Zoanne Clack on "Oh, the Guilt"

Original Airdate: 10-19-06

Admit it.  Grey’s Anatomy is one of your guilty pleasures, right?  Your curl-up-on-the-couch, unplug-the-phone, “get your own dinner” pleasure.  I could be wrong, but that’s what people tell me.  Don’t feel bad.  Some people’s guilty pleasures get them into much more trouble than watching Grey’s in the comfort of your home ever will.

Take Callie and George for example.  Callie’s got a new little guilty pleasure and his name is McSteamy.  Yowza.  That woman knows how to work it.  But now she’s got to work it out.  Work out the guilt.  She may have been trying to hide it, but she’s feeling hella guilty if you ask me.  I mean, let’s face it.  Her break up last week was not a lesson in communication.  Yeah, she can make the point that George should’ve known so she doesn’t have to feel guilty, but look at it from George’s point of view.  I could totally understand his… confusion!  That may be because, I, too, am no good at relationships.  Being, well, let’s say an “over-thirty-never-married-singleton” did not happen for no reason.  But, on the other hand, don’t you think George should’ve known?  He kept pushing her away, she was never a priority.  As far as she was concerned, it was over.  Not just I’m-mad-at-you-over.  Over over.  Is she wrong for that or completely justified?  Who’s to say…

And what about poor Addison?  She got kicked out of a city over her guilty pleasure.  She stayed with Mark!  She moved in with Mark!  She was IN LOVE with Mark!  Sure, she hoped against all hope that the love she and Derek shared would overrule the wrongs, but she mainly came to Seattle because Mark had cheated on her and she realized who he really was/is (which is, BTW, a MAN WHORE! - since he’s been in Seattle he’s slept with Addison, Callie and flirted with Mer, I think he pretty much fits the bill, towel and all). 

She didn’t want to tell Derek. She had to.  She knew she could lose everything.  But she faced Derek head on.  Nose to nose.  Eye to eye.  You’ve got to commend her for that.  Okay, she was coerced into it… a little.  Mark just wouldn’t let up!!  Not to mention she was face to face with the horrors of what guilt brings with her patients, Mr. and Mrs. McStuckey.  It’s so hard (although extremely brave) to look someone in the eye while confessing some truth you’ve been hiding from.  I mean, you’ve been hiding from it for a reason, right?  Guilt is a crazy powerful emotion.  Addison should be commended.  Except maybe for falling right back into the bed that got her in this mess in the first place.

Which brings me to my next point:  top five reasons you should not feel guilty about taking this hour out of your life to watch our show.

(1) You get to learn life lessons.  Yes, I’m the doctor-writer on the show but I’m not talking medical things, I’m talking life lessons.  Things that pertain to all of us somehow, someway.  Not in every episode for every one of us, but I think if you look back, you’ll find some reflection of yourself in at least one of the characters or situations.

For me, in this episode, the thing that became plainly obvious when we started writing is that we didn’t need some big huge reason for Mrs. McStuckey to need to tell her husband.  Did I mention guilt is a crazy strong emotion?  My learning point for this episode: the truth just has to come out.  It just has to. 

(2)  You get to see that there are people in the universe more flawed than you!  (not that anyone who watches GA is flawed… you’re all fantabulous!)  Everyone’s looking for perfection and I think our show pretty much lets you know:  there is no perfection, just levels of flawed humanity.  And our characters have that down ten-fold.  And as much as you may hate to admit it, I think most people can see just a little piece of themselves in at least one character.  I, for one, like Meredith more the more I get to know her.  Yeah, she’s got issues.  Big ones.  Gargantuan ones.  She makes bad decisions.  Really bad.  Phenomenally bad.  But who am I to say if given her situation I’d cope better?  Which leads to reason number 3…

(3)  You get to learn to move with your whole body.  Okay, I’ll admit it.  That one I learned from some wise person on “Dancing With the Stars.”  But Alex said it, too:  live your life while you can.  Mer would’ve done well to apply that philosophy and just let out the truth!  Instead, she decides to put it all on the line right after Addison dropped her truth on Derek!  He was not in any space to hear that she, too, had betrayed him all day long.  And what did she get in return?  Yep.  A whole lot of nothing.  Because even the McDreaminator is flawed.  He, too, has issues.  Deep issues.  He thought had come to terms with them.  He was trying to stand up for his mistakes.  Trying to pay for his guilt by giving Addison everything so that all would be right with the world again.  But guilt is not really accustomed to being bribed.

