Grey's Anatomy: Grey Matter

Shonda Rhimes on "Sanctuary" and "Death and All His Friends"...

Original Airdate: 5-20-10

When I was a kid and I did something crazy, like climb on the roof or eat detergent to see how it tasted, my mom would say -- in that weary, exasperated, “I’d rather be on the beach” tone that all moms have – she would say, “Shonda, what do you have to say for yourself? WHAT?”

I tell you this because I am quite sure that if you saw the finale and you are reading this blog and you…I don’t know, like babies or Mer/Der or happiness or dancing it out…if you like those things, you are shouting, “Shonda, what do you have to say for yourself? WHAT?”

(I’d like to point out that the dark and twisty among you might not be shouting at all. You might be saying, “I get you, Sister! Solidarity!” Or maybe I’m just desperately hoping that is true.)

My point is, if you are asking what I have to say for myself, my answer is this:

I don’t know what to say for myself.

Honestly, I don’t. So I’m going to ramble for a while and see if I come up with something. 

Ready? Here we go:

When I pitched this finale at the beginning of Season 6 (those of you who know me know that I pitch the end of the season first and we work towards it), when I pitched a gunman shooting up the hospital, it seemed fine.

Really it did.

And then 20 or so episodes later, I started to write it and it did not seem fine. It did not seem fine at all. On an almost daily basis, I would come into work and throw myself down on the sofa in the middle of the office and burst into tears like a…well, like a bitch baby. And I would tell the other Grey’s writers, “I don’t think I can do this. It’s too horrible. People are getting hurt. That man is shooting them.” Buckets of bitch baby tears. And Tony and Hammer and Pete and everyone on the writing staff would murmur encouraging things.  My assistant Miguel would say, “You can do it! It’s going to be great!” in that cheerful Miguel way.  And so I would suck up the bitch baby tears and keep writing.  

But here’s the thing. It hurt to write this finale. It literally hurt me. Because in order to write these episodes, I had to walk in the shoes of Gary Clark.  I had to think like a shooter.  A person who would shoot Reed and Alex and Charles. A person who would shoot Derek.  By the time I finished writing part one, I was sick. And depressed. Because my McDreamy – and I think you all will forgive me for believing he is more mine than anyone else’s because c’mon, I wrote my dream guy saying my dream things which is the reason I am single and the reason he is mine – my McDreamy was lying on my beloved catwalk dying. Mer is screaming and he is dying. And, before you have me shot up with Thorazine and placed in a strait jacket, yes, I DO I know it’s a only TV show, I’m not insane, but dude…it felt too real. It felt WAY too real.

And here’s the thing you need to know: in my first draft of Part 1, Gary Clark shot Bailey.  Bailey.  He shot her. And I wrote it and then I couldn’t sleep, for days and days, I could not sleep and I had to remove it from the script. Bailey getting shot was just too much for me. She’s our anchor. She’s the soul. Mer is the heart but Bailey is the soul and so I had to delete it.  Because there was no way I could go on if Bailey had a bullet wound.  The world would just be too…broken. Derek was devastating enough but both Derek and Bailey…it meant I couldn’t go on. 

And then I got to Part 2. I had shattered a world and now I needed to put it back together. Okay…wait:

Here is where many of you are yelling at me, where those of you who weren’t yelling maybe decide to START yelling. Right here. Right now. You want to know why I didn’t do a happy season finale. Why happy things were not happening to happy people in the happy finale. Why I would do what I did to Meredith. You are hollering, “I hate you and your stupid dark and twisty mind, Shonda Rhimes!” 

(Except for y’all who roll with the dark and twisties. You don’t hate, you relate, right? Y’all are out there, still with me, right? Still got your dancing shoes and tequila bottles raised high in the air in solidarity, right? Crap. Not even you guys?)

I promise you, there was a reason for this.

Meredith is whole and healed. I love the scene where she tells April that it took her forever to find Derek and then it took her forever to realize she wanted to be his wife, have his kids. That’s a changed woman. The very fact that being pregnant makes her happy makes her a changed woman.  And then she lost the baby.  It took my breath away. That wince that Meredith gives before she says she is having a miscarriage, it took away my breath.  Reed dies and Charles dies and it’s sad. But the miscarriage, that’s devastating. For Mer. For the audience. For everyone. But you don’t know how much you wanted something until you have lost it. You don’t know your true feelings until a thing you have is gone for good. And that’s what I wanted for Mer. I wanted her to realize just HOW BADLY she wanted a baby. Because Mer is me in a lot of ways. And I always thought I did not want a baby. Until I did. And then suddenly a baby was everything. I wanted her to be sure. Absolutely sure. See, she is a character who spends her life trying not to repeat the mistakes of her mother.  She is trying to overcome. And so I needed her to be sure. I’ve said that Mer will never have kids but then I started to think of that as a challenge. How do I make Mer TRULY WANT to have kids? And so I told this story. It’s horrible and it’s sad. 

