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From Stacy McKee, writer of "What Have I Done To Deserve This?"

Original Airdate: 2-26-06

Ok, yeah. I’ll admit it. I’m with you.


My blog was hard to tackle this week. Not just because you guys gave Krista such a hard time last week... And not just because I thought, instead, it might be easier to… you know. Shut the door to my office, crawl under my desk and – well – maybe HIDE. But mostly because—


I mean it. I am freaking out. I’ve been freaking out for months. I’ve been freaking out and I haven’t been able to talk about it with ANYONE except all of the other writers on the show, who – Guess what?  Are also freaking out.

I freaked out when Shonda told us all (in the writers’ room) not to worry about the “George & Meredith Sex”– because, although it would be, perhaps, one of the most painful things we’ve put our characters through so far…in the end, she insisted, “it would be GREAT.”

Shonda always says that.  I usually love it when Shonda says that, because – let’s face it. She’s pretty much always right. Until I realized she was saying it -- about this episode – my episode. The previous episode was going to have ONE SCENE with the sex. But this would be… an entire episode devoted to it… The episode in which we deal with, talk about, actually SEE, and inevitably freak out about the fact that –


Yeah. I’ve been hiding under my desk a lot lately.

But if this show has taught me anything – it’s to trust Shonda’s vision. And to work my very hardest to do it justice.  Yes, the sex was painful. Yes, the sex was upsetting. Clearly, we’re going to have to talk about the sex… but let’s save that for last.

This is an episode about karma.

It was an amazing (and challenging) episode because – in so many ways – it ties up all sorts of threads that have been put into place since the very beginning of the series… Karma catches up to all of these characters and – throws them into a tailspin.

So we have George, who is having – without question – the most terrible horrible no good very bad day in the world. He finally gets busy with the woman of his dreams – only to have it back fire on him in the most horrible way – he’s humiliated – he gets hurt – he finds himself homeless by the end of the episode… how much worse can it get?

And yet – think about it. All of these things coming together all at once? They’re leading him toward an amazing – and long overdue – upswing. Suddenly, he’s not just “Poor George” anymore – he’s George with a backbone. He’s George who has FINALLY gone after what he wants (Meredith) – and taken a stand for what he is or isn’t willing to accept. Old George would be irrevocably devastated by all of this – but New George? He’s not devastated, exactly-- he’s just DONE. He’s had enough. He’s moving out – moving on. It’s a new beginning for him. One that will change him forever. One we’ve all been waiting to see… That’s how karma works. Trust in the karma. (I mean, if none of this had happened, George wouldn’t have encountered the uber saucy bone-crunching orthopedic surgeon Dr. Callie Torres! Hello? Good karma, anyone?)

But everyone – not just George - is dealing with karma this week.  Look at Alex… Alex treated Izzie like crap (remember when he plastered her centerfold all over the locker room? When he cheated on her with Olivia?) – and now he gets to watch her dote on the undeniably handsome – and totally charming - Denny Duquette.  Just as Alex is starting to really realize his own feelings for Izzie, in comes Denny. Karma at its best.

Cristina – who prides herself on few things MORE than the fact that she’s not a nice person - suddenly finds herself filling the shoes usually filled by Izzie (or Meredith). Cristina spends her day with “custody” of George – basically, her worst nightmare… She has no tolerance for George’s pouting. She doesn’t WANT to listen to him talk about his problems, and yet… what’s great about it – is that Cristina still winds up giving George the best possible advice. The advice he really takes to heart: to stop taking crap and demand something more. Which he does. And which ultimately brings him right back to Cristina... Home to sleep on her couch, saddling her (semi-permanently) with custody of George all over again. What comes around, goes around. Karma.

And Meredith – She’s managed to turn all of her friends against her – at a moment when she (clearly) needs them most… (hello - she just spoke to her father for the first time in 20 years – after finding out that he left because her mother was unfaithful…) Yet – it opens up the door to a friendship she hadn’t believed truly possible – If her other friends weren’t dropping like flies, do you think Meredith would be as willing to give a friendship with McDreamy a real chance?  It’s not like McDreamy and Meredith were “friends first.” No! She picked him up in a bar – she didn’t even know his name… so – them being “just friends??” This is uncharted territory, people. Interesting karma, right? Lose one friend, gain another?

Then, of course, we can’t forget Addison – she slept with her husband’s best friend – the friend who just came to town last episode – so what’s her karma? Poison oak on the vah-jay-jay, of course! The part of this story I love, though (almost as much as Bailey tending to Addison in stirrups for an entire episode) is that – what is so truly painful and horrifying – the poison oak -- actually winds up bringing Derek and Addison closer together. At the end, they share this wonderful moment of laughter – they’ve let down their guard with each other – and, for the first time (pretty much ever) we see them genuinely enjoying a moment with each other. Strange as it seems, the poison oak is almost as good as it is bad karma…


Ok, yes. It’s just so WRONG. On so many levels – they were friends. Now they’ll never be able to go back. It’s like messing with a really good thing in a way it just DIDN’T need to be messed with. It feels wrong. It feels awful. It feels… icky.