(4) You get to learn money management.  What would you do if you got $8.7 million dollars from out of the blue?  Spend it all?  Invest it? Travel?  Or put it up on the fridge?  I bet "put it up on the fridge" was not your answer.  What is she thinking LEAVING AN 8 MILLION DOLLAR CHECK ON THE FRIDGE??!!  But that’s just it, isn’t it?  She’s not thinking.  She’s not, people!  She hasn’t gotten as far as thinking.  It’s blood money!  This money is laced and interwoven with the finest 100% silk guilt!  Perfectly fine Izzie isn’t perfectly fine.  Yes she finally was able to go into the hospital.  Yes she talked to the chief about coming back.  But wouldn’t it be more fun to move to the islands off the coast of Belize and be Leo DiCaprio’s island neighbor?  Hmmm….

(5) You can be inspired.  Bailey inspires me.  Almost weekly.  She’s so amazing both in character and in real person-ville.  Boy did she get put through the ringer in this one.  Every possible way.  She got attacked personally, politically, and professionally.  The three “p’s” we like to say here at Grey’s.  Okay actually that’s not true, I just made that up.  But I digress.  Personal:  being a new mom.  Political: your interns have no respect for your authority (in front of your bosses, no less).  Professional:  your hormones affecting your judgment.  Show of hands for who would’ve just packed it up in the middle of M&M and given it back to Burke?  Or better yet, walked down from the podium, stood up on a chair, and punched Dr. Savoy dead in the face? 

But Bailey was steadfast, she held her ground.  In true Bailey style.  But it got to her.  She actually let it affect her patient care.  Things can get to even the toughest of us.  The question is, do we come out the other side?  Or do we let guilt win?  Do we let our own insecurities (and those insecurities that are thrust upon us by others) bring us down?  Well, if we take a lesson from Bailey we sure as hell don’t.  You get your “3 p’s” back in order.  Kind of like getting your chakras in order, but different on a same kind of level.  And it doesn’t hurt to get a little justification from a friend (which in this case, happened to be Alex, whose just a teddy bear inside).

(6) You can realize that maybe your day-to-day issues aren’t as terrible as they seem.  I mean, nobody’s gonna die if you filed the wrong folder, right (I mean, literally)?  You didn’t think I’d forgotten about the Burktina of it all, did you?   It was Burke’s first surgery… he HAD to go in.  He could either live with the guilt of watching Mr. McStuckey quickly exsanguinate (doctor talk for “bleed to death”) on the table while they waited for another surgeon to come in or he could get in there and do what needed to be done.  There’s that lingering question of “is he ready.”  Cristina assures him she’ll be there.  On his right side.  They saved this life together.  They pulled it off.  They are in love, they’ll make this work, but when do you draw the line with love?  Kind of makes the decision of which wallpaper to pick a little less life-altering, doesn’t it?

(7) You get to learn new vocabulary.  There was the roll-off-the-tongue “seriously.”  Then the infamous “vah-jay jay.”  Now I challenge you to use “swirl” in everyday conversation.  And I’m loving the re-introduction of 70’s phenom “chump.”

Yeah, yeah I know.  Not five reasons.  Whatever.  All I can say is, if Grey’s is your guilty pleasure in life, I think you can feel pretty good about it.  At least you won’t end up stuck on your spouse, being pulverized at an M&M, or getting kicked out of a city.  At least I hope not.