It is also what I refer to as the bill. You eat a delicious meal at a delicious restaurant, you get a bill. You buy the expensive bag online, the bill comes due.  You want in, you gotta pay.  Same with life (or at least life as it plays out in my head). The scales have to be balanced.  It’s the hideous game of fate our characters always play. She gets to keep her Derek but the very thing that makes it okay to keep him, that hideous stressful moment where she believes he’s dead? That’s the very thing that makes her lose the baby. The bill was due. And the collection agents came calling. I hate it but it’s the only way I know to do it – let the universe hand Mer a shiny pony and then kick Mer in the face. You don’t get to have everything. There’s always a price. 

Cristina. This finale, especially the second half, belongs to Cristina. Owen chooses her, did you see that? Owen, faced with life or death, knows what he wants and what he wants is some Cristina Yang. But more importantly, Cristina truly comes into her own as a heart surgeon. She’s had numerous teachers, all kinds of setbacks but she finally had the right teacher, she had Teddy, and when she says to herself “pig or cow, Cristina” as she stands over Derek’s chest cavity…that was her graduation. When she refuses to stop operating with a gun literally pressed to her head, that was her commencement. Another part of her graduation? The girl who always had a hard time giving of herself emotionally gives like crazy in this episode. She is willing to die to save Derek because she loves Meredith so much and she promised Mer that she would do her very best work. Cristina Yang graduated tonight. Toss your caps in her honor.

Poor sweet Alex. He didn’t have much to say tonight. Because he got shot almost immediately.  Which was a difficult choice for me to make. Because I love Alex and he’s so important to the show. You wanna see him TALKING. But he has that incredible moment. Where he’s asking for Izzie. And Lexie’s already said she loves him but it’s so clear that the only person he loves is Isobel Stevens and she’s nowhere to be found.  And poor Mark has to watch all of this happening.  Now, I will tell you guys this: I’m not so sure that Lexie really loves Alex. I think her realization that Gary Clark is the shooter has her feeling guilty, like Alex getting shot might be her fault. I think up until tonight she’s been walking like a duck. After all, Mer did tell her that her heart lives in her vagina. And her relationship with Alex is all about sex. I think she loves Mark Sloan but I think this Gary Clark thing has confused her. So there is hope. For Lexie and Mark, there is hope. It just may take a while.

Callie and Arizona. Are together! Yay! I don’t like them apart. They are so great as a couple, so funny and sweet and emotional, that keeping them apart was not even an option right now. This baby thing, it is hard. It is an impossible situation. But in the end, they were each willing to give a little. And that means they can make it work. No matter what they end up actually deciding on the baby front. When they kiss at the end, that’s the one bright spot we have to hold on to. They love each other. Nothing else matters.

This was one of my favorite, most painful Bailey stories. For a doctor to have to sit by and wait and watch as someone dies, to not be able to do anything, that is the greatest tragedy.  When she pulls Charles onto her lap and tells him he is dying but he won’t die alone…well, there are no words. Because all through the finale, she was doing everything she could until there was nothing more to do. Except sit. And wait.

The Mercy Westers really came into their own tonight. Reed died and Charles died and that was awful but April and Jackson joined the tribe tonight. Mer pulled April in when she takes her hand. April lost her best friend and Mer understands that because she has a best friend of her own. And Jackson…he was Cindy Lou tonight. In the face of everything, it’s his quick thinking that saves the day. Sing, Cindy Lou, sing.

Did you see the Chief take back his hospital tonight? Because that’s what he did. He marched into his hospital and he took it back. He poured out the vodka and took control of his hospital. Except now the hospital’s not a hospital anymore. It’s a crime scene. And that’s not a good thing.

What happens next, in the aftermath of the shooting, is anybody’s guess. Well, not really. Because I know. But I can’t tell you. Until then, I suggest you buy the Season 6 DVD. I had to cut a good 18 minutes out of part 2 of the finale. 18 minutes of incredibly juicy goodness. Callie sings, Lexie gets thrown out of an ambulance, Cristina Yang makes the first cut into Derek’s chest, Bailey gives the Bailey aria of a lifetime. And you can only see it in the super-extended version on the DVD. If I ran the network (and I don’t and, in case he is reading this, let me say that I love my boss Steve McPherson deeply because he is strong and powerful and handsome and very smart) but if I did run the network, I would have put those 18 minutes on TV. But I don’t so the only way to enjoy the juicy 18 minute goodness is on the DVD. Okay?

