Some thoughts on Meredith, Derek, and faith...

"Save Me"

Original Airdate 5/15/05

Two more episodes from season 1 will air tonight. The first episode was written by the ultra-talented Mimi Schmir, who also wrote season 2's episode "Let it Be." You might remember "Let it Be" because it includes the single most memorable Meredith-Derek moment in the whole series -- when he's behind her in the elevator, only inches away, trying with all his might not to touch her because he's already chosen to stay with Addison. Meredith: "I miss you." Derek: "I can't."  It's a painful moment not just for them, but for every viewer rooting for them.

On the other hand, when "Save Me" first aired last year, it had no such painful moment.  It had the exact opposite.  The big scene at the end between Meredith and Derek -- the one where we see his trailer for the first time -- is romantic and sweet and refreshing. No pain to be found.

Throughout the episode, Meredith wants to know more about Derek.  They're finally in what looks like an actual relationship -- but she doesn't even know where he lives.  What his family is like. What kind of music he listens to.  Nothing. Who is this guy who's been waking up next to her in bed for a week?

And that leads up to this great Meredith and Derek scene. (here's the actual page from the script)

EXT. FIELD - NIGHT

Derek and Meredith walk through the field.  The stars are out.  He marches her up to an Airstream trailer which is parked on the grass.  Its lights are on. 

     MEREDITH
Where are we?

     DEREK
Shut up.  -- My mother's maiden name is Maloney. 
I have four sisters, eight nieces and five nephews.
I like coffee ice cream, single malt Scotch and
occasionally a good cigar.  I fly fish, I cheat when I
do the Sunday crossword puzzle and I don't dance
in public.  My favorite color is blue.  And not that
light blue.  Indigo.  The Sun Also Rises?  Favorite
novel.  The Clash?  Favorite band.  This tiny little
scar by my nose?  That's why I don't ride motor-
cycles anymore.  And I live in that trailer!  And
all this land is mine and I have no idea what I'm
gonna do with it!!  That's it, that's all you've earned. 
For now.  The rest...well, the rest you'll have to
take on faith.

Beat.  He searches her face.  Hopeful.  Waiting to see what she'll do.

     MEREDITH (V.O.)
Once in a while, people may even take your breath away.   

She holds out her hand.  He takes it. 

     MEREDITH
Nice castle.

And they go inside.

     MEREDITH (V.O.)
That's what you have to believe.

Shonda tells us that Grey's Anatomy is about fairy tales.  That scene could be the end of one. In an episode about Faith, Meredith finally learns to have some faith of her own. Faith in Derek.

However, that faith is tested in a later episode, "Raindrops Keep Falling on My Head." When Derek takes Meredith back to his trailer, he tells her just how badly Addison hurt him, why he had to leave New York, and what Meredith has meant to him since he arrived ("You were like coming up for fresh air," he says).

And remember what Meredith says?  "That's not enough."

And remember how you shouted at your screen "NOT ENOUGH?!? HOW CAN THAT NOT BE ENOUGH!?!?"

The above scene is why Meredith says that.

"The rest...well, the rest you'll have to take on faith."

That is why this scene is so painful to watch now -- just as painful as the elevator scene in "Let it Be" -- because we know what "the rest" is.

Not only did Derek not tell Meredith about Addison, but he told her everything except that, and then asked her to have faith in him.

And when Meredith takes his hand, she's believing in him.

And then in the next episode the fairy tale comes crashing down.

I don't know about you, but if that were me, I'd have trouble ever trusting that man again...  Just something to keep in mind, not just as you rewatch the episode tonight, but, well, as you watch every episode that comes after (including those for this upcoming season).

-Eric

Comments

[zoe]

hey eric, you better give mer a reason to trust derek again. (c'mon, your name rhymes with his, you HAVE to)

and although derek says no dancing in public, let's see him in some *dirty* dancing okay? have you seen some of PD's earlier movies? specifically "Life in the Fast Lane?" he looks very hot grinding in leather, and if you want to keep up with CSI, well, you know what to do eric, come on, buddy. give us some PD in leather, and we'll give you ratings. maybe even more emmy's.
Thanks!

