From Krista Vernoff, who wrote the teleplay for "Yesterday"

Original Airdate 2-19-06

So, apparently, some folks are getting a little antsy for this blog.   I know, because yesterday, Shonda emailed me and said “The fans are FREAKING OUT. You have to post your blog before they riot.”  This email came as a surprise to me, mostly because I thought yesterday was Sunday and I didn’t realize my episode had aired yet. Weird, yes, but this was a holiday weekend and I was in Palm Springs having a MUCH NEEDED holiday with my husband and I got confused from all the sleep. Sleep will do that to you.  I have the best husband. I am madly in love with him.  Weekends in Palm Springs, where we got married almost two years ago, are about my favorite thing in the world. Really. We are so in love that when we go to parties at Shonda’s house, she frequently YELLS at us from across the room, “STOP LOVING EACH OTHER SO DAMN MUCH.”  True story.  I am living the dream. And aren’t you already a little bit annoyed with me, like, one paragraph in? The point here is that while I love my marriage, it would not make for interesting television.  It really wouldn’t. The script would look something like this: 

Krista and Kevin are snuggling on the couch in front of the TV. 

      KRISTA: I totally want the bald guy with the two step kids to win this year.

      KEVIN: You don’t think Paris should win?

      KRISTA: Okay, yeah, maybe. But they should definitely be the final two!

And they snuggle some more as the wailing sounds of American Idol rise in the background.

Seriously.  Would you tune in next week?  I don’t think you would. The critics would call us “saccharine” the fans would call us “boring” and ABC would cancel us.

Now, if you cut back in time say, 10 to 15 years? My life then might have made for interesting TV. I could tell you tons of stories, but I’m gonna focus on one.  I had this friend. I will call him Jim because that doesn’t at all resemble his name. Jim and I went to college together but we had actually known each other since we were 16. And Jim had had an intense crush on me since we were 16.  And he was the nicest guy in the world and one of my closest friends. And I knew how he felt about me – because how could I not? And for this reason, I didn’t cross that line with him for a long, long time despite many drunken occasions when it would have been easy to do so. And then one night I did. Why? Because we had graduated from college and we were living in New York and I was in a constant state of “what am I going to do with my life” terror and he was there. And he was safe and familiar and so incredibly kind. And I wanted that kindness in my life very badly. I wanted to be a healthy woman who would choose the nice guy who loved me and stop chasing the sexy, unavailable guys who didn’t.  And so, even though I had high hopes in the moment that I crossed that line, it didn’t go very well in the long run. Because at 22, I wasn’t that healthy.  And I hurt a dear friend. And the friendship suffered for it.  But eventually, it was a good thing because he got over me and met and married a woman who loved him back.  And now we’re friends again. True story.

And despite all this life experience? I was, for a very, very long time, WILDLY OPPOSED to Meredith and George hooking up. Like, shouting matches in the writer’s room opposed. Like, storming down the hall to my office and eating vast quantities of Trader Joe’s dark chocolate opposed.  I was afraid people wouldn’t forgive Meredith. I wanted very much for Meredith to be healthier than she is. Because now, at 34, I’ve had several years of therapy and it’s hard for me to conceive of making the kinds of decisions that Meredith makes.  But Meredith isn’t me now – she’s more like me then.  Which, as I mentioned, makes for better television.  And even knowing all of that, I was still opposed. Until Shonda had the flash of inspiration that the Mer/George hook-up should come on the heels of Meredith going to see her father.  It was like the clouds parted. And suddenly, I completely got it. And I completely forgave Meredith.  Here’s why:

My Dad died five years ago today (2/21/01). It sucked ass in a way I find it difficult to describe. The whole month of February sucks for me and on 2/21 every year, it’s hard for me to get out of bed. The loss of a parent is a pain you can only fully understand when you lose a parent.  And Meredith has pretty much lost her mom to alzheimers. And here’s what I think about her Dad: I think that for 20 years, Meredith has, somewhere in the deepest part of her psyche, held on to the fantasy that her dad is out there, just waiting to love her. I think she thinks that when she finally makes the effort to know him, he will open his arms, and open his heart and apologize for leaving and just love her like crazy. The news of Ellis’ affair was the opportunity Meredith had needed to finally forgive him enough to approach him. She gathered what had to be a HUGE amount of courage to knock on his door…

And then the fantasy died.

Because Thatcher didn’t throw open his arms.  He didn’t apologize.  He didn’t invite her in. He didn’t have the right words, he didn’t have the right anything. And to Meredith, that had to feel like a death. 

And then she went to a bar and drank.

And then Mark made her hope again, if only briefly, that she could have the man she loves back.

And then she went home and stared out her window in a state that I can only imagine was tremendous pain and loss and grief. 