-Zoanne

Comments

[Michelle]

awesome.wow.seriously
ok i cried 2 times.
(1) the whole breast cancer thing with bailey. it was so sad
(2) mark and addison

ok i wanna slap derek. sorry but thats just me. ok he ignored meredith. he ignored her. how could he do this to...her? and me? and us!?!?!?!
im so mad at callie by the way. she was just starting to warm up to me and now she blew it. oh well, her problem.
ok back to derek. i never thought i'd say this but he should listen to mark! listen to him derek and be happy with meredith!! i think the whole thing with his sister or whoever the next episode will bring them back together.
but how can you ignore meredith? like i dont get it. HOW? im not going to sleep tonight. he he.
this was amazing! oh and my friend got me the seriously shirt. =]
mark + addison: um, im not so sure. maybe they'll work it out. not sure how i feel about it.
poor meredith: the last thing she needs is to think derek is with someone else. this whole emotional roller coaster is very truamatic, i must say.
burke: i hope his hand gets better. i really hope so. and hes very lucky to have christina, the intern thats gets to do a surgery and help her boyfriend at the same time
george: i feel bad for him. every girl ends up rejecting him. i want him to be happy. PLEASE, make him happy people.

this episode was amazing and i love it. you guys (writers) rock. keep making them better and better!
michelle

[B]

No, no, no. I’m sorry, but no. Please, do not do this romance novel garbage. You came close enough with Meredith not wanting to tell Derek about breaking up with Finn (the convenient unwillingness-to-communicate that keeps the leads apart), but at least that was resolved. That’s good. But Derek staying away from Meredith now that he’s divorced and she’s free? Bull. Contrived, weak, bull. That he’s ticked off at having lost the last year for trying with Addison, given the real circumstances - absolutely. That he’s staying away from Meredith, and by the previews -- well, I won’t spoil, but you know what -- just no, no, no! It’s character assassination.

He stayed in love with Meredith all through trying with Addison, so much so that he couldn’t really try with Addison, and now he’s not running to be with Meredith when they’re both free? What? Is it because he said he was walking away? That was so she could be with Finn; she’s not with Finn, Finn is gone - reason to walk away, equally gone. Because he found out Addison had a relationship with Mark? There’s no logic whatsoever in that. Bad mood after hearing it, yeah, but from the blog: Meredith betrayed him all day? No - sorry - no way. She fibbed, yes. Said Finn was fine. Maybe it upset him more. That could have been cleared up with a few sentences, but no. And so again we have unwillingness to communicate due to romance-novel convenience -- but betrayal by Meredith? I don’t think so.

I have been in Derek’s corner, all this time. I have not understood the absolute loathing many people have for him (not so much on this site, but another). I have posted in his defense. But this? Plain and simple awful, contrived, romance-novel plot to keep them apart. This is nonsense, and you are all better writers and storytellers than this.

As for the rest of the episode … no way.
--The parallel story with the woman and her ex-husband was not only silly and too convenient to get Burke back into surgery, it was *way* too obvious for goading Addison into confessing. (That problem - goading too obviously; see Natalie Cole episode - isn’t new, but you’ve been more subtle many times, so I know you can be.)

--How is Burke not speaking up about his hand? He’s Preston Burke! He wouldn’t accept less than perfection. His confidence is understandably messed up, but that shouldn’t change his integrity. But of course, that was convenient to get Izzy interested in surgery again after seeing Cristina assisting him.

--Plus, Bailey is all over the place. Who is she, anymore? She seems only occasionally Bailey this season. Yes, she’s had a baby, and that messes up your hormones like crazy ... but that was what -- mid-last season? She was still Bailey last season: tough-as-nails-with-a-heart. I understand that she felt loss and responsibility over Denny, but I don’t believe she would take the garbage from whomever that doctor was accusing her, to the point of - again - losing integrity when it comes to caring for a patient. This is the woman who was ready to charge past the quarantine to get to a patient! That was Bailey - tough, and yet compassionate. In this episode, she was mostly not, until the end.

I am truly disappointed, and I generally *love* this show. Please, please, please, do not start manipulating characters for the sake of plot. Stay true to the characters. The show Lost suffered last season because of not staying true to the wonderful characters they had created. Don’t do the same. You have wonderful characters. Maybe you just had too many writers on this episode, because there were several names. Maybe it was just too many cooks. Do you see that I’m ranting out of love? I love this show. I care unreasonably about these characters. I know you all do, too, and that you're talented enough not to need such contrivance. And I didn't really think Finn was contrivance, so, there you go. -- At least, not up until the dating thing, because - obvious - but the part with Derek saying he was walking away, and then Meredith realizing where her heart really was, was great, and so it was OK. What's happening now? Not so much.