Now, finally, I want to say this. Michael O’Neil who plays Gary Clark is a kind, sweet, gentle man who abhors violence. This was an emotionally difficult role for him to play. He had to step into the mind of a killer. And he did it with complexity and grace. He made Gary Clark three-dimensional. But we were all clear on one thing: the Gary Clarks of the world are the bad guys. Using a gun and shooting up a place makes you a bad person. I was very concerned that we not glorify the violence in the finale. There’s nothing charming about it. That’s why Reed’s death was done so brutally. I wanted it to not be pretty, not be okay. Because a gun is not the way to solve your problems. 

I’ll say it again to make sure you hear me: a gun is not the way to solve your problems. 

Have a good summer. We’ll see you in the fall. And thank you. For watching. Even if you are screaming, “What do you have to say for yourself!?” You make this all possible. The gratitude I feel is kinda boundless.

XO,

Shonda

Zoanne Clack (with Pete Nowalk and Shonda Rhimes) on "Shiny Happy People"...

Original Airdate: 5-13-10

Pete and I wrote this episode.  Two people writing an episode of Grey’s doesn’t happen very often, except with our married writers Tony and Joan.   So the news is…

Pete and I got married and became a writing team!  

Okay, that’s a total lie.  We just got teamed up because it was the end of the season and we were all tired.  It was nice to split the work…

Sorry to interrupt.  Pete here.  I just want to go on record that I would be happy to marry Zoanne.  Cause she’s amazing and awesome and smart and A DOCTOR.  And if I were into the ladies I’d have put a ring on that finger a long time ago.  Just saying.  Okay, shutting up now.  I’m currently trying to break episode 704 – yes, the fourth episode of season 7 – so I need to go.  Back to ZoZo…

The two of us were put in charge of the pre-finale episode.  The episode right before the finale. How do you write the set up episode for the GAME CHANGER?  We thought we’d start by seeing our characters have some fun.  Or at least feign having some fun.  I mean, technically it’s a party, right?  Fun!  Okay, it’s a lame “meet and greet the Chief” party.  It probably shouldn’t even be called a party… more like a work function.  But there’s much juicy info to be gleaned from the party.  For instance, Alex and Lexie are a couple.  A couple couple.  At one point when we were writing they were going to sneak away from the party and upstairs to make whoopie (as it was called on great 70s game shows like “Match Game PM” and “The Newlywed Game”) but that got cut (although it doesn’t mean the sentiment wasn’t still there).  Wonder if that will last considering Mark’s end-of-episode proposition?  

Also?  Cristina agrees to move in with Owen.  Through all the angst, all the PTSD, all the choking – Cristina wants to make this work.  She’s all in.  Until life happens and kills her bliss (more on that later).  What else… Reed wants to play in the big leagues by hitting on Mark.  Who had just hit on Callie.  Who was watching Arizona.  Who was trying not to watch Callie.  Cause Callie still wants so badly to be with Arizona…and that kiss in the elevator pretty much said the same for Arizona – such a bittersweet moment.  Wonder how they’ll figure out this mess.  Stay tuned.

Not at the party? Bailey and Ben.  Oh Ben.  Ben with his smile and charm and clothes…off.  Woohoo!  (I second this Woohoo.   Yes, it’s Pete again.  Back to work.  I swear.)  Mostly it was good to see Bailey having some fun for a change.  But then she catches Ben flirting with some chickadee named Liz.  Oh Ben… do we believe him or not, ladies?  I want to believe him.  I want to believe that his A-game is the only game he’s playing.  I want to believe that Bailey will get her happiness, if such a thing even exists.  

(Shonda here.  Pete was interrupting so I thought I might as well take my turn.  I wanted to say this: when they first pitched me this Ben flirting story, it ended with Bailey finding out that Ben was playing the field, that he thought he and Bailey were not exclusive and so he felt he could flirt with whomever he wanted.  Bailey was heartbroken.  So was I.  Because I love Ben deeply and I’m a single mother and Bailey’s a single mother and we single mothers need to believe that the Bens of the world are out there.  So I marched into Pete and Zo and I said, “BEN IS GOOD.  BEN LOVES BAILEY.  BEN CAN NOT BE A DOG!”  Okay, I hollered it like a crazy person because I’d been up all night worrying that the Bens of the world do not exist.  And because I’m the boss, they said okay.  I’ll stop interrupting now and let you get back to Zo.  Bye.)

When we first started this episode, the theme was “happiness.”  Simple, right?  Who doesn’t think about their own happiness at least once a day?  Well it turns out happiness ain’t so simple.  We read all this research on the topic and the big headline is that we all have to make our own happiness.  Annoying, right?  But the evidence is undeniable.  Statistically, amputees are as happy as lottery winners.  The guy who decided not to play drums for the Beatles says it was the best thing that ever happened to him.  The point?  Good freaking luck finding your own happiness.  It’s this idea that actually became our theme – how we all try to be happy, constantly searching for it, faking it even, just in case it actually decides to show up.  

On to something that made everyone on the set very happy…  

Demi Lovato.