And then George came in. And poor George DID NOT KNOW ANY OF THIS. He was not there to take advantage of her when she was in a vulnerable state. All he knew was that he had spent the entire day working up his courage to finally, finally make her hear him. 
And, unwittingly, he said the world’s most perfect things.

He said he would never leave her (like her father did). He said he would never hurt her (like Derek did). He said he would never stop loving her.

And he was safe and familiar and so incredibly kind. And she wanted that kindness in her life very badly. She wanted to be a healthy woman who would choose the nice guy who loved her and stop chasing the sexy, unavailable guys who didn’t (or couldn’t).  And even though she had high hopes in the moment that she crossed that line, I’m guessing,   that it didn’t go very well in the long run.

I think that’s enough for now.  I will try to write again soon to address the other 41 minutes of last night’s episode.  Thank you for watching and for caring so much about these characters and these stories we tell. They do, as you may have noticed, come from our selves, from our psyches, from our lives. Putting that stuff on TV every week is sometimes not the easiest thing to do – and it means the world to us that you continue to care and continue to watch. 

Sincerely, Krista

Comments

[Ty]

I just wanted to tell you all that you are beatiful writers, both on television and on this blog. As an aspiring writer, I am bouyed by your writing each and every week, devouring the words, and hoping that someday I can have a career as, well, cool as yours.

And I will be yelling at Meredith all night next Sunday! Poor George.

Thanks!

www.tonguetyed.blogspot.com

[FanofGrey]

So what you are saying is...because you slept with someone who was a friend and someone who loved you but you didn't love back you decided to let the same thing happen to Meredith and George. Didn't you learn some kind of lesson from your experience? Maybe that you wouldn't want the same thing to happen to someone else? Absolutely the worst thing to be done to either character. Sad, Sad, Sad.

[Melanie]

This was such a great episode, thank you! I'm having a bit of a hard time liking Meredith right now. Yes, she was vulnerable but ... aaaah! OK. I can be OK with it. But only because she and George have to get through and be friends again. Right?

[Val]

You're not the only one that was opposed to Meredith and George. I was too. Do you know that I always skip the mail of the fans that are pulling for M&G? Of course you don't. How could you? But I do. I was that much opposed. As a matter of fact I still am.

You pulled it off in the only way possible. No, not possible (or I would have thought of it). You pulled it off.

Even though I thought that, being the great team you are, you could have pulled something else. And made it just as believable.

In spite of all of that, I'll forgive you (all the writers and Shonda Rhimes in particular) only if you manage to deal with the rest just as brilliantly.

All taken, it's amazing how much mud there is in Meredith's life...somewhere, sometime things have to turn. Right?

We have hope. Right?

After what you (all) did with M&G, it's hard to say what I have to say. But here it is: a great episode. The best so far.

I know it's still February. But do write on the other 41 minutes. I'll be waiting.

Otherwise, using Burke's words "That makes you a lier."

Sincerely, Val

[kc from geogia loves grey's]

Okay, I know I am not the first to comment, I am sure the "blogger" guy is reading as fast as he can to approve them and pass them on and so on...

Gosh, I love this show and Krista as I love Shonda I love your portrayals of these characters as well~~ so Kudos to you.

I was one of the ones that wanted a brief or even an elongated "hookup" with George. ( I love George so much ) But sort of not this way, because the awkwardness is going to be hell for them but because of the friendship they have~~ they will get over this (hopefully). But poor George, and poor Merideth. The anticipation of watching to see how this makes them feel is very hard for me. I can imagine it, but not sure of how you will attempt to go in future episodes.... So excited and nervous at the same time. That is good writing-- thanks so much but it is killing me.

On to something else, thanks for Cristina in this epi. I saw her being different that the hard-ass that she is. I saw her countenance be a beautiful thing and see she knows how to make you feel that Sandra Oh SO knows how to act!!

I love these people!! I loved Mark (McSTeamy), and I love that Der knocked him out~~ and Mark called it all under the carpet and bluntly told Addi what she has been thinking for a long time-- but she still waits and waits and waits some more..

Great! Great!! Great!!!
Keep it coming and keep it SO VERY hard for us to stop watching what will happen to the people we love to watch-- Grey's Anatomy..
BRAVO

[Jacquelynn]

Thank you for your thoughts. You have definitely shed some light on the George/Meredith hookup. However, I am still really against it. I kept screaming at my TV, hoping it was one of George's carnal fantasies. It is so wrong on so many levels. She will eat George alive. George needs to be with a girl like Olivia (sans disease, of course). Meredith HAS to be with McDreamy. Why in the world was Izzy encouraging George? What a bad friend -- to both parties. Yes, I know that feeling of unrequited love and I know about those vulnerable moments, but this hookup feels unholy. I really hope it is either a dream or a very bad one-night stand. This was the worst episode. Please don't continue in this vein. PLEASE!

