Some thoughts on Meredith, Derek, and faith...

"Save Me"

Original Airdate 5/15/05

Two more episodes from season 1 will air tonight. The first episode was written by the ultra-talented Mimi Schmir, who also wrote season 2's episode "Let it Be." You might remember "Let it Be" because it includes the single most memorable Meredith-Derek moment in the whole series -- when he's behind her in the elevator, only inches away, trying with all his might not to touch her because he's already chosen to stay with Addison. Meredith: "I miss you." Derek: "I can't."  It's a painful moment not just for them, but for every viewer rooting for them.

On the other hand, when "Save Me" first aired last year, it had no such painful moment.  It had the exact opposite.  The big scene at the end between Meredith and Derek -- the one where we see his trailer for the first time -- is romantic and sweet and refreshing. No pain to be found.

Throughout the episode, Meredith wants to know more about Derek.  They're finally in what looks like an actual relationship -- but she doesn't even know where he lives.  What his family is like. What kind of music he listens to.  Nothing. Who is this guy who's been waking up next to her in bed for a week?

And that leads up to this great Meredith and Derek scene. (here's the actual page from the script)

EXT. FIELD - NIGHT

Derek and Meredith walk through the field.  The stars are out.  He marches her up to an Airstream trailer which is parked on the grass.  Its lights are on. 

     MEREDITH
Where are we?

     DEREK
Shut up.  -- My mother's maiden name is Maloney. 
I have four sisters, eight nieces and five nephews.
I like coffee ice cream, single malt Scotch and
occasionally a good cigar.  I fly fish, I cheat when I
do the Sunday crossword puzzle and I don't dance
in public.  My favorite color is blue.  And not that
light blue.  Indigo.  The Sun Also Rises?  Favorite
novel.  The Clash?  Favorite band.  This tiny little
scar by my nose?  That's why I don't ride motor-
cycles anymore.  And I live in that trailer!  And
all this land is mine and I have no idea what I'm
gonna do with it!!  That's it, that's all you've earned. 
For now.  The rest...well, the rest you'll have to
take on faith.

Beat.  He searches her face.  Hopeful.  Waiting to see what she'll do.

     MEREDITH (V.O.)
Once in a while, people may even take your breath away.   

She holds out her hand.  He takes it. 

     MEREDITH
Nice castle.

And they go inside.

     MEREDITH (V.O.)
That's what you have to believe.

Shonda tells us that Grey's Anatomy is about fairy tales.  That scene could be the end of one. In an episode about Faith, Meredith finally learns to have some faith of her own. Faith in Derek.

However, that faith is tested in a later episode, "Raindrops Keep Falling on My Head." When Derek takes Meredith back to his trailer, he tells her just how badly Addison hurt him, why he had to leave New York, and what Meredith has meant to him since he arrived ("You were like coming up for fresh air," he says).

And remember what Meredith says?  "That's not enough."

And remember how you shouted at your screen "NOT ENOUGH?!? HOW CAN THAT NOT BE ENOUGH!?!?"

The above scene is why Meredith says that.

"The rest...well, the rest you'll have to take on faith."

That is why this scene is so painful to watch now -- just as painful as the elevator scene in "Let it Be" -- because we know what "the rest" is.

Not only did Derek not tell Meredith about Addison, but he told her everything except that, and then asked her to have faith in him.

And when Meredith takes his hand, she's believing in him.

And then in the next episode the fairy tale comes crashing down.

I don't know about you, but if that were me, I'd have trouble ever trusting that man again...  Just something to keep in mind, not just as you rewatch the episode tonight, but, well, as you watch every episode that comes after (including those for this upcoming season).

-Eric

Comments

[MrsTGraham]

That is what was so hard about season one. Derek and Meredith only had one episode of happiness before it all came crashing down around their heads. I can not wait for season three. I also can not wait for Season 2 to come out on DVD. I keep watching the Season 1 DVDs to get my fix, but I need more!

[Britt]

Wow. I can't wait for the new season to start!