[Elizabeth]

Whoa....my stomach hurts now after reading that post. This is going to be long, so please hang in there with me!! I'm trying to be mature and remember this is just a television show and not real, but I have something to say about faith too....the faith you have asked of us as viewers.
During season one, we rode along with Meredith as she fell in love with Derek, little by little as he pursued her......and us, the viewer. Then at the end of the season, you asked us to have faith in you over the summer, to wait and not jump to conclusions until we heard the other side, Derek's side. You did that to pull us back in the fall and give you the ratings you needed.....and we did come back, in droves. Then we painfully watched all second season as Meredith dealt with her hurt, shattered faith and trust, in some good and many more not so good ways. We watched as Derek had to live with the fallout of his deception by not being happy, becoming a weak man, and by watching him do the right thing by staying with someone he had fallen out of love with. In this same season, where you could have given them hurt, pain, but allow them to move on in different directions and grow alone, you kept throwing in those "stolen moments" of glances, looks and desire for each other over and over. Again, it kept us watching and your ratings up, while asking us to have faith that although they were hurting, they still loved each other and things would be alright. The elevator scene where she says "I miss you" and he says "I can't"......the feelings, the anguish, they said real love, not lust. You confirmed for us that there was a real relationship between them, not just a fling. Real relationships, real love survives.......it's what faith has asked us to believe.
Then, you suddenly had them part (after the whore comment) and seem to move on, you wanted us to like Addison and brought in a Vet you asked us to adore. Just when we started to accept that (and confirmed it with the gut hurting death scene with Doc) you delivered to us a beautifully romantic, hot & sexy, all enveloping moment of reunion between them......letting us know they were not moving on alone in opposite directions of each other.
You have now asked us, once again, to have faith all summer long. To wait and let you prove that you haven't been just teasing us, stringing us along for ratings with all those stolen moments....that you understood and would acknowledge the depth of emotion we feel for Meredith & Derek.
After each episode lately, there has been an ad asking us to go to your web site and watch the Snow Patrol video. Even though there were many other memorable and awesome show moments involving other characters on that video.....what are the three scenes you chose to advertise it with on television? Derek grabbing Meredith & Kissing her mouth, the close up of him kissing her neck, and the one of him kissing her upward through the top of her dress. Why???? To remind us what is waiting for us if only we return to you once again in Sept and give you another year....you are giving us faith to believe in the re-coupling of Meredith and McDreamy.
So, indeed, I am trusting you....and keeping the faith you have asked me to have. Faith that you will allow this couple to finally be together and work things out, allowing them AND us to move on. I'm not thinking it is going to be smooth sailing for them, there is a lot of things they have to work through. Yes, you are exactly right about the faith issue between them, Derek asked her to have it, she did and he yanked it back away. But true faith means you keep believing and learning. It would be more a testament to faith to show the aftermath of cheating, then let the healing and reunion take place between two people who obviously love each other.....to allow Meredith to become a stronger woman and Derek to understand himself more. It would allow Addison to have some dignity and watch a bad marriage heal into a friendship of forgiveness. It may take all season long for this to happen, but we do not want to be left wondering anymore....we want to see them back together early in the season, working things out.
So I am going to assume I took that posting the wrong way, that you were not telling us that things weren't going to work out after two seasons of asking us to believe it would and to stay with you. There may be a lot of people here that hope they are over, but there are many, many, many, many more who feel like I do, who love them and want them to be together. We feel we have been asked to have faith, and we have been patient. This was a long post and I'm sorry to be so worked up over something that isn't real, but really...isn't that what you strive for? It may seem by writing this that I am not happy with you, but that isn't true. I think you are all brilliant writers and thank you for giving us a show that evokes so much emotion. It may be immature to write all of this, but oh well....that's what makes the world an interesting place! :)

[Constance]

I agree that Meredith and Derek must be kept apart, or the whole show is over. No matter how much we might yearn to see them together. But more importantly she needs to develop some back bone or our sympathy for Derek's betrayal will turn into impatience.

