much to handle … and Meredith’s forced to flee.

But not before she’s learned something… that being physically close can bridge an emotional divide… it can draw families in closer… And so that night, Meredith decides to go back to the Nursing Home. Her mother is even more troubled than she was in the morning… and this time, Meredith takes a big step… and decides to mother her own mother… she sees that Ellis needs consoling and so she steps up and takes her into her arms. And that closeness… it’s exactly what Ellis needed.

And then there’s George. Poor George. His dad is in the hospital and he’s so concerned. He’s trying his best to hold it together, to be the good son and the good doctor… but it’s really hard to be both. And pretty soon, he’s crossed a line and Bailey gives him a verbal restraining order: stay 50 feet away from your father or else… But of course, George doesn’t listen. Which is good… cause he and Callie are there to help save his father’s life.

But it’s while watching his father’s surgery that George comes to understand why Bailey wanted him far away… As soon as that saw blade starts cutting through his father’s chest, he realizes he can’t bear to watch. No matter how good a doctor he is, sometimes, it’s just too painful to be that close.  And so Dr. Burke walks him through his dad’s surgery in one of the sweetest moments that we’ve ever seen between these two. And after it’s all over, we realize that their friendship will be okay.

Speaking of Burke, let me address the Burktina of it all… So Cristina did this thing… she told on her attending, on her boyfriend. She told on him because she thought it was the right thing to do. But Burke disagrees. He feels like he was going to handle the situation and that Cristina just got ahead of him, and that by doing so, she betrayed him. So now this stubborn pairing has reached an impasse.  Neither is talking to the other. They are existing in close proximity… they live in the same apartment, they work in the same hospital… but they’re keeping their emotional distance. And for a while, we think that maybe this is IT for them. Caput. The End of Burktina. But then, when Derek says he’s going to go take another look at Burke’s shoulder… Cristina gets on the elevator to go with them. The relationship may be at an impasse, but this is her Preston Burke, and she’s sticking by him.  And so Burktina continues on… limping… but alive.

In his effort to come to grips with his own problems, Burke has caused much trouble around the hospital. He’s damaged not only his reputation, but also the self-assurance of some of his fellow surgeons. Which brings me to Derek and Bailey.  To be a surgeon, you have to be uber-confident. You have to be able to pick up that sharp scalpel and cut people open. You have to be able to pick up those forceps and fix people’s lives. And to make a surgeon question their abilities is to put patients at risk… Which is exactly what Bailey went through a few weeks ago… And what Derek is going through in this episode.

Burke has told him that it’s his fault that his hand is tremoring, and though Derek knows better… though he knows that he did all that he could and that Burke’s progress is remarkable… it’s enough to plant that small seed of doubt. And that small seed? It flowers pretty quickly.  So that by the time the twins come in, Derek begins to question whether or not he can pull such a difficult surgery off.  But thankfully Bailey is there, to help remind him of his skills, to let him know that Burke’s tremor is NOT Derek’s fault… but that if Derek had known about it earlier, he could have potentially fixed it. And with his confidence back, Derek plunges into the twin’s surgery.  And thankfully, him and his team of surgeons succeed.  And what a talented team it is.

Which brings me to my next point. McSteamy… mmm. Can I just say, now that it’s getting all chilly out… it’s nice to have a little Steamy in our lives. Even though once again he’s causing trouble everywhere he goes. He knows that Derek can do this surgery. What he doesn’t know is why Derek is backing out… which causes some friction for these two during the rehearsal surgery and the actual surgery… but once they’ve pulled it off, they share a second… just a brief, fleeting second of camaraderie and friendship. Did you catch it? After the rush of adrenaline that comes with such a fantastic surgical victory, Derek and Mark share a moment, a laugh. It was nice to see… it gave us a glimpse into what their friendship dynamic must have looked like back in NYC. When Steamy wasn’t the mortal enemy.