[Jenny]

wow, I never even THOUGHT of not trusting Derek. I mean I love him how could I not trust him! But when who put it like that....god I can't WAIT until next season!

[Courtney]

Oooh... Interesting. As we watch next season, huh? Well. I'm like about to pee myself I'm so excited to find out what's going to happen. ACK!

[jordi]

i agree... in real life, i would never trust him again. but he's mcdreamy, and it's just such a beautiful fairytale.

[Cash money]

Derek danced in public during the prom episode.

[editor's note: Slow dancing doesn't count!]

[Dude]

First! I don't have much else to say. But thanks for a great show. I've never posted first anywhere before! Wee! :)

[Christina]

I love rewatching episodes after I've already seen a few that come after it.

I see things, things I never knew were there when I watched them the first time. Little foreshadowing events that just floor you and you think to yourself "YES! It all makes sense now!" And I think that's what you were touching on in this blog.

[nicole]

Thanks for the post Eric. I am a die-hard Mer/Der fan, but when I was reading your blog, my heart dropped. I guess I live in Denial-Land, where McDreamy never screwed up this bad. I forgot about how much he wanted her to live on faith and than, he let the world crumble on her in the next episode. Oh Eric, thanks for pulling me out of Denial :(

But, I am still their biggest supporter, because thier love is something that deserves support. Their love is unique and at the same time familiar.

Thanks for the post Eric, you really opened my eyes!

[Gigi Santiago, Makati/Philippines]

I'm watching the re-runs I saved on tape and it is painful to see Mer expand her being and open her heart to this man only to be betrayed soon after. This must be how God feels like -- seeing the ending right when the beginning is just unfolding. Love your show. I'm sustained by the re-runs. Thanks much!

So your saying Mer/Der will never be again? well, thanks for ruining the show for me! Guess GA is off my tv list. They were the main reason for watching and now you make it sound as if she can never trust him again and I can't bare to watch it anymore! Thanks!

[Team MerDer from Maryland]

OMG! I honestly feel sick about this.. I had some hope, not much but some hope that we would finally see some real movement towards an actual MerDer reconciliation. Your blog has shot those hopes down.

Seriously.. they have to get back together. I know they are going to have to suffer major repercussions for the exam room (so hot by the way) and then there will be what I an only assume as a messy divorce, then there is the trust and "faith" that Derek will have to win back from Meredith. I am really trying here to be positive :) I really hope that they work everything out and find there way back to being happy. I love EP/Meredith and I cannot take another season of her being unhappy. I miss the happy and in love Meredith from Season 1.

Thanks for blogging.. but again.. it really makes me nervous.

Done venting now.

Signed..
So sad in MD..

[Nadia]

That might be true for a smart, assertive woman--NOT to trust Derek again but the writers have made Meredith into a whiny, pining woman who acts as if Derek is the only man left in Seattle. Once he lives the wife, if Meredith is true to form, he'll be right back in her bed. Okay so maybe it will take 4 or 5 episodes. Unless of course McSteamy arrives prom night and talks some sense into her LOL.

[kate]

How long will Shonda drag this Meredith & Derek saga? It's getting ridiculous. What's the next obstacle? We had the wife, we have Finn. What's next? Addison pregnant? New girlfriend for Derek?

The only reason Meredith and Derek aren't together is that the writers need to separate them for a few seasons. So forget about Meredith&Derek and give McSteamy too Meredith. I'm sure he knows how to entertain her , and us.

[OhNoShonda]

Ok, it's bad enough we have to wait so long for Season 3, but do you REALLY have to torture us in the meantime, with this little revisionist stroll down memory lane??? Didn't your Mommies tell you that if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all???? We want to keep watching, we really do, and we just want Meredith and Derek together (well, a lot of us who love them do!). We said all this stuff at the end of the first season. We suffered through Season 2, "suffered" being the operative word. That ended with that sex thing that YOU GUYS wrote, much to our surprise. OMG, Derek seeed to be making a choice, a decision!!!! Isn't it a little early to start laying the groundwork to ruin Season 3???? I'm just minding my own business, patiently waiting and hoping, watching these re-runs like a dutiful fan, even though I have the dvd. Don't get me all upset again, just when I had sort of withdrawn from my addiction. It's hot, I'm feeling very grumpy, and I want a truly dreamy, decisive, in-love-with-my-Mer Derek. Okay? Of course, Meredith has every right to be pissed at him, but don't start forgetting (conveniently) how much we know (and Shonda says)that Mer loves Der. Do not start getting too comfy with the idea of vet boy, okay??? Now 'go away and don't upset us like this again, please.