I must admit that I thought Kyle Chandler could have been The One for Meredith. Why did he have to die???!!! That was much more upsetting than Izzy's beau.

[Amanda]

OHHH COMME ON....what happened to the all consuming love...he didnt realize he was in that love until christmas time.... eric, shonda, people of the world...let us live in fairy tale land for a little bit longer. yes i want to see derek beg like a pathetic person but we need it to happen. and what if derke meant by the your just going to have to take it on faith that the addison thing was something they could overcome together (underestimating his need to be the stupid nice guy!).

[J Ro]

First, thank you to all the writers for the blogs. They bring great insight and a wonderful look into the structure of the whole series.

Second, I agree with a lot of what Lorena said, especially with Meredith's recovering process. The time constraints are different, and though everyone senses how much she misses Derek, we wouldn't hear half as much of her "complaining" if she weren't the narrator.

Third - oh man, maybe I shouldn't have started with this whole listing thing - I was enthralled by the culminating Mer/Der scene in the elevator, but for different reasons. Yes, it was crafted beautifully by the cast, crew, writers, etc., but it really hearkened back to an acting exercise I went through. It was a nine-line scene between two people from the cherry orchard, and that one, like this, held layers of emotion in so little time and few words. I just thought it was fantastic.

And finally, hrm ... damn, I had something else ... oh! I got my sister, who was completely against the series, turned into a full GA addict in the first five episodes. She's going to buy Season 2, make her way through it and record Season 3 so that she'll be all caught up - quite a feat for her.

So yeah. Careful how you yield this series; it's seriously potent stuff! :)

[Lydia (KatherineHeiglisMyHeroAgmail.com) <-- Because she totaly is!!]

Ok, am I crazy? I think I am at least a little bit "off". I was watching this episode, and I love the physic guy. The best is the coconut extract part, but back to the point. Izzie makes cupcakes!!! I know there is this whole other story line with her mom and the physic guy, but that’s not my point. My point is that all episode, Izzie was making, eating and/or talking about this crazy delicious looking cupcakes. I wanted a cupcake. I needed a cupcake. I was having cupcake fantasies. I was screaming at Izzie. AGGHH, I needed a cupcake! I chocolate cupcake, with a white squiggle. You can buy the packaged ones, but they are just not the same. Too processed. They don't look or taste like Izzie's either. Or, what in my head I know Izzie's cupcakes must taste like. Heaven. Anyway, I was going mad. And I had to do something about it. So, while watching Izzie, and the episode after that, because it took me awhile, I made cupcakes. I actually got off my butt and went into the kitchen and made cupcakes. I even made homemade white icing, so I could get that perfect squiggle. It took me like an hour, but I wanted those cupcakes. I would not let a fictional character show me up. Especially one who was like totally gorgeous, and great doctor to boot. So I have no clue where she found the time to make batch after batch of chocolate cupcakes. But yet she is not perfect.... that’s why I love this show. Ok, so my Izzie cupcakes, they turned out pretty damn good. They are all chocolatey, and moist, and pretty. But they are missing something. And I knew what it was! Coconut extract. I didn’t need a physic gut to tell me that. But we didn't have any handy like Izzie does. I almost cried. We had vanilla, orange, and lemon, but no coconut. You can’t have orange in a chocolate cupcake, because that’s just wrong! I put a tablespoon of vanilla in, just because I desperately needed to pour a tablespoon of something in. Ya know, just for the sake of balance. And I was not going to drive 20 miles into town at 10:00 at night to get coconut extract. I love the show, but seriously? Gas is like $5 a gallon. Anyway, I frosted the cupcakes with all this fudgey goodness, and I was ecstatic to put the white squiggles on. I practiced on a plate and everything. But the icing I made was to "liquidy". The squiggles I made just ran into blobs and off the cupcake. I had a bag full of icing though, so what was I going to do with it? I couldn't just through it away after I had spent a half an hour getting those egg whites into "stiff peaks" Yeah, well let me tell you something, stiff peaks are crap. Just crap. Anyway, I arranged my cupcakes on a fancy plate thing, and just drizzled the white icing over the top of all of them. What was I supposed to do? I couldn't waste it, but the squiggles were ruining my beautiful cupcakes. I didn't even bother to eat one. They looked so nice and peaceful all on the plate together. So I just left them in the middle of my table. It’s a wonderful centerpiece. Someone will eat one, but I just can't bring myself to do it. Well, I am now "sticky" to say the least. If you remember, ask the person who made the cupcakes on your show how they got that perfect squiggles. And send a recipe my way if ya have one! Love the show, even though it gives me deranged cupcake cravings!