I love Steamy. I do. He’s so fresh; he just doesn’t care about these people or their dramas. He’s out to take care of himself… Or so we’re meant to think… until he reaches out and does something incredibly kind and lovely for Izzie. He brings her into the OR so that she can watch the twins surgery up close… which is a BIG DEAL. Izzie hadn’t been inside an OR since the Denny thing… and it was pretty selfless of Steamy to step up and show Izzie that he has a heart under all that unbelievable Hotness.  So yes, he can be impertinent and evil and demeaning and YES there was definitely some sexual harassment going on… but admit it. You kinda love the Steamy too.

Steamy Sloan reminds me a little of Alex… who, by the way, is my favorite character. He has so much going on inside … you think you’ve got him figured out but then he just reveals this whole other side to him. I loved him interacting with the twins. (Brilliantly played by Jason and Randy Sklar). Jake and Pete risk their lives to undergo a huge surgery to separate themselves from each other… only to ask to be reunited in the end. The twin’s relationship, in a nutshell, epitomizes what’s going on with all of our people… the twins, like our hospital interns, residents and attendings, are a family in disarray… fighting and distant… they may think that they want to be apart from each other, but the truth is that they can’t deny that they’re family. And they belong together.

Which is why it’s nice to see that in the end, Cristina and the other ‘terns make-up (though it may take George some time to come around) and that Cristina and Burke take a step in the same direction. Burke and Derek make up too… I mean even McSteamy and McDreamy are semi-friendly by the end of it. And of course, who can forget Bailey finally coming to terms with what’s happened and understanding the Chief’s perspective. And a valid perspective that is… The Chief gives powerful speeches in this episode in which he makes it loud and clear what his opinions are. I don’t know how he’s going to retire when there’s such mayhem going on around him. But one thing is clear. He wants to retire. Because he needs his Adele back. But how can the surgical family survive without his guidance? I, for one, am in a panic.

And by the way, YES, I did notice there is very little Mer/Der in this episode. Don’t worry… They are fine. They are better than fine. They are in love and happy and there was just so much surgery and family drama going on that they weren’t able to see each other much during this episode. But they are FINE. I love Mer and Der as much as you all… And I’m so very sorry they didn’t get much screen time. But stay tuned, cause some great stuff with them is coming up in January. I promise.

Okay, this is running way long. So let me wrap it up by saying HAPPY HOLIDAYS TO ALL OF YOU! And if you’re looking for a nifty present, Stacy McKee (the baby writer before me and one of our resident geniuses) just told me she bought her mom a mug that says McDreamy… and when you pour hot liquid into it, the lettering morphs into McSteamy! HA! Now that’s a stocking stuffer we can all look forward to …

(available in the Grey’s Anatomy Store at abc.com)

Kip Koenig on "From A Whisper to A Scream"

Original Airdate: 11-23-06

I need one word to describe my feelings after watching tonight’s episode, “From A Whisper to A Scream”: Holy!  Okay no, five words.  I need five words to describe my feelings: Holy crap!  That was intense!

And I have a confession: I'm scared.

Here’s why I'm scared.  I'm blogging.  Blogging for us writers here is a different kind of writing than we’re used to.  It’s like writing a term paper.  I mean, I know I don’t have to compare and contrast tonight’s episode with Lady MacBeth, but hundreds if not thousands of people never read my term papers.  Thank God.

And I'm guessing lots more people than that will watch the show tonight.  And that’s scary.  Because people love their Grey’s Anatomy.  People like you.  People like me.  People like Oprah.  And you, me and Oprah like our Grey’s Anatomy to be Grey’s Anatomy.  And this episode is, well, different than the tried and true.  There’s Cristina’s voice over for starters.  We’ve only had one other episode narrated by someone other than Meredith - that was George after…  you remember the sex with… let’s move on…  Anyway, this episode is different and I'm scared but I'm also really excited because I think it kinda rocks.