[seriously]

I don't know what it is... I know ya'll are trying real hard but I just hate the character of Derek.

Why don't ya'll just paint a big red A across Addison's face and be done with it. And after tonight I no longer want her with Mark. There has to be more to life, love and TV than a bunch of people cheating on each other all in the name of love.

Please don't ruin Addison like you have already ruined Izzy and Derek.

Izzy needs to pay for what she did. Cutting that wire was dead wrong no matter how hard you try to make it into some simple intern mistake. And now you are traveling down the same road with Christina and Burke..can you not see this?

This show has jumped the shark.

[Lizzie D.]

"she’s feeling hella guilty "

HAH, HELLO FELLOW NORTHERN CALIFORNIAN!

Anyways, the episode, good, good, good. I loved it all, except for Derek, which I have to say, once again, I do not care about. At all. He is probably the most flawed character on the show, and what's worse, is the fact that unlike everyone else, he seems to be excused from it.
Everyone else has to face the music at some point or another about screwing up, but not Lord Derek, so it seems.
I reallly have no pity for him, He's too much of an a** most of the time for me to care any more.

As for the rest of the episode. Really good, I loved them ALL! Thanks for posting!

[Jessica]

Hmm...interesting episode. Truthfully, not one of my favourites or very easy to follow, but still...it's Grey's.

I liked the M&M, McAss=Dr. Savoy. What a jerk! And Bailey, ever so steadfast and fixing everything with the breast cancer mom. I loved the "I'm waiting for a question", and Alex's "You weren't the only one" at the end. I like Alex more and more these days. Which scares me, hahaha.

Callie...needs to sort herself out and realize that George and Izzie were friends first and Izzie is going through a tough time. I mean, he does what he can...he brought Beetle Jump AND fried chicken. And Callie...made stupid decisions with McSteamy. Shame.

Addison's confession was a bit awkward. Why NOW? Why TODAY? I GET that that she was feeling guilty about getting the Brownstone, but seriously? Addison is my favourite, but today there was...no tact. Nothing in today's episode that made me like her even more...except maybe the "swirl".

I think...if i could change one thing about the episodes of GA, even though they're already finished and filmed and shipped and whatever, I would start incorporating new things. Because the Mer-Der thing is getting old.

Addison and Derek broke it off. (tear)

Callie slept with McSteamy.

Izzie cut the LVAD.

Mer broke up with McVet.

Okay. We get it. things are kind of changing, but not really. All the relationships seem to be so static. it's kind of like the writers are just yelling "SWITCH!" and the characters change sexual partners. We need something to happen. Less sex, more medicine and interesting plot lines.

I KNOW you guys can do it. :) You've done it before.

[Kelly]

Aaah, I was wondering if you were the one who wrote it, what with the M&M. Brutal.

I'd really be interested to hear you write a bit about balancing reality with television, in a medical show. I'm just starting Turrow's "Playing Doctor", a book on television medical shows and accuracy (and a bunch of other things), and fully admit it's for research for a paper... while I have House squarely in my sights for the paper, I'd be curious to hear things from your side of the block, too.

Because, you know, I'm sure you have nothing better to do than answer the vague, curious questions of a curious grad student. ;)

[Jessica]

I agree with what Olivia said too. And Cristina needs some character development. After too mcuh of hearing "You're fine. You're fine. You're cleared for surgery, Burke. You're fine" It gets redundant and annoying...my eyes just glaze over. Cristina is really really becoming too persistent and annoying.

[Shannon]

YES, Grey's is seriously my guilty pleasure! I have to say I think we have been pretty darn patient, we have waited over a year for Derek and Meredith to get back together and be really happy. WHY do we have to keep waiting, I love this show but I don't think I can wait another year its really killing me. PLEASE do something with Meredith, she needs to do her hair and make-up. If you working with the man you love and his hot ex-wife and a bunch of other woman who would love to be with your man wouldn't you put a little effort in your apperance? I love how Christina has Burke's back or should I say right side, I love her character. Please don't make us wait much longer for Derek and Meredith. Oh and PLEASE have them sign really long contracts soon, I don't want them getting all these hot job offers and leaving us. Thanks.

[mon]

Im really glad mer and derek isnt getting together anytime soon, THANK YOU! those too are getting annoying and cheesy together! and its about time mer has some time alone!

