Zoanne Clack on "Oh, the Guilt"

Original Airdate: 10-19-06

Admit it.  Grey’s Anatomy is one of your guilty pleasures, right?  Your curl-up-on-the-couch, unplug-the-phone, “get your own dinner” pleasure.  I could be wrong, but that’s what people tell me.  Don’t feel bad.  Some people’s guilty pleasures get them into much more trouble than watching Grey’s in the comfort of your home ever will.

Take Callie and George for example.  Callie’s got a new little guilty pleasure and his name is McSteamy.  Yowza.  That woman knows how to work it.  But now she’s got to work it out.  Work out the guilt.  She may have been trying to hide it, but she’s feeling hella guilty if you ask me.  I mean, let’s face it.  Her break up last week was not a lesson in communication.  Yeah, she can make the point that George should’ve known so she doesn’t have to feel guilty, but look at it from George’s point of view.  I could totally understand his… confusion!  That may be because, I, too, am no good at relationships.  Being, well, let’s say an “over-thirty-never-married-singleton” did not happen for no reason.  But, on the other hand, don’t you think George should’ve known?  He kept pushing her away, she was never a priority.  As far as she was concerned, it was over.  Not just I’m-mad-at-you-over.  Over over.  Is she wrong for that or completely justified?  Who’s to say…

And what about poor Addison?  She got kicked out of a city over her guilty pleasure.  She stayed with Mark!  She moved in with Mark!  She was IN LOVE with Mark!  Sure, she hoped against all hope that the love she and Derek shared would overrule the wrongs, but she mainly came to Seattle because Mark had cheated on her and she realized who he really was/is (which is, BTW, a MAN WHORE! - since he’s been in Seattle he’s slept with Addison, Callie and flirted with Mer, I think he pretty much fits the bill, towel and all). 

She didn’t want to tell Derek. She had to.  She knew she could lose everything.  But she faced Derek head on.  Nose to nose.  Eye to eye.  You’ve got to commend her for that.  Okay, she was coerced into it… a little.  Mark just wouldn’t let up!!  Not to mention she was face to face with the horrors of what guilt brings with her patients, Mr. and Mrs. McStuckey.  It’s so hard (although extremely brave) to look someone in the eye while confessing some truth you’ve been hiding from.  I mean, you’ve been hiding from it for a reason, right?  Guilt is a crazy powerful emotion.  Addison should be commended.  Except maybe for falling right back into the bed that got her in this mess in the first place.

Which brings me to my next point:  top five reasons you should not feel guilty about taking this hour out of your life to watch our show.

(1) You get to learn life lessons.  Yes, I’m the doctor-writer on the show but I’m not talking medical things, I’m talking life lessons.  Things that pertain to all of us somehow, someway.  Not in every episode for every one of us, but I think if you look back, you’ll find some reflection of yourself in at least one of the characters or situations.

For me, in this episode, the thing that became plainly obvious when we started writing is that we didn’t need some big huge reason for Mrs. McStuckey to need to tell her husband.  Did I mention guilt is a crazy strong emotion?  My learning point for this episode: the truth just has to come out.  It just has to. 

(2)  You get to see that there are people in the universe more flawed than you!  (not that anyone who watches GA is flawed… you’re all fantabulous!)  Everyone’s looking for perfection and I think our show pretty much lets you know:  there is no perfection, just levels of flawed humanity.  And our characters have that down ten-fold.  And as much as you may hate to admit it, I think most people can see just a little piece of themselves in at least one character.  I, for one, like Meredith more the more I get to know her.  Yeah, she’s got issues.  Big ones.  Gargantuan ones.  She makes bad decisions.  Really bad.  Phenomenally bad.  But who am I to say if given her situation I’d cope better?  Which leads to reason number 3…

(3)  You get to learn to move with your whole body.  Okay, I’ll admit it.  That one I learned from some wise person on “Dancing With the Stars.”  But Alex said it, too:  live your life while you can.  Mer would’ve done well to apply that philosophy and just let out the truth!  Instead, she decides to put it all on the line right after Addison dropped her truth on Derek!  He was not in any space to hear that she, too, had betrayed him all day long.  And what did she get in return?  Yep.  A whole lot of nothing.  Because even the McDreaminator is flawed.  He, too, has issues.  Deep issues.  He thought had come to terms with them.  He was trying to stand up for his mistakes.  Trying to pay for his guilt by giving Addison everything so that all would be right with the world again.  But guilt is not really accustomed to being bribed.