Shonda wanted one big episode about betrayal.  And so we have all kinds of betrayal: a patient whose lover betrayed her, another patient whose body betrayed him, Callie feeling betrayed by Meredith about the McSteamy sex, George feeling Izzie betrayed him with his parents, Meredith not telling Derek about Burke’s tremor, George going to the Denny card with Izzie, etc.  And at the wheel, driving this betrayal band wagon is Cristina.  And Burke.  And their frickin crazy ass secret. 

That secret is such a big honking betrayal.  Think back over the course of this season; it makes your head spin how many of our people were betrayed because of it.  Bailey, Richard, Derek, Meredith, George, everyone, take a number and get in line.  And the thing is Cristina and Burke know this.  And it is killing them.  And so it has to end. 

Choice and circumstance got them into this.  They became a team and the team piled up victories in surgery after surgery.  They saved lives, lost none.  But the cost outside surgery kept going up.  The walls started closing in on Cristina.  She may be a part robot but she is also part human (that’s in fact true).  She’s exhausted, scared and trapped.  And it gets worse everyday.  Burke is a man of such integrity, even if he believes he is recovered – and he absolutely does – not being completely forthright with Derek, or Richard, or Bailey, or anyone, is wrong.  He’s betrayed all of them and that eats away at who he really is.  And so it has to end.

Burke is about to tell Derek the truth when Derek presents him with an emergent surgery.  Then Alex interrupts with another emergent case.  Choice and circumstance force them into surgery one more time but in this surgery Burke orders Cristina to the other side of the OR table.  The team is done.  Burke is done.  Cristina is done. 

We don’t know what Cristina says to Richard.  All we know is that she beat Burke to it and that breaks Burke’s heart.  And probably Richard’s as well.  He was going to step down, go back to Adele.  He’d chosen a successor.  This was a huge decision.  He loves Seattle Grace and would only leave it in the hands of someone he trusts completely.  Now what? 

Speaking of “now what,” we now know George’s dad is going to have Erica Hahn perform his surgery.  It kills me to see George so scared; but it’s his dad and I think we can all relate.  And it was nice to see Izzie be there as a friend for him at the end - despite what went on between them during the day. 

Okay, I know I'm not the only one looking for signs that Alex and Addison might go all Grey’s Anatomy on each other.  Maybe if that moment at the end had been in a stairwell or in an on-call room.  I love seeing those two characters together and I love that Addison can see the good in Alex that others – particularly Mark in this episode – don’t see.

Oh, and did anyone notice the McSex version 2.0 at the end there?  Yeah, that was sex on the horizon as the camera panned away from Meredith and Derek.  See, they are a couple – and for much of this day a very happy couple (How great to see, right?).  And couples overcome things.  Even some betrayals.  And sex helps.  Remember that.  Sex helps.

On that note, I’d like to wish everyone a really happy turkey day.  I am going to go eat.  Then I am going to sit down and watch that show that comes on at nine.  Hope you all enjoy and again, Happy Thanksgiving from Kip to you.

Gabrielle & Harry on "Staring At The Sun"

Original airdate: 11/16/06

We hope you enjoyed the episode!  We tried to blend the happy with the sad, because that’s kind of like real life, right?  Our episode’s theme was Blind Spots; how our doctors would respond when confronted with things they either couldn’t see or didn’t want to see, both in their professional and their personal lives. Starting off was easy, cause who doesn’t want to see Meredith and Derek all shiny and happy in a big bubbly bathtub?  We know we’re making them and you wait for the super great “reunion sex”, but like Meredith said, waiting is part of the fun. 

We really like Meredith deciding to be more cheerful, more “bright and shiny”, but bright and shiny can be pretty hard to pull off when you’re a surgical intern, dating an Attending, working with his ex-wife and her ex-steamy (That’s Dr. McSteamy to you.) and the Chief of Surgery, (your mother’s secret lover) asks you to break up with your mother (again), who happens to be in a nursing home suffering from Alzheimer’s!  Wow.  Frankly we think Meredith does pretty well holding it all together. The scene between Ellis and Meredith at the end was so sad.  Poor Ellis feels like Richard has left her all over again.  Easy to see how Meredith ended up back in the tub not quite as shiny as before.  But as long as Derek is with her, we know she’ll get through.