[karen in WI]

Zoanne,
Excellent storylines all throughout tonight's episode. Many layers and for those of us that religiously tape Grey's weekly, those layers, when peeled, reveal much about the characters and truly invokes asking questions of one's own life. At least for me it does. Having had a Mother who died and didn't know she had Breast Cancer at 51 and having 2 Aunts that had Breast Cancer in their 30's (had masectomy's in 1970's) and a Grandmother that had Breast Cancer & Ovarian Cancer, I am so thankful that the staff was involved directly and indirectly with the young Mother. Chandra Wilson's performance and heart was nothing short of magnificent art. Thank you for including that in tonights show.
Having watched Season 1 in totality again this last week, it is amazing how you & the other writers continue to stay TRUE to the characters. Thank you.
Great job.
Thanks for the blog & insight. I am going to watch for moments to "swirl" & enjoy this coming week. Personally I loved the "McStuckeys". And their daughter, oh how great was that? Lessons to be had from everyone, even Dr. Savoy will have to reflect on the bedside manner of Dr. Bailey and know that medicine isn't just about the science. Great show! Not only does Grey's make for some great entertainment, it also has the creativity of talented writers, actors, crew & directors that help us all to ask questions that pertain to daily life.
Again, Zoanne, great job.

[dafne99]

I watched this epi in the OR waiting room while my hubby was having surgery so I can't say I devoted as much attention to the show as I normally do. I do want to say, though, that I LOVE the way all the characters still have things to learn about life no matter what stage they're at. And I love that they learn so much from their patients. I always learn things about myself by interacting with people and seeing myself in them. It's so great to watch a show where doctors are not so high and mighty that they can't see the truth in the lives of their patients and use those experiences to better themselves. Keep up the good work!

[Care]

Ok.. soo this episode was good!! My heart sank and I wanted to cry when I saw the previews for next week!!! That woman in Derek's trailer better be his long lost sister or else I'm gonna have nervous break down. Grey's has been my guilty pleasure from the start!! I really want to see Mer/Der together. They fit! They both have issues.. soo let them have them together!! No matter what the writers decided I will still sit inches away from the tv each week to watch the hour long episode... that really feels like 20 minutes. Some how I fell sitting closer to the tv makes me apart of the Grey's Family. Keep up the good work.. please end the Mer/Der saga soon. I don't know how much more I can take.

[McPissed]

Hey there,

Love the show. Love the writing. Pissed at McDreamy. Seriously?

I have O.C.D. for Grey's, but you are letting me down big time!!!! Stop dragging out Mer/Der!!! I feel like I am being played for a fool!!! If you are doing this for ratings...you are backwards!! This will make Grey's fans stop watching!! I feel guilty for saying this but what I loved about Grey's is being ruined..and I might stop watching!!!! PLEASE fix it!!!!!!!

[Beth]

Ugh...I know I have an abnormal attachment to GA (and also to my Tivo) but I felt like I got cheated on when I saw the promo of McHottie...can't a girl just believe in love on a freakin' television show and let it work out just freakin' once?!

[charlie]

Huge GA fan!!! Who's the doctor who grills Prestin in the m and m? Have we seen her before?

[Katie B.]

FANTASTIC blog!!!! Loved it! Actually haven't been able to watch the whole episode yet. I'll see it tomorrow. What I saw was fantastic. And, man-ho or not, I'm still in love w/ mcsteamy. Smokin' hot...

Thanks!!!

[tanisha]

Im sooooo lost right now. I understand whats going on but i just cant comprehend all of this. im glad Bailey stuck to her guns and treated her patients the way she would've normally....can we say...eff U doctor Savoy..

Im worried about Burke...Christina is loyal and all.....but her loyalty goes a bit far she wants him to be THE Preston Burke soo bad she's doing a few crazy things..but shes crazy anyway...

i hope Derek finds peace and finds Meredith but looking at next weeks previews....i doubt it..