(4) You get to learn money management.  What would you do if you got $8.7 million dollars from out of the blue?  Spend it all?  Invest it? Travel?  Or put it up on the fridge?  I bet "put it up on the fridge" was not your answer.  What is she thinking LEAVING AN 8 MILLION DOLLAR CHECK ON THE FRIDGE??!!  But that’s just it, isn’t it?  She’s not thinking.  She’s not, people!  She hasn’t gotten as far as thinking.  It’s blood money!  This money is laced and interwoven with the finest 100% silk guilt!  Perfectly fine Izzie isn’t perfectly fine.  Yes she finally was able to go into the hospital.  Yes she talked to the chief about coming back.  But wouldn’t it be more fun to move to the islands off the coast of Belize and be Leo DiCaprio’s island neighbor?  Hmmm….

(5) You can be inspired.  Bailey inspires me.  Almost weekly.  She’s so amazing both in character and in real person-ville.  Boy did she get put through the ringer in this one.  Every possible way.  She got attacked personally, politically, and professionally.  The three “p’s” we like to say here at Grey’s.  Okay actually that’s not true, I just made that up.  But I digress.  Personal:  being a new mom.  Political: your interns have no respect for your authority (in front of your bosses, no less).  Professional:  your hormones affecting your judgment.  Show of hands for who would’ve just packed it up in the middle of M&M and given it back to Burke?  Or better yet, walked down from the podium, stood up on a chair, and punched Dr. Savoy dead in the face? 

But Bailey was steadfast, she held her ground.  In true Bailey style.  But it got to her.  She actually let it affect her patient care.  Things can get to even the toughest of us.  The question is, do we come out the other side?  Or do we let guilt win?  Do we let our own insecurities (and those insecurities that are thrust upon us by others) bring us down?  Well, if we take a lesson from Bailey we sure as hell don’t.  You get your “3 p’s” back in order.  Kind of like getting your chakras in order, but different on a same kind of level.  And it doesn’t hurt to get a little justification from a friend (which in this case, happened to be Alex, whose just a teddy bear inside).

(6) You can realize that maybe your day-to-day issues aren’t as terrible as they seem.  I mean, nobody’s gonna die if you filed the wrong folder, right (I mean, literally)?  You didn’t think I’d forgotten about the Burktina of it all, did you?   It was Burke’s first surgery… he HAD to go in.  He could either live with the guilt of watching Mr. McStuckey quickly exsanguinate (doctor talk for “bleed to death”) on the table while they waited for another surgeon to come in or he could get in there and do what needed to be done.  There’s that lingering question of “is he ready.”  Cristina assures him she’ll be there.  On his right side.  They saved this life together.  They pulled it off.  They are in love, they’ll make this work, but when do you draw the line with love?  Kind of makes the decision of which wallpaper to pick a little less life-altering, doesn’t it?

(7) You get to learn new vocabulary.  There was the roll-off-the-tongue “seriously.”  Then the infamous “vah-jay jay.”  Now I challenge you to use “swirl” in everyday conversation.  And I’m loving the re-introduction of 70’s phenom “chump.”

Yeah, yeah I know.  Not five reasons.  Whatever.  All I can say is, if Grey’s is your guilty pleasure in life, I think you can feel pretty good about it.  At least you won’t end up stuck on your spouse, being pulverized at an M&M, or getting kicked out of a city.  At least I hope not.

-Zoanne

Comments

[andiepie]

I am a baseball fanatic as much as a Grey's fan. My team: The Cardinals. (They won by the way) But I missed most of the game and got into a familial fight because I HAD to watch Grey's Anatomy. And I have no guilt about it.

[sarah]

MEREDITH AND DEREK NEED TO GET TOGETHER AND AT LEAST KISS. the last time they even kissed was the second season finale...please fix that.