It’s kind of nice that Derek and Addison are at least trying to make life in the hospital between them civil.  But as we saw in their conversation with Richard, there’s still a lot of hurt and pain between them.  It’s going to be a while before they can put that aside, but Addison took a major step in moving on by tossing her wedding rings away. Of course, moving on from Derek, doesn’t mean she’s moving toward Mark Sloan, although it seems like he’s still very interested in getting her back.  We love writing for Mark. Who else is going to ask Addison if she “wants my pickle” with such a devilish grin on his face?

Did you love Frank, our pec implant man?  He had us laughing on every take. As funny as he was, we really tried to use him to give Alex some insight on his feeling for Izzie. He opened Alex’s eyes to the fact that deep down he still has strong feelings for Izzie.  That kiss caught both Alex and Izzie off guard, but we loved how sweet they were together. Who knows what the future will bring for these two.  Perhaps Alex will be able to “feed” Izzie’s “beast” again.  Keep watchin’… you just never know.

Cristina and Burke are certainly heading for some kind of showdown.  She’s helped him get back in the game, but it’s pretty obvious that Burke’s ego has taken a bit of a beating.  That being said, he still does have the tremor and Cristina really is stepping it up in his surgeries.  Just how long can these two keep it together?  Who’s going to crack first?  Can they keep their secret a secret?  George and Burke’s friendship seems to be caught in the crossfire.  But can you blame George for worrying about who’s going to operate on his father?   That last shot of Cristina and Burke, in bed, and the simple “George knows” speaks absolute volumes.  As they say, you can run, but you can’t hide.  The truth always has a way of revealing itself. 

The last thing we want to talk about is the Bailey/Mia storyline.  The great thing about working on a TV show with millions of viewers is sometimes you can impart information that can make a real difference in real people’s lives.  Did you know in the U.S., 50 children a week are accidentally backed over in driveways and on sidewalks by cars driven by family members and neighbors?  Gabrielle’s sister’s friend Arden Rosenfeld lost her two year old daughter, Veronica, to such an accident and her terrible tragedy inspired this storyline.

So long, and thanks for all the fish!

Gabrielle & Harry

Mark Wilding on "Where the Boys Are"

Original Airdate: 11-09-06

Mistakes.  I’ve decided to talk about mistakes.  My mistakes.  The characters’ mistakes.  And the mistakes I made which led to the characters’ mistakes.  Already you’re probably thinking “What??  Can’t I just enjoy this blog without the stupid build-up?”  The answer is no.  Don’t worry.  Read on.  It’ll become clearer.  Last night’s episode was called “Where the Boys Are”.  Which was my first mistake. 

When I suggested that song title to the writers’ room, I got a lot of blank stares.  The Connie Francis song, I said.  You know…Someone waits for me?  A smiling face, a warm embrace?  Two arms to hold me tenderly?  And, pushing on -- despite all the puzzled looks from my fellow writers, the people who I thought would at least pretend to be supportive – I told them that what made the title so VERY, VERY clever is that the episode’s about where the boys literally are and where they are emotionally.  See?  Pretty clever, right?  Right??  Again, more blank stares.  Connie who?  Okay.  My first mistake.  Pitching very old songs to a very young writers’ room.

And now for my second mistake.  Or at least what I thought was my second mistake.  Seattle.  Yes, those pictures on your TV screen really were Seattle.  That Space Needle in the background when Derek’s sticking the Chief’s suitcase in his Jeep-looking vehicle?  That’s the real Space Needle.  We didn’t CGI it or go to LAX and shoot that futuristic looking restaurant that may or may not revolve and that could maybe look like the Space Needle if you were flying at ten thousand feet and there was enough smog that day.  And the woods?  Those are REAL SEATTLE WOODS. 