I wanna know whats going to happen when Addison finds out about Mark and Callie....ooo DRAMA...

u gotta love it...its Grey's

[Theresa]

Grey's being my guilty pleasure is an understatement! It is like my ridiculous-need to get a life-sit on the couch all day watching-non stop message boarding-fanfic reading-sudden longing to become a doctor-obsessive quoting-.....guilty pleasure. Anyway, when Mer and Der were in the elevator, and he just said, "ok" I was like, and I quote, "AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!" But when you say that he felt betrayed by Mer also, it all sort of clicked, and now I am completely heart broken. I am more concerned with Mer's love life than my own, and now they still aren't together *sniff sniff* Anyway, I am so excited about the next episode, even though rumor has it that next week is a rerun and we have to wait 2 weeks to find out for sure who the mystery woman is. Anyway, loved the episode, but I must admit I am a little freaked out by the seemingly constant face close-ups. Like it is right up there in their faces. So basically, great job as always

[Alicia]

Loved this episode. Great writing. So many scenes had me laughing (mainly the McStuckeys) and so many had me crying (mainly Derek). Great great great. I love the range of emotion that I can get on Grey's. So loved this episode.

The Izzie story line was amazing. I think it's reall realistic to have her see a surgery again to make her realize how badly she wanted to do it. She was so scared to go back there, and really it's all she needed to realize what she wanted. And as insane as keeping that large of check on your fridge is, I get why she's doing it. So that worked so well.

George was so George this episode! I love him showing up at her hotel room with fried chicken of all things. And he seemed so overwhlemed and confused and George like.

And yet again, ADORING Alex this season. He really has grown so much, which I can say because the other day I did a whole season 1 marathon, and I love that about him. I loved that he stook up for Bailey, and then was the one to make Bailey feel less guilty. Great.

And poor Addison my bum. The only reason she came to find Derek was because Mark cheated on her. She ruined Derek and Meredith because Mark cheated on her. Not cool at all. She deserved to get kicked out of the city after that. Don't get me wrong, I like Addison, but she really annoyed me with that story. I can't believe she caused Derek so much pain because Mark cheated on her. Grrr.

And Derek and Meredith are breaking my heart. PLEASE PLEASE don't make this go on for much longer. I got them this episode, I really did. Meredith had the world's worst timing and Derek had so much on his mind when she told him, he couldn't react. But getting them doesn't mean that wasn't painful. Because it was. Crazy stupid painful. That was heartbreaking. Him standing there in tears knowing he could have lost her for nothing. Her trying to explain to him that she chose him. That hurt. I wanted to give them both huge hugs. They love eachother so much and this season has been even more painful than last season. Because now they know, they know they love eachother. Meredith knows he's the one, and he knows it too. They;re both single. But these stupid obstacles keep popping up, miscommnunications, bad timing, everything. And it's slowly killing me. Literally slowly killing me. I get it all, I really do. Because GA is realistic and nothing in life is easy. But can't this be just a little easier?? Please. Pretty please with a McDreamy on top. I want to see them happy and in love. And having sex all over the hospital. I need that. We all need that. I honestly believe Meredith and Derek are one of the most beautiful love stories ever on tv but please don't make them Ross/Rachel or Carrie/Mr.Big. Make them Mer/Der, a couple that actually gets a shot at that big love before the show goes off the air.

Because really Ellen Pompeo and Patrick Dempsey, they have the most amazing chemistry ever. Take advantage. Please take advantage!!

The first episode I ever watched was First Cut is the Deepest and I fell in love with the show at the elevator scene. They make GA for me. Please give me some mer/Der love!

And I realize even as I write this that there's a good possiblity that they are together already. And that you have more brilliantly things planned than I could imagine, which is why you write for the show and I only dream I did. But you know, just in case they still aren't together in whatever episode you're currently writing I felt the need to plead my case. Don't worry, 2 weeks fronm now I'll go back to purely gushing about how great the show is. Because it is.

[Karen M]

Oh god, that was a hilarious post: "For the love of Patrick's hair, put Mer/Der together!" :)

Yes, what was that teaser about some Ashley Judd lookalike lying on a bed with Derek? CUMON! I'd be willing to tolerate all these ups and downs a bit more if they'd only shown Mer/Der actually HAVING FUN for a few weeks! We saw them coming back from a date when McStalker jumped out of the bushes with his ice cream, and that was it.

I just melt whenever Derek looks at Mer. I'm willing to wait for them to be happy.