[lisa]

great episode! i have some ideas on what Izzy can use the $$ for:
1: donate it all to the hospital in denny's name for a new cardiac wing
or
2: pay off all the other interns student loans
or
3: open up a bakery for herself

I also want to know what is happening with the dr weber and adell? know one has gone back to that issue in a while.
I also just knew you were panning over to callie and not addison in the last seen with mcsteamy..good one.

keep up the great guilty pleasure!

[Sarah Sailorscully]

Grey's is actually my "curl up on the floor of my sparsely decorated college apartment, with my giant comforter, with ice cream and a gin-bucket" guilty pleasure. Except I feel no guilt, here. NONE.

(maybe that's the gin talking.)

anyways, excellent job this week, guys!

[tobywoo]

Okay SERIOUSLY! I am done with this. This is the weakest excuse to keep us watching. Write a story like you mean it. You are fantastic writers and you can afford to get Mer/Der together. The unrequited love thing, it's so been done to death. I will be done watching Grey's if you keep this up. And that's why I am so mad. I love this show. It's one of three, 3 , that I actually find good enough to look for and sit still to watch. I eat popcorn. It's supposed to be a happy thing, and how has it been ending lately... I am mad, mad screaming at the t.v. like a lunatic mad, mad like a two year old without a nap. I am certain that you all can write a better story than this. Go for it! You can do it. I stopped watching many a show for having the two love interests ALMOST get together every 5th show. Just stop already.
And I love that Callie has the decency to do the right thing and break up with George. Good end to that.
Mc Steamy..hahaha I can't wait till Addison finds out what he has been doing without her!
But seriously, seriously, stop making me mad and fix Mer/Der.

[Jenny C, NC]

This episode was pretty good, although i am so sick of the dragging out of the mer der thing, i know it makes good television and it keeps people watching, but enough!!! can they just be together already!!!
And Iw as so disspointed in addison at the end of the episode, i mean come on have some deof respect he may be hot but he is a man whore.... i mean i thought maybe they woud have a relationship but now we know he slept with someone else and cheated on grogous addison.....i mean come on now
love greys, love it, there is a shrine to it on my wall of pictures so don't get me wrong i am an ultimtae fan which makes it even more painful to wait each week (and now TWO WEEKS!!! what is up with that!) to finally see what happens next..
I hate that i am so obsessed it is exhasting!

[Angela T]

"Because even the McDreaminator is flawed."

EVEN? HAHAHA! If there's one character that is so obviously flawed, even though I guess I'm supposed to be shocked that his lordship is human, it's Derek not at all Dreamy Shepard. Meredith didn't *betray* him at all. And, yes, Addison stayed with Mark (after Derek had already left) and it's one thing to be angry, but he has no right to be so self righteous, and her faults don't excuse him emotionally cheating on her after she came to Seattle. His cheating with Meredith happened way before the prom, they just hadn't done it sexually. That's the problem with how Derek is written. It's not Derek is a human being who is a good man, but also screws up and lashes out at people and is human. It's EVEN Derek is flawed. Would that even be said about anyone else on the show? This is why I can't stand him. I'd like to see his behavior taken to task and not have an episode where it seems that I'm being told, "but look at how horrible Addison was. Don't you feel so sorry for poor poor Derek." Addison has flaws and she screwed up, but she's a great character, she takes her hits and it's never written that her mistakes are supposed to be overlooked. Her good characteristics aren't put on in a sympathy ploy. Which is why I like her.

But, forget about Derek. He doesn't even make the list of my reasons for watching. Lets get on with the good stuff. Alex is a fantastic character. He's growing as a doctor and a person, while still being Alex. I love his inner struggle with his true professional path. He has learned a lot from Addison, he's interested in gynecology, and has a knack for it (or possibly pediatrics, with his ability with kids) but he still has this image and has his heart set on plastic surgery. But, he'll see where his talents truly place him (at least, I hope this is where things are headed). I loved his interaction with Bailey tonight. He defended her in an in character way.

And, Bailey is wonderful. Words can't describe her.