~Lydia

[DSBS]

That's a nice way to put it, and thank you for sharing your thoughts with us in this blog.

I did just want to point out that I enjoyed this one in particular because it discussed some momentous events in the series, it wasn't patronizing or full of squeeing, and it thoughtfully pointed out some things the audience might *not* already know or have noticed in an interesting and friendly manner. It was incredibly enjoyable to read (though short!), and I wish more of the blogs were like this, although I understand you can't do it every week while trying to avoid spoilers.

This is my summer vacation, so thank you for giving me something to do, even though you could be enjoying yours :)

To the rest of you - I don't really think this puts an end to Mer/Der any more or less than what's been happening on the show. It's just added insight to a parallel moment in two excellent episodes. Calm down! It's too hot for this sort of excitement.]

Anyway, this is getting long. Please forgive any spelling errors!

[Akilah]

You mean there are people that FORGOT Derek lied to Meredith? Huh. One of the reasons I can't stand Derek is that he never told her he was separated and before that he kept DOGGEDLY pursuing her, knowing that he wasn't giving her full information, when she told him that she didn't want to enter into a relationship with him.

It must be nice having that kind of amnesia...

[Rachel]

NOOOOO Meredith and Derek have to be together!!! Oh my god I am seriously going to cry my eyes out if Shonda doesn't let them be together!! I know that it will take A LOT for Mer and Derek to trust eachother again but that's not the point...these two characters are made to be together!! They are the hopefullness of people everywhere who are looking for that one person out there who completes them. Meredith and Derek are perfect together...like a perfect square fitted togetehr. And yes this squares has rough edges and corners but when it comes together it makes a perfect square. Okay that was total and complete rambling but I cannot not tell you how devastated I will be if Meredith and Derek aren't together in Season 3. You can't deny the chemistry that both the characters and Ellen and Patrick have for one another. Please please take a chance and make Mer and Derek the couple that most people can only dream about. THank you for listening!!!

[Julia]

Eric,

Thanks for the blog, but I'm now screaming "noooo" at my computer screen after reading your comments about trust as it relates to next season. As much as I am looking forward to next season, I'm also afraid to see what mistakes these characters are going to make and how those mistakes are going to make me feel. Like many who have posted, Season 2 was torturous for the Mer/Der fans, just a few crumbs of hope every week that dwindled slowly away and led to bitterness, anger and finally more pain. Ours and theirs.

So, just something for you to keep in mind as you all get back to work on Season 3 -- you have many loyal fans who are waiting, watching and hoping. We are trusting you to bring us some balance to Season 3, some happiness and hopefully before the final episode!!

Thanks for reading.

[Trey]

So I read this blog, paced around the house a bit, read it again, cried a little, read it again, kicked the wall,and now decided to vent. So basically I have spent this entire summer reading fanfics. FANFICS SHONDA!! Are you familiar? Let me catch you up. The basis of a fanfic is a second rate writers makes up stories and situations revolving around YOUR characters. Do you know why I have been obsessively reading these? BECAUSE THEY PUT MEREDITH AND DEREK TOGETHER!! I love this couple. In fact, I cannot get enough and I have read story after ridiculous story just for a glimpse into the world's best couple. I'm sure you have plenty of tricks up your sleeve, and I can't wait to watch, but my growing ulcer cannot handle another agonizing season of pining, sideways glances, and all consuming love that never goes anywhere. Trust or no trust, Meredith loves Derek. Please let them be together.

[michey]

Ok seriously... why even blog if you're just going to try and ruin all of our fun.