Do you know what a big deal Demi Lovato is?  When the show’s publicist put out a press release that she was going to be a guest star newspapers across the country picked it up the story.  When Demi tweeted about it, it got posted on every blog, entertainment magazine, and internet site out there.  The week before she came to our show, I read about her in not less than two tabloids (we keep them around the office… very important to research our industry daily…ha!) and saw her on American Idol.  So you get it by now.  DEMI’S A BIG DEAL!  And she was AMAZING in this episode.  A complete natural.  What she could say just with her eyes (which was very important for this role) was remarkable.  And it wasn’t an easy role to play, especially considering she was a little starstruck herself.  Apparently she watches Grey’s every week with her mom and to actually be here on the set with McDreamy and the crew was like her own dream come true.  So that’s added pressure.  But she was uber-professional and prepared and all-around awesome.  Big ups to Demi!

Demi’s story gave breath to Alex, both professionally and personally.  Alex knows crazy.  Between his mom, Jane Doe/Ava/Rebecca, and Izzie, he’s had his fair share.  Actually more than his fair share.  Way more than any one man should ever have to deal with in one life.  So he gets Demi’s character from the start.  He uses his gut instinct to save this girl from a life of misdiagnosis.  His gut is also telling him that he should be with a nice, normal girl for a change.  He can do the girlfriend thing, all he has to do is commit to it, make it happen. Just like he saved Demi from being committed herself… 

Now on to the star I personally grew up watching:  Marion Ross.  And by personally I mean she was on my TV every Tuesday on ABC on Happy Days.  I tried so hard not to call her “Mrs. Cunningham” but it was hard.  And she was an absolutely lovely person.  Also lovely?  Alan Mandell, the actor who played Betty’s long lost love Henry.   Cristina wasn’t so enthralled with these love birds.  Because listening to them talk about their tragic, unrequited love – as well as Richard going on about how much he misses Ellis – just made her doubt Owen.   

Okay, we all know it, Cristina and Owen have a complicated relationship.  In fact it’s what makes us love writing about them.  They love each other, but that doesn’t mean both of them don’t have feelings for other people.  Or that they can just decide to shut those feelings off.  And Cristina gets this.  She believes that Owen loves her, she just isn’t okay if he also loves Teddy.  And watching Henry and Betty reconnect made her think long and hard about whether or not Owen was contemplating looking backwards  – to this woman who had been such an important part of his life so long ago.  Not that Owen would ever stray.  He loves Cristina, he’s just a little tortured.  He’s trying to figure it out and was hoping he would never have to confront his feelings for Teddy, but Cristina (with a little help from Mer) is forcing him to do just that.  So now he has to make a choice.  Cristina or Teddy.  Or will one of them make the choice for him…?  

On to Meredith.  She was in a tough spot in this episode.  She knew something she shouldn’t have known and it forced her to be cryptic with Cristina.  Problem is, Mer and Cristina don’t do cryptic.  They’re our twisted sisters.  Real.  Blunt.  Painfully honest.  And we love em for it.  But in this situation Mer needed to take some lessons from her burn patient Amber, who finally forced her best friend to stop with the positive affirmations and start getting real (time to stop being polite and get real!).  Enough with the happy face, Amber basically says, cause life’s not all happy all the time just because you say it is.  And having to pretend otherwise is just exhausting.   So Mer went to Owen and forced the issue.  Girl’s got balls, there’s no denying that.  Oh, BTW, we don’t in any way advocate texting while driving!  That was a joke.  Don’t do it.  (Yeah.  Ditto.  --Pete)

Okay, that concludes your public service announcement from Grey’s Anatomy.  But before I sign off, here’s a final word on next week’s season finale:  Strap on your seatbelt.  Prepare to have mind blown. Cause it’s gonna take you on the ride of your life… (intrigued yet?)

Bill Harper on "How Insensitive"...

Original Airdate: 5-6-10

When Shonda told me, “I think we should have a 700-pound patient come to Seattle Grace,” the first thing I thought of was Patient Sensitivity.  

We’d already discussed the idea of putting our doctors, infamous for their irreverence and dark humor, their ruthless and clever nicknaming of patients, into a lecture on Patient Sensitivity, and this seemed like the perfect patient to tie it to.  Then, I started researching Bailey’s lecture, looking around for the kinds of things that hospitals actually recommend for doctors to do and say, and I found it really telling that almost every program I could find was aimed toward sensitivity to bariatric – obese -- patients.  That’s partly because obesity is an epidemic in this country – more than one-third of Americans are considered clinically obese – and the medical community is racing to catch up.  And also because, sadly, obesity is often called society’s last acceptable prejudice.  So sensitivity to these patients apparently needs to be taught, stressed and re-stressed.

So we knew, with the arrival of this patient, we would explore patient sensitivity.  And also see what sensitive areas these doctors could have exposed along the way.  