I also loved Burke laying into Izzie. First, because someone needs to be angry with her as well as feeling bad and guilty they didn't do anything. I'm not expecting real legal repercussions, but thanks for at least someone being angry with her. Also, I appreciate the scene because it seems like Burke is so isolated from the rest of the cast this season except Christina. I want to see him with everyone. And, please, make Burke use his words. His hand is not fine, and even if people are assuming it is and saying how great it is that he's back, he still needs to speak up.

[Elle]

You keep talking about how the characters have flaws. Well that is true but this show was different than alot of other shows, it had a certain level of class. Now that all the characters seem to be sleeping with random people left and right its getting less interesting and too much like every other show on TV. This is the first time I watched this show Im addicted to, and been disapointed. Every other time I watch it it makes me feel something either happy or sad in a good way that attaches you to the characters. I don't even want to watch next week and see Dr McDreamy sleep with just some chick. Why??? thats all I can say...

[Kristina]

Ok, I'm upset. I'm really quite upset with this episode.

A) the guilt thing ran through - I get that, but other than that is was all over the place. Incoherent. And why all of a sudden does everyone seem to care about their guilt anyway? They've been guilty forever.

B) Why didn't Meredith tell Derek about Finn when he asked how Finn was? Up until that point she hadn't lied. He walked away; she didn't owe him any explanation. But the adult thing to do - the mature thing to do would have been to say "I don't know. I haven't talked to him in a few days."

C) Meredith and Derek - they're soulmates, as much as I don't believe in that crap. They are, and I feel like after she started babbling on the elevator she would have asked him WHY HE WAS CRYING! And she wouldn't have blurted it all out. That was awkward and unrealistic.

D) If Derek is really going to sleep and/or think about sleeping with some other woman, I'm pissed. You can't do that. You just can't. Because if you do, I'll have to give up Grey's Anatomy and I live in Alaska where I have no friends (I'm on a one year internship) and Grey's gets me through the day and I have been a fan since day one - the pilot episode and if you take this away from me it will not be pretty. You are losing McDreamy. Duh - he's flawed, we get that. He can be flawed and still be McDreamy. BUT HE CAN'T SUCK AND STILL BE MCDREAMY. Stop making him suck and stop dragging this on.

I try to find the bright side - I support Grey's and the integrity of these characters 100%, and you are messing with that. Burke, great this episode. Izzie, great. George and Callie - great. But you are messing up Mer and Der so badly it isn't even funny. Knock it the heck off.

[shelley]

OH MY GOD IZZIE IS BACK
YAH

it was heart renching, she wasn't herself, just blurted out anything she thought of with everyone there, but everyone will forgive her. And at lunch when they were talking about surgery and her eyes welled up ...awwww. And wow the burke talk that was intense, this whole episode was intense. the M&M thing before it started was so funny, but then in was about izzie and it was like CRAP. and when izzie showed up so suddenly behind Alex ... i was watching with about 7 people and everyone Gasped... I was like, this is what makes good television .

so way to go

[Sarah]

I am not sure I care about much else, I just wanted to comment on the Addi/Derek scene in
this epsisode.

Basically, I admire Addison for admitting to the affair. She didn't want to, she knew what would happen, and it did, but she did it because she
a) couldn't live with the guilt, b) knew she owed it to Derek to tell the truth, c) she didn't want to make her relationship with Mark seem less than it was, which was an actual relationship.

I don't know if she really loved him, I think she tried to love him, she wanted to, she tried to make it into more than just "the affair that wrecked her marriage". But then it was Mark who f-ed that up, cause Addison caught him withsomeone else as well. Which was his bad. But what it comes down to is that I love her all the more for what she did.

Pehaps the most interesting thing for me was that that Derek was SO affected by Addison's statement he totally blew off Meredith. Derek who claims to be desperately in love with Meredith, so in love with her that he walked away. I mean, if what Mark said about him thinking about the wasted time was true, then why didn't he jump on Meredith when she told him she wasn't with Finn? There is some emotion still left between Derek and Addison, most def. Whether it is hatred, betrayal or pain, it's still strong enough to overpower what he feels for Meredith. Hatred isn't the opposite of love, ignorance is. If Derek hadn't cared about what Addison said, then I would be convinced that they are done, but he cared, he cared a LOT!
Yea, that's just my two cents.