I think it'd be funny if a new character came on the show named McKnight, or McHenry, or McDonald.

[dlferriola]

Great episode and very sad for everyone. Poor Derek wasted a year of his life,and Meredith tells him she dumped Finn instead of telling him again that she loved him.I hope they get together soon. Baily and Alex rock.It was good that the Chief finally did something nice by talking Izzy out of quitting.

[MindyM]

I see that we have the holier than thou crowd out in force here on this blog. The way people talk about Der you would think he was a mass murderer or rapist. I am sick to death of reading all this trash about how bad Der is. Give the man a break for heaven's sake already. Look at what the guy has been through. Now he has to find out the real truth that Addy didn't have the guts to tell him a long time ago. She didn't tell him because she knew he would kick her to the curb for good. Why Addy gets credit for telling Der the truth after they are divorced and it's all over I am sure I don't know. Some people here are just blind, that's all. No matter how bad or immoral Addy is, she is still a wonderful woman. Please spare me. We now know that she was in love with Mark, it wasn't about Der at all. So she sleeps with him, Der catches them and runs off and they shack up together until Mark sleeps with someone else. Then Addy conveniently makes a cross country dash for Der to try to save her marriage, but she never tells him everything. If Der is flawed, then what in the world is Addy? So now he has this additional information to process and again he feels betrayed and rightly so. He must feel like the biggest fool on earth for giving Addy another chance. Unfortunately for Mer, her timing was bad. I am not even sure he heard her. It was an awkward scene. I wish Mer would have told Der when he asked about Finn, that was the time to do it, but it seems with these two their timing is always off. With the previews for next week's episode we see Der in a compromising situation with some new woman. This does not bode well for Mer/Der. So now the Der haters will have even more reason to spew out venom about him. I believe that Zoanne did mention that these characters are all flawed human beings like the rest of us. I don't think there is a book on how to deal with some of the stuff that happens to people on this show. Sometimes all they can do is try to cope with life and the bumps in the road along the way. I am one of those who has wanted to see Mer and Der together for a long time, but I hate to be redundant here. I don't want to beg. If you writers wanted them to be together, then they would be together. For some reason we must endure them apart. I love reading the heartfelt sentiments from those who want to see them have a real relationship. I have left it in the hands of the writers. But I am very disappointed and I don't think the direction these two are going in makes much sense.

Burke and Cristina are on a slippery slope and I don't think it bodes well for them. What he is doing is so wrong, it's scary. Cristina thinks she is helping, but she is just getting them both in deeper and deeper.

I do love Bailey, she really is the heart and soul of this show. She has heart and guts and that's a formidable combination. I love what Alex said to her at the end. He really is getting more human every week. It's so great to see.

I am glad that George and Callie broke up. They just weren't working together at all. I am still on the fence about Callie. I do understand why she broke up with George, but I still can't second guess his decision to be with Izzie. Maybe it was all the broken promises and not saying I love you and this was just the final straw.

I need to watch this episode again and then maybe I will have more thoughts to share.

[S. S.]

I love the writing on the show. It is the best around, HANDS DOWN! But, seriously?! The Merideth and Derek thing is starting to become a little rediculous. I think that the choice to move Derek in a different direction will actually turn people away from the show. Why can't they just grow together naturally? Why does it need to play like a game of ping pong? It causes the viewers to lose interest quickly, not to mention it makes their relationship seem unimportant which, in turn, makes me feel like their relationship should have never been introduced into the show. It seems like a waste.

[Liz]

It was great; funny, heartwarming, & heart breaking at times.
Although not one of my favorites, I can say that I was not bored while watching it. I am never bored with Greys.

Not everybody understands that if Meredith & Derek get together now, and stay together WITHOUT problems, the show would get boring. They need to be fighting & trying to get\stay together so there you go...a plus from me for not allowing him to say anything more than 'ok' in the elevator.

Many also think he was being a jerk, but they have to realize that for the past few months\year he has been trying to be with this woman who kept that secret from him & then in the end ran back to him (well to seattle) when she caught McSteamy cheating. I'd be ticked too, Mer just had bad timing.

I think Thursdays have really made Grey's better.
Keep up the good work!