In terms of insensitivity to patients, I think historically it’s been a dead heat between Alex and Cristina.  So it was fun to realize that Alex, who might be the least sensitive person among them, could be the one who actually breaks through Bobby’s armor of jokes and the layers of despair that got him to this point, and helps him to see the good guy inside, the way his wife does. It’s the thing Alex has been learning about himself all season.  And in turn, it helps Alex move forward, saying goodbye to Izzie for good.  How big a step is he taking with Lexie, kissing her like that in front of the whole hospital, taking her hand?  Not sure – but in Alex terms, it looks like a giant step to me.  

And on the other hand...Derek.  Arguably the hospital’s most sensitive doctor, Derek utters perhaps the least compassionate thing in the episode.  It’s shocking, and instantly regrettable. Very Un-Dreamy.  I’ll say I had a hard time with this coming out of his mouth, and I wrote it.  But what Richard tells him is true, the job of Chief can eat away at you, transforming even the most caring surgeon into a callous bureaucrat. And Derek’s clearly having one of the worst days of his Chiefhood yet.  That’s Derek’s continuing struggle, and when Mr. Clark comes back to sue him, Derek spends the whole episode wanting to do what he knows is right, to reach out to a broken man, to help, to heal, but he’s backed into a corner where his only job is to be factual, clinical and unemotional.  Add to that the burden of all this sensitive information he has to control, and he and Meredith are in the same trouble they were in season one.  Only now it’s worse -- their relationship doesn’t just affect their own jobs, it can potentially affect the whole hospital. 

Then there’s Cristina. She has to be forcibly shoved into Patient Sensitivity, only to find this little girl who cracks her open and reveals her most vulnerable spot.  Cristina’s forced to make the girl her patient, because she’s uniquely qualified to see Kelly through what was her most painful experience.  I love the moment in the elevator, when she makes the choice without actually knowing why she’s making it – out of pure gut protective instinct.  And, for my money, Cristina does the kindest, most compassionate thing she could do for a child– she lays it all out honestly and without sugar-coating it.  It’s only when Jackson says it out loud to her, makes her acknowledge the truth, that Cristina’s own dam breaks and she has to let it out.  Surprisingly, she chooses Owen over Meredith, to comfort her.  

This was an interesting twist.  I think it’s unusual for Meredith and Cristina to find solace in someone other than each other.  But here, Cristina needs something from Owen that she has given to him – she’s seen him through his darkest hour, when his pain has come back to haunt him.  He knows what this feels like, and knows what to do – how to just ride it out.  And similarly with Meredith and Derek:  He’s too fed up with parsing his words and being straight jacketed into a person he’s not, Meredith knows the only thing she can say is “I love you.”   She’s smart enough to know that sometimes a guy just needs to shut up.  Or hit something.  Like a few golf balls.  

OK, now we have to talk about Callie and Arizona.  They have become pretty much my favorite couple, the ones I could count on.  I want them to stay together, but it’s unavoidable. Callie finds her own sensitive spot in this episode.  She’s vulnerable  -- not to the come-ons of an attractive patient -- but to the sense of possibility it represents to her.  And that’s something she will never get from Arizona.  Because Arizona simply does not want a kid.  It is, as they say, a dealbreaker.  As much as I hate this break up, I have to say I love this break-up, because it feels like something many of us have been through, when we realize that the one thing you’re not getting in a relationship is just important to you as the hundred things you are getting.  I’m sorry it had to happen.  And if you're as sorry as I am, I'll just say this...keep watching! Anything can happen -- and you might find yourself pleasantly surprised!

A couple of random notes on the process I found interesting along the way...

Jerry Kernion, the actor we were lucky enough to cast as Bobby, was an incredible trooper, withstanding up to four hours of getting into fifty pounds of latex each day to play the role, and then endured that blazing hot suit for hours on the set, smiling and joking the entire time.  And all that latex didn’t hinder his incredibly charming and heartbreaking performance.   Thanks again, Jerry. 

Cristina and Kelly’s card game:  We talked in the writer’s room about how it’s often easier for kids to take in big, important, monumental information when they’re not looking at you -- when they’re concentrating on something else.  So I came up with the idea to have them play Slap Jack, which is a card game I play with my own kids. When I went online to make sure my family wasn’t playing by some insane rules we’d invented ourselves, I was surprised – and a little chilled -- to learn that there’s an alternate name for the game Slap Jack.  It’s also called Heart Attack.

Kelly’s Mom:  Was originally conceived as Kelly’s dad, suffering from a sudden heart attack.  But Shonda thought it would be a good way to get out the information that heart attack symptoms in women present very differently than in men, and often aren’t recognized for what they are.  Some women have been sent home from the ER with an antacid, when they were actually in cardiac arrest.  I know we said it in the episode, but it bears repeating!     