[famousARTIST]

Oh, Zoanne. That was such a good episode, and here I am already full of worry about Mer finding Der with McHot. Ouchies.

I am so glad, however, that Der didn't just say "oh Boy!" and jump into bed with Mer. Der has some baggage, and t seems like he wants to act out sexually.n It is such a vicious cycle and I hope Mer and Der can give it another try..

Thanks for such a great episode.''

[Abigail]

This was wonderful to read - thank you for taking the time to write it!

[Kryss]

First, thanks for writing an episode with a woman (Callie) who takes what she wants without apologizing. Sure, she had George right there where she wanted him, finally paying attention, but she didn't cave because she knew she deserved better than part-time.

Next, thanks for not mentioning the recent news involving TR. Although we've all come to care about the cast, it makes me happy that the importance revolves around whether Derek will be over Addison enough to return to Meredith or how long before someone discovers how Cristina is helping Burke.

Lastly, here's to Alex, for ponying up to Bailey for his part of not stopping the Denny fiasco. He's finally looking out for someone other than himself when he has nothing to gain!

Thanks for a great episode!!!

[cristina]

Awesome blog! (Anyone that says "hella" on a blog this famous is forever awesome.) Great writing, kudos to all. :-)

I just kept shouting to Izzie, "give the money to the hospital or to research for Denny's condition! But demmit go back to work, Doc!"

The Burketina surgery...SO agonizing to watch, I almost missed Izzie's reaction to it. But flashing back to when Burke came clean to the Chief about his relationship w/Cristina. By the way Shonda - thanks for spelling her name [like mine]! (haha) I love their dynamic and can't wait to see it unfold further.

Another thing on my LONG list of "What I love about Grey's Anatomy" is that somehow, all the characters find a way to express themselves. Even if those truths come late, in the case of Alex and Bailey (priceless), or unexpectedly, with Addie/Der/McSteamy; or right on time, between Burke and Izzie. No matter what, the conversation happens. And we, your loving audience, get to see and stew and squeal over it.

Last but not least - McSteamy as the man-whore...sad but true, or so it seems? Will we get to see more of the dark and twisty side that made him that way? Tonight's ep definitely brought him down from Mt. Olympus with a *thump*. Yet he steams on...

[Beth]

Could the writing team please stop comparing Izzie's decision to cut the LVAD and further damage Denny's heart with simple mistakes made by learning interns? They're really, really not alike and I think it's weird how this serious breach in ethics is being brushed off like it's a regrettable learning experience.

[hali]

let me just say that callie doesn't owe george anything. no explanation,nothing. callie is too good for him anyway. the show was much better when mer/der wanted each other but couldn't. the forbidden fruit was much more exciting. now it's just, eh. and the 8 mil? come on, i dont care how "not okay" izzie is, no one with common sense would act like that with 8 mil. Hel-lo!

[Caitlin]

Awesome episode, though that M&M was just brutal. As a Denny fan, it was hard to watch Bailey take all of that. I definitely would have slugged Dr. McNeedsToShutHisFace right in the nose. ;)

[Ashley Matthau]

I am the biggest GA fan, but i was REALLY dissapointed with this episode!! And the preview for next week, where McDreamy is with McHottie!!! Why can't Der/Mer get together already? I feel like it is being dragged out!! It's in danger of jumping the shark!! I can't believe that Derek is going to cheat on Merideth!! You had us believing that he was in love with her (even when he was with addison). People in love don't do that! Derek walked away because he didn't want to hurt her and was in love her, but i guess it is not as important as getting it on with Mchottie. I love the sweet and voulnerable Derek not what you have made him to be! PLEEASSEEEE have them get together already and stop dragging it out!!!!