Obviously Der. is going to have to work his way back into Mer's arms again, and both Mer and Der have a lot of redemption actually... but if you seriously think that the fans are going to fall head over heals in love with either mer or der with another character... then I think you have too much of your so-called faith in us.

at any rate... fairy tales usually end happily ever after and I hope Shonda comes full circle with this fairy tale soon...

[Carole]

The last episode of season 2 left us hopeful! That was the hottest, most romantic scene between Mer/Der ever! I know it's not going to be smooth sailing for our favorite couple, but I can hardly wait to see the outcome of this latest twist in their story! Also, I like watching Christine and Burke try to work out their relationship...talk about having to learn to trust! Christina really has a ways to go!

[Remy]

Honestly, the whole Derek Meredith thing is getting annoying. When it was developing it was sweet and lovey dovey, and even in this old episode, I was rooting for them to make it. Now though, it's just been so far dragged out and it's just getting old and even painful to keep watching. It's a TV drama, what more do I expect, right? In my mind, I'm so far past it, it's just been beaten like a dead horse, even for a TV drama. Derek needs to get some balls and move on. They all do in fact. Derek doesn't deserve either Meredith OR Addison. Both of those beautiful descent women should realize that it isn't love anymore because love is not that selfish. Derek's "love" is completely and wholly selfish, unlike Mer and Addison who are selfless and put themselves out on the line everyday because Derek is an idiot who can't help himself or anyone get better or move on. Honestly, it's getting old. It really is. Derek should just die a lonely man if this continues on anymore. It's just not right.

...I'm Italian, from Turin...Derek is terribly sexy but so controversial because he really loves Meredith...and Meredith loves him from the first time...So, why they can't be together???...

[Gloria (Quezon City, Philippines)]

Even though I'd watched that precious last scene like, a gazillion times... I still burst into tears when it came on earlier. I MISS THE MER/DER LOVE! Not the tortured, starved, repressed love they so painfully denied throughout Season 2, but all that was romantic and tender and sweet... I implore you guys to give us more than just a taste of that next season. For everyone's sanity. And to restore our faith in love. :)

[Julie in TX]

Great blog. Very good points. I totally agree with the trust thing. I have had a McDreamy in my life. He was vague and aloof - part of his charm. When I got him to open up, he filled in lots of details except for the same one that Derek failed to reveal. Now, I struggle in my new relationship with trusting the "good guy" that hasn't not earned my trust because of the past. Can't wait for Season 3 and see how things play out.

[Julie in TX]

.....forgot to mention in the first post...Once a lying cheater, always a lying cheater.

[tina]

Does Shonda thank having Meredith and Derek still apart during season 3 is actually going to keep fans? Now that the show is going to move to Thursday night against CSI I think maybe she needs to rethink her ideas. From what I am reading most of the fans that watch the show are getting very impatient with the whole thing. And unlike years ago when you could keep so called "soul-mates" apart, there are so many other great shows on now that I see alot of fans moving on.......It is Shonda's fault that the show has turned into a soap opera. She could have made Meredith and Derek a couple dealing with everyday issues without all the sap and drama but she chose to go the "soap opera" route. There were so many options with them but Shonda chose to go the old route of having a couple together and then breaking them up over a third party. That has been done sooooooo many times. There were so many other possibilities, like Meredith thinking she would get sick like her mom and not want to put Derek through that, Derek's mom or sisters thinking that meredith isn't right for him and causing a wedge, I could go on and on but I think you get the idea.....I am anxious to see how the show does in it's new time slot. Hopefully Shonda won't realize too late that what the fans want is more important than what she wants......

[Natasha]

Not trust him? This is a fairy tale-seriously-follow McDreamy to the far ends of the earth(check)Love is the leap that wont be denied.
Team MerDer
Hysterical when Izzie thinks George is playing with little Jimmy-too funny.
What amazing work!

[Maura]

I'm not liking what I'm hearing. Please put Derek and Meredith back together STAT! They're the next Ross and Rachel!
Yes he made a mistake by not telling her he was married but don't we all make big mistakes from time to time? It's not like he killed someone and got away with it or physically abuses women. If he had then I can see why someone wouldn't trust him.