DUH. That’s the point. OF COURSE it’s icky. Of course it’s awful. You’re feeling exactly the way you’re supposed to be feeling. You’re feeling exactly the way these characters are feeling. You’re feeling kinda like, the only thing left to do is… crawl under your desk and pretend it never happened.

Only it did. Because – really – it had to.

The sex HAD to happen. It was always going to happen. Hello. Shonda set this moment up in the PILOT. George remembered the kind of strappy sandals Meredith was wearing at the pre-internship mixer!!!  Did you really really think this moment – this FREAKY GEORGE AND MEREDITH SEX – was never gonna happen???

Of course it was.  Really, it’s just been a question of when. Which, as it turns out, was – now. In this episode. It’s happened. It happened. IT HAPPENS, y’all. People have sex with inappropriate people. People hurt their friends. People make decisions they regret the morning after. People do terrible things. Because in the end, we’re all just people. Flawed, confused, irrational, hopeful, looking-for-happiness-and-hoping-we’ll-find-it people trying to figure out our lives one day at a time.  As characters, Meredith and George are no different.

There’s no turning back. There’s nothing George and Meredith can do. The damage is done – things will never be the same. They’ve just changed something important in their lives FOREVER and…  they are freaking out.

The important thing to remember, though – is that while Meredith wishes things could go back to the way they were before the sex… (the way, I think, most of us have felt – or would feel - in similar situations…) George does not. And that’s huge.  Because… before the sex – George was in limbo. But after the sex? As painful as the outcome was – he’s suddenly not. George knows exactly where he stands. There’s finally some closure. And that’s a good thing. It’s what will fuel him through the rest of the season…

Which is also why it was so important to break from tradition, and let George do the voice over for this episode. We needed to be inside HIS head. Hearing HIM tell us about karma.  We needed to hear George explain how karma isn’t unfair – it isn’t unexpected – it just evens the score. Hearing George say that is what assures us that – even after all of this, he’s going to be just fine.

And so are we.

That’s the beauty of karma – and the agony. Watching a karmic tailspin begin is – enough to make you hide under your office furniture. But anticipating the inevitable payoff? Well… It’s what convinces you, finally, to stop freaking out, crawl out from underneath your desk, and to write your writer’s blog.




Haven't read your blog yet, but just watching your episode now...it's hysterical!!!!


OK, gotta go back to it...


Hi Stacy,

As awkward and icky the Meredith/George thing was to watch...it was excellently done and realistic. And boy did you guys surprise me with just what happened between them! I loved that George was the voiceover this episode, it just felt appropriate. Great job and thanks for taking the time to write this blog!



I haven't got to chance to watch the episode yet. But reading this, I wish I am home right now watching this episode!

2nd to post


I luved the ep but come on why were addy and der laughing together eww,i think that the last sene was my favorite im glad their setting up a friendship cause if they do get together (which they should) they'll be stringer than before!!!
Plz get mer and der together soon i luv this show and ur a great writer!


I think this episode was put together very well. I, personally, was freaking out that Meredith and George just had sex but the way the episode played out showed that everyone, including Meredith, would be ok. The way that you set up a possible new look at the relationship between Meredith and Derek was excellent and will allow them to become even closer before a reunion occurs. But please don't hold off on the Mer/ Der reunion for too long!!! And when things don't work out between Addison and Derek, keep Addison around; she adds some extra spice.

Can't wait to see next week's episode and the future developments with the Mer/ Der relationship!

Josh B.

Stacy, you can stop freaking out now...you wrote an excellent episode and an excellent blog. You're excellent. I realized something tonight...why I love Greys...it was in the scene where George is in the stairway and he's yelling about having sex with Meredith and I'm just laughing (because its hilarious) and then he falls and I actual feel terrible for laughing at him two seconds ago...I felt guilty for laughing at him.

Greys is a great show and will someone tell Ellen to stop spoiling the Season Final and Season 3 on all the local news stations? :)

Scarlett (Australia)

damn, 2 seconds away from being first...

anyway, i havn't seen the episode yet, but it sounds great! now i just have to wait a few months to see it...or get it off one of my tv-downloader friends. ooh, hard choice, ey?

so, great work on the episode and the blog stacy, i think i'm going to go kick my downloader friends' asses and get them to hurry up!


Great episode, the kind that keep us coming back week after week.

Well all but the last 5 minutes, ARRRGGGG TIVO cut it out.

Keep up the great show and I know we will all keep watching.


love, love, love the show. in my almost 30 years of life, this has definitely got to be the best show ever! i love it. :) thanks so much for all you do...