That’s it for me for this week, and for this season – but you’ve got two more incredible nights of Grey’s before we go... and trust me, you don’t want to miss them.  If you’re a Demi Lovato fan, you’ll get a treat next week.  And then the FINALE.... I know, we’ve all said it, but... holy crap, don’t miss the finale.  

Thanks for watching!

Bill  

Meg Marinis on "Hook, Line and Sinner"...

Original Airdate: 04-29-10

BABIES. 

LOTS of babies all the time. Real ones. Fake ones. Crying ones. Sleeping ones. Babies and baby paraphernalia everywhere. People telling you to shush, whispering, “Baby on the stage.” Actors having babies, writers having babies, Facebook babies, Tweets about babies… That’s how it was on the set during the filming of this episode. Not only were we filming the story of Sloan-Cubed (That’s what we called Mark Sloan’s grandson), but the night before we began shooting, Eric Dane and his lovely wife Rebecca welcomed their baby into the world. And when we were prepping this episode, writer-producer Stacy McKee gave birth to her beautiful daughter Sabrina.  Like I said, babies, babies everywhere. 

First off, I have to let y’all (Yes, I will be using y’all – I am from Texas, and I just can’t stop) in on an interesting tidbit of production -- filming with live babies? Is INSANE. I mean, insane in a good way, they’re cute and do funny things for the camera, like stick out their tongues and yawn, but also insane, as in their schedules to be allowed on the set? Insane. Babies are allowed to be on the shooting stage for a maximum of twenty minutes per day, and that time must fall within a two hour window. We were lucky in that we had the amazing Spencer and Elijah, the cutest twin baby boys that served as our Sloan-Cubed; therefore, we actually had forty minutes of available shooting time for those scenes. And no offense to Spencer and Elijah or all of baby-kind, but when you want the baby actor to sleep peacefully? He cries. When you want them to cry their guts out in a massive fit of tears? They sleep like angels. So when we were stealing the bottle from a napping Spencer or Elijah in order to induce tears, I’m pretty sure I felt like the worst human being in the world. 

So, Sloan Sloan’s baby was delivered on Mark’s living room floor. While Teddy was pantless in Mark’s dress shirt. While Owen was awkwardly noticing a pantless Teddy in Mark’s dress shirt (More to come on the Teddy/Owen angst later). While breaking this episode in the writers’ room, we talked about a bunch of different ways we could show Sloan-Cubed’s arrival – do we rush a laboring Sloan to Seattle Grace and have her give birth in the ER? Do we give the birth some serious medical medical and save both the lives of Sloan and her baby by an awesome risky surgery? Does Addison hop on a helicopter in her trendy heels and chopper down from LA? Do we show the ACTUAL birth? 

We went with the version that aired because we really thought we wanted a super-charged, fun, dynamic opening to the show – I LOVE this opening. Director Tony Phelan did an amazing job of setting up the sequence that went from the Callie/Arizona fight to Mark screaming for suture kits, to everyone running across the hallway and standing in the doorway as Teddy just looks at them while holding this newborn covered in goo. 

Wait. Pause. Hi, I’m Meg, and I’m the Director of Medical Research, and this is my very first time at writing an episode.  And I’m writing to you like you know me. Because I know you. Or, most of y’all. Or, at least the die-hard ones that have been around for years. The bloggers. When I first started at GREY’S, in Season 3, I was the Writers’ PA, and one of my main jobs was to read all of your comments and post them, so that the writers could then read all of your thoughts. So every Thursday night, after the show aired on the West coast, I would log on to this blog and read what y’all had to say. Or type. I read and posted everything. The good things AND the bad things. And it may sound totally weird, and I hope I don’t creep anyone out, but it really makes me happy when three years later, I see a lot of my familiar blogging friends with their same author names, still writing to us. So thank you, blogging-fans. For watching, for reading, and for writing. We really appreciate it and please keep at it. But anyway, I’m Meg, and it’s nice to finally and officially meet all of you.  

So while Mark is learning how to be a dad and supporting Sloan in making the right decision for her son’s future… Callie and Arizona are finally talking about the “baby” in the room. And literally are interrupted by an actual baby being delivered in the other room… does anyone else find that as funny as I do? Anyway… When Shonda told us that this would be the episode where Callie and Arizona have the all-out FIGHT, my first question was, well, who wins? Is it going to be baby… or no baby? And really, how does Arizona, a PEDIATRIC surgeon really not want kids? She obviously likes them, she’s obviously great with them, I mean, why else put herself through one of the hardest specialties in medicine, if not? And that’s what Callie doesn’t understand. Callie watches her girlfriend help deliver a baby, watches her girlfriend calm a baby down, and watches her girlfriend insert a central line into another baby in the NICU. All in one day. Arizona never flinches when dealing with babies that are her patients. So in Callie’s mind, there must be a reason why Arizona doesn’t want one of her own. And she assumes it’s because her brother died. And yikes, does she assume wrong. That scene in the residents’ lounge? Jessica and Sara were freaking genius in that scene. Arizona cannot even believe Callie went to the brother place. And we see that, Arizona really just doesn’t want kids. There is no THING that happened. There is no dark hidden story that she can’t bear to talk about. She just DOESN’T want them. 