[Vicky]

I'm soooo glad you posted your entry. I was one of those livid fans who were wondering where you were and why you would do that Meredith!
I love her and for the first time on Sunday, I couldn't.... I just couldnt believe she would do something like that!

I think you guys should know that alot don't like her and on sunday you came really close to losing the very few that do.
I understand now why she did what she did.... I just hope everyone else understands and would forgive her also.

By the way, I'm happy you are sooo inlove and happy and healthy. There's truly nothing like it.

Thanks for sharing.

[Esther]

Such a great episode! I was one of the people wildly opposed to george and meredith getting together but after watching the episode again I finally got it. How could she have said no to george? After he was so sweet and amazing? But alas I suspect poor George is going to get stomped on. Thanks for writing an amazing episode! And thanks for the McSteamy thing. I swear juice came out my nose. Keep up the good work.

[Robyn]

I was very dissappointed to see George and Mer hook up. She won't love him the way he deserves and he has hurt so long watching her with McDreamy. I'm not happy at all that it happened. Last week you finally showed a stronger side of George that we loved to see and now you are going to make him weak and vulnerable again. I'm dissappointed.

[Judy]

You ruined the show for me.

Finally a good episode and you ruin it with the George and Meredith thing.

You finally have a character who has the guts to fight for the woman he loves in McSteamy. You finally brought someone with some sense to the NEVER ENDING MARRIAGE that has drudged along all season. He was such a breath of fresh air compared to Derek who can't make a decision. He was honest, funny, and sincere. The perfect man for Meredith

Addison can't get her head out of the sand and Derek can't make a decision. They are perfect for each other.

SO PLEASE HAVE GEORGE EXIT THE SHOW QUICKLY

McSteamy & Meredith

and no more STUPID PET TRICKS

THIS WAS GROSS

[Turtleherder]

This episode has inspired more conversation in my group of friends than any other to date.

First, we all adore McSteamy because he's just hot... and if we're being completely honest probably because of his gutsy bad-boy attitude too.

But mostly our debate rages about George/Mer. There are two camps: The "of-course-they-did-it" camp and the "that's- so-WRONG" camp. I'm vacillating myself.

Either way I'm glad to know that you fought against the pairing for so long. I'm happy to know it was thought through because it's such a tough call. It sure makes for good TV! And you're right, I'd much rather have strong and steady in real life.

Condolences on the death of your father.

[Jeanne]

You guys rock! I love that you gave us a (mostly) funny episode after the last two weeks. Please don't turn into a crisis a week show like ER. Bleck!

And keep blogging - whenever the mood strikes! Don't just wait for Mondays, your insights are terrific!

[Carissa Henry]

Another great episode...I look forward to Sunday nights like I never have before! I appreciate well-written shows and "real" characters. Grey's Anatomy is a show that is touching, humorous, believable, and heartfelt.
Thank you for filling this void in t.v. land.

[Lydia]

First of all, you know that awkwardness of wanting to say sorry about something you don't know anything about - That's how I wanted to start this out. So in my own little awkward way, sorry about your dad. What a great episode this was! I still don't know how I feel about George and Mer, mostly I just want to throw up a little in my mouth! But hey, I understand why you did it. I really hope that there is a storyline that involves Addison and Mark in Seattle together. As much as I didn't want to, I couldn't help but like Mark a little... probably the same reason that I like Alex a little. Anyway, great job with the writing!

[Dacia]

What you've written makes sense. But what struck me the most is that once she decided he said the right things, she did not (could not?) look him in the eye.

Also, you had the lionitus patient comment that he knew his parents thought he was perfect, but for once, he would like someone else to think so as well. Meredith's parents didn't think she was perfect. Last season, she spoke of her mom saying she didn't have what it took to be a surgeon. Now, her mom doesn't even recognize her. Then this episode her dad did not respond in a remotely positive manner, she just broke.

It was very obvious why she reacted as she did, she was like the patient. She just wanted someone to think she was perfect and precious.

BUT, poor George. The scenes for next week just break my heart. You all had better do right by him!

[AB]

Krista, Shonda, other writers--We could be friends.

[GreyWatcher]

Well... I suppose THAT would be the definition of hitting the nail on the head.

[Julia]

Seriously. I mean, seriously. Are we as people who use critical judgement and who want quality TV supposed to believe any of this? I'm sorry Krista, you are my favourite writer of GA together with Shonda. But this time, you guys really got it wrong, on so many levels.
That scene with Meredith and George made me sick to my stomach. And not in the sense that I got strong emotions from it, but in the sense that I think I was being put face to face with a daytime soap opera instead of with a show I have learnt to love since episode one.
You wrote up a wonderful episode with the arrival of Mark (please, give us more of him!) with all his hot outspoken attitude, and you just sent it right into the bin with a few final seconds. One scene. Neither us viewers, nor Meredith and George deserved this.
My sister just expressed her disappointment, and for once I felt I had to do this too. Because such a low cheap shot was too much to take.