I know because I was there.  And I insisted that we fly up a crew and they be there too.   Because I thought it was really, really important that the woods look like Seattle woods – with their towering pines and moss-covered trees and mountains covered in clouds.  As opposed to the eucalyptus trees and dry brush and blue skies that you tend to find in your basic L.A. forests. 

On my first visit to the place, though, it rained.  Hard.  Really hard.  And living in L.A. where you think the weather in other parts of the country must somehow be just like L.A., I didn’t exactly come prepared.   I wore a cotton shirt, flimsy golf jacket (no hood) and sneakers.  Yes.  BIG MISTAKE.  BIG STUPID MISTAKE.  I was freezing cold and soaking wet before it was even 11:00 o’clock in the morning.  And even though the water dripping off my face looks like it could be tears, it really was just rain.  I want to clear that up because there’s a video of a soaking wet me that circulated around the Grey’s offices for the better part of a week.  I wasn’t crying.  Okay?  Still.  Letting someone film me?   A very bad mistake.  And the thought did cross my mind – if only for a second – is shooting in the rainy Seattle woods really the best idea?  Or was it a mistake? 

Then I was saved.  Our extraordinary line producer Rob Corn made it all happen.  We found the locations.  We shot great stuff.  And there was next to no rain (great job Rob!).  Plus, all the outdoor stuff looks FANTASTIC (great job director Dan Minahan and great job, Director of Photography, Herb Davis!).  So, to quote Ronald Reagan, “Mistakes were made.”  But Rob Corn saved me from those mistakes!  Thank you again, Rob. 

And now onto the actual episode...

My next mistake might have been the theme of the episode.  It was Outside/In.  Thinking you can recognize a problem by what’s on the outside while somehow underestimating or not recognizing what’s going on inside.  Yeah.  That’s a lot to bend your mind around.  For example – Jamie’s a healthy-looking young girl on the outside; on the inside she has a dead baby.  Donna isn’t happy being a man.  She wants to undergo the final step in becoming a woman so that she can finally have her outsides match her insides.  And then there’s Derek, who thinks that being outside in the woods will help him with his inner turmoil. 

Don’t get me wrong.  Outside/In was a serviceable theme.  But it might have been a mistake.  A better theme might have been “couples”.  Because, it turns out the episode revolves around couples and how happy or unhappy they are.  I didn’t really notice this until Shonda mentioned the idea of couples while we were in editing.  So now I’m running with it.  Because, hey, it’s Shonda.  It’d be a mistake not to.

So.  In no particular order.  Our couples --

Ted and Jamie -- the couple with the stillborn baby.  A happy couple.  She slipped and fell in the shower.  She made a mistake.  We never actually answer the question of whether that led to the death of the baby.  Because, at the end of the day, that didn’t seem as important as what she and Ted actually have to go through.

Vicky and her transgender husband Donna.  An unhappy couple.  Donna thinks what Vicky’s doing is a big mistake.  Deep down, she really doesn’t want her to do it.  And she ends up staying with Donna because that’s what makes her happy.

Joe and Walter.  Another happy couple.  Although by the end of the trip, Walter clearly thinks it was a mistake to have gone camping with these guys.  By the way, that scene at the river with Richard talking to Joe and realizing how much they have in common?  We almost didn’t shoot that scene because we had a full shooting schedule and I wasn’t sure if we needed it.  And not shooting that?  That would have been a TERRIBLE MISTAKE.  It’s one of my favorite scenes in the episode.

Richard and Adele.  “I miss my wife”.  What more do you have to say?

Addison and Callie.  A surprising couple.  That scene where they’re both sitting together on the floor at the end was another one of my favorites.