[J.P. from California]

I'm worried that Grey's is going to flop. The storyline had so much potential with Meredith's mother and Meredith finding out about her step sisters. I don't feel like Callie's character would just sleep with Mark. I didn't feel like that made sense. This just isn't what Grey's was about. I loved Season 1 and 2 and the first two episodes of the third season, but the ones after the second episode just didn't seem like Grey's. I felt this was true because it seemed to have too much going on at the same time. There was already a good amount of things to worry about. The conversations between the characters also seemed a little different than before. A little less mature. I'm sorry. I love Grey's and I understand if you don't post this. But please know that I still love Grey's (i'm just concerned) and will continue to watch. Keep on trying.

[Olivia]

There is so much about the writing for this show that confounds me...

First of all, the revisionist inconsistent crap. Okay, so now Derek and Mark grew up together and have known each other "all their life..." So can someone tell me how Richard, Derek and Addie's close friend and mentor, had no clue who the hell Mark was in "Yesterday" last year? One would think that somewhere along the line, Mark and Richard would have at least heard about each other, even if they hadn't met.

And the up and down with the characters' personalities... last week, Derek witnesses' this huge moment of acceptance from Addison about Meredith with her whole "don't hurt her" moment, and yet he has the unmitigated gall to be so angry with her about the affair he NEVER wanted to discuss even when she tried to get him to talk about it that he tells her he wishes he never had to see her again? Yeah, Derek, I wish I never had to see you again -- I wish you would go away and take Meh with you and leave GA in peace, but it looks like we're both outta luck.

And seriously, that slow, dramatic instrumental music they're playing under the Derek and Meredith scenes? Like they're in a John Jakes or Herman Wouk miniseries about the greatest love story ever told? KILL ME NOW.

And then this ridiculousness with Mark -- if he's just the male Meredith who sleeps with everything that moves -- without even a fraction of the soul we've seen in even Alex Karev, then I'll never want him anywhere near Addison anymore than I want Derek the WonderJerk anywhere near her.

And Burke? I'm REALLY supposed to believe that Preston Burke would risk patients lives this way? There has never, ever been anything in this man's character that indicated this before, and it's galling to me that you'd do this to him.

Frankly, the only people on this show I actually like anymore are Addison, Callie and, I can't even believe I'm saying this, but Alex. Addison continues to be the best person in freaking SGH at all times showing class when I'd take Derek Shepherd and throw him over a railing, Callie is too good for all these idiots, and at least Alex is consistently Alex.

This show needs some cohesiveness and organization STAT!

[J.P. from California]

"Could the writing team please stop comparing Izzie's decision to cut the LVAD and further damage Denny's heart with simple mistakes made by learning interns? They're really, really not alike and I think it's weird how this serious breach in ethics is being brushed off like it's a regrettable learning experience." -Beth (October 19, 2006 10:32 PM)

I'm sorry, but as a fan who loves Grey's and is concerned about the show. I'd have to agree completely. I know the writing team can do so much better. I really like what you've done in the past!

[cristina again]

...not being a writer, I'm not sure how "long" it's supposed to take to get the character's lives back on track...especially b/c time passes more slowly on the show than in real life. But all this exposition can't go on forever. Reach back to the Season 1 roots and just go for it! Don't save it all for sweeps!! OK thanks :-)

[Mardia]

I don't know if you realize just how hateful Derek has become to me right now. Yes, I said hateful, not flawed.

Because he's a self-righteous mysogynistic jack*** who doesn't deserve Meredith and DEFINITELY didn't deserve Addison. Apparently he can cheat on whoever he likes, but when the women do the same, they're whores.

And if Mark's going to be a jack*** too, then I don't see why he's even on this show. I, for one, think Addison is more awesome than half the characters on the show, and she deserves a devoted guy that won't cheat on her.

And for crying out loud, why are you having Bailey take the heat for Izzie's actions. Izzie lost her mind and broke the law and KILLED A GUY. I don't see why Bailey has to take the fall for it. Izzie knew what she was doing, she just didn't care, and you cannot convince me that that girl should be a surgeon.

[Liza]

Oooooh this show frustrates me sometimes! I wish someone on staff would be assigned to "Timeline/Continuity" duty because every episode this season has had some glaring time inconsistencies. According to tonight, in the 2-3 weeks it took for Mer to recover from her appendectomy, Addison and Derek's divorce was finalized? No way, writers.