Don't Hate Meredith

Tonight was great and hello?? George is a grown up and did what he wanted to do. Now he is dealing with it. Sucks to be a grown up but there you go.

And I really, really want Denny to live. Really. :)


Ok I get it, I get it. people have to do terrible things to become good people and karma bites you good and proper when you need it to. but can it be done in other ways besides sex? that's all i am asking.

GREAT show tonight. The best part was Cristina's advice to George. You done well!


Awesome show tonight... Liked how it was all about George, he even did the voiceovers.

And Dr. Torres is definitely into him... looks like good things are coming his way.


Is Addison ever going to have to cop to the fact that she stayed with Mark the whole time Derek was gone?

And, since your music folks found Rosie Thomas, you should also steer them towards Jessie Sykes- another local awesome woman vocalist.

The Mar Mar

I am sorta disappointed in this episode. It has nothing to do with the George/Mer thing. I get the Karma thing. It was just off.

I just didn't like it. Sorry if it offends anyone. Maybe the previews built it up to much.

Poor George. It's one thing to be rejected, but for her to CRY???? Not just cry but to hysterics. It doesn't get worse than that.

Jeff (Illinois)

I love this new dynamic to the show.

I'm sad to see George leave Meredith's house... but I think it opens up more story lines.

Keep up the great work!


A strong episode that definitely did not take the easy way out (quick reconciliations). I was very impressed by Ellen Pompeo in the episode's final scenes - especially considering the whole episode allowed us to step outside of Meredith for a bit (thanks to the George VO)it helped me appreciate the character more, and her pain - how by viewing her from George's POV, she is all a mystery - it just gave her entire situation a much needed reminder of how intense it actually is. Also, Addison could not be more endearing now thanks to the scene she had where she starts bawling and poor Bailey starts lactating (Chandra Wilson could not be a better sport, by the way)! So funny and really honest - a much needed new side of Dr. Montgomery-Shepherd.

Now for some less stellar stuff - for some reason, I'm still not buying the Izzie-Denny connection, and I don't feel it's the fault of the actors here. The relationship just seems so undefined, and she and Alex seem so close to actually being in a relationship that this angle is just not working as it potentially could - it seems like it would be much better if the feelings were one-sided either leaning toward Izzie or the heart patient (I have a feeling however that this storyline will be winding down soon and thus the episodes already filmed, so these comments are probably irrelevant). Also, I felt the karma bit was a little overstated - very true, thoughtful, and relevant, but it did not need to be so blatantly articulated over and over - we're smart viewers; we can figure it out!! :)

And, ending on a high note, a thousand kudos for bringing on the captivating Sara Ramirez! I would be perfectly happy to see her sticking around for a while (maybe regular status for next season, hmmm...?) - she seems to perfectly fit the model of what Grey's Anatomy is now admirably known for - casting for talent and realism - not simply studio cookie-cutter archetypes - Bravo!!


Unlike many of the posters I liked the last 2 minutes of last weeks episode, even though I had this sinking feeling that it was not going to end the way George wanted it to.

While tonights episode was awkward to watch, it and your blog entry so perfectly addressed what needed to happen. What needed to be be said.

excellent as always!


So...does McDreamy know about Meredith and George?


Found the ep thoroughly depressing (but beautiful!)... but coming here and reading that made it far less sad! You guys continue to do absolutely incredible work. AND I finally found a place where the 1st season DVD wasn't sold out (although, I did buy the last copy). Marathon time!


Though not my favorite episode, but I just wanted to say that Addison and Bailey totally rocked this episode for me. I hope that we get to see more scenes between those two, because they work so well together!

jade b.

bravo. the scene that will not be named between meredith and george was brilliant. so painful and terrible and sad and brilliant. thats all i have to say. you guys rock.


I know this feeling, I've been there, and I think it's great that this was handled so realisticly. I completely empathize with Geroge. He's one of my top characters because he's real... and now's he's grown. Thank you.


Loved the episode...I'm so happy to see that Mer and Derek are friends for the time being...Karma has certainly made everything turn out interestingly.



Stacy, Thank you so much for posting tonight and helping me process all of it. I think I'll be able to get some sleep now....

A wonderful wonderful episode. I can't wait to go watch it again tomorrow. I don't know what else to say--it unfolded perfectly.

You people are so good to us.


As extremely painful as the episode was....it was wonderful. I LOVE that the characters are so real. Meredith has been getting a lot of flack from fans but I love her more and more as her flaws are more and more exposed. Partly because...her flaws are kind of similar to mine. Even if they weren't, it makes her very real which makes her very important.

WHAT ABOUT THE GEORGE VOICEOVER? So strange! Oh, and some more insight into Derek would be AWESOME...cus he's such a tricky fellow.

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