Cristina and Burke.  Burke’s not happy with Cristina and how she’s coming to dominate his life.  That’s why the camping trip.  But he sees the anguish that George is putting himself through with Callie and thinks he may have been a little rough on Cristina.  Which was a mistake.  He returns and they’re reconciled.  At least for now... 

Derek and Burke.  An unlikely couple.  Derek thought it would just be the two of them getting away to the mountains and now all these other bozos are tramping along after them.  And at the end of the day, being in the great outdoors didn’t really solve anything.  Except to help him realize how foolish it was to come out here in the first place.  And Burke’s not that nice to him until the end when he offers to talk about Mark Sloan.  Which doesn’t make them a couple but makes them friends… of a sort. 

Mark and Meredith.  Mark spends the whole episode telling Meredith that they’d make a better couple than she and Derek.  And Meredith’s maybe a little tempted but…talk about mistakes.  That’s certainly one she’s not about to make.  Is it?  Which leads us to…

Meredith and Derek.  Who wind up together at the end of the episode.  And as much as he thought he needed space, at the end, he’s where he’s always wanted to be.  Pressed up against Meredith.  With next to no space between them…

As for me, the next time I go to Seattle I’m bringing layers.  Lots and lots of layers.  Some mistakes you only need to make once…

Stacy McKee on "Let the Angels Commit"

Original airdate: 11/2/06

You know what’s funny? I’ve been sitting here for a good – oh – hour at least (which, by the way, means it’s gone from being bright and sunny to darkity dark dark outside, all by what? 5:00pm?  I’m just going to say it. I officially hate daylight savings time) grappling with how to start this week’s writers blog.

It’s funny, because I actually blog with you guys every week (I also write the Grey’s Nurse’s Blog, for those of you who don’t know) and I usually have NO trouble at all coming up with all sorts of fun things to say, only… I just realized – the reason I’m having so much trouble tonight is… I can’t hide behind a character. I know exactly what Nurse Debbie would say about this episode (“Hello. What is this – Bring Your Snarky Sister To Work Day or what???”)

But tonight… I have to simply write this blog as… Me.

Jeesh. It’s a lot of pressure, people!

So – after watching my episode again (looking for inspiration), then watching the sun go down outside (again, looking for inspiration) – it hit me. There’s really only one way to get this blog started—

I have to be Ham.

I am ham, and I am committed to dish with you about this deliciously murky, incredibly dark and twisty episode. H. A. M. – Ham.

Now, let’s talk about Meredith and Derek. I’m sure you all noticed they don’t have a lot of face time in this episode – but, put yourself in Meredith’s position. How COULD they? She broke up with Finn. Then she told Derek that… she broke up with Finn. And now – she’s waiting – has BEEN waiting for Derek to, in some way, react to her news about dearly departed ex-boy-toy Finn!!! Suddenly she’s single; he’s single. Finally. They have a real chance at being together and – there’s a McHottie in Derek’s bed.

Ok, so it’s his sister, but whatever.

If I were Meredith – there’s really no way I’d be able to do anything right now but bite my nails, try to focus on work, avoid the HECK out of Derek and spend way too much time over analyzing things with my closest friends, only… Meredith can’t even do that. Because her closest friend, Cristina, is dealing with her own crazy problems, so…

It brings us to one of my very favorite (heartbreaking though it is) moments between Meredith and Derek. When they finally run into each other, after a very long gut wrenching day. Derek finally fesses up to the fact that he hasn’t so much as even called Meredith – but he should have. (Damn right he should.) And Meredith – trying so very hard to keep herself together, not to cry or scream or whatever it is you DO in that situation – the situation in which Derek SO SHOULD HAVE CALLED – and she says, simply: “But you didn’t.” God, that moment kills me every time. It just breaks my heart because – by not calling, Derek has said so much more to her than he ever could have said in a conversation. He’s shown Meredith that he has things to sort out. He’s shown her he’s not necessarily ready to move forward with her right now. He’s shown her the very thing she realizes, right there in the stairwell – that despite all this being newly single-ness… Derek needs some space.