Patrick and Ellen over the summer modeled for the NY&Co ads. There's a clip out there online of them filming it and talk about hot chemistry! It's very rare to find two main characters with that much chemistry so please don't waste it!
See the clip for yourself at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ci7yw7Rhmu8

[Kate]

I completely agree. Trusting Derek again should be a huge issue for Meredith.

That's why I never really got the premise that it was so desperately hard for her to get over him all of S2. That's why I never got the premise that a man "like McDreamy" would try again with his wife. Derek's lie, deception and blatantly cold; that's all "you've earned for now - the rest you have to take on faith" completely blew the idea that he was honorable, good or Dreamy at all.

I love Meredith. I find her to have way more admirable qualities than flaws. And I love her for them all. I have suffered through 27 episodes of S2 with her being almost desicrated by the writers and many of the viewers. I'm hoping that your comments mean that we will see a stronger Meredith in S3. A Meredith who is able to make Derek respect her more, want her more and love, really love, her more. A Derek who has to gain her trust again.

I don't expect them to get back together this season, and truthfully, I'm not sure they should. They have their work cut out for them. But if you want me to believe that they share an "all-consuming love", then they have to be working towards something. There has to be movement in the relationship. You have to prove the love. Giving us hope in blogs and not on the screen is unacceptable. Drama and angst is great, and it develops the characters, but you have to give us some fun and happy MerDer or you will lose the ship. Their "happy" chemistry is almost breathtaking. Give us some to make the pain bearable.

Shonda said that we want Addison to be happy. Addison brought her troubles down upon herself; Meredith didn't. I really, really, really want Meredith to be happy. Finn is not the MANFinn will not make Meredith happy. And I am not sure that Derek is either

[Connie]

Shonda and staff:
You, well you guys ROCK!!! I just can't express into words how much I love this show!!! My husband thinks I'm crazy (although he doesn't miss an episode either) I have told everyone I know if they aren't already into this show to watch this summer, I've even been catching up, it's amazing the little things that you didn't notice the first time you watched that you catch the second (or third) time around. I love Tivo and have watched the season finale oh, maybe 50 times this summer (well not really but close). SO now I have verbal diarrhea. LOVE you don't change anything you are all great, and so are every one of the actors on staff!

[Kate]

I completely agree. Trusting Derek again should be a huge issue for Meredith.

That's why I never really got the premise that it was so desperately hard for her to get over him all of S2. That's why I never got the premise that he wouldn't be McDreamy if he hadn't tried with his wife. He wasn't dreamy. Derek's lie, deception and questionable "that's all you've earned for now - the rest you have to take on faith", completely blew the idea that he was honorable, good or Dreamy out of the water.

I love Meredith. I find her admirable qualities to be the true essence of her character and her flaws to be justified insecurities. I have suffered through 27 episodes of her being almost desicrated by the writers and many of the viewers. I'm hoping that your comments imply that we will see a stronger Meredith in S3. A Meredith who is able to make Derek respect her more, care about her more and love, really love, her more.

I don't expect Derek and Meredith to get back together this season, and truthfully, I'm not sure they should. They have their work cut out for them. But if you want me to believe they share and "all-consuming" love, then you have to show them working on it. They have to be "figuruing this thing out" together. You have to prove that love on screen. Drama and angst is great for character development - but so is happiness. And the chemistry when Derek and Meredith are happy is almost breathtaking. Give us lot's of happiness so we can bear the pain.

Shonda said that she wants Addison to be happy. Addison brought her troubles down upon herself, Addison purposefully hurt Derek. Meredith has never tried to hurt anyone. I really, really, really want Meredith to be happy. Finn is not the MAN for Meredith(I actually cringe to watch them), Finn will not make Meredith happy. I'm not sure that Derek will either. We'll see where you go with him. But he should try like hell to win her trust. Like Hubistank sings "I've found a reason for me, to change who I used to be - and the reason is you." Meredith is Derek's reason to change.

[Eileen]

I could watch and watch Mer and Der. This is way off topic but I have searched and searched for the info. I love the large tote that Meredith carries through most of the episodes, where is it available to buy?