It’s heartbreaking because they love each other, and they want this relationship to work. Badly. It’s heartbreaking because they want to make each other happy, they want to meet in the middle, they want to compromise. But what’s the compromise when it comes to babies? I get it when it’s Friday night, and I’m exhausted from researching medical medical all day, and I want to watch “Smallville” (Yes, I watch “Smallville, I love “Smallville,” and I love it proudly) but my fiancé obviously wants to watch some five-hour sporting event (between two teams that have nothing to do with the state we’re from OR the city we live in). But we love each other, so we do what every bickering couple would do… we watch “Friday Night Lights” instead. Compromise. Both of us happy. But with Callie and Arizona? Isn’t it, baby… or no baby? Can their relationship survive if they keep having this fight? 

Mer and Der. There’s a relationship that’s surviving and thriving. And I know they didn’t have a ton of alone time this episode. And I know that y’all don’t like that sometimes, but please remember when you’re expressing yourself on this blog about how much you don’t like it, that we will still understand your passion about the couple and how many minutes they have together in the episode, if you could somehow use the words freak, dang, heck, and shoot rather than their alternatives. We completely get where you’re coming from, but there’s no need to shout at our writers. Or our Writers’ PA Tia, who when posting the comments, tries to keep the language clean and friendly for all ages. And BTW, there’s nothing to shout about here. Even though April may be an adoring young resident who thinks everything out of Derek’s mouth is hilarious, McDreamy doesn’t see that. McDreamy only sees Meredith. And even though Alex tries to break it down for her, Mer’s not really threatened by April. She knows her Post-It’s all good. It sure seemed fine when she went in to see Derek in the conference room at the end of the day… 

But one relationship you’ll want to keep a close eye on in the few remaining episodes of Season 6 is the Cristina/Owen/Teddy triangle. Not only did Owen throw Teddy under the bus with the threat of her losing her job, but he basically lied to Cristina’s face about it. I love how Cristina’s devotion to cardio is so blinding that she doesn’t even fully realize her betrayal of Teddy until that scene at the Nurses’ Station when Teddy tells her Evans is being considered as her replacement. And then when Owen comforts her in the elevator, Teddy just breaks down. That’s such a raw moment for the two of them, and I find it so interesting that we’re really exploring the possibility of Owen maybe being in love with two women. Undoubtedly, he is in love with Cristina. But the fact that being that close to Teddy in that elevator sent him to Derek’s office to tell him he can pass on Teddy? Pretty significant. And keep watching, because what Owen said to Derek will continue to be explored next week… 

… And trust me when I say, don’t change the channel on Thursday nights in the following weeks… And my heart’s even beating faster as I write this because things are happening and finales are approaching…And oh my goodness…

And again, thank you so very much for watching, reading, and writing. 

And thank you especially to Shonda, Krista, Hammer, Pete, Tony, Joan, Zoanne, Debora, Allan, Jenna, Stacy, Bill, Austin, Star, Darren, Chris, Miguel, Seve, Safia, Raamla, Tia, Nancy, Jess, Susan, Betsy, Rob, the cast, and the crew. Thank you all so very, very much for giving me the amazing opportunity to write this episode.

Allan Heinberg on "Sympathy for the Parents"...

Original Airdate: 4-1-10

Tonight’s episode was about parenting.  But I’ll let you in on a little behind-the-scenes GREY’S trivia.  The first draft of the script had absolutely nothing to do with parenting – at least not thematically.  The theme of the first draft was limitations.

The stories were basically the same, but Meredith’s voice-over was about how most people – surgeons, especially – go through their lives refusing to accept or even admit to their own limitations.  They push through their days and nights striving to be the best, most successful and most lovable versions of themselves imaginable.  They struggle endlessly – needlessly – to become something they can never ever be:  perfect. 

We were interested in exploring the somewhat counterintuitive idea that by accepting our own – and other people’s – limitations, we actually allow ourselves to experience life as it’s really happening – to appreciate it on its own terms, rather than to constantly measure it against impossible expectations.  

In the “limitations” draft, Meredith, crippled by the emotionally abusive parenting she received from Ellis and Thatcher, had serious doubts about her ability to be anyone’s mother.  But by essentially parenting Alex and his brother, Aaron, throughout the episode, Meredith discovered she might not make such a terrible mom after all.

Alex knew he could never bring himself to return to Iowa to become his family’s full-time caretaker again, but he was able to help Aaron in his own limited way.  He did get his brother a free surgery, after all.  And ultimately Alex was surprised to realize that all Aaron really wanted – in fact, the only reason he even came to Seattle – was to reconnect with his brother again.  And that much, Alex could do.