So, in that moment, Meredith gives it to him. And don’t you just know that it kills her inside to do so, but… that’s what it means to be Ham. You just have to commit to something. Whether you want to or not.

Now – as for Derek, I for one really enjoy seeing him with his sister. It’s fun, frankly, to watch him interact with a woman he ISN’T sleeping with. And it’s just so nice to get a glimpse of who he must be at home, with his family – with all of his sisters – as a brother. The line where Derek tells Nancy that she sounds more and more like Mom everyday? Yeah, my brother’s said that to me a few times. And the part where Addison and Mark watch Nancy leave – and they sigh to themselves about how much they miss her? Can’t you just picture what the pre-Seattle Shepherd family holidays must have been like? Don’t you just KNOW it’s a blast to hang out at their place? I LOVE how Nancy gives us this teeny tiny window into the family that helped turn McDreamy into McDreamy.

Ok – now I have to take a moment to talk about Bailey. Holy crap – the look on her face at the end of this episode? Killer. But the part that the ham in me HAS to talk about – is the exchange Bailey has with Burke, after the Humpty Dumpty surgery, when Burke (backed into a corner and with absolutely no choice) is forced to tell Bailey that he “just couldn’t use” her. Burke – Burke of ALL people – should have Bailey’s back, and yet – he says something like that. And Bailey, of course, thinks she knows exactly what Burke means – because Bailey said the exact same thing to Izzie Stevens earlier in the day.

Bailey doesn’t trust Stevens. Bailey is disappointed in Stevens. Bailey doesn’t even really want to work with Stevens (remember when Bailey questions the Chief about putting Izzie back on her service?) So to Bailey? It’s like Burke must feel that exact same way about her – it’s just horrible. For Bailey, for Burke.

Until that final moment when Bailey sees Cristina writing and erasing things on that OR board…. And it hits her. There’s more to this than meets the eye. Which tells us all that clearly – things are about to get even more horrible for Cristina.

Oh, Cristina. Seattle Grace’s own Lady Macbeth… what can I say about Cristina? She’s (barely) holding it all together. She and Burke have started this thing – they have become a team, a well oiled machine, only… how long do they really think they can keep something like this up? Theirs is a temporary fix to potentially very big problem… they’ve barely been able to put their system into place and already, it’s beginning to unravel. But the thing to remember is this – Cristina is the definition of Ham. She is doing precisely what she has to do to protect Burke – whether it earns her points or burns bridges with her friends or her colleagues – she’s doing what it takes. Because she’s committed.

Alright – it occurs to me that, by being such a committed piece of ham, I’ve managed to write a very long blog already, and I still haven’t been able to address many MANY of our other characters. SO – quickly –

Izzie understands Gretchen (The Crazy Burn Girl) so well, because that speech, where Gretchen talks about only being known as one thing, as a failure? Izzie gets that in SUCH a big way – I mean, here she is, finally at work, and she isn’t even allowed to touch a patient because the last time she did, it was Denny. Talk about only being known for one thing? All anyone at Seattle Grace knows Izzie as is “The Intern Who Quit After Killing Her Boyfriend.” Izzie has a lot to prove – just like Gretchen. Luckily for us – Izzie’s journey doesn’t wind up with IZZIE being committed…

And George & Callie. Poor poor Callie – I’m on her side, folks. The girl’s so damn in love with George. And he’s blown her off over and over and now that she’s finally really truly broken things off with him– NOW George decides he’s the Pig? Is he kidding? Could his timing be any worse?

There’s a reason so many people (including our characters) have a fear of commitment. It’s a tricky thing. It usually comes at a cost – and sometimes that cost can be very high.

Or in the case of this particular blog, far too wordy. So this me, signing off for the night, hoping you enjoyed tonight’s episode– and, btw – don’t look for Debbie’s Blog right now – I’m sure I won’t be posting it until tomorrow… After all, even Ham has to sleep some time!