[Nikki]

I think the friendships are one of the greatest i have seen in a show in YEARS! You are destroying them, taking things too far! i quit watching friends because of the whole rachel and ross thing! if you are determined to not put meredith and derek togeather yet(hopefully sooner than later) fine but the friendships are what keep us watching every week! You don't trun your back or hurt friends no matter how vunerable you are like you all are playing meredith to be

[Lesley]

Krista,

Thanks so much for posting and for sharing so much of yourself. The first part was like reading an autobiography, b/c I too am very much in love with my husband of 14 years and agree it our relationship would make very boring television. Our raising 4 children - well there are moments that would make for very good tv ala Super Nanny but I digress. I am in full agreement with your description of losing a parent - my month that sucks is August, August 13th to be exact. It's been 2 1/2 years since I lost my dad, keep waiting for it to get better in the way is was before, but then I remind myself that this is the new normal and the new normal sucks.

Anyway enough about me, I am very glad you finally posted and everything you said I totally agree. Mer was so vulnerable and George was so clueless. The one I hold responsible is Izzie - bad friend, I posted elsewhere. She was so wrong to encourage him to go down a road that will only lead him to heartache. She was too caught up in her own wants that she was supportive when she should have been - George you deserve better than someone who is in love with someone else.

The addition of Mark was perfect, just the right thing to cause a bigger rift btw Addi and Der (I hope). Love the line about Der feeling obligated, spoke volumes. I also rolled at the chief saying "did you put your weight behind it?" Brilliant. My last favorite line went to Mer when she tells Christina that her mom is a slut or something like that; it was at the beginning and haven't had a chance to watch the eppy again.

Brilliant writing; you really pulled together a good episode to follow the roller coster ride Shondra put us through the past two weeks. I am so looking forward to Sunday; pathetic as that sounds, but to this mom it is one of the high points of my week. Seriously, there are four of them and I am seriously outnumbered so by Sunday night I soooooo look forward to sitting on my ass doing nothing for one hour but being entertained by the wonderful cast and writers of Grey's Anatomy.

Keep up the great work.
Lesley

[PamelaJaye]

Krista,
I seriously thought you were going to say you had to write Meredith and George, much as you didn't want to, because it was your turn. ;-)
(it stinks to be the unlucky one like that, if you guys have "a rotation" (do you?))

but you're right. those were the right words at exactly the wrong time. and maybe Meredith did want to be able to fall for the "good guy." And I still feel sorry for George.

My friend Joanne has a life that we like to call The Walt and Joanne show. I think they are in love (though not demonstatively, perhaps) but they do manage to make such snarky comments to each other (Walt teases her a lot over her teenage crush on Scott Bakula -- and it's really funny. Just trust me)

Anyway, looking forward to hearing even more, and hoping you don't mind telling us all about it. You know we just eat it up. (and someone will hate me for this, but I think I'll refer to Mark as McVomit. I don't like him, I don't think he's steamy, Mc or otherwise, and of course, he ruined Derek's life, and by extension Meredith's (not that all of them, including Addison don't bear some of the blame..)

And oh, btw, could you please tell us what exactly was wrong with "Episode Girl"? It was nice to hear she was going to surgery to get "all better." But it would have been nice to know what it was... (yes, I am spoiled by House, but I love Grey's more, and even if I weren't -- where was the last time David Shore talked to the fans?)

I wrote out this whole thing yesterday. I'll see if it's still worth posting...

[Katherine]

Wow. Thank you for giving me this insight. i love that you love the characters. And will do right by them.

[PamelaJaye]

PS -- thanks ever so, for what you named Episode Girl. I really needed that...

Hope you enjoyed your sleep filled weekend. (I had to work yesterday, but not very hard. our biggest customer had the holiday even if we didn't).

[Wendy]

That was amazing, Krista. That is why you are a wonderful writer. You made me feel for Meredith in a way I didn't ten minutes ago. I thank you. Keep writing..you are doing a phenomenal job.

[teri]

thank you so very much for comeing and talking to us.. and makeing the characters real....

I totally understand the issue with george and meredith..
and said all along thats why she slept with george is cause he said all the right things she so desperatley wanted and needed to hear....

it just makes meredith human.. not a mcslut or anyting like that..
just human... with needs and wants..
she just wants to belong to someone who will love her..with all of their being...

thanks again...

love you guys
this show is the best!!!
I am obcessed... its scarry...