Also in the course of the first draft, Cristina came up against her own limitations trying to communicate with and care for Owen as he continues to suffer from PTSD.

Mark and Teddy found themselves limited by not being able to be with the people they truly loved.  However, by finally admitting to the unspoken truth that they’re both in love with other people, they were actually able to take some comfort in one another.

Lexie, Richard, April, and Derek were forced to come to terms with the limitations of medicine – as well as the emotional limitations dictated by their profession.

And Callie and Arizona finally had to question whether or not their romantic partnership can survive their own -- and each other’s -- limitations.  Callie wants to have a child.  Arizona doesn’t.

All of which is to say that the stories were originally geared toward illuminating and exploring the characters’ inevitable, insurmountable limitations.

Then we had what we call a writers’ table-read, which is what we do when we want to hear a new script out loud before the actual table read with the actual cast of GREY’S ANATOMY.  

At a writers’ table-read, the entire writing staff – and the entire support staff – sits around a great, big table in the middle of the writer’s room with fresh-off-the-printer scripts and a generous supply of York Peppermint Patties, Coffee Nips, and those fiendishly addictive Mother’s Frosted Circus Animal Cookies.  Everybody plays at least one, if not several, roles.  Everybody, except Shonda, who listens and scribbles furiously in her script.  Joan Rater usually plays Meredith.  Krista Vernoff channels Cristina.  Tony Phelan brings his own commanding authority to Derek Shepherd.  And Mark Wilding does a mean Richard Webber.  I generally play patients for some reason, but then I am susceptible to colds.

At any rate, we read the first draft of the script, and then there was silence.  Terrible, deafening, Shonda-silence.  The kind of silence that usually indicates a long night ahead and a very thorough rewrite.  And then finally Shonda looked at me and announced that I hadn’t written an episode about limitations at all.  I had written about parenting.  After all, Derek and Meredith were talking about having a baby.  Callie and Arizona were specifically not talking about having a baby. Gina, the super-cop discovers she can’t have a baby.  And then at the end, Sloan Sloan marches in and announces she’s about to have a baby.  

Shonda was right.  As usual.  Even on a metaphorical level, Meredith spends the episode parenting Alex.  As does Bailey, for that matter.  Alex spends the episode trying to parent Aaron without completely losing himself in the past and his family’s dysfunction.  And if you extend the metaphor further, Richard parents Lexie through the rigors of having to take her patient off life-support.  Bailey parents Callie on the subject of having children.  Teddy parents Cristina in the O.R. and in her personal life with Owen.  When viewed through the thematic prism of parenthood, I was suddenly seeing examples of it throughout the episode.  Anytime the doctors of Seattle Grace-Mercy West helped each other, taught each other, cared for each other, they were parenting.  They were raising one another.  Which seems appropriate.  Seattle Grace-Mercy West is a teaching hospital, after all. 

I couldn’t help but appreciate the irony that an episode about limitations transcended its own theme and organically became an episode about parenthood, a miraculous process by which people transcend their own limitations and discover there’s absolutely no limit to the amount of love it’s possible to feel for another person.

On that note, it’s time for me to express my own limitless love for GREY’S ANATOMY and for the extraordinary people who make it.  After four seasons as a writer and producer on the show, I’ve decided to take a leave of absence and spend next season writing some projects of my own.  I’m excited about the future, but sad to be leaving.  GREY’S has the finest writing staff, the finest crew and production staff and the best cast I’ve ever worked with – and I will miss seeing everybody every day.  But I’ll be visiting a lot.  And it’ll be fun to watch the episodes every week without having any idea what’s going to happen next.

But I can’t begin to tell you how grateful I am for the time I spent at Seattle Grace-Mercy West and for the people who watch the show and read this blog.  This job has been life-changing.  I’ve learned and continue to learn so much from the show, from the characters, and from the experience.  

I owe a profound debt of gratitude to Shonda and Betsy for the opportunity, the inspiration, and their overwhelming generosity.  To Krista for her leadership and bravery and open heart.  To Jenna, Jess, Debora, Seve, Zoanne, Safia, Austin, Bill, Nancy, Elizabeth, Gabe, Molly, Meg, Stacy, Star, Raamla, Moira, Tia, Miguel, Pete, Tony, Darren, Joan, Sonay, and of course Mark “The Hammer” Wilding for four years of friendship and gloriously inappropriate workplace behavior.  Thanks to Rob, Jeff, Karin, Winter and Thom for taking such good care of us all.  To Linda Klein for all things medical medical.  Thanks to our incredible crew, production staff, and cast for making GREY’S ANATOMY the best job I’ve ever had.

Thank YOU for watching.  And for reading.  

And believe me when I tell you, you are not going to believe what happens in the season finale.

Stay tuned…