[Lorena]

thaks for the awesome blog. like a previous poster said, i knew derek messed up big time, but him being all mcdreamy just made up for it. but your blog is so insightful- i mean, he did ask for her complete faith, she gave it to him, and then addison proceeded to make it come crumbling all down by showing up all "leggy and fabulous". i hate it that people complain about how whiny meredith became, but i mean, in the show, only months have passed, and she sees the love of her life everyday at work with another woman. she has a right to be like that, i sure would. i just hope you guys give meredith a reason to smile again this season... happy meredith is so much more beautiful!
instead of making me nervous, your blog gave me hope. i feel that meredith and derek are destined to be together, but like you said, there will be issues with trust. to me, that just means that derek is gonna have his work cut out for him after the divorce, right? i know, i know, you can't say exactly what's gonna happen. it kills me, but i know i'm gonna appreciate it when season 3 comes. i look forward to it. i'm totally obsessed with the show. thanks to you Eric, and all the fabulous writers, and the crew, and the most talented cast EVER, especially Ellen Pompeo- i love her. can't wait to see what you guys have in store for all us McFans! LOVE YOU GUYS- SERIOUSLY!

[MA en Ese]

Shonda and Friends... please, please, please, please post all the scripts online like you did this excerpt! The spoke words are magical. But there was something so amazing to actually read the lines I love to watch.

Consider it,please?!?!?

Cheers!

[Mandi]

Is it September 21st yet? Oh i've never wanted summer over so bad before, all to see what happens with meredith and derek!

[Paige]

Oh man.

Oh man.

[DLR from NY]

After reading your blog, I'm now convinced that Mer chooses McVet. Rightfully so, since Der picked Addison. It's time he suffered for an entire season... or more....

Please don't torture your fans with this torn lovers thing between Mer/Der for another season. Let's see some progress between Mer and McVet (I know I'm going to get nailed for that request)- then you can make him crazy or something. The possibilities are ENDLESS!!
;P

[Kelly]

Are you saying that Meredith and Derek won't be getting back together ever? Cause if you are I am no longer watching this show. I already went through this once before with ER where my favorite couple will never get back together now and it wasn't fun. So I refuse to be put through this again.

So please put Meredith and Derek back together. If you don't then don't be surprise when your ratings fall drastically like ER's has since they ruined one of the most popular couple on that show.

[Melinda]

Thank goodness one of you writers finally got vocal about what a sleeze Derek was. Plus I've always thought Derek and Meredith were in lust not love, I wish Shonda would wake up and see that.

[mac]

To quote Derek: "What does this mean????"

Please, please, please let Mer/Der figure things out in S3.

[Michelle]

First of all, I just have to say that my heart drops when I log onto greyswriters.com and find a new post!!!

Thank you for re-blogging the 1st season episodes...like another poster already said, the foreshadowing is UNCANNY. Geez, you guys are good! I couldn't help but notice how many times Bailey has told Izzy, "You get too involved personally with your cases," in the past few reruns from season 1. I just can't wait to watch season 3, and then go back, watch the previous two seasons, and find the foreshadowing in those episodes!! HURRY UP SEPTEMBER 21!!!

[Nancy]

Hi, Eric.

I love you.

I've never been a fan of Merde (I like that nickname because of what it means) BECAUSE of the lying. I read entirely too early the spoilers of Addison. And I was SO MAD at him for doing that to Meredith. Just not forgivable.

The more blogs of the writers I read, the more I generally become convinced that Merde is the endgame, and I'll just have to live with it, no matter how much I hate it. Then I read this, and my faith is restored a bit.

Again, I love you.